Chapter 36 – Could There Be a Greater Misfortune Than Love?

“He liked you, from the very beginning.”

“Archie, you…”

Eloise felt as if all her thoughts had come to a sudden halt.

She had exchanged countless trivial jokes with Archibald.

But how likely was it that he was joking now? Especially about his young master…

When her thoughts reached that point, her throat tightened with emotion.

“How do you know that, when you’re not Ansel himself? If what you say is true, then he wouldn’t have been so special to my sister. Can you explain that?”

“The young master just found it difficult to approach you. It might sound strange, but.”

Even while saying something that seemed impossible, Archibald remained calm.

Eloise, feeling beyond bewildered to despairing, countered.

“I’m younger than him, and I’m the daughter of a family with no status or wealth. Why would he find it difficult to approach me? If anything, it should be the other way around!”

“If he didn’t have feelings for you, it wouldn’t have mattered. But thinking about it the other way, the young master might have found it even harder to approach you because of that gap.”

“…”

“Just because he’s a noble doesn’t mean it’s easy to deal with emotions he’s experiencing for the first time. Plus, you were firmly misunderstanding the relationship between him and Miss Sally, so to him, Miss Bailey seemed like the only way to approach you.”

At those words, her delicate wheat-colored eyebrows furrowed.

According to Archibald, Ansel asking about Sarah was just an excuse to talk to her, visiting Maybury on Sarah’s birthday was a pretext to see her, and writing letters to Sarah was to include a postscript for her…

It was an impossible scenario, but even if it were true, it was incomprehensible.

What could he be so afraid of to go to such lengths? It would have been less trouble to simply express his feelings.

‘Was liking a common girl with nothing to her name really so frightening for him?’

Eloise, mulling over Archibald’s words with a bitter feeling, suddenly lifted her head. Her clear face was flushed.

“Wait, you said I misunderstood the relationship between Ansel and my sister? Didn’t you think the same as me?”

“No, Elsie. I knew.”

“…You knew?”

“I came to know naturally while serving him closely. That the young master liked you from the start. And yes, he even told me directly.”

At his utterly calm response, she finally got angry.

“Not long ago, you insisted that Ansel’s feelings were for my sister! Have you been deceiving me all this time?”

“Yes, I deceived you.”

“…Ha.”

A cold laugh escaped her. If she had known in advance that there was no lie in Ansel’s confession, she wouldn’t have been so harsh in driving him away.

Eloise unleashed a fierce rebuke.

“Why? If you had told me earlier, it wouldn’t have come to this! Why didn’t you tell me? We’re friends! Or was I the only one who thought so?”

“Because I liked you too.”

At that sudden statement, her tear-dampened eyes widened.

The reddish sunset reflected in her moist, bright blue eyes. Eloise was frozen, unable to even blink. Her mouth wouldn’t open, as if under a spell.

She didn’t ask if it was true, didn’t scold him for joking, nor did she brush it off with a laugh. She simply stared into space, and seeing her like that made Archibald’s throat dry.

“Aren’t you going to ask anything?”

“…What do you want to say?”

“Elsie, listen carefully. You’re… suffering from a heartache. The lively self you used to be is gone, and now you can’t even move as you wish.”

Eloise rubbed her dry eyes, swallowing a low sigh.

Her friend, or the man she thought was her friend, diagnosing her like a doctor was somewhat annoying, but there was nothing wrong with what he said.

“Time will heal it…”

“It’s not something you can just rely on time for, Eloise. You need to leave home again. There’s no other way.”

“Haa.”

Eloise knew that better than anyone.

But she had neither the reason nor the face to leave home. It was only recently that she had tearfully vowed to live for her family.

“I appreciate the advice, but what does that have to do with you liking me?”

Eloise spoke with a sense of resignation, her dry lips moving. The answer that followed was shocking.

“Let’s get married. And live together at the Earl’s estate.”

“What?”

Eloise turned to Archibald with a face full of astonishment. Finally, their eyes met.

“The young master wasn’t the only one who liked you. I’ve always liked you too. I was late in realizing it and expressing it, but at least in proposing, I…”

“No, Archie.”

With her lips trembling uncontrollably, Eloise took a short breath and continued.

“That’s not what’s important right now. Are you serious?”

“Ansel Blaine lives in a different world from us anyway. Do you know how arrogant his family is? Allowing Miss Sarah was nothing short of a miracle. Even that’s over now, but Eloise, you wouldn’t even be considered…”

Archibald, speaking hurriedly, swallowed his breath in surprise. He quickly added a few more words.

“Of course, I think you’re more charming. Miss Sarah is undoubtedly beautiful, but you’re the one who drives men crazy…”

Damn it.

Archibald cursed under his breath, pressing his forehead.

“…I’m sorry.”

He hadn’t meant to babble on about such lowly thoughts. He felt like he was less than the dust on the ground.

He was curious about what expression Eloise, who was saying nothing, had, but he couldn’t open his eyes and continued his desperate confession.

“Elsie, forget about the young master. Even if you miraculously change the minds of the Blaine family, how will you face your family? I know how much your family means to you, how precious they are to you.”

“…”

“It might be sudden, but my feelings are sincere. I’ve been waiting for the day I could tell you this… I’m not a grand noble gentleman, but I’ll make your happiness my reason for being. So live with me, Eloise.”

His sun-tanned, bronze face was entirely red. His firm jaw trembled.

“Elsie… Will you?”

The side of Eloise’s face he looked at with courage was more serious than ever.

He thought she was quietly listening, but in truth, she was deep in thought.

Finally, Eloise spoke.

“Leaving is indeed the only way.”

“Does that mean…”

“Yes, I should leave. Thanks to you, I’m sure of it. So now… let’s not see each other again, Archie.”

At her voice, cold enough to be frightening, Archibald’s lips fell apart powerlessly.

“…Eloise.”

“I have no feelings for you. You know that.”

Her voice, devoid of any warmth, scattered emptily into the crimson sunset.

Eloise quietly stood up, as if she had nothing more to say.

Archibald trembled in utter sorrow. With a face that looked like he might cry at any moment, he held onto Eloise.

“Eloise, don’t do this. Please…”

“Don’t make that face, Archibald. Losing a dear friend is a sad thing for me too.”

Eloise released his hand, which couldn’t grip tightly, with an unfeeling touch.

“Take care.”

She managed to put on a composed voice and silently turned away from her long-time friend.

She clenched her hands tightly to hide her trembling fingertips.

She wanted to leave this place as soon as possible. Just imagining the sad face that would helplessly watch her back was painful.

But she couldn’t muster the strength to run. The only comfort was the certainty that he wouldn’t follow her.

Eloise, with a hollow heart, recited a common word.

Love.

The serene and noble force that allowed people to stay by each other’s side amidst fierce storms. The love her parents showed her was undoubtedly like that.

It was truly everywhere. Even the old woman selling flowers on the dusty street praised love.

Some said that the only thing that kept people alive was love.

But for some reason, Eloise felt deceived. It was love that had wrecked her world.

She believed that the brilliant days of her childhood had shaped who she was now. She could return to those shining days just by closing her eyes, no matter where she was.

The radiant sunlight, the fresh early summer breeze, the sound of happy laughter. That small paradise was always inside her eyelids.

But gradually, cracks began to form in that heaven, and now it had completely collapsed.

The innocent children were gone. Love had taken everything. Without a trace.

Why is my love so violent and merciless? Perhaps the love I know is different from the love the world speaks of?

Love only brought miserable despair.

Even when the one love she couldn’t achieve miraculously came to her, Eloise had no choice but to forsake him.

Could there be a greater misfortune than love in this world?

She hated herself for not being able to hold the hand of the man she desperately wanted to hold.

She hated the humble house that made her feel so small in front of that man. She resented her family, even her sister, who was once the most precious to her.

If only my sister weren’t there, if only, I could have loved him without any guilt or hesitation.

When her thoughts reached that point, Eloise wished she could lose her mind.

The love that made her blame the people she considered her whole life felt like a curse.

There was only one thought in her mind. This couldn’t be the love the world spoke of.

If she was wrong, Eloise didn’t need such love.

“…Let’s think of it as a bad dream. A dream forgotten when morning comes.”

Muttering quietly, Eloise wiped her sorrowful tears and hurried her steps toward home. The red sunset gently deepened at the intersection of two seasons.