Act 1, Scene 2. The Catastrophe of Unrequited Love

As Ethan had warned, the journey to the north was quite tedious.

Hyacinth massaged around her eyes as the carriage swayed. Outside the window, the northern coniferous forests, a vast expanse of green, stretched out endlessly.

Indeed, it was the north.

Nodding, Hyacinth looked down at the white handkerchief she was holding. The Trisel crest was about halfway done.

It was an embarrassingly clumsy work.

Hyacinth blushed. She wasn’t terrible at embroidery, but since it was her first time stitching this design, it was bound to be crooked.

I need to get used to it quickly.

Determined, Hyacinth threaded the needle again. She might lack confidence in embroidery, but she was confident in her diligence. As she meticulously filled in the golden petals, the carriage jolted over a bump.

“Ouch.”

The needle pricked her finger.

A bright red droplet of blood welled up. Hyacinth sucked on her finger and glanced at her nanny across from her. Seina always became sensitive whenever Hyacinth got hurt.

Fortunately or unfortunately, the nanny was sound asleep.

At her middle age, the long carriage journey must have been exhausting. Her decision to follow Hyacinth was purely out of love.

I should listen to my nanny.

Hyacinth resolved to follow the advice she wouldn’t keep and re-gripped the needle. Her exertion caused the blood to well up again.

Red. Bright and vivid.

Like her hair. And then… like the blood her husband had shed.

Hyacinth quietly recalled their first night.

* * *

Hyacinth Hener was a modest lady.

She rarely troubled her nanny—excluding her childhood—and she managed her reputation well.

Thus, she had never encountered the s*xual world. Not even through hearsay.

She knew some gossip about noble youths frequenting pleasure districts, someone already having a mistress, and some couples sharing mistresses, but she didn’t know the details.

Right after the wedding. That is, the first night.

Hyacinth sat quietly on the bed, waiting for her husband. She wanted to drink some wine but feared getting completely drunk, so she refrained. Her nanny, Seina, had just left after lightly hinting that it would hurt.

‘Ah, it will hurt…? Why?’
‘The Duke will explain it to you.’
‘Okay.’
‘Ask him to be as gentle as possible.’
‘Oh, alright…’

But why would it hurt? Hyacinth pondered but couldn’t find an answer. Since the Duke, no, Ethan, said he would explain, she decided to wait.

I hope it doesn’t hurt too much.

Hyacinth hugged her knees tightly and buried her face.

Even though she wasn’t riding a horse, her heart and whole body felt like they were racing madly. She needed to calm down. Should she drink after all? Would it be too unsophisticated if she were too excited?

Hyacinth was so lost in thought that she didn’t hear someone entering. She only realized when a hand gently rested on her head and she looked up in surprise.

Ethan Erentis was right in front of her.

His gray eyes, darkened by the night, scrutinized every corner of her face. His head tilted at an angle, one corner of his mouth curving oddly.

Even a couple of buttons on his shirt were undone.

Hyacinth’s face turned bright red in an instant. The heat in her cheeks felt like it would cook her. Sensual. She never imagined she would fully understand that word by looking at her husband.

“Why, Hyacinth.”

The man asked languidly.

“Did you cry?”

“N-no. Why would I cry?”

“Of course, you didn’t. My wife must have been looking forward to tonight.”

“I, I…”

Hyacinth started to protest sulkily but then gasped and stopped. The words got caught in her throat.

Time had stopped.

Her husband had gently placed his index finger on her cheek. The warmth from his fingertip was frighteningly tender. Hyacinth almost wanted to tilt her cheek and bury her face into his hand.

But she was frozen, unable to act on her desire for fear that he might pull away again.

His fingertip moved slowly. After gently rubbing her cheek, Ethan raised an eyebrow. It was the very gesture that had turned Hyacinth Hener into Hyacinth Erentis.

With a dreamy gray gaze, the man continued to explore her face. From her cheek to her nose, then from her nose to her lips. He pressed her lower lip briefly and smiled faintly.

“Soft…”

Before Hyacinth could respond, his finger slid down her skin. From her jawline to the hair behind her ear, up to her earlobe.

Ethan began to play with her earlobe.

Is this the pain?

Hyacinth seriously pondered as her eyes darted around. The way he was pressing her earlobe was indeed uncomfortable and painful.

“Hyacinth.”

“…Yes.”

“Pretend to cry.”

“Uh… do I have to cry?”

“Then?”

Hyacinth imagined the man before her throwing hurtful words at her. Calling her a worthless woman, saying she was useless. But she failed.

Ethan Erentis wasn’t the type to say such things in earnest.

Hyacinth was certain. She might be criticized for being so sure despite not spending much time together. But Hyacinth was, nonetheless, certain.

Her husband might speak harshly, but he wasn’t truly a bad person. He was naturally kind, just occasionally mischievous.

In any case, Ethan now wanted her to cry.

Hyacinth tried to think of the saddest scenes and whimpered. Her acting must have been awkward because Ethan Erentis let out a dry laugh.

“You’re trying hard.”

“I don’t like crying.”

“…”

“I don’t like being caught crying… But I’m trying now.”

I hate looking weak when I cry. Hyacinth pouted. She wanted Ethan to understand that she was doing her best.

“Yes, a flower shouldn’t cry.”

“Are you drunk, Ethan?”

“Yes, I am.”

Perhaps because of the intoxication, the man seemed somewhat gentler. Hyacinth gathered the courage left in her heart and whispered.

“Please, don’t hurt me.”

“Hmm. Shall I?”

“I don’t know why it would hurt…”

“You don’t know?”

“Because I don’t know… I’ve lived modestly!”

“Good girl.”

Ethan chuckled and tousled her hair. He grabbed a handful of her red hair and tilted his head slightly. His gaze was tilted, almost as if he was observing her with a hint of disdain, though it could be misunderstood.

“You’re giving your first time, which you’ve kept so well, to me. What an honor.”

“Because you are my husband.”

“Yes. That’s right. It turned out that way.”

Ethan slowly released her hair. Then he gently pushed Hyacinth under the bedcovers.

Is it over?

If it’s just this, it doesn’t hurt… Hyacinth was naively pondering when she suddenly widened her eyes.

Her husband had pulled out a small dagger and pricked his fingertip with the tip. Blood dripped from the torn skin, red enough to fully wake her up.

Nanny, it’s not me who’s hurt!

Hyacinth resisted the urge to scream and frantically searched the drawer for a cloth. When she turned to stop the bleeding, Ethan was sucking his finger, looking down at her.

Hyacinth almost forgot the situation and became dazed.

Was it the flickering candlelight, or was it the man’s oddly rebellious aura? It felt like her soul was constantly swaying, not unlike a leaf hanging precariously from a branch.

Had someone hung her on a scale?

“…Ethan?”

When she cautiously called his name, the man’s gray eyes deepened endlessly. It looked like a sneer, so Hyacinth had to clutch the blanket tightly.

Was I too hasty?

I should have gotten permission first… But we are married now.

“What is it?”

“Well, I just thought… shouldn’t you come in too?”

Looking at the spot beside her, the man let out a breathy laugh. It sounded both mocking and crying, making him an incredibly difficult person to understand.

A man she couldn’t figure out. Now, he was the family she had to understand.

Not wanting to wither away as warned by her uncle, Arthur, and Caleb, Hyacinth resolved to melt him with all her might. After winter, spring always comes. She believed that even the man who resembled winter from the north could become spring.

“Yes. I’ll come in.”

The man answered slowly, got into bed beside her, and pulled the covers over them. Come to think of it, it was her first time sharing a bed with someone else. How strange.

Instead of trying to manage her wavering emotions, Hyacinth lay quietly and closed her eyes. She was relieved it didn’t hurt as much as she thought, and it was strange having Ethan beside her.

“Has the bleeding stopped?”

“Yes.”

“That’s a relief.”

She worried she might not be able to sleep due to discomfort, but sleep came quicker than expected. Hyacinth, who had fallen into a deep sleep, suddenly woke up at dawn. After blinking a couple of times, she realized she was alone.

At that time, Hyacinth didn’t feel any sense of unease.

She had always slept alone before. So she let the drowsiness lower her eyelids.

* * *