At the End of the Shattered Remains of Pure Love - Chapter 11

No matter what anyone said, Elaine was the daughter of an ordinary couple, and her father was a tenant farmer who dreamed of becoming a farmer. Now she just had to return to her daily life. Return to that familiar daily life and hope that her beloved Khalil would be safe in the days of ordinary passing.

If given the chance, she hoped to at least exchange greetings with him. Although a criminal’s life couldn’t be smooth, she was prepared to accept even being sold as a slave in the worst case. So…

“I’m okay, Khalil. I, I…”

“Ellen.”

“As long as you’re safe. Just you…”

Her stomach ached. She bit back a groan and lowered her head. Khalil, who was kneeling to face her, embraced her. Elaine nestled into her husband’s broad chest. She smelled musty, but her husband’s embrace had the same enchanting rose scent as always. That gap made her miserable.

“I can accept everything. I… None of it was mine anyway. Honey… You, you were a man who couldn’t be mine. So…”

“I’m your man forever. I swear on my family name and my honor. Ellen, I belong to you.”

His red lips touched her forehead. She opened her wet eyes and looked at him. Shadows were layered on his pale face. With trembling hands, she traced her husband’s face that seemed like an illusion. She remembered seeing her brother’s head from afar.

“Ellen.”

Her brother’s face, eyes not even closed, overlapped on the gaunt outline. She thrashed like she was having a seizure. Khalil held her tightly, as if subduing her. Her round belly pressed against his flat stomach. Elaine breathed heavily. Everything felt unbelievable. All the days so far seemed like a lie.

“…It feels like a lie.”

Becoming Khalil’s wife and carrying his child… They said it was a blessing beyond her station. She agreed.

From the moment this man was given to her, she couldn’t believe it. More than having dozens of dresses she couldn’t have even in her dreams. More than receiving jewels she couldn’t afford even if she saved for decades, receiving Khalil’s love was sweeter.

Wasn’t she someone who couldn’t even be allowed to mingle a shadow with him? He was a man she couldn’t be permitted to have without the Emperor’s decree. Just that alone made her feel like a princess in a fairy tale. Perhaps that’s why the crumbling reality is even more terrifying.

“I will get you back. Definitely, definitely….”

It was when she was burying her face in his chest, breathing heavily. Her husband cried. She raised her head.

His beautiful face contorted and became soaked with tears. Elaine touched him with a pained expression. She couldn’t understand what he was saying. While there was still a part of her that couldn’t believe it, the truth was that she couldn’t comprehend what her husband was saying. Even after hearing it repeatedly, she couldn’t understand.

But…. When had the world ever sought her understanding? All the tragedies and comedies surrounding her were events that occurred regardless of her will.

“I will uncover the innocent death of your brother with my own hands. Ellen, I will surely return myself to you.”

Elaine moved her lips. His long hand cupped her pale face. He kissed her lips deeply and then whispered.

“I love you, Elaine.”

You are my only eternal wife. You alone possess all of me.

***

Khalil said he was getting married. It wasn’t even a remarriage. He said he was a bachelor because his marriage to her had been annulled. She wondered how this could happen.

She was pregnant. If this child wasn’t Khalil’s, whose child was it? If Khalil was a virgin, who had impregnated her? But in her position as a sinner, she had no one to ask.

She understood everything. Her husband taking back his wife. Her marriage being annulled. As if their entire married life had never happened…. Yes. Even the time they lived as husband and wife was being denied.

She could accept all of that. What right did she have to hold her head high when she was falling as a traitor? But she couldn’t bear becoming her husband’s mistress. Being his concubine, sitting like a doll in the middle of his bedroom….

No. She couldn’t stand by and watch him take another woman as his wife. It was tantamount to murdering Elaine’s personhood. Such pain….

‘The rest of your life will be riddled with the terrible humiliations I felt. Your husband desiring another woman and that woman mocking you…. Isn’t it fun? The fact that you’re finally returning to your place.’

Suddenly, Alisandra’s murmur came to mind. Only then did she realize what the humiliation that woman spoke of meant.

Pain like flesh being cut enveloped her. So Elaine begged him every day.

To please let her go. Now that she had become a slave, couldn’t he sell her anywhere he wanted?

It wasn’t an imperial order. There was no reason he had to keep Elaine as a concubine.

‘You are still my woman. You’re carrying my child….’

‘Then when the child is born, when the child is born….’

‘Ellen.’

‘Now… now we are nothing to each other.’

Elaine cried. She had never been this desperate in front of her husband…. No, in front of this man. Elaine knelt with her full-term belly. She clasped her hands and burst into tears before him.

She didn’t want to see that woman. She didn’t want to face his new wife. The thought of him embracing her made her want to throw herself out the window.

If his marriage was inevitable, the only thing she could do was leave. The most terrible thing was that she still loved him. Being the concubine of the man she loved and watching him embrace his wife….

‘Please, Khalil. You still love me too. So….’

‘That’s right. I still love you, Ellen.’

Khalil’s expression was blank. He was painfully stubborn. The soft demeanor of the past was nowhere to be seen…. He oppressed Elaine.

So when her husband was taking another woman as his wife, she lay on his bed with her swollen belly. A prison with bars would have been better. The dungeons of Varen Castle didn’t even let in light. She bit her lips tightly.

In fact, she hadn’t been in her right mind since Khalil announced his marriage. And there were countless things a woman out of her mind could do.

Elaine carefully chewed on the anger beating in her chest. The ignition point was her heart. Flames engulfed her entire body. She now hated Khalil more than Alisandra. Yes. Khalil….

She hated him to death. She wanted to kill him for leaving her as a mere concubine. It seemed better to kill him and die along with her child.

“Khalil….”

So she, like a mad woman, picked up a knife. She left the bedroom. Stumbling, she went barefoot to the chapel. Beautiful bell sounds and the sound of celebratory gunfire could be heard from the chapel where the wedding was being held. The noisy sounds of the banquet scratched at her ears.

Elaine looked at the round table covered with a lavender tablecloth. That tablecloth had been used at her wedding too. She remembered. She had praised how beautiful the lace satin was. In fact, that day wasn’t even that far in the past.

“Haa. Haa….”

Now it felt real. That her husband had abandoned her. That he had kept her as a bedroom maid in his quarters because he didn’t want to give her to others…. So even the child in her womb might mean nothing to him. She looked at the man standing next to the bride. His handsome face was obscured by the spring sunlight.

The cries of the maids could be heard from afar. She turned her head. They were looking for her who had escaped from his bedroom. But Elaine’s gaze was fixed on her husband in the distance. Her husband removed the bride’s veil with his white-gloved hand. A pale face with curly red hair was revealed.

The priest officiating the ceremony mumbled something with his thin lips, and Khalil kissed her forehead. He had a serious and affectionate face, just as it had been at her wedding.

“My lady. You shouldn’t, you shouldn’t… My lady!”

Someone approached her. She turned her head and looked at him weakly. She raised her eyes to look at the sky. The world spun. As her vision tilted, irritable shouts scattered dully. His gaze returned to her as she tilted.

Khalil shouted, ‘Elaine!’

***

The child born was a daughter. That child was born on the day of her father’s wedding and was held in her father’s arms.

Elaine looked at the child who was so beautiful that her mouth couldn’t close. The maids, including the midwife who received the baby, couldn’t close their mouths, saying that the baby was glowing, but to her, the baby was just a baby.

It’s bright red appearance looked like an apple hanging under a tree branch. That day, Khalil ran carrying his bedroom maid while still in his ceremonial attire. Returning to his quarters, he continuously called out her name and stroked her cheeks as if he could see nothing but the woman.

The midwife and the doctor, who came running at the count’s order, tried to drive the count out of the bedroom. But he didn’t move a single step. Elaine went through labor pains for twenty-five hours, repeatedly losing and regaining consciousness.

She lost consciousness so often that the midwife, with a frightened face, said she might not survive even if she gave birth to the child.

But terribly, Elaine lived. So, according to her expression, the ‘blessing of dying while giving birth’ was not given to her as she had been enjoying too much luxury until then.

“Ellen.”