Lucia’s gaze shifted to the empty medicine bottle Iren was holding. Lucia’s face drained of color as she clasped her throat with both hands.

“You, you…!”

“Was it interesting to hear a story I made up on the spot after listening to you, Miss? Was it intriguing?”

“You despicable…! How dare you deceive and threaten me?”

“I’ve finished today’s treatment, so I’ll be leaving now. Please tell the Countess I’m sorry for not being able to see her before leaving. And Miss.”

Iren bowed to Lucia and then lifted her head. Her face, now devoid of smiles, was cold and dignified.

Lucia was overwhelmed by her elegant presence and couldn’t move an inch.

“You can say whatever you want about me, but my son is not your plaything. Please remember that.”

Iren then left Lucia’s room. As soon as the door closed, there was a sound of something breaking and shattering from inside. It was the sound of Lucia unable to contain her anger and lashing out too late.

Iren stared at the closed door.

To talk back like this. The old me could never have imagined doing such a thing. But I am not the Irelaide of before.

She became a completely different person after giving birth to Rian. To protect Rian, to make Rian happy, she was prepared to do anything.

‘You are my everything, Rian. I won’t let anyone touch you.’

Iren hastened her steps towards the home where her precious son awaited her.

* * *

Iren’s days running a pharmacy were incredibly busy and intense.

During the weekdays, she managed the store, preparing medicines, and on weekends and holidays, she went out to the forests or fields outside of town to gather herbs.

In their regular and repetitive daily life, Iren was always with Rian. The only times they were apart were like yesterday when Iren visited the count’s mansion.

“Rian, don’t go too far.”

“Okay!”

On a holiday morning, Iren took Rian out to the fields.

Even in the mild climate of the southern region, summer was still summer, and digging for herbs in the shadeless fields at midday was a perfect recipe for heatstroke.

She planned to gather herbs only until noon when it got really hot, and then read books to Rian in the afternoon.

While gathering herbs, Iren kept an eye on Rian. Rian played energetically even by himself. He would be looking at a bug sitting on a leaf and then, a moment later, digging in the dirt somewhere else.

Her clothes and hands got dirty with soil, but Iren didn’t stop him.

Seeing Rian running freely under the vast sky and over the fields made her feel compensated for her past life, trapped in a mansion and a ducal palace.

“Mommy!”

“Yes. Mommy’s here.”

Rian hopped around excitedly. His black hair popping up through the green grass was adorable. When Iren waved at him, Rian waved his hands even more joyfully.

“Mommy! There’s this weird bug here… Huh.”

“Rian? Rian!”

Just as he had been hopping around like a frog, Rian suddenly collapsed. Iren threw her basket aside and ran to him.

“Rian! Wake up. Rian, Rian!”

“Ugh… Ha, ha… Cough!”

Rian clutched his chest and coughed violently. Red blood flowed from his mouth.

Iren turned pale and laid Rian down properly, making a pillow out of her knees. Then she took a medicine bottle out of the small bag she always carried and fed him the medicine inside.

One bottle, two bottles, three bottles… A total of seven bottles were emptied in no time.

Iren’s hands were trembling, but there was no hesitation or reluctance in her actions. It seemed like this wasn’t her first time doing this.

“Huuh… Mommy, Mommy…”

“It’s okay, my baby. You’ve taken your medicine, so you’ll feel better soon. It’s okay. You won’t hurt. Mommy’s here.”

“It hurts so much here… I can’t breathe… My chest feels tight… Mommy…”

“Does it hurt a lot? I’m sorry. It’s because of Mommy… You’re in pain because of me. I’ll make sure you don’t hurt anymore. I promise, Rian. I promise I’ll make you better.”

“Why… am I sick… because of Mommy…?”

Iren couldn’t bring herself to answer Rian’s question. Not because she didn’t know the answer, but because she couldn’t bring herself to say it.

“It’s not because of Mommy… Now, it feels a bit… less painful…”

Rian managed a weak smile despite his pain.

Seeing him like that made Iren feel as if her insides were twisting and burning up. It was as if her soul was crumbling.

It felt as if her veins were filled with blades instead of blood, slashing through her body.

But Iren smiled back. There was no reason for her not to smile when her sick child was trying so hard to smile for her. Standing before a child who’s desperately trying to smile, crying would not befit a mother.

“You’ll stop hurting soon. Rian, should Mommy sing until you’re not in pain anymore?”

“…Yes…”

Iren gently patted Rian’s chest and sang softly. Perhaps the medicine was starting to work because Rian’s expression gradually relaxed and his complexion began to return.

Iren watched Rian’s changes intently and kept singing. If his condition worsened, she would need to act immediately.

Fortunately, Rian soon fell asleep, his breathing regular. His heart, which had been beating so violently that she feared it might burst out of his chest, also calmed down.

She had given him sleeping pills and sedatives, so he would sleep deeply for a while.

“Ah… Rian, Rian… My baby.”

Iren hugged Rian and wept. She had strained her eyes so much to hold back tears that blood vessels burst and mixed with her tears.

Iren continuously stroked the sleeping Rian’s face.

It’s my fault. Because of my greed… Because I didn’t give up. Because I, cursed with this blood, insisted on having a family. So…

Iren’s choked sobs fell onto Rian’s blood-stained clothes in drops.

It was clear that Rian’s illness had flared up again after being quiet for a while.

Iren waited until Rian was completely calm before heading straight home.

The basket and sack for herbs were empty, but nothing was more important than taking care of Rian after his seizure. The store could stay closed for a few days until supplies were ready.

All the way home, she worried that the faint breath on the back of her neck might stop at any moment.

When she arrived home, Iren felt as if her heart had burned to ashes, leaving nothing behind. After four years of raising Rian, there was nothing left in Iren to burn.

Her heart had melted away long ago, and her heart was merely there. Thus, the flames were now consuming Iren’s soul.

Iren changed Rian into clean clothes and laid him on the bed.

His complexion was pale, but he showed no signs of coughing up blood or his limbs becoming rigid again.

But seizures are unpredictable in when, where, and how they might occur. Iren knelt beside the bed and held Rian’s hands in hers.

“Rian…”

Rian had been suffering from a rare disease since birth. Iren first realized Rian was ill when he was not even 100 days old¹It is traditionally believed that the first 100 days after the child’s birth is the most vulnerable period for both the mother and the newborn …. the number 100 has a deep meaning of maturity in Korea; making it past the first 100 days was a sign that you would live to see your first birthday, and making it past your first birthday was a sign that you would make it out of infancy.

His cough wouldn’t stop, and his fever was boiling. He found it difficult to breathe. Even taking medicine only brought temporary relief.

Iren was a genius pharmacist, but she had no experience in caring for a baby. Moreover, she couldn’t objectively examine Rian.

What if I miss something critical, or what if my medicine harms Rian? Consumed by such thoughts, she couldn’t make any decisions. So, Iren spent days looking for a doctor known for treating babies well.

“The baby’s heart isn’t good. He’s also inherently weak. I’ll give you some medicine to try.”
“Will he get better if he takes the medicine?”
“Well, it’s not easy to change what’s inherent. This is the best we can do for now.”

Iren analyzed the medicine prescribed by the doctor. Based on the analysis, she created a medicine that maximized the effects and minimized side effects for Rian to take.

Thanks to Iren’s efforts, Rian quickly became healthy as if nothing had happened. Rian, smiling brightly at Iren and fiddling with his small hands, seemed like an angel who came down to earth.

Iren thought everything would be okay now that they had seen a doctor and found effective medicine.

But hope brutally trampled on Iren, as always.

The symptoms that had appeared once began to seriously afflict Rian. The symptoms, starting like a cold, worsened day by day.

Iren traveled the empire, visiting every doctor she could find. Moving almost every year was partly because of Lahart, but also to find a doctor who could cure Rian’s illness.

The doctors’ opinions on Rian were varied. Some said his lungs were bad, others said his heart was bad.

Some said it was an unknown rare disease that required hospitalization for long-term observation.

Some said Rian wouldn’t live past three years, as is often the case with children born with such weak bodies.
The words ‘born with a weak body’ made the ground beneath her feet crumble. A vast despair pushed Iren into a pit.

A wave mixed with darkness, frustration, and sadness engulfed Iren. Swept away by the dark waves, Iren felt intense self-loathing.

It’s my fault. My body… It’s because my body wasn’t healthy that Rian got sick. A body that has been poisoned for years can’t be normal.

It’s my fault for wanting a family with such a body. Rian got an unwanted disease because of me and suffered because of it.

“With your weak body and that Phaeson blood, there’s no reason for you to bear a child.”
“Don’t even dream of having a child.”

Maybe that person was right. Maybe he foresaw this future. Maybe it was only invisible to me. No, maybe I pretended not to see because I was blinded by greed.

Should I have followed that person’s words? Should I have given up on this child… Could I have done that?

Iren shook her head. Even if she could go back to that moment dozens, hundreds of times, she would make the same choice.

Because she already knows how much happiness this small child, the last miracle to come to her, brings.

That day, Iren hugged the wheezing Rian and cried for a long time. She cried so much that it seemed all the moisture in her body would dry up.

After pouring out all her tears, Iren resolved to do whatever it took to save Rian. To live happily just to show the doctor who said Rian wouldn’t live long.

To prove them all wrong.