CHAPTER 5: WHY NOW, OF ALL TIMES?
Richt wrapped his arms around Isabelle’s slender body and buried his nose in the nape of her neck. As he inhaled her scent, he also smelled the remnants of their affair from the previous night. The passionate and seductive smell was pleasing to him, the marks left by burying his c*ck inside her.
He wanted to confirm that Isabelle belonged to him and no one else. He pushed her away with his words, but during s*x, he held onto her fiercely and felt her wetness.
He wanted to fill her mind with only him. If that was impossible, he wanted to cum in her private parts with his seed until his twisted heart was satisfied.
Yesterday evening, the image of Isabelle and Eden embracing each other lingered in his mind. She was crying in Eden’s arms. He couldn’t bear the thought of his wife having a secret affair with another man.
Damn it! Why Eden Ross? I am his husband.
To get rid of that Eden’s damn embrace, he f*cked, and pounded inside Isabelle all night long. Although he could see that she was struggling, he didn’t show any mercy.
If she wasn’t his wife, he wouldn’t have cared about her at all. It was more than just wounded pride; it was a feeling of humiliation that was inadequate to be described as a blow to his ego. To feel such a sense of defeat from a mere viscount.
When Richt realized that Eden was looking out the window in the garden, he wanted to show him they were making love, with Isabelle dripping with his cum. He wanted to make it clear that Isabelle was his wife, and that Eden could never have her for himself.
Richt thrust into Isabelle fiercely, and when he ej*culated for the last time, he felt a mixture of intense ecstasy and relief from his unpleasant feelings. It was a pathetic sense of satisfaction.
As his possessiveness stirred in him, his arms tightened around her. Isabelle, who had been sound asleep, stirred, grimacing in discomfort. He relaxed his grip on her and she fell back to sleep. It was a face so peaceful, yet so desirable.
He didn’t want anyone to see it. If possible, he wanted to keep her locked up in a secluded place where no one could see her. Away from Eden Ross.
Richt stared at his wife’s face for a while before kissing her forehead and getting up from the bed. He didn’t forget to pull the covers over her before leaving the bed.
His work in Panador would soon be wrapped up, then he couldn’t stay here in Dranselle any longer. He had to go back to the capital to take care of his main business.
He wanted to take Isabelle with him, but she didn’t seem like she would follow him willingly. And he couldn’t just sit around and watch Viscount Ross stay here too. He had to make him leave on his own.
As Richt stepped outside, Fabian, his servant, was already waiting for him. As they walked towards the waiting carriage, Richt saw an unpleasant figure in his sight. It was Eden with an angry expression on his face.
The muscles in Richt’s expressionless face stiffened sharply. He stopped in his tracks, stood still, and stared at Eden. They stared at each other wordlessly, their gazes sharp.
It was Eden who made the first move. He advanced without hesitation and suddenly threw a punch. Caught off guard, Richt fell to the ground as he was hit. Fabian stepped forward in surprise, but Richt held up a hand to stop him.
“Don’t interfere.”
Fabian calmly stepped back. Richt’s jaw twitched and stiffened from the sudden impact, and he could taste the bitter taste of blood in the back of his mouth.
Eden glared down at him; his eyes fierce. Richt knew why he did that, but he had no right to act that way. Richt felt dirty, like a man covered in filth.
Regaining his composure and standing up, Richt immediately punched Eden in the face. The force was much stronger than Eden’s outstretched fist. This time, Eden crumpled to the ground. When he tried to get up, Richt kicked him in the chest and he fell backward again. A groan escaped from Eden’s mouth.
Eden had been a member of the Imperial Knights before he was made a Viscount. Despite having a well-built body from years of experience, Richt was larger and sturdier. Moreover, Eden, unable to control his emotions, swung his fist wildly, while Richt precisely targeted the vital points.
Richt wiped the blood from his lip with his thumb and looked down at the fallen Eden.
“What’s the meaning of this, Viscount Ross!”
“Why did you do that yesterday?”
“What do you mean?”
“You’re really asking that, pretending you don’t know what I’m talking about?”
Why? Because you, bastard, dared to gaze at Isabelle recklessly.
However, Richt didn’t add a polite explanation. Judging by Eden’s deadly glare, Richt had seen enough. He sighed inwardly but kept his face expressionless and brushed the dirt off his clothes.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“You purposely showed it to me!”
“Is it a sin to make love to your wife in our room?”
“I didn’t realize that the Duke Calitheon was such a prude man.”
“I don’t think you have the right to speak. You, who secretly adores someone else’s wife and peeps out of their windows. The way you’ve been hovering around Isabelle, looking at her wistfully, is quite inappropriate. Did you think I wouldn’t notice?”
“Just for that reason… Are you not sorry to Isabelle?”
“Let’s get rid of hypocrisy. If Isabelle says she wants a divorce with me, it would have been an opportunity for you, wouldn’t it? That’s why you insist on staying here.”
“That’s an excessive assumption. I have no such intentions at all.”
Eden may not have admitted it, but Richt knew it well. He didn’t know about Isabelle, but it was clear that Eden, at least, had other ideas.
Because on the day he and Isabelle were married, amid people sending their blessings, only Eden had a poignant gaze, like a pitiful man. And even now, it is the same. It was an instinctual feeling only males could sense.
“You are so unscrupulous, aren’t you? Did you think I’d fall for that lie?”
“What are you so afraid of, that you don’t trust Isabelle to keep being by your side unless it’s by force?”
Eden struck a nerve. It was the truth. Richt feared Isabelle might leave him. If this was the only way to keep her, he was determined to be forceful, even if it meant behaving worse than an animal.
Richt was originally that kind of person. It was a nature he had once tried to hide, but now that Isabelle knew, there was no turning back.
“She’s my wife, no matter what anyone says, that’s not going to change. What happened yesterday is a warning to you, so don’t get your hopes up. Your wishes will never be fulfilled!”
“It’s funny how the renowned Duke Calitheon is nothing more than this, a pathetic man.”
“If you hadn’t been holding on to your futile fantasies, yesterday’s events wouldn’t have happened.”
“You have no remorse or reflection. You don’t even consider Isabelle’s feelings. Naturally, you wouldn’t understand why she’s seeking a divorce.”
“You speak as if you know.”
“At least I know better than you, Duke Calitheon. No woman wants a self-righteous, arrogant man for a husband. Especially in a suffocating household where there’s nowhere to lean.”
“What do you mean?”
“Now I see that you don’t know anything, not only about Isabelle but also about your own family.”
Eden sneered with a meaningful expression. This treatment was unprecedented. No one had ever insulted Richt to his face before.
“If you’re going to piss me off, I’d like you to stop with your presumptuous lectures and get out of my sight.”
“You truly know nothing. Continue living in ignorance. You don’t deserve to know.”
“What?”
“You will never be able to make Isabelle happy for a lifetime. You won’t even be able to truly win her heart.”
Unable to contain himself, Richt swung his fist towards Eden’s jaw again. Once again, Eden crumpled to the ground. He stepped on Eden’s fingers as he lay there defeated.
“The news of your divorce has spread to the streets.”
As Eden’s knuckles twisted, he swallowed a painful groan. Despite seeing his contorted face, Richt did not ease the pressure on the foot.
“Eden!”
A clear voice interrupted, accompanied by urgent footsteps.
“What are you doing!”
Isabelle pushed Richt away and rushed to the fallen Eden. Her eyes were filled with concern as she examined Eden’s hands and face.
“Are you okay? What happened to your face?”
Her soothing touch carried a deep sense of sadness. The more she comforted, the colder Richt’s expression became. That look and concern should have been directed at him.
“What on earth are you doing?”
Richt tried to separate Isabelle from Eden, but the response was a cold rebuff. Isabelle forcefully brushed his hand away.
“I’m so disappointed in you.”
“I wasn’t the one who started this, it was Viscount Ross.”
“That’s unbelievable.”
How could she so confidently take Eden’s side? Who the hell was Eden to her?
“Are you accusing me of lying?”
“Because Eden’s not the kind of person who would do that.”
“And am I?”
“I saw it clearly with my own eyes just now. You are hitting Eden and stepping on his hand.”
She was not willing to listen to his perspective.
“Apologize!”
“Why should I?”
“For making him look like this…….”
“Can’t you see my face?”
“I can. It’s an arrogant, narrow-minded, and selfish face.”
She stared at him like he was a stranger, a back-alley thug. A fierce, hard-to-pin-down emotion surged through Richt. It wasn’t just simple jealousy or resentment. It was something far more insulting, a feeling of being trampled upon.
His chest bubbled with anger. He couldn’t tolerate such a gaze from her. How could she look at him as if he was a back-alley scoundrel? Richt’s temples throbbed deeply. Rage spread across his face, more intense than ever.
“Whose side are you on?”
Richt spat out the syllables. Isabelle pretended not to hear him and gently helped Eden to his feet. Eden’s arms slipped around Isabelle’s body.
“Come inside, Eden. Your wound is pretty big, we need to get it cleaned up.”
Eden glanced at Richt once before turning his gaze to Isabelle, who gently took Eden’s hand and led her past Richt. She didn’t look back at Richt.
Isabelle took the other man’s side, supported the other man, and disappeared. Left alone, Richt felt abandoned. It was so humiliating and shameful that words alone couldn’t express it.
***
Bringing Eden into the house, Isabelle sat him down in a chair and hurried to get some first aid supplies. The back of his hand was horribly scraped and bleeding, but fortunately, there seemed to be no significant damage to the bones.
Isabelle wiped the blood from the wound with a damp towel, applied an antiseptic herbal concoction, and evenly applied an ointment containing powdered chrysanthemum flower, which is known for its healing properties. Despite the pain, Eden did not flinch or grimace, silently waiting for the treatment to finish.
Finally, she wrapped the injured area with a soft white cloth. She cut a bit of it to secure the area around the thumb bone tightly, so the cloth would stay in place and not slip off. Isabelle had a satisfied expression on her face.
“What happened?”
“We just had a little fight.”
“Did you really start it?”
“Yeah.”
The voice admitting it was calm. Isabelle’s eyes widened.
“Really?”
“Yeah.”
“Why? You’re not the kind of person to hit someone first.”
“Because I don’t like the Duke of Calitheon.”
Isabelle made a surprised expression. Eden had always been more mature and sensible than anyone else since he was a child. Even when a bully challenged him to a fight, he dodged like a gentleman and never used force.
If Eden had really struck Richt first, there was undoubtedly something wrong between them. Something Eden didn’t want Isabelle to know.
But it still didn’t make sense. Even if there was friction between them, Eden wouldn’t be the kind of person to do something so foolish in public. After all, Richt was a duke, and such a position wasn’t one to be casually challenged.
“I don’t believe it. Is there something I don’t know?”
“…….”
“Please tell me. What’s going on?”
Eden’s gaze was dark. His tightly sealed lips indicated he had no intention of answering. Panic set in.
What could she say to soothe him? Would asking Richt about the reason in the evening shed light on the situation?
No, he’d probably keep his mouth shut too.
She didn’t want them to be at odds like this. Isabelle let out a small sigh.
“Isabelle.”
“Yes?”
“Do you still love the Duke of Calitheon?”
The question was unexpected. Does it have anything to do with why they fought? Eden silently awaited a response, but Isabelle couldn’t say anything.
“The Duke of Calitheon is not someone who can make you happy.”
“Tell me. What happened between you two?”
“Leave him.”
“Why?”
“He’s a much worse person than you know.”
Eden couldn’t bring himself to reveal what he had witnessed last night. If Isabelle found out Eden had seen her and her husband making love, she would be devastated.
“…I can’t go back anyway.”
“Then why do you keep enduring it?”
“That’s…”
“Is it because you still love him?”
She didn’t say no.
“I do love him.”
Eden sighed with a bitter feeling. It hurt. The hope that maybe there would be a chance for him vanished in an instant. To Isabelle, he was just a brother, not a man. If he truly respected her, leaving her would be the right thing to do.
“Let’s talk about it later.”
With those words, Eden left the room.
Isabelle had no inkling about what Eden was hiding. It just made her feel a little uneasy. His tone and gaze were firmer than ever. He had always respected and supported her opinions.
Isabelle tidied up the first aid kit with a troubled heart. When she returned to the room, Mia came in with fresh rose flowers.
“The last one wilted, so I brought you a fresh one.”
Mia said brightly as she placed the vase on the nightstand. Isabelle looked at it, too.
“They are so beautiful.”
“Right? I thought you would like them.”
“Thank you.”
“There are so many different kinds of roses here, and I love colorful flowers, I was sorry we didn’t get to see them when we were in Barsk because Madam Dianna didn’t like them.”
Since Richt had come to House Blanchette, Isabelle hadn’t paid much attention to Mia. After enduring his desires every night, she was often tired during the day and mentally exhausted. Other problems didn’t catch her eye.
She realized that she had brought Mia all the way here herself, and she felt guilty for abandoning her. She should have checked if she was adapting well, if there were any discomforts, or if she needed anything.
“I’m glad you like it here. Are the other servants treating you well?”
“Absolutely. They’ve been good to me since you brought me here, and the butler is very kind.”
“I’m glad to hear that because I was worried that I had brought you here out of greed after spending your entire life in the Calitheon family. I was afraid I might make you uncomfortable.”
“Please don’t say that. I’m happiest when I’m by your side. If, by any chance, you decide to go somewhere later, please take me with you.”
Mia gave her a wide-eyed look, like a puppy wagging its tail. Isabelle smiled softly.
“Of course.”
“What are you going to do with the Duke?”
Mia asked cautiously while checking Isabelle’s complexion.
“Well…”
Isabelle made an awkward face.
“I shouldn’t have said anything, and I’m sure you’ll take care of it. I apologize.”
“No, you don’t have to apologize repeatedly. Oh, by the way, how long is Viscount Ross staying? I thought I heard he was here on business with Count Blanchette.”
Mia quickly changed the topic
“I don’t know. I didn’t ask him specifically.”
“Well, the Viscount Ross must love the gardens here, because he was out there for quite a while last night.”
“Last night?”
“Yes. I saw him by chance when I went to the east annex for an errand. He was standing alone in the middle of the garden.”
“Really?”
After tilting her head for a moment, Mia continued.
“Oh, come to think of it, he wasn’t looking in the direction where the roses bloomed. It seemed like he was looking at the main mansion. Did he like the structure of the mansion?”
“The mansion?”
“Yes.”
“I think he was looking toward the window on the second floor where your room is located.”
“What?”
Her mind flashed back to yesterday’s affair with Richt and their shameful acts. Anxiety crawled up her spine.
No, it can’t be. No. No
“When was it exactly?”
“Well, I’m not sure, but I think it was about an hour after Duke Calitheon returned.”
It was when Isabelle and Richt were in the middle of making love. A sense of panic surged through her mind.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes. There’s no way I wouldn’t recognize Viscount Ross’s face.”
So, Eden saw everything?
The thought made her head spin, and an uneasy feeling settled in her stomach. Her breath caught in her throat and her hands shook.
“I’m sorry, Mia…”
“Why are you suddenly like this? Your face has turned pale.”
“Can you leave now?”
“But my lady, your complexion…”
“Get out, Mia.”
Isabelle forced out a voice that refused to come out.
‘Look ahead. See what we’re doing.’
‘How is it? Can you see us in the window?’
At first, she thought it was an attempt to embarrass Isabelle. Richt knew that Eden had been staring at the window.
It was a deliberate display of animalistic lust between two people. Her knees buckled under the shock. Isabelle sank to the ground as if she had broken. She tried to rise, but her body wouldn’t move, all her joints stiffened as if frozen. The sensation in her palms, pressed against the floor, was particularly cold.
It all made sense now.
Eden’s frozen expression, his words before departing, and his silence about the reason—it all made sense now. Eden couldn’t bring himself to speak about what he had witnessed: Richt’s grotesque appearance and Isabelle’s shame.
Turning her gaze towards the window, that day’s events came vividly back. Her, n*ked, receiving Richt’t p*nis while moaning in a lewd manner, and writhing and reaching climax despite his degrading words—Isabelle couldn’t bear the vivid memory.
Isabelle covered her face with both hands. It was unbearable, too humiliating.
She didn’t want to believe it.
How? Richt, how could you?
It was unbelievable. Why did she deserve this for loving him?
Where was the gentleman who had defeated the drunken ruffian? Where was the husband who, although indifferent, had at least maintained some politeness?
Was the Richt she loved just an illusion? The days when her heart swelled just thinking about him shattered into pieces. This was the price of love. Her vision blurred.
She wanted to move to the bed, but her body still refused to respond. Isabelle lay on the ground, struggling with the agony of her shattered heart, waiting for her strength to return, and eventually closed her eyes.
It was indescribably miserable.
***
Richt returned home as usual, opening the door like any other day. As his arrogant face came into view, Isabelle threw the flower vase on the table at him. Her body moved faster than she thought.
Luckily, or unfortunately, the ceramic missed Richt and smashed against the wall. The shards of the blue pottery on the floor were sharp. The red rose that Mia had picked and brought in, now shattered among the fragments, created a chaotic scene.
“What are you doing so recklessly?”
Richt shouted with a disdainful expression.
“Get out! I don’t want to see your face.”
“Is this how you act over this morning’s incident? Did it hurt you so much to see Viscount Ross injured?”
His sharp eyebrows lifted slightly. Richt seemed to think that he should be the one who should be angry in this situation. Isabelle despised him more than ever. He was arrogant, selfish, and, in her eyes, insufferable.
Isabelle approached him, step by step. There were sharp shards on the floor, but she paid no attention. Without hesitation, she slapped Richt’s cheek with the palm of her hand.
The sound of friction cut through the tense air. A red mark appeared on Richt’s handsome face. He, whose cheek had been slapped, stared at Isabelle with intense black pupils.
“What are you doing?”
“You’re crazy! There’s no doubt you’re crazy! You’re like a lunatic!”
Isabelle yelled angrily, an unbearable fire burning inside her. She struck him on the chest with all her might.
But her cotton-bat-like fist did not affect Richt; he didn’t even flinch, but rather treated her as an irrationally excited woman.
“Calm down!”
“Do you think I can calm down now?”
When Isabelle lunged again, Richt grabbed both her wrists, restricting her movement. She struggled with all her might, but it only increased her blood pressure. The nape of her neck stiffened with unbridled rage, and her entire body shivered.
“Let go of me! I said let go! You psycho!”
Isabelle screamed, tears streaming down her face as she lost control of her anger. Tears, after all the insults I’d been subjected to, the name-calling, the beatings I’d endured.
She can only think of a handful of times in her life when she had expressed her anger, as she always swallowed it down. Crying like a fool amid such insults and blows was rare for her.
“You cried in his arms. No matter how close you are, he’s a man. Am I supposed to understand that?”
“A narrow-minded, self-righteous man. You think I’m doing this because of that?”
Her tear-stained face contorted painfully. Richt’s eyes narrowed on Isabelle, who was standing like a hedgehog, her hair standing on end, unable to control herself.
He was not used to seeing her this eager and emotional. There must be something he didn’t know. Richt’s long eyes narrowed.
“Tell me.”
Isabelle sank to the floor. Tears streamed down her cheeks and soaked her skirt. She clutched the hem of her dress tightly, but her body continued to tremble. Isabelle sobbed and choked out a voice that wouldn’t come.
“Eh, Eden…….
“…….”
“Eden, he saw everything.”
“He saw what…….”
Richt stopped speaking. His facial muscles stiffened slightly, but there was no significant reaction. Looking up from below, his face was so elegant that it sent shivers down her spine. How could he look so composed? She had loved such a man.
“It was on purpose, I didn’t even realize it…….”
“…….”
“How, how could you do that? I’m your wife.”
His lips, in a straight line, remained firmly closed. There was no excuse, no explanation for misunderstandings or intentions.
Isabelle hated Richt as he stood there silently, and the magnitude of her hatred stirred her. She couldn’t calm herself. Her chest tightened at the fact that she meant nothing to him.
Was this the pain of loving him?
She wasn’t a significant presence to him. She was only needed for her body. She knew it, but facing the truth was incredibly desolate.
“I hate you! I really hate you. No, I despise you!”
Her voice became nervously loud.
“You treated me worse than a girl in a brothel! How could I have loved someone like you?”
Isabelle sobbed in agony as she let the words escape her lips. The emotions she had kept suppressed might be overwhelming her. She didn’t think she’d ever let it out, and she didn’t know why it came out now.
For the first time, she regretted her marriage to Richt. No, she should have never met him in the first place. She regretted every moment with him. She wanted to cut him out of her life if possible. Isabelle sobbed through clenched teeth, her eyelashes trembling with tears.
Richt, on the other hand, stiffened at what he had just heard. He searched his memory, wondering if he had misheard. The words that had come out of Isabelle’s mouth were clearly words of love.
What? She loved me?
My wife loved me?
That couldn’t be true. It’s unbelievable.
“Tell me…say it.”
Richt spoke with a suppressed voice. But in her exhilaration, Isabelle couldn’t hear him.
“Say it again. Isabelle.”
Richt’s eyes, looking at Isabel’s lips, shook intensely. However, the answer he wanted did not come through.
“Get the f*ck out of my sight!”
“……”
“I don’t even want to look at you!”
“…”
“You’ve humiliated me enough! So just disappear!”
Due to Isabelle’s loss of composure, a normal conversation was impossible.
“Just calm down.”
Richt regained his composure and lowered his stance to make eye contact with Isabelle.
“It was a misunderstanding. I didn’t mean to insult you.”
Isabelle chuckled. The sound coming from his mouth was incomprehensible. ‘I didn’t mean to insult you?’ Her blood pressure rose at the ridiculousness of it all.
“If you don’t leave, I’ll die like this!”
Isabelle grabbed a shard of the broken vase and held it to her throat. It was sharp enough to cut through flesh at any moment.
“Get out! Right now!”
“Damn it! Stop!”
Richt shouted in an urgent voice. Isabelle ignored him and pressed the shard deeper into her throat. The pointed tip pierced her skin with a frighteningly sharp pain, and a thin line of red blood appeared.
With a swift motion, Richt snatched the piece from Isabelle’s hand and flung it to the floor. The small pieces shattered even more. Fortunately, only the surface of the skin was scratched. If there had been any delay, it could have been dangerous.
“What the hell are you doing? Are you really trying to die?”
Richt couldn’t believe what Isabelle had just done.
“Yes!”
“Calm down and let’s talk.”
“No! I don’t want to! Get out! I said get out!”
“I’d rather you hit me.”
Isabelle swung her arms wildly, slapping Richt indiscriminately on the cheeks, chin, and chest. He didn’t defend himself, just took the hits silently. The sound of the impacts grew louder.
She hit with all her strength. However, it was Isabelle who made a pained face, not Richt. It was a fight in which the one doing the hitting suffered more than the one being hit.
“Go! I said go! Why are you always so stubborn!”
“…”
“I hate you! Even now, you don’t respect me.”
Isabelle hated Richt for not respecting her to this day. When she wanted to see him, he never came. Now that she wished he would disappear, he was still here.
It was unfair that she always had to be the weaker one in their relationship. Isabelle, who had been hitting Richt for a while, finally withdrew her hands and sank to the floor, crying. It was a sorrowful, frustrated, and angry cry.
Richt didn’t know how to console her, so he did nothing. While it was true that he had shown Eden scenes of their affair because of his petty possessiveness and vindictiveness, he hadn’t thought Isabelle would find out about it. Eden had no intention of talking about it himself.
Isabelle, greatly shocked, was already out of her right mind, she was devastated. It seemed pointless to make any excuses. Richt hesitated to put his hand on her shoulders, finding that it would only agitate her more.
Stroking her trembling shoulders would only provoke her further. Unable to do anything, Isabelle’s sobs grew louder. Her whole face was covered in tears.
Isabelle hated Richt like crazy. She resented him to an indescribable extent. Even in moments when she wanted to cry alone, she couldn’t be left alone. He wouldn’t even listen to her. Her opinions were dismissed out of hand. Always selfish, he always did as he pleased.
Richt still stood by her side, unable to do anything until Isabelle cried herself out, no longer making a sound. After a while of crying, she collapsed like a lifeless body. Exhausted from screaming and the strain of the ordeal, all her strength seemed to drain away.
She wondered why she was the only one suffering.
Suddenly, a self-deprecating laugh escaped her lips. She laughed at her foolishness and lingering feelings for Richt, whom she had loved unconditionally.
How worthless the love she once considered everything was. How pathetic she had been to hang on to something like that. Isabelle realized it.
She wished everything had been a dream. A nightmare that would disappear when she opened her eyes. She closed her eyes with desperate hope, only to find that nothing had changed when she opened them again.
The reality was cruel.
***
Isabelle stayed in bed all day long. Eden and Richt came to visit, but she locked the door and refused to see anyone. She couldn’t bear to face Eden, and she didn’t want to look at Richt, who she found repulsive for daring to visit despite trampling on her feelings without hesitation.
Every once in a while, Mia would bring something to the door for her to eat, but she wouldn’t even look at it. She had no energy and no appetite.
She slept all day, and when she woke up, she forced herself to sleep again. There were only a few moments during the 24 hours when she was fully awake. Isabelle used to sleep to escape a reality she didn’t want to believe. She gave up trying to think, to understand, to accept.
After about five days of this, she couldn’t sleep anymore. Her stomach, which had been empty for days, complained of pain. She clutched her aching stomach and pushed herself out of the bed. The midday sun shone through the window.
Suddenly, she remembered the day. Her n*ked body reflected in the window, the vulgar words Richt had spat, the dirty deeds they had shared. The vivid scenes replayed horribly before her eyes. Isabelle tightly shut her eyes and, after a long while, reluctantly opened her eyelids.
Perhaps it would have been better to block the window altogether. That way, even if she couldn’t erase the damned memories, she could at least not relive it. Isabelle swung her legs off the bed. Her stomach tightened even more as she sat up.
Moreover, due to oversleeping, she had a mild headache. After a moment of staggering, Isabelle regained her balance and moved to the window, drawing the curtains tightly, casting the room into darkness. Finding a bit of relief, she crossed the room and headed to the door.
When she opened the door, Mia was standing right in front of her.
“Madam?”
Mia, who had been standing there for some time, greeted Isabelle with concern. Their eyes met and they were both surprised.
“Do you know how worried I’ve been? Your already thin body has become even thinner. You’ve been skipping meals for days, not coming out of your room. I was so worried, wondering what happened, how much I…how much I…”
Mia’s face expressing her sorrow was on the verge of bursting into tears. Isabelle’s heart sank as she realized that while she was huddled in her room, Mia was standing outside, tapping her foot in frustration.
Mia, although worried that Isabelle might faint due to her weakened state, looked thinner in her eyes as well. It seemed like she had suffered a lot emotionally.
“I’m sorry.”
“If you’re sorry, then please eat something now. No, more importantly, we should call a doctor first. Please go into the room. You might collapse at any moment. I’ll tell the butler, please…”
“I’m fine. I’m sorry for making you worry.”
Isabelle grabbed Mia’s hands tightly and stopped her. Mia, who had looked anxious, found some reassurance.
“I’m thirsty. Can you make me some tea?”
“Sure. Stay inside. I’ll bring it to you.”
“No, bring it to the garden. It feels stuffy here.”
“Yes, ma’am. Very well, my lady.”
Entering the garden first, Isabelle headed towards the pagoda. This place was a special place cherished by her mother, Rosalina Blanchette when she was alive.
The pagoda had an exterior completely covered with green bushes, and the structure was made of high-quality wood that only grew in the Sylvania region.
The floor was densely covered with wooden planks of the same material, but the traces of time had made them wrinkled. The table legs and chair armrests made of iron were also peeling paint in various places.
Since Timogere wouldn’t care about such trivial details, it was only natural that the wood, untouched by human hands, emitted a slightly musty odor. This pagoda was a gift from the late Countess Blanchette, a predecessor for Rosalina.
Her parents had also met through an arranged marriage, but they loved each other more than anyone. Growing up witnessing such parents, Isabelle had dreams of a happy married life.
When she found out that Richt was her fiancé, she wanted to live as her mother had. Even if she wasn’t loved, it didn’t matter. She could love him more.
Her unrequited feelings swelled on their own, and even the heaviness of it all wasn’t unpleasant in those days. There was a time when just looking at him made her happy. She thought it was fine the way it was.
Even though Richt was indifferent, he respected Isabelle as his wife. No, she believed he did. That belief was shattered. Everything was an illusion. She knew nothing about the man named Richt Calitheon.
As her emotions surged, her eyes turned red. She didn’t want Mia to see this, so she moved toward the nearby fountain to steal a glance.
At that moment, a strange stench pricked her nose. Isabelle quickly covered her nose with her hand as the smell hit her like a ton of bricks. The fountain turned out to be the source of the foul smell. The pungent odor, which she usually didn’t notice, felt especially strong.
Her stomach rumbled, empty from days without food. Isabelle rubbed the underside of her chest, trying to calm her nausea, and took a deep breath. But the smell that assaulted her nostrils grew more disgusting.
Suddenly, she felt nauseous. Crouching down on one side of the pagoda, Isabelle pounded her chest, trying to expel what was inside. The smell from the fountain, combined with her empty stomach, caused her to vomit stomach acid.
At that moment, Mia, who had brought a light snack and refreshment, noticed Isabelle. Mia set the food down on the table and hurried to examine Isabelle.
“What is it, my lady?”
Isabelle couldn’t answer, and she coughed up a lot of liquid. Mia patted her back and her breathing finally calmed. She pulled a handkerchief from her bosom, wiped her mouth, and tried to stand, but she felt dizzy.
Mia quickly picked her up and led her to a chair, where she leaned against the backrest and wiped the sweat from her brow.
“I think you might be sick. You’ve never been like this before.”
“It’s just because my stomach isn’t feeling well.”
“Would you like something cold for your throat?”
“Sure.”
Mia picked up the teapot on the table and poured some black tea into a teacup. Then she unscrewed the lid of the silver bowl next to it and added a slice of candied lemon to the tea. Mia handed Isabelle the tea, which was sweetened to make it easier to pass.
As the freshly brewed tea emitted a steamy aroma, Isabel took the cup to her lips. The unique fragrance of the tea attacked her sense of smell, and once again, the urge to vomit surged.
Isabelle crouched back down and emptied her stomach again. Black tea was her favorite. Something wasn’t right, and then a realization dawned on her.
Come to think of it, it had been a while since she had her monthly cycle. She had always kept track of it regularly, and there had never been a time she skipped it without reason.
No way.
Isabelle looked down at her stomach in disbelief.
“Madam, is there something you want to say?”
Mia must have noticed something strange because she spoke cautiously. Isabelle’s blue eyes darted from side to side as she looked at Mia.
“Is it possible… that you’re expecting a child?”
At those words, Isabelle’s heart sank.
“I don’t know. I don’t know, Mia. What should I do if that’s the case?”
“When was your last cycle?”
“It’s been a while.”
“Then there’s a possibility.”
“It’s not certain, so please don’t tell anyone.”
“Calling a doctor to confirm might be a good idea.”
“Then, what if people find out…….”
A strange fear overwhelmed her. Without knowing what she feared or who she feared, Isabelle lowered her head. She didn’t want to reveal it. It was unclear whether the person she didn’t want to reveal it to was Richt or Eden.
Filled with the thought of not wanting to disclose a secret that should not be revealed, she clenched her fist with an anxious heart. Her nails dug into the skin, leaving deep marks.
“I’ll secretly call for one.”
“How?”
“I’ll do it secretly, don’t worry.”
“Okay, I’ll rely on you.”
That night, while everyone was asleep, Mia secretly brought a doctor to examine Isabelle. A gray-haired doctor thoroughly examined her body, and the results were as ominous as anticipated. Congratulations were far from sweet words.
Seeing Isabelle’s face stiffen with confusion and panic instead of joy, the doctor tried to comfort her, saying that it could happen. However, the reassurance did not help. How could she be pregnant, how could she?
The doctor expressed concern that if her strength diminished, it could affect both the mother and the child. He advised her to take care of herself, recover her frail body, and move lightly.
Every word didn’t register in her ears. The old doctor looked at the dazed Isabelle and repeated what he had said before, and only then did he leave.
Even Mia, who had left the room, found Isabelle sitting on the edge of the bed, holding her head in bewilderment. She couldn’t believe that a life was growing inside her. No, she wasn’t ready to accept it.
The baby that never came when she wanted it, why now?
…Why?
Back when she was in the Calitheon Estate, the cause of tension between Isabelle and her mother-in-law, Diana, was always the absence of a child. Even though it wasn’t Isabelle’s fault, Diana treated her as if she were a defective item and did not hide her displeasure.
Diana was always impatient for a child. Isabelle wanted a child, too. Partly so she wouldn’t be hated by Diana, but also because she wanted to have a child who looked like Richt. As much as she earnestly wished for it, there were no signs of pregnancy.
The fundamental issue was that Richt was too busy with work and seldom came home, leaving Isabel alone to suffer in silence. Despite trying various methods, nothing worked.
On the day she left the Calitheon Estate, Isabelle played a million “what ifs” in her head.
What if my late father, the former Count Blanchette, were alive to support me? What if my elder brother weren’t a pathetic wastrel? What if I was a beloved daughter-in-law by my mother-in-law? Or what if Richt had loved me?
Among these hypothetical scenarios, the most tormenting one for Isabelle was the thought “what if I have a child.” After all the time she had spent suffering alone, the child had come unexpectedly, when she least expected it. When she least wanted it.
This couldn’t be happening.