December 17th, Clear ☀

Lately, our daily routine has become quite regular.

At seven in the morning, I wake up Kim In-woo. They say a regular lifestyle is effective in preventing depression in humans. Today, Kim In-woo told me <just 5 minutes> when I tried to wake him up and slept until eight. When eight o’clock came, I couldn’t wait any longer. Usually, he gets up by eight at the latest, but today he was still sprawled out.

As I sometimes do, I carried Kim In-woo to the bathroom. When I carry him, sometimes he gets red-faced and angrily says he can do this himself, and other times he’s too lazy to even do that and just stays quietly limp.

Today was the latter. Having read books until late last night, he seemed sleepy and complained about why he had to wake up early when he wasn’t even going to work. I put a toothbrush in Kim In-woo’s hand, and though complaining, he eventually brushed his teeth obediently.

While Kim In-woo washes up in the bathroom, I set out the food the android left on the dining table. Since Kim In-woo often got indigestion if he ate too much for breakfast, breakfast menu usually consisted of soft bread or colorful cereal.

When Kim In-woo comes out, that’s when we eat together. Recently, Kim In-woo has gained weight nicely. At one point he was really just skin and bones, but these days he’s gained appropriate weight and feels nice to hug. He’s grown quite tall too. Humans usually grow until before age 20, but perhaps because he was nutritionally deficient before and got proper nutrition late, Kim In-woo kept growing even after turning 20.

After finishing breakfast, it’s usually around eight-thirty to nine o’clock. Today, since we started eating late, it became nine.

With the artificial sun lower in the sky, it’s a perfectly pleasant cool time. After meals, Kim In-woo and I always go out and walk a full lap around the cage.

Kim In-woo always praised me for being quite diligent in maintaining a regular lifestyle. Though he seemed to want to be exempted himself, when I pushed, he eventually gave in. With regular movement, Kim In-woo’s poor stamina has been improving bit by bit.

Actually, Kim In-woo’s praise about my diligence was quite groundless. Before Kim In-woo came, I spent half the week sleeping, always sprawled out in bed.

While walking around the garden, we water the vegetable garden, harvest, and similarly water the fruit-bearing trees (I planted them for eating but Kim In-woo wouldn’t eat them, so I had to demonstrate first. Kim In-woo cried worrying if I would die, and only felt relieved after 48 hours passed.) and prune branches or pick fruits.

Before we knew it, the morning passed quickly.

We heat up the food the android brought and eat lunch. Sometimes we eat inside the house, but today we ate sitting on a large rock outside. Kim In-woo seemed hungry and ate more than usual.

Afternoons are sometimes spent reading books, playing games, or taking naps in the now-repaired house, or talking on the bench that replaced the unused hamster wheel, or playing simple ball games in the garden.

Since we moved around a lot yesterday, we decided to spend today quietly. Kim In-woo and I read books on the bench in front of the house. Kim In-woo likes novels, while I prefer books that teach me knowledge I couldn’t get from Kim In-woo.

Kim In-woo dozed off while reading. No wonder he had trouble getting up this morning, he must have been struggling with sleepiness.

Instead of continuing to read my book, I observed Kim In-woo’s face as he slept with his head on my lap. Time flew by as I watched Kim In-woo’s adorable face as he slept soundly.

When Kim In-woo woke up around five in the afternoon, he was startled and worried if my legs weren’t numb. Since I couldn’t tell him not to worry because my body’s stamina and structure were different from humans’, I just smiled.

Kim In-woo quite enthusiastically massaged my legs. While massaging, as he often does, he threw compliments like how hyung has such a good body, and how do you maintain this while eating and moving the same as me.

Since he seemed to be somewhat envious of me, I told him he was prettier. Kim In-woo yelled at me not to say weird things and pinched me with his ears turned bright red. I couldn’t understand why I got pinched.

Kim In-woo, making a fuss, told me to stay seated and prepared dinner by himself. Though it wasn’t particularly grand preparation, I was quite proud of Kim In-woo doing it alone. Since we had eaten lightly for lunch, we had a hearty dinner.

After dinner was individual time. That is, we decided that a few days ago. Since I couldn’t help with m*sturbation anymore. Wouldn’t he need time to take care of various urges?

At first Kim In-woo resisted but soon accepted it. Today, while I felt relieved that he naturally went somewhere else, somehow I didn’t like seeing his back as he turned away looking refreshed. These days such uncontrollable feelings keep popping up.

Since the additionally constructed cage was quite spacious, it was convenient because when Kim In-woo looked for me, I could naturally appear as if I had been hiding in a corner.

For several days, I too used this time productively. I would slip out of the cage to take care of things that needed to be done, or contact the annoying Ezel, or meet my doctor. Since I hadn’t had time lately being constantly with Kim In-woo, I took care of pending matters. I’m clearly retired but it’s tiring how many people seek me out.

Today I needed to contact Raseti after a long while. We used to communicate well but lately they haven’t been responding. I was going to order Raseti to eliminate some annoying ones but again today I couldn’t make contact.

Did they betray me? If so I should kill them, but I can’t leave my post either… I have no choice but to let them live for now. (Wow, really…)

***

December 29th, Cloudy ☁

Today I had nothing to do since I finished all pending work.

When evening came and Kim In-woo disappeared, I hid myself and followed him.

Kim In-woo, alone in his room, spent time leisurely rolling around just like when he’s with me. Nothing particularly different happened until the minute hand went around one and a half times. I happily observed Kim In-woo’s usual appearance.

And around when the minute hand made two rounds, Kim In-woo glanced at the time and left the room. I also left the room following Kim In-woo. Kim In-woo walked around the cage once where the artificial sun had set. He didn’t seem to be looking for me.

Kim In-woo, who had been walking quietly lost in thought, suddenly grabbed his head. Then he suddenly called out <Lee Sun-ho> while getting angry.

Did I do something wrong? Kim In-woo, who passed right by my frozen self, went into his room and slammed the door shut. I even heard the sound of him locking the door.

What’s going on? I was frozen in shock. I didn’t even dare think about peeking, so I walked around the garden in circles before going to Kim In-woo’s door.

From inside the room came faint moans. I worried for a while, but it seemed Kim In-woo was m*sturbating. That’s a relief.

Though I don’t know why he was angry at me… When I saw Kim In-woo’s face later at night, I couldn’t find any trace of anger so I felt relieved. There probably isn’t any big problem.

As night deepened, I fell asleep with Kim In-woo in one bed. Today he was a bit hesitant before sleeping, saying we should sleep separately, but when I insisted I couldn’t sleep alone, he eventually gave in. Though he complained <Hyung is really good at acting pitiful>, he didn’t seem to dislike it. Probably.

Unlike his initial resistance, now Kim In-woo was completely used to having me by his side. At first, Kim In-woo couldn’t fall asleep easily and kept tossing and turning, but now he fell asleep easily feeling secure in my arms.

Rather, sometimes when we sleep apart, Kim In-woo either can’t fall asleep, or even if he barely does, he has nightmares, so now we had no choice but to sleep together.

Today too, Kim In-woo fell asleep quickly.

The average sleep time for Arkeans is three to four hours. Since I didn’t need to sleep as much as Kim In-woo, I watched his sleeping face for a long time in the darkness.

Kim In-woo’s sleeping face was beautiful, like angels described in certain Earth religions.

Something feels strange so I’m recording while holding Kim In-woo. But even after listing and organizing, I couldn’t find words to explain this feeling.

I should just go to sleep.

***

January 10th, Snow ☃

Today it snowed rarely. Perhaps because it’s a backward planet without climate control facilities, it was quite an excessive amount of snow.

Since dirty things looked clean covered in white snow, I decided to show In-woo the outside using the fake <me> outside. However, to do that I needed to move Kim In-woo… Which meant I had to use the <me> outside.

I tried to avoid using the outside <me> as much as possible… Kim In-woo seems anxious even when the outside <me> doesn’t do anything, so I was planning to take him out occasionally to get him used to it.

As the outside <me>’s hands approached, Kim In-woo started trembling severely. With a face turned white like someone standing in cold snow, though anxious, he stands blocking the outside <me> as if to protect me. Seeing that made me feel very strange. Though my depression should be easing, my head hurt.

I hugged Kim In-woo. Though Kim In-woo has grown quite a bit lately, he’s still rather slim so he fits perfectly in my arms. Holding tight to Kim In-woo who was blinking his eyes, we entered the temporary house carried by outside <me>’s hands. And I comforted the surprised Kim In-woo, patting him reassuringly.

Kim In-woo hit me lightly, saying to let go. He also said since <I> seem to have no interest in me, if we’re separated <I>’ll touch him first. Kim In-woo was already crying as he said this.

I licked Kim In-woo’s tears. Kim In-woo, who had been dazed for a moment, was startled and hit me hard. Of course, it was just a ticklish hit. I hugged Kim In-woo tighter.

I said it’s okay, nothing will happen, if anything happens I’ll take it first, I’ll protect you.

Then Kim In-woo started crying more. As he kept trying to stop crying by holding his breath urgently, I temporarily removed the outside <me> pretending something happened. Only when <I> disappeared did Kim In-woo finally cry out loud. For quite a while.

After crying, Kim In-woo confessed in a trembling voice that I was the first person to say such things to him. Of course, I knew that well too. Because in Kim In-woo’s life, people around him only exploited him. Affection or sympathy was given only at the level of charity. Or it was groundwork for using Kim In-woo, or contained ulterior motives.

Only after hearing those words did I realize. What it means that humans are social animals. Why Kim In-woo wanted to share his past and hear <Lee Sun-ho>’s past.

Kim In-woo is different from me. Just being by his side like a friend isn’t enough to make him whole. He’s a creature that needs someone’s affection and understanding to live. How pitifully and lovably so…

I hugged Kim In-woo and whispered. That he’s precious, that he’s the only most precious person in this world, that I’ll stay with him no matter what happens…

They weren’t words just to comfort him. Everything was sincere. Kim In-woo cried, nodded, and finally fell asleep from exhaustion. I watched the snowy scenery outside while holding Kim In-woo.

Pure white snow settled on Kim In-woo’s cheeks. The scenery I had thought nothing special shone strangely white. It was the most beautiful scenery I’d seen in my life so far.