Chapter 16. Pity and Contempt

My hand, which was touching the fabric, froze.

The one Iris was discussing marriage with was none other than Enoch Bayern…

Actually… it wasn’t that surprising.

The problem was how my heart reacted excessively to the news.

Unable to control my wildly beating heart, I bit my lip. Pressing my hand against my chest, hoping it would calm down, but it showed no signs of doing so.

“Grand Duke Bayern! Is that true?”

“Shh, it’s still a secret. We’ll announce it soon…”

“Anyway, congratulations are in order. Oh my, Helene’s friend becoming a Grand Duchess…”

My stepmother seemed very jealous of Iris’s fortune, but more than that, she seemed eager to make a good impression on Iris for future benefits. Truly, she was someone who knew how to secure her interests.

“I always thought you would find a great husband since you are one of the country’s top beauties, Iris.”

“Such flattery.”

“…Helene must find a suitable match to not be ashamed as your friend…”

Understanding my stepmother’s subtle probing, Iris let out a nasal laugh.

Though Helene was classified as Iris’s friend, in reality, she was more like a maid, but Iris did care for Helene in her way. Perhaps that’s why Iris seemed to have some thoughts about finding a match for Helene.

“We’re planning to hold a party at the Philoan Marquisate soon. How about attending, Baroness? Since Helene is a friend I cherish, I’ll speak well of her to my father.”

Interpreting Iris’s words, she was suggesting that my stepmother attend the party and discuss the matter with Marquis Philoan, hinting that she might help find a match for Helene.

Helene would likely attend the party too, and if she caught the Marquis’s eye, he might find her a suitable match.

For my stepmother, it was like a golden opportunity falling into her lap.

Even if she couldn’t afford a dowry, a young lady endorsed by the powerful Marquis Philoan would attract quite a few eligible bachelors.

“Oh my! Really? I’m so grateful…”

“It’s nothing. I have my reasons too. If I become the Grand Duchess, Helene should stand by my side as my friend.”

“Of course, of course,”

After a few more exchanges, Iris left the dress shop, and I was dragged around by my stepmother, feeling low, to choose fabrics and dress designs.

Iris marrying Grand Duke Bayern.

Though it hadn’t been publicly announced yet, they would be engaged first… Considering the conversation I overheard on the balcony at the spring ball, it would proceed quickly. King Henry seemed determined to marry off the Grand Duke.

‘…It has nothing to do with me, anyway.’

I knew from the start. The gap between him and me is vast. Like the distance between heaven and earth. …He was always someone on a parallel line with me.

‘Besides, that man…’

Didn’t he make me miserable with that habitual indifference? He even asked me to become his mistress.

‘My plaything.’
‘…….’
‘In other words… should I say mistress?’

When he made that proposal, it didn’t seem like he felt any desire for me, and even less so any affection.

If I had to compare, it was like a mischievous child eyeing a new toy.

I had no intention whatsoever of becoming his mistress, but his attitude made me want to distance myself from him even more.

I felt that if I recklessly took the hand he extended, I would be thoroughly broken to the point where I couldn’t even stand up on my own.

He is beautiful, but that beauty is intertwined with cruelty, his kindness is laced with arrogance, and his nature, which doesn’t consider others’ feelings, is utterly ruthless.

That’s my impression of that man.

It might not be bad to be business partners or friends with him, but as a mistress or lover… that’s out of the question.

Because he would inevitably destroy the toy in his hand someday.

After spending about 15 minutes choosing fabrics and dress designs, my stepmother led me back to the bustling street, saying we now needed to pick out shoes and jewelry.

I felt uneasy the entire time, so I just numbly followed my stepmother’s lead. To be honest… shoes were one thing, but matching jewelry would require a considerable amount of money, and I found it strange. Did my mother leave that much money?

‘Something feels off.’

After choosing the shoes, we finally stopped by a jewelry store, and I watched my stepmother busily browsing with suspicion.

Though I didn’t know much, I felt I should ask Father about this matter at least once.

“Hey, Ellen. How about these?”

The moment I saw the deep golden topaz earrings my stepmother brought over, I couldn’t help but think of the eyes that resembled them, and then quickly brushed off the thought.

How foolish. Why do I think of that man even at a time like this?

“…I think the pearls we saw earlier would be better.”

“Really? Pearls can make you look older… Well, this deep gold color doesn’t suit you anyway.”

Doesn’t suit you.

The echo of those words felt oddly bitter.

As we were about to leave the jewelry store after finishing the payment, I coincidentally ran into Iris again.

Since I was quite uncomfortable with her, I hurriedly greeted her and tried to leave the place. If only Iris hadn’t suddenly grabbed me.

“Wait a moment, Ellen.”

She glanced over my shoulder at my stepmother, asked for her understanding, and then led me to a display of blue jewels.

Because she uncharacteristically linked arms with me, I had no choice but to follow her in a daze.

“Lapis lazuli is known to bring good fortune. Its value is higher because it’s used as a pigment for blue paint, and in ancient times, people often compared lapis lazuli to the universe.”

Iris, as if she had eaten something wrong, chose a bracelet and personally put it on my wrist. It was a bracelet with eight thumb-sized lapis lazuli stones naturally arranged along a gold chain.

“I hope you find a good match, Ellen. It would be much better for you to get married and leave that household.”

“…”

Despite her gaze filled with sympathy, I didn’t feel thankful at all.

How wretched thin sympathy can make a person feel… The young lady of a Marquis family, who grew up cherished, would never know.

***

The lapis lazuli bracelet that Iris gave me was stuffed into a drawer still in its box. It will probably never see the light of day.

I had long guessed why Iris felt both contempt and pity for me, so it wasn’t new. I had even less reason to be grateful for her kindness. Although I did say thank you out of courtesy when I received the bracelet.

Iris was a person with a strong sense of self-love. In other words, a narcissist. Even when she gave me the lapis lazuli bracelet, her expression showed a sense of satisfaction. Though she was the daughter of a powerful family who grew up without lacking anything, she felt proud of herself for not ignoring the pitiful and lowly.

Iris would probably live her whole life like that, even as the Grand Duchess. Looking down on the wretched of the world, she would try to care for them benevolently, like a saint. While secretly despising their poverty and filth.

“Ellen, you haven’t forgotten that you need to wake up early tomorrow, right? Since you lack the basics, you need to relearn everything from the beginning.”

As I was getting ready for bed and lying down, I heard my stepmother’s nagging through the door. She planned to make me quickly relearn social etiquette from early tomorrow morning and then take me to a party in the afternoon.

I was tired and didn’t want to argue with my stepmother anymore, so I obediently replied.

“Yes, Mother.”

“Good, then go to sleep.”

After her footsteps faded away and I could no longer hear them, I stared at the lamp’s light, which I hadn’t turned off yet, and then approached the wardrobe.

At the bottom of the wardrobe, hidden away, was that item. It had been so many years since I last took it out that the metal parts might have rusted.

“Ah, found it…”

After finding it among the pile of old clothes, I sighed deeply and pulled my upper body out of the wardrobe.

The antique jewelry box in my hands gleamed faintly in the lamp’s light.

The metal decorations were made of silver, and it was strange that they hadn’t tarnished despite being neglected for so long.

‘I wonder what’s inside this jewelry box.’

The more I thought about it, the harder it was to believe that my birth mother had left me money. Perhaps the real inheritance my mother left me was inside this box.

If my mother left me something, it wouldn’t be for my sake but for her own.

I thought about what happened this evening. When I asked Father about my mother’s inheritance, he answered somewhat irritably, saying, ‘Your stepmother will take care of everything.’

Something felt fishy. My stepmother’s intentions, my father’s indifferent attitude…

‘…Well, I’ll find out soon enough.’

And so, the next day.

“Baroness Margot Lopez and Lady Ellenore Lopez have arrived!”

I was prettily packaged and thrown into the social scene as a new commodity.