(Breakdown pt.4)

“Were you pretending to sleep?”

“No, no I wasn’t.”

Radel shook his head, startled by In-woo’s interrogation. His blue eyes came clearly into focus. It seemed he had finally come to his senses.

Radel tried to sit up but seemed unsure what to do because of In-woo straddling him, and lay back down. While letting him up would be the comfortable choice for everyone at this point, In-woo continued to pin Radel down.

If I let him go. Is he going to try to run away again?

As Raseti had said, Radel had simply allowed himself to be stabbed by In-woo. After being stabbed, if the android hadn’t appeared in time, he would have easily escaped through death.

Uncomfortable under the piercing gaze, Radel fidgeted before finally opening his trembling lips to explain.

“I’m sorry. I had no intention of waking up again, but I must have responded to your voice. Even when I’m unconscious, my ability still collects thoughts from around me…”

“…Are you saying you looked into my mind?”

“No, no. That’s not what I meant, I’m sorry… When I’m unconscious I can’t control my ability. I don’t dig into deep consciousness, I only read surface consciousness information. Of course, when I’m conscious I don’t do such things. Constantly receiving others’ consciousness is too noisy, and moreover, there’s no way I would look into your mind. How could I do that to you…”

“You never looked?”

In-woo cut off Radel’s uncharacteristically rambling words. Radel blinked again. His face looked quite innocent on the surface.

“Not even once?”

“…I did look, once…”

In-woo struck Radel’s cheek once more. Each time he hit, it only made In-woo’s hand hurt. The white face showed no change at all.

Radel grabbed In-woo’s hand as if asking him not to hit anymore. In-woo violently shook off Radel’s touch as if it were filthy.

“You were planning to never wake up?”

“Yes.”

“Why, did you think that’s what I would want?”

“No. Because I didn’t want to live being rejected by you…”

In-woo bit his lip. Saying “it’s for your sake” was Lee Sun-ho’s habit.

Because it’s for your sake, anything is fine. Saying that, Lee Sun-ho would prepare In-woo’s breakfast, clean, follow along with countless schedules, and adjust his entire life to Kim In-woo.

If he had said this time too that it was for Kim In-woo’s sake, he would have been truly angry. But he was just as angry at the man saying he would die of his own accord. Unburned anger boiled in In-woo’s mind.

“I’m sorry.”

Before In-woo could say anything, Radel apologized first.

“What are you sorry for?”

“Something, the situation seems bad… And Ezel messing with you too.”

“…”

“This isn’t me reading you now, I read the data from the androids here. I’m sorry. I should have properly sorted out the situation before dying.”

“…”

“I was short-sighted. Don’t worry. I’ll solve everything. You’ll be able to go back to normal without any problems. After I solve everything, I’ll get rid of both Ezel and Raseti from your sight…”

“You too?”

“…”

“Will you get rid of yourself too?”

Radel hesitated momentarily at the pointed question. In-woo’s eyes were filled with nothing but hostility toward Radel. Eyes that had been full of affection just days ago. Radel slowly nodded like someone who had given up everything.

“Yes.”

“What about Lee Sun-ho?”

“…”

This time, Radel truly looked at a loss for words.

Lee Sun-ho and Radel are the same person. Kim In-woo knows this fact too. But In-woo thoroughly separated the two.

In-woo grabbed Radel who couldn’t bring himself to answer.

“What are you going to do about Lee Sun-ho?”

“…In-woo, that’s…”

Radel’s movement stopped abruptly as he tried to make some rambling excuse. The eyes of Kim In-woo, which had been glaring at Radel as if to kill him just moments ago, now brimmed with sorrow. Affection that couldn’t be trampled even by his lover’s long-standing lies and betrayal bloomed, soaked with tears.

“Give me Sun-ho back.”

“…”

“Give Lee Sun-ho back…”

Deep affection.

And an equally clear rejection of that affection.

Radel closed his mouth, unable to say anything. To Kim In-woo, Radel and Lee Sun-ho could not be the same person. Radel could not return what In-woo wanted. Never.

Unless he manipulated the memories…

Radel reached out to In-woo. Though In-woo tried to avoid it with disgust, Radel simply ignored the resistance and placed his hand on In-woo’s cheek. As the hand large enough to cover his whole face cupped his cheek, unpleasant memories surfaced. In-woo pushed Radel away as if struggling.

“Get away!”

“In-woo.”

As Radel lowered his head, their noses lightly touched. From the extremely close distance, Radel whispered lowly.

“Kim In-woo.”

“…”

“I am Lee Sun-ho.”

Radel declared with an expressionless face, enunciating each syllable clearly. In-woo’s face twisted hideously.

“Who the…!”

Before In-woo could finish yelling, Radel’s lips covered his. In-woo’s eyes widened in shock. Before In-woo could even push him away, Radel pushed his tongue in.

Without hesitation, In-woo immediately bit down hard on Radel’s tongue. Radel flinched but far from retreating, he pushed even more persistently into In-woo. Radel’s tears flowed down their pressed cheeks, his blood in In-woo’s mouth. In-woo tried with all his might to push Radel away. But despite trembling hands, the man didn’t budge an inch.

It was horrible. As if Radel’s tears and trembling had infected him, In-woo’s body shook finely. In-woo finally gave up resisting and surrendered his body to the man.

After a long while, Radel finally pulled away from the ragged lips. Though Radel had licked away all the blood that had entered In-woo’s mouth, the metallic taste still lingered. Radel calmly swallowed the blood and advised In-woo.

“My blood is poison to humans.”

“…”

“You should rinse it out with water.”

“You crazy bastard… You know this and still do it?”

“I’m sorry…”

As if his earlier aggressive behavior had been a lie, Radel hung his head, thoroughly cowed. Fake bastard. In-woo glared at the much larger man’s crown while muttering curses under his breath.

He couldn’t understand what Radel was thinking. He was curious, but didn’t want to know. But he needed to know. He couldn’t just pull out and run away from this situation.

In-woo clenched his fist. Radel’s gaze, slightly raising his head, fell on the tightly clenched fist and nails digging into flesh. In that gaze, In-woo read familiar concern. Disgustingly so.

Though he didn’t want to follow Radel’s advice, he also didn’t want to keep Radel’s blood in his mouth. In-woo went straight to the bathroom and rinsed his mouth several times.

When he came out of the bathroom, Radel was already standing there properly dressed. He must have healed instantly as there was no trace of blood, looking completely fine. The clothes he wore weren’t the Arkean clothes In-woo often saw in the cage, but the style of suit Lee Sun-ho often wore. In-woo started to tell him to stop with this nonsense but held back.

“You said you’d solve everything.”

“Yes…”

“How are you going to solve it? Can you bring Lee Sun-ho back?”

No answer came. Of course not. Though he was being unreasonable, In-woo knew well from seeing with his own eyes that the Radel before him was Sun-ho. He was just throwing words out wanting to vent.

Just as he was about to tell him to stop acting high and mighty about things he couldn’t do and get lost quickly, Radel opened his mouth.