Shhhhhh.

He turned the sink faucet to its highest setting. He looked at his face under the light.

“I feel like there was definitely something I needed to remember….”

Ju-eon ruffled his hair as he pondered, but the buried memory showed no signs of surfacing. He felt slightly self-loathing at how easily he was shaken by a mere dream, but the realm of dreams wasn’t something he could control with his will.

Ju-eon tried hard to recall the dream. What was he so desperately trying to remember? The more intently he thought about it, only that night with that man came to mind.

Ironically after all his worrying about s*xual identity, he had been completely attracted to that man.

The only problem was….

“Is it Yun-jae?”

The problem was that he couldn’t imagine the person in his dream being Yun-jae. Ju-eon tilted his head. Their heights seemed similar but their body types felt completely different. While Yun-jae’s body wasn’t bad, he was ultimately a researcher. He had a nice body with moderate muscle from essential exercise, but. It was a bit different.

The man in the dream had more functional muscle. As if he used his body a lot normally, all unnecessary parts seemed stripped away, leaving densely packed muscle.

‘Like that man from then.’

Ju-eon startled at where his thoughts had wandered again. He figured he should hurry and shower to head out. Though he’d showered before bed, his body felt uncomfortable being drenched in sweat all night.

Shhhhhh.

Under the water, Ju-eon couldn’t bring himself to look down and had to stand under the cold water for quite a while.

‘Having to cool off with cold water because I might be late for my part-time job.’

How laughable those past days were when he’d worried about having no s*x drive.

**

In exchange for Gu-young covering his shift before, this time Ju-eon was covering for Gu-young for a few days. Gu-young had even added an explanation about having an urgent matter, so Ju-eon had readily agreed.

“One iced sweet potato latte and one iced americano here.”

“Gu-young!”

“One is for you, hyung. Are you busy right now?”

Gu-young, who didn’t have work today, stopped by the cafe as a customer.

“Coming right when you know it’s slow.”

“You caught me.”

“Sit down. I’ll make them and bring them over.”

Since it happened to be quiet with all customers having left, Ju-eon quickly made the drinks and sat down next to Gu-young.

Though Gu-young knew about when Ju-eon had disappeared after going to meet Yun-jae before, since Ju-eon didn’t bring it up first, he didn’t say a single word about it.

Gu-young was comfortable because he didn’t ask unnecessary questions. Still, thinking he should give at least a minimal explanation, Ju-eon carefully chose his words.

“Thanks for before. I don’t think I properly said it.”

“I’m not planning to dig into things you don’t want to talk about, hyung.”

“For someone saying that, you called quite a lot.”

When Ju-eon spoke in a light voice, Gu-young hugged his arms as if embarrassed.

“That’s partly because I got involved in the middle, and partly because I was worried when you suddenly weren’t answering.”

“I see.”

“Did things work out with your boyfriend?”

Gu-young took a long drink, saying he’d been more than a little scared when Yun-jae came to the cafe looking ready to kill someone.

“I’m not sure.”

Gu-young tactfully noticed that while going there had been a big deal for Ju-eon, it certainly hadn’t been a positive thing for their relationship, so he didn’t press further.

Ju-eon thought about their relationship. On the surface, it seemed no different than before. Though only a few days had passed, after confirming in the regular checkup that Ju-eon’s memories hadn’t fully returned, Yun-jae had told him about his past.

‘It’s true you were a guide, but if you’re asking whether you can work as a guide again, I’m against it.’

‘Why?’

‘We still don’t know exactly what mechanism guides use to guide espers. It could negatively affect artificial organs….’

‘But there’s no risk of relapse now, right? Should I just do part-time jobs my whole life?’

‘Considering your grade, that might be better.’

‘……’

His opinions were generally negative. Though Yun-jae clearly wanted to say so, he kept his mouth shut knowing it would only lead to a fight. Most of their conversations went like this.

‘You could look for other work.’

As if indirectly saying he wanted to forget his loss of composure that day, Yun-jae comforted Ju-eon by being an even more perfect boyfriend than usual.

Yun-jae still kept his distance as Ju-eon wanted. But Yun-jae wanted something in return. Since he gave Ju-eon the space he wanted, it was clear he hoped Ju-eon would somewhat conform to his boundaries in return.

“Ju-won hyung?”

Gu-young’s call snapped him out of his thoughts.

“Sorry. I was lost in thought with someone right in front of me.”

Ju-eon apologized with an awkward face. Gu-young naturally changed the subject.

“It’s fine, by the way did I tell you why I took time off?”

“No? Did something happen?”

At Ju-eon’s worried question, Gu-young puffed out his chest proudly. The reason he specifically came today when he had work was to brag.

“You’ll be shocked when you hear, hyung.”

“What is it?”

Ju-eon tilted his head at Gu-young’s uncharacteristic build-up. Gu-young’s cheeks were slightly flushed.

“I awakened as an esper?”

“An esper?”

Ju-eon examined Gu-young anew with a dazed expression. Though awakening as an esper wouldn’t suddenly change his face, Ju-eon was so startled he stared intently at Gu-young’s face.

“I’m only C-class though.”

Soon Gu-young relaxed his shoulders and smiled sheepishly. Seeming embarrassed by Ju-eon’s gaze, he scratched his cheek and avoided eye contact. Only then did Ju-eon hurriedly withdraw his staring.

“So you’ll be working as an esper now?”

“Yeah.”

“Where? Earth 1?”

“No. Earth 2. Even C-class gets decent treatment in Earth 2.”

“That’s too bad.”

“Yeah, working part-time with you was fun.”

“When are you quitting? Guess we won’t see each other often anymore.”

“We’ll probably see each other a lot?”

Gu-young laughed, saying as the breadwinner he couldn’t just be stuck in a training center – what would his family do? Though he seemed regretful, he didn’t look like he’d change his mind.

“Don’t you have to train for a long time?”

Though he wasn’t sure how he knew this fact, the question came out naturally.

“If you’re registered as a breadwinner and join a government subcontractor instead of headquarters, they say you can do less training.”

Still, he said the basic training period was half a year.

“Really?”

“If my grade was really high it might be worth trying at the training center… but. This is enough.”

Gu-young spoke in a decisive voice. Though he seemed bittersweet, he also looked relieved. He appeared more at ease now that he didn’t have to worry about his future.

“I had no idea.”

“It’s a loophole. The place I’m joining made a lot of accommodations for me.”

Since this was their first conversation of this kind, Gu-young’s news was very sudden to Ju-eon.

“I see.”

Ju-eon glanced out the window. Everyone was walking busily toward somewhere. It felt like everyone else was moving forward while only he remained stagnant.

“So don’t treat me like such a kid anymore.”

Gu-young said while rubbing the back of his head. Though his voice was awkward, it didn’t waver at all, as if he’d thought about this for a long time.

Why had he thought that? Though he hadn’t treated him like a child, even if he had, he thought Gu-young wouldn’t have minded. Among people Ju-eon knew, Gu-young was the most centered and solid person.

“How could I see you as a kid when you’ve listened to so many of my worries?”

“Then that’s settled.”

“If anything, I feel bad that I’ve told you lots of my worries but don’t know any of yours.”

Ju-eon laughed playfully. But seeming concerned about this part, this time Gu-young hurriedly explained.

“I deliberately didn’t talk about it. It would’ve been awkward if I went around talking about it and it didn’t work out….”

“Still feels a bit disappointing.”

“You didn’t seem particularly interested either.”

“Still, if you’d given me some hint I wouldn’t have been so surprised.”

“Hyung. Are you mad?”

“No. Congratulations. I’m really surprised.”

At Ju-eon’s congratulations, Gu-young spoke to him in a slightly embarrassed, mischievous voice.

“You don’t look surprised at all though?”

“I was plenty surprised, okay?”

Ju-eon took a long sip of coffee to calm his heart. He really was surprised. Perhaps because he’d just learned about his own past as a guide, he felt happy for him too.

He considered telling Gu-young that some of his memories had returned, but he didn’t want to change the topic to himself during Gu-young’s moment of joy.

“When does training start?”

“Not sure yet. I’m looking into whether I can train with the Earth 1 side.”

“Why?”

“Well the training quality is different to start with. If I’m going for a short time, I should learn properly.”

Though Gu-young was compromising with reality, he hadn’t completely given up on himself either. While his motivation was good, it made Ju-eon needlessly worried.

“Wouldn’t it be better to just train here?”

“Why? That’s not like you to say.”

“…Dangerous things could suddenly happen.”

“That hardly ever happens… Is this because of the news recently? But how do you know about that? You don’t have a TV at home, right?”

Seeming to wonder how he knew it was dangerous when he was so out of touch, when Gu-young pressed him, Ju-eon spoke straightforwardly as if he had no intention of hiding it.

“When I went to Earth 1, there was a dungeon break and I saw monsters right in front of me.”

“You were at the dungeon break? I thought you went to the last stop.”

And suddenly he remembered the name people had been calling out in unison when he was in Earth 1.