Chapter 9.3

When the two, having completed their less-than-ceremonial task, stepped out of the inn, they were greeted by a crowd that hadn’t been there before. The villagers, alarmed by the soldiers Kadis had brought, had come out to see what was going on.

“Why are soldiers from the Ducal Residence in such a rural village…?”

“Could they be here to wipe out a band of thieves?”

“Were there thieves around this village?”

The villagers glanced nervously at the pursuit team waiting in the yard in front of the inn. Their expressions suggested they were wondering if a battle had taken place somewhere. No one could have guessed that this many people had been mobilized just to find one person.

“… I’ve caused trouble, haven’t I?” 

Lyla muttered gloomily.

“You’ve caused a lot of trouble. I lost ten years of my life because of you.” 

Kadis crossed his arms and smirked wickedly.

“Ugh. I-I’m sorry. I’m so ashamed…” 

Lyla shrank even further under Kadis’s rebuke, her eyes darting nervously. If left alone, she seemed ready to drop to her knees in apology.

Kadis let out a short sigh and placed a hand on Lyla’s cheek.

“At least you’re safe.”

“Lord Kadis…”

“Don’t ever leave my side again. That’s an order from your lord.”

“Ugh, yes. Yes…!” 

Lyla hastily wiped her eyes and nodded. Kadis chuckled softly and tapped her cheek lightly. Tilting his head, he gestured with his chin, and soon a subordinate led a black horse to their side.

“Um, where’s the horse I’ll be riding…? Ah?!” 

Before Lyla could finish looking around, Kadis scooped her up and placed her on the saddle. As he climbed on behind her, Lyla, startled, began to speak.

“L-Lord Kadis—”

“Quiet.”

Kadis grabbed the reins and encircled Lyla with his arms.

“How do you know what I was going to say?”

“You were probably going to complain about people watching, how the saddle is too small for two, or how I might be uncomfortable. Something along those lines.” 

Kadis raised an eyebrow and looked down at Lyla.

Am I wrong? 

His gaze seemed to ask. Lyla was momentarily speechless before letting out a soft laugh and nodding. 

“You’re right.”

“… Let’s go. Back home.” 

Lyla gently placed her hand on Kadis’s, which was holding the reins, as she spoke.

Kadis was about to spur the horse forward but suddenly remembered something. Turning around, he retrieved a cloak from behind the saddle and wrapped it around Lyla.

“This is…”

“It’s cold. Wear it.”

“Thank you.” 

Lyla smiled bashfully and held the cloak tightly around her. Kadis stared at her reddened ears for a moment before issuing a command to his subordinates.

“Return to the Ducal Residence.”

“Yes, Sir!”

The soldiers answered in unison.

The sound of hooves echoed as they rode away. Fortunately, the snow had stopped, allowing them to pick up speed. Against the backdrop of the setting sun, the towering spires of the Ducal Residence came into view in the distance. The violet hues of the sunset were breathtakingly beautiful.

“Lyle.”

“Yes?” 

Kadis, who had been silent the entire time, finally spoke.

“I’ve known all along.”

No way. 

Lyla turned her head slightly. Kadis’s silver hair, tinged with the colors of the sunset, swayed in the wind. It was his turn to speak again.

“Lord Kadis?” 

But before he could say more, the body that had been supporting her suddenly swayed. His eyelids fluttered shut, and his crimson eyes were swallowed by darkness.

Kadis collapsed to the ground.

“Kadis…!” 

Lyla frantically reached out to catch him, but he slipped through her grasp far too easily.

Just like sand slipping through her fingers. 

Like happiness that grew more elusive the harder one tried to hold onto it.

***

“Drug.”

The attending physician, having thoroughly examined Kadis’s condition, finally delivered his diagnosis.

“The amount in his system is minimal, so his life isn’t in immediate danger. However, I cannot guarantee when he will regain consciousness.”

This was Kadis, the man who had survived even the most brutal of battlefields. And yet, now he lay motionless on the bed, as lifeless as a corpse.

“How could this be…”

“This doesn’t make any sense.” 

The servants of the Ducal Residence, who had been going about their usual routines, were still in disbelief. The Duke, who had left with a pursuit team, returned unconscious—it was news as shocking as a bolt of lightning from a clear sky.

“By the way, where is the Earl?”

“I heard he returned with the Duke—”

Bang!

At that moment, the door to the bedroom slammed open.

“Huff, huff…” 

All eyes turned to the entrance. Standing there was Earl Lyle, his usually neat hair disheveled. He was out of breath, as if he had run all the way there.

Lyla stumbled into the room, clutching a piece of paper, and approached the physician.

“Please look at this.”

“This is…?”

“These are the ingredients of the durg Kadis consumed. Couldn’t we use this to create an antidote?”

The physician scanned the contents of the paper several times before looking back at Lyla.

According to the physician, the amount of poison Kadis had ingested was so small that it wouldn’t cause the intended mental regression. However, if his unconscious state persisted, even that could not be guaranteed. Determined to find a solution, Lyla had pressured Professor Charlier, who was locked in the dungeon, into revealing the formula.

“With this combination, yes. It should be possible.” 

The physician pulled a book from his bag and flipped through its pages. 

Lyla’s eyes widened as she looked at the book. She recognized the herb illustrated there—it was one she had seen before while descending from the mines. Her father had also regained some of his health thanks to this herb.

“This is known as one of the most effective antidotal herbs. It only grows in the North—”

“I know what herb it is. I’ll search the snowy mountains for it. Everyone else, please check the apothecaries and general stores.”

Lyla addressed the gathered servants.

“What? The snowy mountains?”

“I found this herb in the mountains when I was young. I don’t know if it still grows there, but…”

Now that she had a way to save Kadis, there was no time to hesitate. Lyla glanced at Kadis, who lay on the bed. He looked as though he were peacefully asleep, but in reality, his body was fighting the poison.

‘Please wait for me, Kadis.’ 

Resolving herself, Lyla left the bedroom.

***

“Huff, huff…” 

Lyla climbed the snowy mountains alone. 

The snow was so deep that her feet sank with every step. She trudged on, relying on the light of her lamp, when memories of climbing this mountain with Kadis came to mind.

How many years ago had that been?

‘Hey, Lyle. Are you coming or not?’

‘W-Well, today the snow looks especially beautiful…’

‘Haven’t you seen snow enough times? If we lose the prey, will you take responsibility?’

‘I-I’m sorry!’

Even back then, Lyla had deliberately lagged behind to slow Kadis down.

Lyla hated the snow. 

She had always hated it.

On snowy days, her mother, who was from the East, would always fall ill with a cough. She hated the snowy mountains. They were filled with dangerous beasts, like the bear that had torn Lyle apart.

She hated the North, surrounded by snow and mountains.

She hated it all.

This place only brought despair and sorrow.

And yet, she had followed Kadis up the snowy mountains every time because he loved to hunt.

‘Wow, amazing! You caught it in one shot. As expected of you, Lord Kadis!’

‘Hmph, flattery. …What should I make for you?’

‘Huh?’

‘A scarf? Gloves? What do you want?’

‘You’re giving it to me?’

‘Then why do you think I’ve been through all this trouble, huh?’

‘Oh. In that case… hmm. Would a scarf be nice? No, gloves might be better.’

‘You’re greedier than you look.’

‘Ugh.’

‘Listen. Let’s catch one more. Then we can make both.’

Kadis enjoyed not just hunting but also making something out of his prey and giving it as a gift. At first, Lyla thought it was just a display of his strength. She couldn’t understand why Kadis was so obsessed with hunting back then. She simply thought it was because he was a boy.

Now, she felt like she understood, even if only faintly. Perhaps Kadis had believed that it was one of the few ways he could bring happiness to Lyla with his own strength. Just as she had foolishly believed that leaving him was the only way to protect him.

‘Lord Kadis. I’ve finally realized.’

Happiness had always been close by. It wasn’t that it didn’t exist; she just hadn’t seen it because she was too busy looking away. For her, Kadis had been that happiness.

So why had I kept running away?

How foolish.

If only I had realized my true feelings sooner and conveyed them.

“Ah!”

At that moment, Lyla’s foot slipped. Her body hit the ground and began rolling helplessly down the snow-covered slope. She tumbled for what felt like an eternity before finally coming to a stop against a large tree.

Thud!

But her body was already in shambles.

“Agh… ahhh…”

The cold snow seeped into her clothes. Lyla tried to lift herself, but a sharp pain from her side forced her back down. She raised a trembling hand to wipe her forehead, only to find blood smeared across her fingers from a shallow cut.

“Huff, huff…”

Lyla stared at the blood on her hand, her eyelids quivering. Perhaps she had hit her head, as her consciousness kept fading. She knew this mountain so well that she could navigate it without a map. Yet, here she was.

‘I really am useless on my own…’

She hadn’t even confessed to Kadis that she was a woman.

The thought of Kadis brought tears to her eyes. The overwhelming fear of death gnawed at her fragile spirit.

Her resolve wavered.

It felt as though no hope remained. Only a vast, desolate despair.

At that moment, a blurry figure approached from the distance.

Who could it be? A mountain keeper?

“Lyla!”

“B-Brother? That can’t be…”

“Get up, you fool!”

“Lyle? Is it really you?”

Was I seeing things because I was about to die? 

Her brother, who had died long ago, appeared before her, looking exactly as he had back then.

‘Was Lyle really this small?’

How could someone so small have fought a bear? 

Seeing Lyle shake her awake brought a lump to Lyla’s throat.

“Why are you lying there like an idiot?”

“M-My body… it won’t move…”

“That’s because you think too much.”

When Lyla answered with a sniffle, Lyle let out a deep sigh and crossed his arms.

It was strange. Their conversation felt both connected and disconnected.

Ah, that’s right. This wasn’t reality. Maybe that’s why my brother seemed to say only what I wanted to hear.

Lyla let out a faint laugh and shook her head.

“No, Brother… I think I’m about to die. That’s why… my body won’t move.”

“Lyla. Father is doing well. So is Mother.”

“Haha. Really? I guess I’ll be joining them soon.”

Lyla smiled weakly before bursting into tears.

“I-I don’t… I don’t want to go yet. I can’t. I have to save Kadis…”

Tears streamed down her cheeks.

“I’m sorry, Brother. I’ve messed everything up. I couldn’t even keep the promise I made to you. But I can’t leave Kadis. Not now, when I’ve finally accepted my feelings. What should I do? Brother, I’m not ready…”

Looking back, it wasn’t to preserve her family’s memory that she pretended to be Lyle. Her true reason lay elsewhere.

She lacked the courage to live as Lyla.

She didn’t trust herself to stand on her own.

She had chosen to hide forever in her brother’s shadow.

She was…

I’m a disappointed. Lyla, is this all you amount to? 

That day, when she climbed the snowy mountain to gather herbs for her father, it should have been her who died, not Lyle.

I’m sorry, Brother.

It seems my time stopped the day I lost you.

Lyle, who had been listening quietly, reached out and gently patted his grown-up sister’s head.

“I’ll help you.”

“Huh…?”

“Let’s meet again, much later, Lyla. Be happy on earth. With the one you love. Promise me?”

Lyle slowly rose to his feet.

Brother? Brother. Brother…!

Lyla wanted to call out to him as he walked away.

No, she wanted to scream. But her body wouldn’t obey. Her eyelids grew heavier, and her lips felt as though they had been sealed shut.

‘Get a hold of yourself, Lyla. For Kadis’s sake!’

Lyla clenched her fist.

She tried to hold on, thinking only of Kadis until the very end.

Thud.

Snow that had been resting on a branch fell onto Lyla’s head.

“Gasp!”

Lyla, who had fainted, inhaled sharply and opened her eyes.

She groped at the ground and managed to sit up. Before losing consciousness, she hadn’t been able to move a single finger, but now her body felt strangely light.

Lyla picked up the lantern that had fallen to the ground and illuminated her surroundings.

The world was shrouded in darkness. Yet, the biting cold that had pierced her skin earlier now felt oddly warm. A mild night breeze—it was rare for such a thing to happen. How strange.

‘I wonder if the others found the herb.’

If they searched all the apothecaries and general stores, they would likely find it by tomorrow at the latest.

Even so, her impatience had driven her to act first.

‘I almost caused trouble again. But still…’

A person’s life is irreplaceable.

There are no second chances.

Not for her mother, her father, or her brother.

“I can’t lose Kadis as well…”

Tears streamed down Lyla’s face. She comforted herself with the thought that she hadn’t been gravely injured and raised her head.

“…What?”

Before her eyes was the very herb she had been desperately searching for.

It was where Lyle had stood.

Lyla rubbed her tears away with the back of her hand. Even after opening her eyes again, the herb remained there.

It wasn’t an illusion.

“Brother…”

Lyla carefully cradled the herb her brother had found for her and began her descent from the snowy mountain.