Yuphe always said I was the light that illuminated his world.
But there’s something he doesn’t know.
If I was his light, then he was my only warmth.

From the moment I was born, my parents had passed away. My uncle, who should have been my guardian, feared me and sent me to the Grand Temple.
His Holiness Johannes became my new guardian, but there were far more people who needed him than a young princess from the Empire.
To me, the small boy I met in the underground punishment room was the first warmth to tightly hold my hand as if I were his entire world.

It was the first time for me, too.
The first time someone needed me so much.
The first time someone had welcomed my existence, which had been a tragedy and a curse since birth.

Yuphe was a younger brother I had to protect, my only friend, and sometimes even an older brother I could rely on.
But we were no longer able to smile and talk to each other like this. It was all because of his one-sided rejection and avoidance.

I remembered exactly when it all began.
“When Yuria appeared, that’s when you started ignoring me.”
“…….”
“You turned your head when our eyes met, and when I spoke to you, you acted like I didn’t exist.”
“…….”
“You even talked about me to Yuria on purpose, calling me a witch. Saying you’d protect Yuria from being devoured by that terrible witch.”
“…….”

I could understand Niel’s sharp attitude toward me because he loved Yuria.
He and I had been bound by an engagement for a long time.
I didn’t want the upright Niel to experience any conflict with Yuria out of guilt for betraying his former fiancée.
So, when he asked to break off the engagement, I deliberately acted cruelly.
I behaved in a way that allowed him to guard himself against me and hate me as much as he wanted.

But Yuphe…
I couldn’t understand why Yuphe turned his back on me so suddenly.
I didn’t think our relationship was one that could become so distant.

However, not being able to understand him didn’t mean I hated him.
“I still don’t hate you.”
At my calm confession, his golden eyes trembled slightly.
“Why….”
“Even when you ignored me, acted like I didn’t exist, and talked badly about me on purpose, I still didn’t hate you.”

The reason I could accept Yuphe’s attitude so calmly was…
“I thought it was better this way. After all, I’m going to die.”
It was because of that thought.

There was a time when I naively thought it would be nice if at least one person cried for me when I died.
But upon reflection, I changed my mind.
It would be better if no one cried at all.

Having experienced life and death once before possessing Jella Shunaibel, I knew better than anyone.
What was scarier than the fleeting pain of death was…
‘Ga-eul…!’
It was the lingering attachment to those left behind.

I’m going to die anyway. And I’ll have to say goodbye to those left behind.

But thanks to him cutting me off first, I didn’t have to worry about him or go through a sad goodbye.
Maybe it was for the better. For him and for me.

Even though he hates me now, I still cherished him.
That’s why I could refrain from hating Yuphe, even when he was hostile toward me.
It hurt a little. No, to be honest, it hurt a lot…

“But now, what? Are you saying you never liked Yuria? That you hated her so much you wanted to kill her?”
“…….”
“Then why did you treat me like that? Why were you so cruel to me?”
“…….”
“You knew how much I relied on you. So why were you so heartless?”
“…….”

Yuphe bit his lower lip tightly, unable to say a word.
“You recognized me but pretended not to. You said things like you hated Yuria, making me feel conflicted, only to show up with her the very next day.”
“…….”
“What am I supposed to believe? Was there any truth in what you said?”
“…….”
“Did you just toy with me?”
“…….”
“Did you enjoy deceiving me?”
“Jell…”

He reached out toward my eyes.
“I really hate you.”
I turned my head sharply to avoid his hand as I spoke.

Yuphe’s hand froze in midair.
“I hate you, I hate Yuria, I hate everything.”
“…….”
“I never want to get involved with you again.”
“…….”
“So, don’t appear in front of me anymore. Even if we meet, don’t greet me or acknowledge me.”
“…….”
“Let’s just live as strangers from now on.”
“Jella, I…”

For a moment, he looked at me with a face that seemed like he was about to cry.
I had always been weak to his tearful face.
In my memories, he was always the child who cried for me, not for himself.
I held back the softening of my heart and spat out the rest of my words.
“When you ignored me, I went along with your one-sided rejection. So this time, you go along with mine.”
“…….”

His hand, which had been frozen in the air, dropped limply.
I turned away without hesitation.

***

Yupheon was left alone in the street.
‘You and I aren’t in a relationship where we can smile and greet each other like old friends.’
…I know. That’s why when those people called you Jella, I couldn’t bring myself to do the same.
I’m someone who shouldn’t call you by that name, Jella.

‘Did you enjoy deceiving me?’
…No, no, Jella.

It wasn’t deceit. It was never deceit.
I should’ve said so, but at that moment, I couldn’t bring myself to speak.

Can I truly say it wasn’t deceit?
In the end, all my actions led to her death.

Ah, yes, I remember now.
Jella, when was the last time I called you by that name?
‘Jella…!’

The snow-covered Shunaibel estate. In its deepest part.

When I found her lying pale as a corpse…
When I went to her, she was already dead.

I held her lifeless body and wailed.
That was the last day I called her by the name “Jella Shunaibel.”
Her white face and cold body were still vivid in my memory…

Yes. She died.
She definitely died.
All my actions drove her to her death.

And yet, even so…
Can I really say it was for her?
Can I truly say it wasn’t deceit?

“Sorry. I’m sorry, Jella.”
The sobs that had risen to my throat burst out the moment I opened my mouth.
“I’m… so sorry.”

Drip. Drip.
The large tears that fell stained the tips of his shoes.
Left alone in the street, Yupheon cried.

Just like that time when, as a child, he heard the apprentice priests slandering her and foolishly wept in front of her.
He cried so sorrowfully.

***

I hadn’t intended to get so angry.
I just wanted to ask him.
If he had explained or apologized, I would have accepted it.

But Yuphe neither explained nor apologized until the end.
‘Then I have no choice but to believe you really deceived me. Why won’t you say anything?’

A faint resentment welled up.
Now, I don’t even know what’s true anymore.

Yuphe, who loved Yuria.
Yuphe, who said he hated Yuria.
Yuphe, who held Yuria protectively and called me a witch.
Yuphe, who cried bitterly when he saw those who slandered me as a witch who devoured her parents.
Yuphe, who at some point stopped being my friend and became Yuria’s man.
And yet, Yuphe looked at me with the same gentle eyes as before.

His duality and contradictions left my mind in turmoil.

“Ah, Sister!”
When I returned to the underworld, the members greeted me.
“What’s going on?”
“Ah, well… A guest has come looking for you…”

A guest? Again?
I was just thinking how there seemed to be more people seeking me out recently when—

Something golden, like a thread of sunlight, darted toward me.
“Please save me!”
Yuria clung to me and shouted.

‘Wait, Yuria?’
My eyes widened.
The woman with shining blonde hair and violet eyes was indeed Yuria.

Why was Yuria here in the underworld?
“Crazy men are trying to kill me!”