Chapter 26 – Because Of My Humble Heart

But as Bianca quietly watched them, she soon felt a strange sense of incongruity.

‘……What?’

That feeling was even quite evident.

At first, she thought it was just her judgment clouded by jealousy, but Bianca soon realized that her intuition was not wrong.

‘Am I the only one who noticed?’

Meanwhile, the surroundings were noisy with praises for the beautiful couple who would become husband and wife in a few days.

Bianca unknowingly furrowed her brows.

She had been watching Ansel for a long time, dreaming of being his wife from a very close distance. So, she couldn’t possibly not know.

The way he led his partner with impeccable manners made them seem like a perfect couple at first glance, but…

‘He doesn’t love her.’

He had the same look in his eyes as when he dealt with her, an old friend.

She couldn’t possibly not know. The fact that there wasn’t even a hint of love, let alone something similar, in those eyes.

‘…Ansel, what on earth are you thinking?’

Bianca, who held her breath in confusion, took a small step back.

The premonition that she would understand something by seeing the two in person had been beautifully wrong.

However, at the same time, it was ironically as if she had found light in the depths of her heart.

It is common sense that a marriage without love is unlikely to last long.

Above all, if he could marry with just this level of emotion…….

‘Then there’s no reason I can’t become his second wife.’

Bianca, who had gained an unexpected harvest, smiled with her blue eyes half-closed.

The first dance was nearing its end.

* * *

Eloise, who had returned home from work, couldn’t even think about eating dinner or changing clothes and just threw herself onto the bed.

She was so exhausted that she couldn’t even lift a finger.

“Wow… it feels like the bed is sinking into the ground.”

Eloise murmured in a weak voice. Her whole body was completely exhausted.

Still, lying down for a moment to rest before going down for dinner was better than falling asleep until morning like yesterday, right?

“Hah, what’s better about that?”

Is it okay to live like this? 

Every morning, waking up half-asleep, walking for a long time on the deserted streets to the factory, staring at threads and beads all day like a nail stuck in one place, then dragging her staggering legs back home in the evening and jumping onto the bed…

‘Tomorrow will be the same. The day after tomorrow too. And the day after that.’

At that thought, another heavy sigh escaped.

Of course, it wasn’t okay to continue living like this, but just as she was busy trying to find a suitable excuse, she heard a sound from outside the door.

“…Is that Sally?”

She heard Mrs. Mullich’s mischievous cat meowing outside the door.

“Sorry, Sally. I don’t have the strength to open the door. But even if I did, you’d just look at me pitifully and then go back downstairs. Do you find that amusing?”

The cat meowed something in a dissatisfied tone.

It was quite amusing that a cat with such a lovely name as Sally could have such a bad temper.

“That name is the prettiest name I know. It’s too good for you.”

Then there was a thud, the sound of a skinny paw hitting the door.

Imagining the cat glaring at the door with a sullen face made Eloise laugh, burying her face in the pillow.

At least she could still laugh like this. It was a bit sad that it seemed like the first time she had laughed since buying a rose on the street.

Whatever the case, there was only one conclusion. To endure a little longer.

She still had no intention of getting married, so going back home would mean a continuation of the same monotonous days.

Having left home with such determination, she couldn’t return without gaining anything.

Of course, she had a loving family in Maybury, but deciding how to live her life was entirely her responsibility.

Most importantly, the decisive reason for leaving home was the belief that her painful and tumultuous heart would soon calm down in the new capital.

But contrary to her expectations, her heart had not yet become serene, and when she thought about her sister’s wedding…

“……Wait. What’s today’s date?”

At that moment, Eloise sprang up as if struck by lightning.

Her hair, which had been neatly fixed with a hairnet in the morning, was now disheveled.

“I must be crazy!”

The wedding of Ansel Blaine and Sarah Bailey was only three days away. So she had to write a letter immediately.

If the letter didn’t arrive before the wedding, her family would be anxious until the day of the wedding.

She couldn’t cause any more trouble on her sister’s precious day. Absolutely not.

Eloise frantically rummaged through her bag like someone out of their mind, pulling out paper and a pen.

Then, staggering, she sat down at the desk, and suddenly, she caught sight of her face in the mirror on the desk.

“Oh my, my face in just a few days…”

In the mirror, a woman with a haggard and hollow face was staring back at her.

Her usually beautiful blue eyes, which often received compliments, were now as cloudy as a sky covered with clouds.

Eloise, feeling distressed, touched her cheek and then covered her face with both hands, feeling a sudden wave of sorrow.

“Sigh, nothing is easy. I’m so out of it…….”

At least, over the past few days, she had managed to keep up with the other female workers, so she thought she was getting the hang of the job.

But how could I be so exhausted from a job that involved sitting in one place from morning till evening, just moving my hands?

Perhaps she was more tired because of the unique, grim atmosphere that hadn’t softened even after a few days.

Concluding this, Eloise rubbed her dry eyes wearily.

Unfortunately, her ideals and reality were as different as heaven and earth.

Earning money with her own strength and being part of social development were fantastic things that made her want to scream, but having to stay cooped up in a stifling factory for all that time was undoubtedly a hardship.

Moreover, the work was not enjoyable at all.

Expecting fun from labor might be nonsense, but it would have been better if she had found a more active job.

‘……No. I have to stay for at least three months.’

Eloise shook her head vigorously to erase her thoughts.

Thinking negatively wouldn’t help at all. Since she had to go to work tomorrow anyway, it was better to think positively for her mental health.

“Today, I must have dinner. It would be troublesome if my cheeks became hollow.”

Eloise, muttering as if making a vow, moved her gaze to the blank paper. It was finally time to write the letter.

Her fingers and wrist were aching, making it difficult to write as beautifully as usual, but she picked up the pen, hoping her sincere feelings would be conveyed beautifully.

Soon, the pen tip began to run smoothly over the soft paper.

「Time flies. How is everyone doing?

Brightnum is cloudier than Maybury.

In fact, the rain that started yesterday hasn’t stopped yet. And Mom, Dad, your cute Elsie caught a cold in that rain. I keep coughing even now. Cough!

It’s not serious at all, so don’t worry too much. Thankfully, the kind Mrs. Mullich has offered to take care of me, so I think I’ll be fine in a few days if I rest well.

But it seems I won’t be able to go to Maybury…….

Mom, Dad, I’m sure the dress you made is the most beautiful in the kingdom, right? I really wanted to see Wellington’s best bride wearing it with my own eyes.

And the garden of Fairmont House, which must have turned into heaven.

I wanted to be in the front row, blessing my sister and scattering flower petals.

Thinking that I can’t do that makes me so upset I could cry. God wouldn’t understand this feeling of mine.

I’ve paid the deposit generously, and I’m starting to get used to the factory work, so I can’t leave this place immediately,  but I’ll come down for a short visit as soon as I recover

Surely the painter at the Earl’s residence will beautifully capture the wedding scene, right? I can’t wait to see it.

Promise to tell me everything that happened that day without missing a single detail.

I’ll stop here because of the coughing. Love you all.

Elsie.」

The letter, completed with sincere feelings and a bit of skilled lying, would be sent to Maybury on the mail coach leaving at dawn.

It would be a bit tight, but it should arrive before the wedding.

“Sigh.”

Relieved that she had avoided a big problem, Eloise let out a deep sigh. Yet her mind was still uneasy.

The thought of possibly ruining her sister’s wedding by attending still lingered.

She wasn’t confident she could smile happily beside her parents. She couldn’t guarantee that she wouldn’t inadvertently show a painful face or shed sorrowful tears.

The moment Sarah saw that, she would surely understand everything.

Sisters are connected more deeply than people think. And that fleeting moment would become a painful thorn in Sarah’s delicate heart.

For a very long time.

Eloise wanted to avoid that at all costs. She didn’t want her beloved sister to suffer.

But not going to her sister’s wedding was equally painful.

Thinking of her sister feeling lonely, looking at the empty spot of her only sibling in the middle of that vast garden three days later, made it even more so.

“I’m sorry, sister… I’m just afraid I might ruin everything.”

Because of this humble heart that I haven’t been able to sort out.

“So, it’s better if I don’t go.”

Muttering in a tired voice, Eloise folded the letter tightly. Another distant sigh escaped.

Lying down on the desk next to the letter, she whispered.

“I’ll come to see you soon, Sally.”