Chapter 5.2

‘Why do I feel like someone is following me? Is it just my imagination?’  

Lyla glanced back.  

Surely, the Marquisate’s servants hadn’t sent an assassin after her.  

The hostile gazes that had followed her departure were chilling. After all, Didian was the beloved daughter of the house.  

Surprisingly, Lyla’s instincts weren’t wrong. However, it wasn’t an assassin sent by the Marquisate’s servants—it was a spy sent by Kadis.  

‘I must be reading too many novels.’  

Lyla shook her head.  

In any case, the Marquis and his sons would likely consider this a relief. Sending their angelic family member to marry into the Cardia Earldom would have brought them to tears.  

And if it were ever revealed that the Earl was, in fact, a woman in disguise… the mere thought was horrifying.  

Although she had unintentionally hurt Didian, this was the best outcome. Lyla resolved to properly apologize to her once she had calmed down.  

‘Didian liked me?’  

Lyla bit her lower lip.  

Was all her talk about Kadis just to make me jealous?  

Yet, whenever she was near Kadis, she would fall silent and hide behind Lyla. Lyla had thought it was shyness in front of someone she admired, but perhaps it was the opposite.  

Of course, Lyla could never accept Didian’s feelings.  

She was a woman, after all. And Didian loved Lyle, the man, not Lyla, the woman.  

Moreover…  

‘I can’t introduce someone who likes me to another person.’  

Lyla decided to abandon her plan to pair Kadis and Didian together.  

‘Someone… who likes me.’  

As she mulled over the thought, her heart sank.  

“Could it be…?”  

Her grip on the reins tightened involuntarily.  

‘Could Kadis like… me?’  

Lyla had lived a life far removed from romance.  

For someone like her, who existed in a liminal space between man and woman, love was a luxury. She had suppressed any feelings of attraction, not because she denied being a woman, but because she had to give up a woman’s life to survive.  

Even so, since joining the Wolfgallion ducal residence, she had taken care of Kadis, who was five years younger than her, and thus had some theoretical knowledge about matters of the heart.  

Of course, this knowledge was limited to the basics taught in the conservative North.  

A man’s reproductive organ enters a woman’s. If seed is planted in the womb, a baby forms, and the belly swells. The child is born after months.  

That was about it.  

The rest of what she had learned about such matters came from her time among mercenaries, and it was far too crude to even call knowledge.  

‘Did you know? Sailors, when desperate, resort to pleasuring each other.’  

‘Ugh, with their hands, maybe, but their mouths?’  

The voice of a mercenary retching at the thought of such acts flashed through her mind.  

Same-s*x attraction.  

Why was this conversation coming to mind now? 

She knew why but didn’t want to admit it.  

‘Could Kadis possibly… be attracted to men?’  

For most people, it was natural to feel desire toward the opposite s*x.  

But Kadis was no ordinary person. He had always been exceptional. But this wasn’t the time to admire him.  

‘When did it start?’  

Could he have discovered such feelings during his year on the battlefield?  

But it made no sense for s*xual desire to take precedence over the will to survive in life-and-death situations. Then again, as a woman, there might be aspects of this she couldn’t understand…  

‘He’s always been strangely uninterested in the opposite s*x.’  

Lyla thought back.  

Still, it wasn’t as though Kadis showed interest in men either.  

He treated women as invisible and beat up every man he encountered. Especially if a handsome man lingered near Lyla, Kadis would approach with a menacing glare and drive them away.  

“Oh my…”  

The scattered puzzle pieces began to form a clear picture.  

‘Kadis was jealous, just like Didian.’  

Jealousy.  

Even thinking the word felt unbearably embarrassing. But Kadis’s odd behavior could only be explained as jealousy.  

‘Did I… turn Kadis into someone who loves men?’  

First Didian, and now Kadis!  

Lyla clutched her head, her fingers tangling in her hair. She then slumped forward and hugged her horse’s neck tightly.  

“Ugh…”  

“Neigh…”  

Hearing her distressed groan, the horse wagged its tail as if to comfort her.  

‘This can’t be happening. It just can’t…’  

Lyla shed a few tears before quickly rubbing her eyes and taking hold of the reins again.  

“Sorry. Did I scare you?”  

She stroked the horse’s neck, and it let out a reassuring snort.  

She hurried back to the ducal residence.  

***

“Haah…”  

Even after arriving at the ducal residence, Lyla couldn’t bring herself to go inside. Instead, she circled the estate.  

Kadis was likely waiting for her in there. 

What should I say? What would he say?  

Her thoughts were a whirlwind of uncertainty.  

“Neigh…”  

“Oh, sorry. It’s time for your meal, isn’t it?”  

Noticing the setting sun, Lyla dismounted.  

“Go on ahead.”  

She lightly slapped the horse’s flank, and the intelligent animal trotted off toward the stables.  

Lyla wanted to delay as much as possible.  

Eventually, her cowardice led her to the maze garden within the estate.  

She had frequented this place as a child, following Kadis around, and could now navigate it blindfolded. But today, she deliberately chose paths that led to dead ends.  

It felt as though she was facing an insurmountable wall. Her steps grew heavier with each passing moment.  

Then, suddenly…  

“So this is where you’ve been wandering all day.”  

“Eek!”  

Lyla jumped at the unexpected voice.  

When she turned around, she saw Kadis leaning against a hedge wall, smirking.  

His towering height made the hedge seem shorter, though it was far beyond Lyla’s reach.

Suddenly, she recalled the moment when she had raised her body in the thieves’ den, only to hit her head. On the contrary, back then, Kadis had been so small that even standing upright, he couldn’t reach the ceiling.  

She felt the passage of time anew.  

“Ha ha. You’re startled like a little girl.”  

Lyla pressed her lips tightly together. Kadis also withdrew his smile and stood before her. His towering height, well over 190 cm, felt like a massive wall.  

And that wall was approaching.  

A wall that no human strength could overcome.  

A wall that only reminded her of her helplessness.  

That wall resembled the most precious being in Lyla’s life at one time. It was no different now.  

To dare say it, Kadis was no less than the only family she had left on this earth.  

So, she wished for his happiness.  

But to think she would end up ruining that happiness herself…  

“Why did you just send the horse? I was worried you’d been attacked!”  

“I apologize. I only thought it needed to be fed. I didn’t think that far ahead…”  

Lyla admitted her mistake without resistance.  

Kadis didn’t get angry. In fact, he wasn’t angry at all. He had already sent his subordinates to report everything Lyla had been doing.  

Though Lyla would never know that.  

“More importantly, you visited the Magni Marquisate?”  

“I’m sorry.”  

Lyla instinctively bowed her head.  

The news had already reached him? 

Lyla bit her lip tightly.  

“Do you have anything else to say besides apologizing?”  

“I deeply regret visiting the Marquisate without informing you and causing you embarrassment, Lord Kadis.”  

“That’s not what I meant, damn it…”  

Kadis, who had raised his voice, suddenly closed his mouth. Lyla’s deeply bowed head looked like it might drill into the ground.  

“Not apologies—something else.”  

Kadis forcibly grabbed Lyla’s chin and lifted it.  

“Ugh.”  

As their red eyes met, her lower abdomen tightened once again. Unconsciously, Lyla placed a hand on her stomach. Kadis closely observed her every small movement.  

“Does your stomach hurt?”  

“N-no. I feel very uncomfortable because of your actions, Lord Kadis. That’s all.”  

Unable to withstand his persistent gaze, Lyla finally spoke with difficulty.  

She couldn’t bring herself to ask if he liked her.  

Of course not.  

Lyla was a coward, too afraid to face reality.  

Facing reality required courage beyond imagination.  

“You’re not the only one uncomfortable, you know.”  

At that moment, Kadis spoke bluntly. His furrowed brows showed a faint trace of irritation.  

“I’m uncomfortable too.”  

“What about my actions…”  

“You keep giving off the scent of a female. Have you been like this even when I’m not around? Huh?”  

Kadis lightly shook the chin he was holding.  

Each time, Lyla felt as if the worries filling her head were bouncing out like fleas. Finally, her mind was so empty that she was on the verge of shutting down.  

What does he mean by the scent of a female?  

Oh, she wished she could just faint.  

But she couldn’t afford to lose consciousness, fearing she might wake up in Kadis’s bed. That would truly be disastrous.  

‘Someone, please stop Lord Kadis…!’  

It was at that moment Lyla desperately wished for help.  

“Lyle!”  

Someone called out to her from beyond the maze garden.  

Both Kadis and Lyla turned their heads simultaneously.  

“P-Professor Charlier?”