After Your Regret - ✿ dusk blossoms ✿

That evening, Vint came to Iren’s house to say thank you. Iren forcibly seated the reluctant Vint at the dining table.

“It’s nothing special. Please eat before it gets cold.”

“I’m always indebted to you. I’m really sorry, Rel. Especially since I can’t even pay for the medicine properly…”

“Don’t say that. If it weren’t for you, how could we have lived in this village? Don’t worry and eat a lot to get healthy quickly.”

“Grandpa, is the pie that Rian made not good?”

“No way. How could that be? Even if it’s burnt black, it’s delicious because Rian made it.”

“Hehe.”

Vint couldn’t disappoint the bright Rian. He took a big bite of the apple pie. His expression became subtle as he chewed on the pie.

“Rel, what else did you put in the pie besides apple?”

“Feev. I thought adding a bit of bitterness would balance out the sweetness… Is it strange?”

“Cough, no. It’s delicious. It’s good… but maybe try something else next time.”

“Yes…”

Iren’s voice was weak in response. Vint quietly laughed, seeing Iren noticeably disheartened. The wrinkles around his eyes softened in a tender and warm manner, much like looking at one’s own child.

“By the way, it’s almost been a year since you and Rian came here.”

“Yes. Since Rian is 4 years old.”

“Already?”

“Rian is 4 years old!”

“Oh my, our puppy is going to become an adult before we know it.”

Rian mumbled with his mouth full of pie, struggling to speak because his mouth was stuffed.

“Should I give you some milk?”

“It’s okay. I’m suddenly very proud of you, Rel. Even though we’re not related by blood.”

“That doesn’t matter, uncle. What’s more important than something like bloodlines is the heart. I’ve already told you several times, but if it weren’t for you, we wouldn’t have thought about staying long in this village.”

It was sincere. After faking her death to leave Lahart, Iren moved every year. And each time, she used a fake name and dyed her hair a different color to live as someone else. It was to avoid any possible tracking from Lahart. Staying in one place for too long would inevitably spread rumors.

Iren did not want to leave any trace that Lahart could use to track her down.

But now, Iren thought it was time to settle down somewhere. It had been 5 years since she left Sirencia, and more importantly, she was worried about Rian.

So far, because Rian was young, moving around frequently wasn’t a big issue. But constantly moving from place to place would mean that Rian couldn’t make friends and would spend his life wandering like a stranger.

Even if it wasn’t their hometown, staying in one place long enough could provide a sense of stability.

Iren hoped Rian would live a different life from hers. She hoped he would never know the loneliness of having nowhere to return to.

Of course, to do that, she couldn’t use the fake name ‘Rel’ she was currently using. Her hair would also need to be dyed a different color.

“I appreciate you saying that. Are you planning to stay here?”

“I’m considering it. If there aren’t any major issues, I’d like to stay. Everyone is kind… and Rian likes it here too.”

Vint, who vaguely knew that Iren had moved around a lot, nodded.

After drinking milk, Rian laughed with white foam around his mouth. Iren wiped Rian’s mouth with a handkerchief.

“Then, Rel. How about asking Mrs. Lempard if she knows a good person to introduce you to?”

Iren’s hand, cutting the pie for Rian, stiffened. Vint carefully continued, gauging Iren’s reaction.

“You’re doing well, and you will continue to do so. I know that better than anyone. But wouldn’t it be easier if you had someone by your side? The lord and his wife trust you, so they wouldn’t introduce you to just anyone.”

Iren showed no reaction. As she remained silent, Vint also stopped speaking and closed his mouth.

I know. That Vint didn’t mean it maliciously. That he said it out of concern for me. That he wouldn’t say such a thing if he knew my circumstances.

Raising a child alone as a woman was never easy. Iren, more than anyone in the world, felt this painfully.

The labels attached to a commoner woman who bore and raised a child from nothing was long and sordid.

Looking for a man to change her life with her pretty face as bait. Not knowing who the father of her child is because she’s been with many men. Having a noble’s child by chance but being abandoned after asking for too much in return.

Yet, over the past five years, countless men had approached Iren. All were enchanted by her appearance. They came openly, sometimes subtly, and at times hypocritically.

To them, Iren was not a fellow human being. She was like a rare luxury item they wanted to indulge in once, regardless of whether she had a child or not. They were worse than beasts.

So now, Iren could trust no one.

The husband she had loved with all her heart had declared he would kill the child if she bore one, and other men only desired her body.

Who then could she trust? With whom could she share her burdens?

Love is an illusion. Life with someone else is nothing but hell for me. Maybe remarrying could remove the stigma, but that’s all it would do.

Besides, she was someone who needed to hide her identity. In many ways, she was not in a position to marry.

All I need is Rian, just this child. I don’t need anything else.

“I understand what you’re saying.”

Iren stroked Rian’s hair. His black hair, resembling hers, slipped through her fingers. Rian looked at her as he poked the pie with a fork.

His eyes, also resembling hers, gleamed with joy.

“Mom, why aren’t you eating?”

Iren took a bite of the pie piece offered by Rian. The apple crunched sweetly and sourly in her mouth.

Could this be the taste of happiness? Something she had never felt by that person’s side.

Iren brushed away the sudden thought and firmly said,

“But I only need this child. I am capable of taking care of Rian and myself. I hope you won’t say such things again.”

“…Right. I was out of line. I’m sorry.”

“No need to apologize. Is it delicious, Rian?”

“Yes. Mom’s pie is the best in the world. I could eat a hundred!”

“If you eat a hundred, wouldn’t your stomach hurt?”

“It’s okay if it hurts because I have Mom!”

Rian stretched out his arms, acting spoiled. Iren placed Rian on her lap.

“Me too. With Rian, everything is okay. I’m not afraid of anything.”

Iren smiled blissfully. The sight of her with Rian was perfect in itself.

It seemed there was no room for anyone to come between them.

* * *

“…Mom…”

A small voice was calling her in the darkness. Who could it be? The voice was familiar. Iren tried to open her eyes, but her eyelids were too heavy.

Was it because she stayed up late preparing ingredients after putting Rian to bed?

“Wake up…”

Struggling between dream and reality made her consciousness hazy. Instead of opening her eyes, Iren turned towards the direction of the sound.

A warm hand touched her cheek patiently. It was a careful touch, as if handling something precious and fragile.

Pleasantly touched, Iren wanted to fall back asleep rather than wake up. If that touch continued until she fell asleep, her bruised and battered heart seemed like it would heal completely.

“…Go… to the mansion… to work…”

Ah, right. Today was the day she had to go to the lord’s house.

Putting together the fragmented words snapped her consciousness awake. Her eyelids, heavier than stones, lifted as if someone pushed them up.

Seeing the face that filled her now-clear vision made Iren catch her breath.

Thick eyebrows. Eyes that were straight and coolly extended. A prominently high nose bridge. A face perfectly crafted with strength and beauty was there.

It was undeniably his face, though it looked much younger than her last memory, and it was impeccably clear.

A face she had once missed terribly… If possible, she wanted to return to those days.

“Mom! Did you wake up? It’s morning.”

“…Rian.”

Rian’s hair, which had seemed as white as snow, had returned to black.

Iren hugged Rian, who was looking down at her from the bedside. Rian giggled and nuzzled his cheek against her in a spoiled manner. The distinct warmth brought her heart back to its place.

Sometimes, or rather often, Iren mistook Rian for him. Even though the only resemblance between Rian and that person was their outward appearance.

So after each mistake, Iren tormented herself with guilt and anxiety.

The guilt that her subconscious might see this child as a substitute for him. The anxiety that if he ever discovered Rian by chance, he would immediately recognize his child.

But such feelings of hers were things Rian did not need to know. Iren skillfully hid her dark emotions with a smile.

“Rian woke up before Mom. Why did you wake up so early?”

“I went to bed earlier than Mom. And… and.”

“Yes, and?”

As Iren waited patiently, Rian lifted his head. The child’s round cheeks were tinged with pink.

“I waited to wake Mom up. Even in my dreams, I hoped it would be morning soon.”

“Were you bored because Mom was sleeping?”

“No.”

Rian tightly grasped Iren’s fingers. Iren quietly observed what Rian was doing.

“Because today is the day Mom goes to do the great work of helping sick people… Rian wanted to wake you up so I can support Mom.”

“You wanted to cheer Mom on.”

“Yes, that’s right. Cheer! I wanted to do that. To cheer you on!”