Chapter 7

Alberto tapped his fingers on the table in confusion. Rabiana snapped back to her senses. She quickly tapped her cane forward and found the table, then sat down.

“F-from now on, I’ll do everything by myself.”

“By yourself?”

“I can manage on my own.”

“Is that so?”

Rabiana hid her trembling hands beneath the table. She felt exposed. Like every ugly, pathetic part of her had been laid bare. Her face flushed with heat. If she could, she would’ve run away.

“If this is just a tantrum, then find someone else.”

Alberto’s cold words hit the mark. She couldn’t survive a single day without someone’s help. The blunt truth of it made her eyes burn.

But he didn’t stop there.

“I bear responsibility as well.”

“…..”

“So at the very least, while you’re living in my estate, you should act like my wife—in other words, the mistress of House Roen. I brought you here, so it’s my duty to teach you how to behave accordingly.”

A chair scraped against the floor. Before she realized it, Alberto had come close and reached out a hand. Rabiana flinched instinctively. His hand halted in midair.

“Do you dislike being touched?”

“…It’s not that.”

“Then what?”

“…”

“I won’t know unless you tell me.”

Rabiana took a deep breath. Bringing out the parts of herself she had never shared with anyone—it was difficult.

She moistened her lips, opened her mouth, then closed it again, hesitating. Alberto didn’t press her but waited persistently.

Finally, with a trembling voice, she let the words out.

“I’m scared.”

“…”

“I can only barely sense when someone approaches. When someone grabs me without a word… it’s terrifying.”

Alberto withdrew his hand. He couldn’t fully understand how Rabiana felt. Even trying to understand her might have been arrogance—and ultimately meaningless. But at the very least, he now understood why she had swung the cane.

Of course, knowing didn’t change anything.

Regardless of the reason, it was still true that Rabiana had acted immaturely as the duchess.

He knew that. He had thought to ignore it at least until she bore a child, but now that it was happening right before his eyes, he couldn’t just let it go.

“From now on, I’ll ask before touching you.”

“…”

“You should tell that to others too—not just me. You need to say it to others as well. It’ll make things easier for you.”

His tone seemed a little gentler, and Rabiana relaxed slightly.

Instead of grabbing her again, Alberto tapped the table with his finger as if to show her where the fork was.

Following the sound, she reached out and picked up the fork, then returned her hand to her side.

“Eat.”

At his dry and firm command, Rabiana tilted her head in confusion. She had definitely heard earlier that he didn’t eat breakfast.

“You came to eat?”

“No. I came to watch.”

“Why…”

“I value appearances quite a bit. Even when my child is born, I don’t want disgraceful rumors about our relationship spreading.”

His calculating words stung. She couldn’t tell whether Alberto, who considered the feelings of a child not even born yet but disregarded her own, should be called considerate—or indifferent.

Once the child was born, Rabiana would probably be thrown out of this mansion. Though he called it freedom, it was really exile.

She had already decided she would die when that time came—but it still felt bitter and lonely.

She had just wanted to live a normal life. Even that, it seemed, was too much to ask.

Clatter!

As she reached out to drink water, her hand knocked into the glass, and it fell immediately. The sharp sound of shattering froze Rabiana in place.

After a brief silence, Alberto moved to call for someone.

“I-I’ll do it.”

She had just boasted moments ago that she could do things on her own. If she couldn’t even handle this, she was afraid he would look down on her. Rabiana quickly stood up.

“I can do it.”

She didn’t want any more fuss. She wanted to live quietly, unnoticed, like she had in Lawrence’s estate.

Rabiana crouched down and reached for the floor. Sharp glass shards pricked her hands in several places. As she fumbled for the pieces, a hand suddenly seized her wrist.

Alberto, now beside her, was breathing roughly.

“What do you think you’re doing?”

“I dropped it, so I should clean it up…”

“Is it that hard to ask for help?”

“…”

“Why must you show yourself in such a state? That ridiculous pride? Do you still have something like that?”

He was right. Rabiana had completely crushed her pride the day of their wedding. It was something she was not allowed to have.

But this wasn’t pride.

It was more like the reflexive defiance of someone who had spent years being a burden, shrinking away from the world.

“I regret choosing a woman like you.”

The coldly sharpened words pierced her heart.

“If you’ve made a mistake, admit it. If you need help, ask for it. You’re not special. Everyone lives that way.”

“…”

“You really are stubborn.”

Alberto forced her back into the chair, then walked out of the dining room.

Soon after, maids rushed in, cleaned up the broken glass, and wiped the blood from her cut hands.

Stubborn.

That word echoed in her mind like a hollow refrain.

“Oh dear, My Lady! Are you badly hurt?”

At last, the tears she had been holding back began to fall.

***

“There, all done~”

Julia said cheerfully as she wrapped the bandage snugly. Her light tone, thinking Rabiana cried only because of the injury, eased Rabiana’s heart somewhat—but also made her feel guilty about having swung the cane.

After shedding a round of heavy tears, Rabiana was able to view her mistake with a bit more clarity.

She realized she had behaved like an immature child.

It felt as if she were still stuck at ten years old, the age when the accident happened. She had vaguely known it before, but Alberto had pointed it out precisely. Insisting on doing everything alone in a situation that required help—it had been nothing more than stubbornness.

‘If you’ve made a mistake, admit it. If you need help, ask for it. You’re not special. Everyone lives that way.’

She was no longer in Lawrence’s arms. She couldn’t remain a child forever.

“Ju…”

“Yes?”

“S-sorry.”

Even though she couldn’t see, Rabiana bowed her head, too afraid to face Julia’s expression.

The words came out in a rushed burst like a confession, and her face burned hot. She couldn’t even remember the last time she had apologized.

Her heart pounded wildly, unsure of how Julia would respond.

“Pft.”

Julia, who had been kneeling at her feet, let out a small laugh. Was she being mocked?

Just as Rabiana’s heart started to cool in dread, Julia took her hand.

“You’re apologizing about earlier when I fell, right? Why say sorry for something like that? It’s really fine.”

“…Are you really okay? You’re not hurt?”

“Of course. I was a little surprised, but you were startled too, so it just means I wasn’t considerate enough. Still, thank you for the apology.”

Thanks to Julia, who accepted her apology so readily, Rabiana felt a bit of relief—but she couldn’t shake the worry that maybe it wasn’t true.

What if Julia was secretly badmouthing her behind her back?

What if, despite her smile, her face was twisted with annoyance?

“Don’t let something like that get you down. Back then, the Duke was even more guarded than you, My Lady. I was still a maiden at the time, and it really made me realize how hard it is to take care of just one person.”

With that unexpected comment, Rabiana’s worries melted away. Julia’s voice was just as light and breezy as before.

That melodic voice held no trace of bitterness or resentment.

“The Duke?”

As relief set in, curiosity followed.

Alberto, who had lectured her earlier, had been even worse? A faint breeze suggested Julia had nodded.

“Oh, definitely. That’s why I considered not marrying for a while.”

“Why…?”

It was hard to believe Alberto had ever been that guarded.

“Oh. You don’t know yet, My Lady? The Duke actually came to the ducal estate when he was about ten. Until then, he’d lived outside. I don’t know the full details, but back then, he was basically like a herbivore straight out of the wild. You so much as touched him and he’d say, ‘Don’t touch me,’ ‘Don’t come near me,’ ‘Don’t talk to me,’ ‘Go away’…”

Alberto?

The same man who told her to ask for help—had once acted like a hissing cat toward everyone? She couldn’t believe it.

“Really? I had no idea.”