Chapter 2.10

Despite having calluses from holding a sword, his hands were still beautiful, his skin was white as if he had never experienced hardship, his jewel-like eyes, and his radiant blonde hair that stood out anywhere like the sun.  

She was jealous of his handsome appearance and his good family that could easily pay for expensive meals, and his kind and untroubled personality started to feel annoying. His dazzling talent, always taking first place in both swordsmanship and general grades, was another thing.  

If I were you, if I grew up seeing only good things in a good environment and receiving excellent education, I could have done much better.  

If Leonard had treated her like other people did, looking down on her as a lowly commoner, she wouldn’t have hated him so much. No matter how great he was, if he were as mean and arrogant as Enoch, she wouldn’t feel so powerless and miserable.  

Thinking about it, it was all because of Leonard that they became close. She never wanted to get close to him…. He approached her first, acted kindly, and called her a friend. Then he made her feel this terrible feeling.  

After being so sweet to her all this time, calling them friends. How could he trample on her so harshly?  

No, why did Leonard approach her in the first place? He lacked nothing, yet why did he come to someone insignificant like her? Why on earth?  

Did he feel superior watching her, who had nothing better than him and always lost to him?  

Feeling a deep sense of betrayal, she realized she had given more of her heart to him than she thought. Even though she knew better than anyone that someone as perfect and lacking nothing like him had no reason to approach someone like her.  

Calling it friendship, what a ridiculous notion. She should never have given her affection in the first place. She shouldn’t have expected anything.  

She was aware that she was having irrational thoughts. But it didn’t matter. As she forcibly criticized and belittled Leonard, a vile and miserable pleasure crept in, making her fingertips tremble.  

She hadn’t realized it before, but now she could say it with certainty.  

She had come to dislike Leonard Klein. She wished he would disappear from her life, wished and wished again.  

No, if they had never met in the first place…. If they had never crossed paths forever, it would have been better.  

* * *  

Perhaps around this time, as a first-year student, she was intoxicated with the thought that she had turned her miserable fate around herself. She couldn’t deny the sense of superiority she felt, being different from the ordinary people found everywhere.  

Maybe it was that pride that helped her endure the noble-filled environment of the academy. After barely managing to be second place, she could walk around confidently.  

Compared to the nobles with their noses in the air, wasn’t this level of arrogance cute?  

Still, she thought it was better than having a sense of superiority over a dubious birth like most people here.  

Anyway, grades were not only her pride that allowed her to walk with her head held high but also her value and significance within the academy.  

It was understandable to react sensitively since Leonard was threatening something so precious.  

Of course, she wasn’t trying to justify her actions this way.  

After repeatedly losing to Leonard, the suffocating feeling that had been pressing down on her turned into an obsession with grades. Even though she hadn’t received any letters from the Marquis, she felt she had to beat Leonard and become the top student.  

At this point, she hated Leonard to the point of division, but if she became the top student this time, she could shake off all the inferiority and misery. Then she could return to normal relations with Leonard.  

With a clear goal, she devoted herself solely to studying as the finals approached. Leonard continued to talk to her, but she didn’t respond at all. Leonard seemed to conclude that she was busy with exams, seeing her not responding.  

* * *  

And on the day of the long-awaited finals. She did well on the exam. She could confidently say it was one of the best exams she had ever taken.  

So she headed to the hallway with a hopeful heart.  

If she became first this time, all the negative feelings she had towards Leonard would disappear. Maybe today she would willingly go out with Leonard if he asked, and perhaps she would apologize for the last time.  

But the moment she faced the grades posted on the wall, her heart sank with a thud, and her hope shattered.  

Her grades hadn’t changed even once from the first exam to now.  

Her expectations were off. She was second again.  

“…….”  

“Oh, hi, Raven. Were you looking at this? If you’re not busy, can we talk for a moment?”  

Feeling her fingertips tremble slightly, she stared blankly when Leonard’s friendly voice came from behind.  

He spoke cheerfully without even checking his rank.  

“Since the exam is over, if you have time, want to go out in town together? Um, actually, I have something to tell you….”  

“…No.”  

At her sharp voice, Leonard hesitated for a moment before asking again in a kind voice.  

“Oh, really? Then how about going to the library together?”  

Only then did she slowly turn her body toward Leonard.  

“I….”  

She then grimaced as if she was about to cry, turning her back to the grades posted on the wall.  

Holding back the choking feeling, she looked straight into his purple eyes and spoke in a cold voice.  

“Leonard, I hate you.”

“……!”  

The twisted purple eyes and hurt expression felt satisfying. It was as if the suffocating feeling in her chest had burst open. She was never known for having a good personality.  

“Ever since you joined, it’s been like this. But even though I’m showing it so clearly, you keep sticking around, don’t you? Are you clueless? Are you pretending to be clueless?”  

She poured out words as if she were vomiting out all the suppressed feelings. Once she opened her mouth, she couldn’t stop, as if bile was surging back up.  

“I hate you. I hate you so much, you understand?”  

Her low and quiet voice gradually grew louder, and people around started to turn their attention toward her.  

But she didn’t care at all. Regardless, she continued to speak almost hysterically, nearly screaming.  

Actually, she didn’t even know what she was saying. As long as she could make Leonard’s face twist, nothing else mattered.  

“Don’t act like you’re dealing with a pitiful person! It’s annoying and miserable!”  

“…….”  

Breathing heavily, she frowned.  

After ending her storm-like outburst and lifting her head, she saw Leonard with a hurt expression.  

Finally, the smile had disappeared from Leonard’s face as she wished, but for some reason, she didn’t feel happy at all.  

Why are you making that face when I said something unpleasant to you? Why are you acting like the world is collapsing?  

She felt tears almost coming out, rubbing her eyes furiously. She had absolutely no reason to cry because of Leonard. Absolutely, absolutely none.  

Afraid of revealing her distorted face, she hurriedly turned away.  

“Raven….”  

Leonard called out to her pitifully, but she left the hallway as if closing her eyes and ears.  

It was during the winter of her first year, after the second semester finals.  

* * *  

What was more miserable was that Leonard approached her awkwardly in the next class, apologizing.  

“I’m sorry, Raven….”  

She deliberately frowned and ignored him, passing by. Leonard looked almost on the verge of tears, and people around, more than Leonard himself, criticized her.  

By then, he should have understood what she meant, but Leonard stubbornly followed her out of the classroom after class ended.  

“I’m sorry, Raven. I shouldn’t have invited you out when you were probably having a hard time. Please, can you forgive me?”  

She suddenly stopped as Leonard’s voice, calling her from close behind, began to tremble.  

“I’m sorry, sorry, sorry…. I did everything wrong. Please forgive me.”  

“…….”  

“Everything was my fault, so can’t we just go back to how we were before… like before, hanging out together? Raven, please….”  

As soon as she turned around, Leonard, awkwardly sniffling, hurriedly grabbed her sleeve.  

His anxious gestures, trembling breath, and words admitting all his faults made her feel even more miserable.  

When she remained silent, Leonard, gathering his breath, urgently spoke.  

“Sorry, Raven…. Please don’t hate me.”  

“…Stop it!”  

Whether it was because of Leonard or herself, she frowned and fiercely shook off his hand, overwhelmed by disgust.  

“I told you I hate this. Didn’t you understand? Stop it!”  

When she shouted, Leonard, with a hurt face, released her sleeve.  

“I wish you wouldn’t show up in front of me anymore. You’re really annoying and irritating.”  

After harshly snapping at his reddened eyes and earnest gaze, she left the place, feeling a sting in her chest.  

Thinking of the expression he must be making, she even felt a twinge of guilt. 

Was I too harsh? What did Leonard do so wrong….  

But whether she regretted it or not, it was already done, and she had no intention of going back to the hallway where Leonard stood.  

From that day on, her reputation hit rock bottom, and her relationship with Leonard became not just awkward but icy cold. She realized that she had unknowingly been under Leonard’s protection, and as soon as they grew apart, she became a target of all sorts of criticism, bullying, and ostracism.  

None of it mattered. She never cared about her reputation anyway, and with Leonard… if he hadn’t approached her first, they wouldn’t have had any connection.  

So ordinary school life didn’t matter at all.