“What do you think, young lady?”
“…They shouldn’t forgive. It’s like being struck by lightning out of nowhere.”
“Then they shouldn’t forgive.”
“But, you see, the person who got hurt is pitiful. If they hadn’t been hurt, they wouldn’t have hurt someone else, right?”
One of the things gnawing at Hyacinth Hener’s heart.
The truth that if not for Bridget Erentis, Ethan Erentis would have been a most excellent person. Indeed. Regardless of guilt, Ethan Erentis was inherently good.
Even looking at his actions after Hyacinth threw herself out the window.
Many people stubbornly refuse to admit their sins, but he acknowledged his guilt from beginning to end and sought the path of atonement. Even though he wanted to die at every moment. Despite his burdensome life, he struggled, never letting go of the sense of guilt and the duty of atonement.
“Is that so?”
“Yes. If the person hadn’t been hurt, they wouldn’t have deliberately hurt someone else.”
Of course, the past of him making someone shed tears of blood doesn’t change.
“Then they should forgive.”
“What, nanny! That’s not the answer!”
“Is that so? What do you want to do, young lady?”
“…I don’t know either.”
Hyacinth answered grumpily, puffing out her cheeks and kicking her feet like a child.
She wanted to be considerate, but she feared that if she were, the pain she had endured in the past would be rendered meaningless. Yet, she also felt sorry for the man and didn’t want to be too harsh.
Before reversing time, Hyacinth Hener’s way of loving was somewhat one-sided.
A red-haired woman who did things her own way.
It must have been enough to dig deep into Ethan Erentis’s wounds.
In some ways, it was surprising that the man now didn’t care at all about her red hair. It meant that an extremely strong sense of guilt had overcome the long-standing hatred.
“What do you think you would have done, nanny?”
Just as Hyacinth looked at Seina, Seina also looked at Hyacinth.
The intuition of a caregiver. Seina knew exactly that Hyacinth’s decision would change based on her answer.
So she thought deeply. Surely, the wounded person would be Duke Trisel, Ethan Erentis, and the one hurt by Duke Trisel would be her precious and dear baby, Hyacinth Hener.
If she advised her not to forgive, Hyacinth would abandon Ethan Erentis and ignore him for the rest of her life. And Ethan Erentis, who liked Hyacinth, would live a life filled with unhappiness and curses.
Seina pondered again.
To her, her baby was the most precious. The fact that someone dared to hurt Hyacinth made her feel like she could run up and pull out all of Duke Trisel’s hair even now.
Such a person should never, ever, be happy.
So, normally, she would have advised never to forgive. Whether Hyacinth knew it or not, the real personality of Seina Ir, the nanny of Lady Laurel, was closer to being cruel and heartless…
“If you want to forgive, my lady.”
You must want to.
If she didn’t want to forgive, she wouldn’t be asking this question in the first place.
“Then do so.”
“That’s too textbook of an answer, nanny…”
“What is the reason you don’t want to forgive, my lady?”
“Because people might think I’m foolish if I do.”
“Who? What fool would dare?”
Seina asked softly. Hyacinth, who hadn’t thought about such a question, widened her eyes.
“Do whatever you want, my lady. You are worthy of it.”
“…”
“Who dares to criticize you?”
“…”
“Moreover, what you want to do is forgive. If someone decides to forgive another, those who are not victims should not dare to criticize. The decision to forgive or not to forgive the perpetrator is solely the dignified right of the victim.”
“…Nanny, you are truly wise.”
Hyacinth jumped off the chair and hugged her tightly. Seina smiled and kissed her on the red crown of her head.
“Is that so?”
“Yes.”
“…”
“Thank you for raising me. I’m so glad you are my nanny.”
Saying such things. It was worth to implicitly encourage her to forgive.
Seina laughed again. Strangely, she felt light-hearted. As if she had shaken off a long-held sense of debt. As if she had quietly returned a favor received somewhere, sometime.
The source of the emotion wasn’t important now. She wished for the happiness of her beloved baby.
* * *
While Ethan Erentis was bedridden, Benjamin and Caleb took care of the North in his stead with utmost diligence. Although they had come with the intention of having a great time, they ended up working, which made them sad, so they occasionally teased Hyacinth.
‘Our lovely Hyce, what kind of person is your ideal type?’
‘A man who listens to me well. It would be nice if he doesn’t argue.’
‘…Huh?’
‘If I tell him to do something! He should do as I say! It would be great if he lived to serve me!’
‘Brother, we raised her wrong. What are we going to do? What do we do about this?’
Although they were utterly defeated by Hyacinth’s sharp retort.
Every time, they would grumble and shed tears but would handle their tasks with astonishing efficiency the next morning. They released their stress in a very desirable direction.
Of course, such kindness was possible because Benjamin and Caleb secretly liked Ethan Erentis.
Hener was originally very affectionate but merciless to those he disliked.
Meanwhile, Ethan Erentis’s recovery was almost monstrous.
What would take an ordinary person at least two months, he managed to get up in one month. His attending physician assured that he was recovering smoothly and that once the pain was gone, he would be fully healed.
Duke Trisel moved diligently with a slight limp. First, he visited everyone who had shown him consideration, including the two princes, to thank them personally. After thoroughly checking the individual circumstances of the servants, the damage to Bremlin from the fire, the restoration work, and other matters…
He finally came to see Hyacinth.
“I would like to request a moment of the lady’s time.”
It was a request made with impeccable courtesy, to the point of feeling a definite sense of distance.
Hyacinth lifted her eyes slowly from her book.
At the end of her gaze stood the man who was once her love and later her resentment. He showed no sign of pain. Concealing one’s weaknesses and injuries was indeed a noble virtue.
“…Alright.”
“Thank you.”
“Shall we talk in the gazebo?”
At Hyacinth’s blatant teasing, Ethan Erentis nodded meekly.
“That sounds good.”
* * *
Although Hyacinth hurriedly tried to dissuade him, saying she wasn’t serious, Ethan, being the one receiving the consideration, insisted on moving to the gazebo. Saying he wanted to enjoy a walk after being cooped up for so long was quite a strong argument. Hyacinth couldn’t refute it, so the situation was resolved neatly.
By the time they arrived at the gazebo with slow and steady steps, Ethan’s face had paled slightly. Noticing the faint change, Hyacinth wanted to click her tongue. Why was he being so stubborn?
No, it was her fault.
If she hadn’t mentioned it, Ethan wouldn’t have insisted on moving here. She felt an unavoidable stir because of the man who accepted her whims entirely.
Hyacinth picked up a teacup to hide the bitter aftertaste. Fortunately or unfortunately, even the liquid that wet her throat was bitter.
“What do you want to talk about, Your Highness?”
“…I wish to apologize.”
The man meticulously listed his wrongdoings. Thus, Hyacinth did not bother to point out the absence of a subject. Instead, she narrowed her brows.
Why apologize now? What was the underlying motive? At this point, Hyacinth understood the quiet sadness underlying the man’s soul.
“Are you planning to die again?”
“…No. You wished for me to live, and I will comply. So, I have no intention of dying.”
“Is that so? That’s a relief.”
“When winter comes, it will be difficult for carriages to move.”
Hyacinth blinked slowly.
“Please tell me how I can atone to you. I will do as you say.”
“…”
“And then leave.”
She blinked again.
The glass walls of the gazebo isolated them from the world. A world for the two of them, a secluded space. The very place where she once kissed the man first with innocent excitement.
Ethan Erentis was saying goodbye to her.
“This place is too harsh and barren for you to stay. As I just swore, I have no intention of dying recklessly. I will live well on my own, so please leave without worry.”
“…”
“I am deeply grateful that you came into my life. Although I was only a misfortune to you…”
“…”
“I wish you happiness wherever and whenever you may be.”
It was a clean conclusion.
Acknowledging his sins, promising to atone, swearing not to die, and even wishing her well for the future.
Hyacinth stared blankly at the teacup in front of her and slowly nodded.
There are ties that should not be entangled.
There was such a tie, but in her past life, she recklessly tried to entangle it. So she broke, and the man broke, and now, after being broken and ruined, they somehow revived and faced each other.
‘And then leave.’
It was the right decision. It is said that those who carry wounds are wiser, and Ethan Erentis’s decision was indeed wise.
Parting this way was the best. Even if, by some chance, they met again in society, they would part with a faint smile. A relationship like that could be the best… it seemed the best…
“You.”
Hyacinth stared at the man’s silver hair.
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LumpySpacePrincess
“If someone decides to forgive another, those who are not victims should not dare to criticize. The decision to forgive or not to forgive the perpetrator is solely the dignified right of the victim.”
What a loaded quote from the nanny.