7. Honestly, passionately (Part 1)

It rained again.

After days of bright and sunny weather, the sudden downpour had knocked down all the fully bloomed flowers.

Eirin stood by the parlor room window, gazing blankly at the falling raindrops and flower petals. With her unfocused gaze, Victoria approached her.

“Eirin, aren’t you glad it’s raining?”

“……”

“Why do you have that expression on your face? You’re the happy young lady who will soon be a new bride.”

To her question, Eirin only gave an awkward smile without a word.

Victoria was Eirin’s one and only friend in the world, but lately, Eirin found it difficult to pour out her heart to her. Now that she knew about Victoria and Stefan’s relationship, it was hard to confide in her. But if Eirin were to tell Victoria how depressed and distressed she was, she would have to tell her that she had seen their secret affair the night of the ball, and Victoria would surely be embarrassed about it.

She couldn’t do that. It would be too shameful.

Eirin thought Victoria might have her own reasons, so she didn’t ask separately. In fact, she was so preoccupied with her own situation that she had no time to be concerned about Victoria.

How selfish of me. Victoria is here worrying about me now.

Eirin forced a weak smile and replied, 

“The pretty flowers have wilted, so I’m feeling a bit down.”

Not knowing what else to say, she closed her lips once more.

Victoria must have thought Eirin was acting strange. Objectively, this is a situation she should be joyfully celebrating.

Eirin’s upcoming marriage was the talk of high society. The Duke of Bellaston, famous for his disinterest in marriage, had proposed to the late bloomer Eirin. Duke Alexander Bellaston was one of the wealthiest men in the country, boasting a handsome appearance and impeccable manners, so everyone else gushed that Eirin must be so happy.

So Eirin couldn’t say she was feeling down because of the marriage.

That night in the west wing of the mansion, the incident where Stefan saw Alexander and Eirin together and severely confronted him was a secret known to no one.

“The flowers will bloom again, though.”

To Victoria’s consolation, Eirin could only whisper with her tense lips, 

“I suppose so.”

The flowers will bloom again next year.

Next year, Eirin will no longer be in the Knightley Estate, but the flowers won’t care and will still bloom their beautiful buds.

“Ah.”

Eirin sighed.

After insisting that she didn’t want a loveless marriage. She ended up forcing a loveless marriage on someone else, moreover, it was to Alexander, the man she loves.

That’s why she couldn’t feel at ease. Even though the person she’s marrying is the man she loves.

“I suppose the Duke of Bellaston would feel lonely after you leave the mansion. It won’t be as easy to see each other now.”

This time, Eirin simply nodded in agreement to Victoria’s words.

After their marriage was decided, Alexander immediately left the mansion, saying he couldn’t stay in the same house. If it was known that the two had been in a relationship while living in the same mansion, there would be whispers about Eirin’s virtue.

Though belatedly, Alexander hastily acquired a nearby mansion to uphold the propriety. It was fortunate that his original estate was very far away, so he didn’t have to return there, but his absence made the large mansion feel desolate.

Uncertain of how to treat him, Eirin felt both relieved and lonely without him there.

She doesn’t even know her own heart.

Another sigh escaped Eirin’s lips for what must have been the nth time today.

“Lady Eirin.”

At that moment, a maid entered the parlor room, carrying a large flower basket.

“A delivery has arrived.”

It was still raining heavily.

How did this flower basket arrive in the pouring rain?

Sent by carriage, the beautiful purple flowers inside were untouched by a single droplet.

“Oh, how lovely.”

Victoria, entranced, stepped towards the bouquet.

“The fragrance is lovely as well.” 

Said Victoria, as the rich aroma of the flowers filled the room the moment the maid brought in the flower basket.

“It must be from the Duke of Bellaston, of course.” 

At Victoria’s words, Eirin reached out and pulled a white letter tucked among the flowers. As she opened it, she recognized the familiar and elegant handwriting.

[These are wildflowers that bloom in the northern region of Spain in the summer. Eagerly anticipating our trip to Spain together. Alexander.]

Seeing the curious gleam in Victoria’s eyes, Eirin wearily handed her the letter. Her long-time friend read the letter and tilted her head, wondering about the mention of northern Spain.

“The Bellaston family has a villa in northern Spain, and I had mentioned wanting to visit there someday.” 

“Ah, I see.” 

Victoria said, clasping her hands and sighing sweetly. 

“The Duke is a much more romantic man than I thought. He carefully remembers such details.”

Eirin forced another uneasy smile.

Alexander was indeed very different from what she had imagined. Eirin had thought the marriage was forced, so she expected him to cancel it the very next day. Or at least act reluctant, like a cow being led to the slaughterhouse. But he had not been half-hearted in his role as her fiancé at all.

Just yesterday, he had sent her favorite pastries, and the day before, a collection of Romantic era poets, including a brand-new volume of Lord Byron’s works, which were notoriously difficult to obtain.

To anyone watching, Alexander was behaving like a man deeply in love.

But Eirin’s heart aches so much.

It had been a week since their engagement was announced, and Alexander had not shown his face.

Doesn’t he want to see me?

That’s understandable. It’s a forced marriage for him after all.

The further Alexander’s physical presence drifted away, the more distant his heart felt. No matter how many gifts she received from him, or how affectionate the letters were, it all seemed like a performance to show that the marriage was proceeding smoothly.

I’d rather see his face just once more than receive all these gifts.

With a heavy heart, Eirin took the wildflowers he had sent and headed to her bedroom. She placed the flowers by the sunny window and sat there, staring at them vacantly.

The vibrant, brilliant petals contrasted with the pouring rain outside.

* * *

After Alexander had moved out, Eirin had not seen him for almost a week.

As if mirroring Eirin’s state of mind, the rain continued to pour without stopping. She couldn’t even take a short stroll in the nearby gardens. Feeling increasingly downcast, she couldn’t even pick up a pen.

It was impossible to write about someone else’s love when her own love life was raining like the rainy season.

Eirin just sat on the sofa, gazing out the window, occasionally glancing down the driveway in case Alexander might come.

It was wrong after all.

Choosing this marriage was a mistake.

If only my brother hadn’t found out then.

Although Alexander had said he would marry her due to the circumstances, for Eirin, it seemed like he had no real intention of marrying her. 

That’s why he couldn’t even show up.

Alexander finally reappeared at the Knightley Estate the day after the rain had stopped.

“My Lady, the Duke of Bellaston is here.”

Eirin was quite taken aback by the maid’s announcement. She had given up hope after he had been absent for so long.

“Suddenly? Without any notice?”

“Yes, I’ve just shown him to the parlor room.”

“Now?”

Eirin kept confirming, making the maid tilt her head in puzzlement.

“The butler told me to guide him there, but shall I tell him to leave for today?”

“Oh, no, no.” 

Eirin almost cried out, but quickly composed herself and told the maid, 

“I’ll go to the parlor room shortly.”

Startled by his sudden appearance, Eirin was flustered. 

Alexander is here.