“Yun-jae.”

Ju-eon bowed his head deeply. No matter how carefully he chose his words, this conversation topic would inevitably hurt Yun-jae’s feelings. At Ju-eon’s call, Yun-jae finally noticed something was off and put down his glass.

“Let’s talk after we eat.”

“I… think I’ll quit my part-time job.”

Yun-jae furrowed his brows at this unexpected turn in conversation. It wasn’t something to be greatly surprised or upset about.

“Why suddenly quit the part-time job?”

“I should look for a proper job too.”

“If it’s about money… don’t.”

Though Ju-eon didn’t know, the café where he worked was bought by Yun-jae. He had changed the ownership name not wanting to make Ju-eon uncomfortable, but he planned to transfer the café’s ownership to Ju-eon once he got used to receiving things.

“So I’m supposed to mooch off you forever? Even parents and children cut ties these days when things go wrong.”

“That won’t happen.”

“……”

“Even if it did, do you think I’d just throw you out?”

At Yun-jae’s words, Ju-eon pressed his forehead.

“This whole conversation is strange. Yun-jae.”

The more they talked, the more his guilt subsided, and slowly different emotions began to boil up instead.

This wasn’t the first time they’d had such a conversation. Yun-jae knew too. He knew that Ju-eon felt indebted and guilty towards him.

He knew but ignored it. Rather than ignoring, it would be more accurate to say he waited quietly for Ju-eon to tire of his guilt and fall away until Yun-jae got the result he wanted.

“Ju-eon. You’re acting a bit strange.”

“I’m not acting strange, I’ve just come to my senses.”

Yun-jae sighed. Back when he tried to go to District 1 to see him, when he remembered he was a guide, he should have been more careful. It was a mistake not taking any action for fear that Ju-eon might recover more memories if he acted rashly.

“You’ve been sick all this time.”

“Yes. Let’s say that’s true. But I’m not anymore.”

Ju-eon had been declared fully recovered. Though there were precautions to take, there was no problem with daily activities. Yun-jae was concerned about Ju-eon’s resolute attitude that was different from before. The usually diligent Ju-eon wouldn’t quit his job without good reason.

“…Do you have something in mind?”

“My previous job.”

“……”

“I want to try being a guide again.”

“No.”

Ju-eon’s eyes widened at Yun-jae’s forceful answer. What reason could there be for such a vehement refusal?

“I’m not asking for your permission to quit, I’m telling you my decision.”

“Ju-eon. Hah… let’s not do this.”

Yun-jae sighed deeply and reached out to hold Ju-eon’s hand. His large hand covered Ju-eon’s. Ju-eon saw his own face reflected in Yun-jae’s pleading gaze. He had felt sorry for losing his memories, grateful that Yun-jae took responsibility for him when he had no one.

“What do you mean ‘not do this’?”

“I’m saying this all for your sake.”

“……”

“I always think of you.”

“……”

“So no.”

He was grateful. He knew it was something to be incredibly grateful for. That’s why he had lived as Yun-jae wanted until now. Yun-jae said Ju-eon had changed, but he hadn’t changed. He had simply realized. Realized that he had never given Yun-jae the right to dictate his future.

“Why?”

“…We need to monitor your progress more.”

These words he just spoke were his true feelings that had been suppressed until now. So he couldn’t let these thoughts be dismissed.

“Until when?”

“……”

“We’ve already monitored for a year. The clinical trials were successful. People with artificial organs are all living normal lives.”

Ju-eon was uncharacteristically agitated. Rationally, he knew it would be better to calm down and talk quietly, but once emotions were heated, they weren’t easily calmed.

Yun-jae was also at a loss for words. Just then, the food arrived. Steam was rising from the freshly served dishes. But neither felt like eating at all. The thought briefly crossed his mind that maybe they should have talked after eating.

‘That would have just made me sick to my stomach.’

He knew it would be right to conclude this fight for now and talk again after calming down, since this one fight wouldn’t end everything.

“Don’t you have anything to tell me?”

“Anything to tell?”

“Something you seem to be hiding.”

“…No.”

Ju-eon drank cold water. As the cold water flowed down his throat, his mind cleared from the heated emotions.

“I already got my guide grade assessment, Yun-jae.”

“What?”

“It’s A-class.”

Yun-jae groaned and squeezed his eyes shut. His face was as blank as someone facing the end of the world.

“So you went and got assessed all by yourself, made all the decisions, and came to tell me?”

“…Yun-jae.”

“Hah… this situation is really f*cked up.”

“It’s just one assessment, why are you acting like this?”

“Just an assessment? If it was just that to you, you could have not taken it as I asked.”

“Why shouldn’t I take it? Is it related to my past?”

“……”

“I want to know. What kind of person I was.”

If Yun-jae was hiding something, he wanted to hear it. He wasn’t asking him to reveal secrets unrelated to him, but to tell him about matters that concerned him.

“Fine. So….”

“You still have nothing to tell me?”

“Does it matter what I say? Now that it’s come to this?”

Despair briefly crossed Yun-jae’s face as he shot back aggressively. If he wouldn’t tell the reason, Ju-eon couldn’t know. All Ju-eon could know was what he had experienced and seen himself. He had tried to understand Yun-jae but found it impossible.

Even his words of concern were now hard to believe.

“I thought you’d at least apologize for deceiving me.”

“……”

The rising emotions didn’t subside but rippled more intensely inside Ju-eon.

“Let’s take some time apart.”

Even with a clear mind, he absolutely didn’t want to resolve things with Yun-jae and go home together.

At Ju-eon’s words, Yun-jae froze, unable to say anything. Unable to face Yun-jae’s deeply shocked expression, Ju-eon wiped his face with his hand. He hadn’t wanted to hurt him.

“Ju-eon.”

Yun-jae’s face had turned corpse-pale. Ju-eon reflexively reached out his hand, but it stopped mid-air before reaching its destination.

“…I’ll repay your kindness somehow.”

Ju-eon grabbed his coat and fled the place. Would their relationship change if they stood on equal ground? A strained voice called from behind, but Ju-eon didn’t look back.

He felt like he was losing his mind. Everything started because of that man. The man who stood silently in the brilliant night. When he was swept into that man’s embrace, everything changed completely.

“Hic… ugh….”

Tears fell ungracefully. The emotions he could never feel for his long-time lover who protected him welled up just thinking about that man.

Thwack-!

His wrist was grabbed forcefully and his body was forcibly turned around. Having followed him, Yun-jae hadn’t even put on his jacket as he ran through the night streets.

“Are you saying we should break up?”

“…I said let’s talk later.”

When Ju-eon avoided answering, Yun-jae threw his head back and let out a hollow laugh. Kang Yun-jae had made efforts unlike himself, to the point of looking pathetic, to have Ju-eon. Constantly bowing his head to Yeo Ji-woong, not keeping his achievements to himself. It was all for Ju-eon.

The thought that even Ju-eon, who stood at a new starting line after losing his memories, would reject him made him feel like his mind would blow a fuse.

“Repay my kindness? Ju-eon. Do you think I kept you by my side to be repaid?”

They hadn’t even gotten to do proper couple things together. He hadn’t dared to dream of it. He just thought it would be nice if he could occupy even one space in Ju-eon’s life, like sleeves getting wet in drizzling rain. After all, it wasn’t his place anyway.

But if it was going to end like this anyway, he wouldn’t have hesitated until now.

Whoosh!

Yun-jae tightened his grip on Ju-eon’s wrist and pulled him forward. Ju-eon was helplessly pulled along by Yun-jae’s sudden action.

Tsk, tsk.

Hot lips suddenly locked together. Ju-eon’s eyes widened. His lower lip was bitten hard enough to hurt.

“Ugh.”

There was a metallic taste in his mouth, perhaps from their lips colliding too hard.

Thud.

Coming to his senses belatedly, Ju-eon pushed hard against Yun-jae’s chest. Yun-jae, seemingly not intending to do more, let himself be pushed away. Wiping his saliva-wet lips with the back of his hand, Ju-eon showed his hostility toward Yun-jae without hiding it.

“What do you think you’re doing?”

“Something that can happen between lovers.”

Yun-jae answered while licking the saliva, whose it was unclear, with his red tongue.

“Kang Yun-jae!”

When Ju-eon called Yun-jae’s name like a scream, Yun-jae muttered. The nearby sign lit up. Perhaps because of the red sign, Yun-jae’s eyes looked slightly red.

“You don’t know what I gave up for you…”

“What did you give up?”

Ju-eon hesitated. This wasn’t just about coming down to District 2 and becoming his attending physician. The nuance of his words contained something deeper.

“If you don’t tell me what you gave up, I won’t know.”

“Ju-eon. Let’s just go back to how we were before.”

Though he wanted to bare his true feelings right then, Yun-jae once again returned to square one.

“I won’t be coming home for a while.”

Though he had nowhere to go, he couldn’t return to that house with such thick skin. They had come too far to pretend nothing happened.

“No. You go home. It’s cold. You’ll catch a cold.”

Yun-jae also knew that Ju-eon had nowhere to go.

“…Yun-jae.”

“I’m not saying let’s go together. I’ll stay away. I have a room at the research institute, I can stay there.”

“……”

“…Let’s talk later.”

This time it was Yun-jae who left first. Ju-eon couldn’t move from his spot for a long time, watching until Yun-jae’s back disappeared.

Though he hadn’t eaten a single bite of dinner, his stomach felt terribly upset as if he had indigestion.