The most difficult part would be deciding on the guest list and seating arrangements, but in my case, that wasn’t much of an issue. I didn’t have any noble young ladies I was friendly with.

Most of the guest list was inherited from Kirhin, and there were only two guests I would invite in my name. Penu Raznish and Chester Storms.

I paused while diligently moving my pen. Chester’s voice came to mind.

‘I formally request the right to escort Miss Lucienne Bickman.’

Taking him as a partner meant that I intended to develop my relationship with him. People would expect an engagement, and probably that’s how we would become engaged. I could delay the timing a bit, but ultimately it meant the path I would take was being decided.

……I’ve never dreamed of married life with someone.

As I rolled my eyes, I saw a long paperweight pressing down on a stack of documents. Made of silver, it was wrapped with green string at regular intervals to make it easy to grip.

I was staring at it intently when I heard someone’s footsteps and raised my head. A man who entered softly without warning, opening the door gently and slipping in, stopped in his tracks when he saw me.

How many days has it been?

Since meetings with him were always unpredictable, my heart seemed to sink whenever I suddenly encountered him like this. Perhaps not expecting me to be here, Lars paused for a moment before speaking.

“What are you doing until this hour? Even those busy royal secretaries wouldn’t work this late.”

“I thought you’d only trust me if I worked hard anytime, anywhere.”

I replied while hiding my joy, and Lars let out a small laugh as he walked slowly toward me. The black cloak he wore was certainly heavy and rough in texture, but I wondered how it could flutter so elegantly.

Coming beside the desk, he picked up the document pressed down by the paperweight. His nicely arched eyebrow twitched.

“Preparing for the New Year’s party?”

“Since Nina is gone. Someone has to step up and do it, right?”

With narrowed eyes, he looked at my face and the approval stamp on the desk, and a faint smile appeared at the corner of his mouth.

“Indeed.”

I naturally watched him as he picked up the teacup and took a sip. His beautiful green eyes glinted coolly.

“Did you plan from the beginning to push Nina out and take control of Bickman’s finances?”

Should I say yes? Would that make him think I’m smarter?

But I didn’t want to deceive him like that. I shook my head.

“That wasn’t my aim. Just…”

“……”

“I didn’t like Nina and wanted an excuse to drive her out.”

Lars, who had been quietly looking at me, raised the corner of his mouth with a “ha.” He crossed his arms and laughed softly.

“It would be a problem if you disliked someone.”

“You don’t need to worry about that……”

I instinctively replied but quickly lowered my gaze. Clearing my throat, I fumbled for the teacup with my hand.

My throat was parched, but remembering that he had just drunk from it, I couldn’t easily put my lips to it. As the silence continued, it became even harder to raise my head, so with furrowed brows, I abruptly asked.

“What are you doing on January 4th?”

“What?”

“I’m thinking of holding the New Year’s party then. Though you probably won’t attend such an event anyway.”

I pulled out the invitation that had been buried at the very bottom of the pile and held it out.

“I wanted to give you this at least.”

It was an invitation in the name of Lucienne Bickman.

At first, I had written his name but tore it up, and the second time I wrote Damian Winton but tore that up too. Deciding it was better not to write a name, all I had written was L, the first letter of Lars.

Lars reached out and took the invitation. Only then could I glance up at his face. A subtle emotion seemed to cross his eyes as he looked at the large letter written in dark green ink on high-quality white silk paper.

“I should practice my handwriting. It’s still terrible.”

That comment made the corners of my eyes lift, breaking through my timidity. Lars opened his mouth while playfully twirling the invitation with his finger.

“Are you sure? Giving me, who can’t even attend, the only invitation written in Lucienne Bickman’s name?”

He really won’t be able to come. Hiding my disappointment, I deliberately raised my nose.

“Your arrogance is excessive. It’s one of three, you know.”

Lars’s eyebrow rose in surprise.

“One would be for Penu Raznish, and the other?”

“Chester Storms.”

At my answer, the invitation that had been dancing between his fingers stopped moving. Looking at me with slight surprise, a line formed between Lars’s brows.

“Don’t you know what it means to invite only that man to such an occasion?”

“Chester made a request to be my partner.”

For some reason, my voice grew smaller, as if something was caught in my throat making it difficult to swallow.

“I didn’t have any particular reason to refuse……”

The sound of wood crackling in the fireplace filled the air. Lars, who seemed lost in thought while tapping the invitation with his finger, slowly opened his mouth.

“So you like him.”

I like you.

I wanted to shout that, but I swallowed my words and gave a neutral answer.

“He’s beyond my station.”

Especially considering that until recently, I was in the position of wearing a maid’s uniform and scrubbing floors.

Lars seemed to laugh lightly, but somehow his expression looked heavy, so I watched his face. His pleasant voice, after taking a short breath, lazily overlapped the sound of burning wood.

“Storms himself isn’t much good. He was also acquainted with the previous Count Balshwin. But Chester is different. Though he receives the Count’s favor, he lives in an independent territory.”

His eyes formed a loose arc as he nodded slowly. His eyes always had a sharp feeling at their base even when smiling, so this expression was somewhat unfamiliar.

With a feeling as if someone was slowly gripping my heart, I frowned. Lars spoke softly.

“Yes. Go that way.”

I watched him turn around and walk toward the door, then hurriedly ran to grab his arm. My heart was pounding, sensing something unsettling.

“What do you mean?”

“You can’t do this work while dreaming of a future with someone, kid.”

Lars turned back with a cold face and easily shook off my hand. It was a trivial action, but somehow it felt like a cold blade cutting through my chest, leaving me helpless, moving only my lips.

“I, I……”

I couldn’t continue. Lars had stepped forward, stood in front of the fireplace, and thrown the invitation I had given him into it.

With a whoosh, the flames devoured the glossy paper. It felt like someone had struck the back of my head hard. It seemed like it was my heart that was turning to black ashes.

Lars’s voice, looking at me obliquely, quietly pierced my ears.

“From now on, don’t concern yourself with the merchant group’s affairs.”

I couldn’t dare follow him as he put up a wall of dignity that he had rarely shown in front of me.

Just like when he entered, he slipped out like smoke, opening the door, and only after his presence had completely disappeared did a tear drop from my eye. As the droplets turned into streams wetting my entire cheek, I couldn’t make a sound.

I had been pushed away. Completely.

Perhaps he would never come to see me again. He would never accept my insistence or my impudent behavior. He might not send me to a convent, but he would not allow me to be involved in any matters related to the merchant group.

No.

No!

Staggering, I opened the door and ran out. The mansion, wrapped in the stillness of the night, was so quiet that no sound could be heard. All that echoed was my gasping breath; I couldn’t tell where he had gone.

“Hic, hic.”

Tears poured out, and I collapsed on the spot. My chest hurt so much that I clutched it and pressed my head to the floor, but it didn’t help at all.

I recalled how he looked when we first met. And the dark forest path we walked together. The emotions I felt when I first encountered him in this mansion after leaving prison seemed to be charring like the burned invitation.

……When did I ever dream of a future? What meaning would such a future have for me? Just use me. I said I would do anything, so how hard is it to give me any menial task!

Even knowing these were unreasonable, childish thoughts, I resented him. I couldn’t even go find him, let alone confront him. Because I didn’t know where he was.