Part 33

“I think you’re pushing yourself too hard.”

Seowoo felt a bit perplexed by the worried remark.

Who’s pushing too hard?

It was actually more physically demanding than it should have been, with him jumping on her every chance he got.

“Why that expression?”

Jiwook looked at her with a puzzled expression.

“Are you really asking because you don’t know?”

“Huh?”

He genuinely seemed clueless.

After telling her to shower at the hotel, in truth, he had other plans in mind. Once on the bed, then again while showering. They had s*x three times in the short time they spent together today.

Even after that, seeing his body not tired at all, Seowoo couldn’t help but marvel.

How is his stamina like that? It was truly astonishing.

“Are you saying it’s because of me?”

Jiwook bent down, meeting her gaze.

Earlier, Seowoo, who had just come out of the shower, sat on the bed with a towel wrapped around her body. Water droplets still fell from her drenched hair.

‘Your makeup is all gone.’

He smirked mischievously. Seowoo gazed at him, as if entranced by that smile.

Sometimes, when Jiwook smiled like that, it felt like they were back in their twenties. She felt like she was facing the Jiwook of then, who was so different from now.

‘It’s because of you, Sunbae.’

Seowoo narrowed her eyes and pursed her lips.

Her lips had lost their color from Jiwook’s sucking, and her face had lost all makeup from his licking.

She hadn’t brought any cosmetics with her, and now she was at a loss for how to go in like this.

Surely Seung-min would find it strange…

“You.”

“…?”

“Why do you keep calling me ‘Sunbae’? You didn’t used to call me that.”

When they were younger, he was “Oppa,” then he was “Sunbae” during her freshman year. And when they got a bit closer, she started calling him “Oppa” again.

Since their reunion, she hadn’t found an appropriate title. “Oppa” felt a bit uncomfortable and a little too familiar, so she couldn’t bring herself to use it.

“Just…”

Seowoo trailed off, her black pupils rolling. Jiwook, who had been watching quietly, grabbed her delicate shoulders and spoke.

“Eat before going in. You’ve lost more weight.”

He said as he pulled on his shirt and filled his cufflinks.

She’d started a new drama and skipped meals. Her already slender waist had become even smaller. Seowoo pursed her lips, barely holding back a comment.

“Why?”

She looked like she had something to say, so Jiwook lowered his gaze for a moment and looked back at her.

“Am I eating alone?”

“I have a meeting. I just came out for a moment.”

“……Then I’m not going to eat either.”

She didn’t want to sit alone in the hotel room and eat.

Well, to be honest, she hated eating alone more than anyone else. Ever since her mother, Yoon-rim, passed away and Yongjae was busy with work, Seowoo always had to prepare and eat meals alone.

Since then, Seowoo has developed a habit of skipping meals whenever she’s alone.

At her response, Jiwook furrowed his brow.

“Don’t do that, eat before you go.”

“…….” 

Seowoo didn’t answer and got off the bed.

She wondered why she felt so embarrassed, even though they had been so intimate this whole time.

Unlike him, who was fully dressed, she felt embarrassed standing n*ked under the bright lights. Seowoo turned away from him and began to dress herself.

As she reached for her blouse, her hand was caught by Jiwook.

“What’s bothering you now?”

“It’s nothing.”

She knew Jiwook was extremely busy, with every second counting.

Since that day, she also knew that whenever they contacted each other and met, it would always end with only physical intimacy.

A relationship without any definition, just for s*x.

But the more they had s*x, the bigger her feelings for him grew, which was the problem. She had already liked him to some extent, but her now overwhelming feelings were something she couldn’t control.

She didn’t want to cling to someone who didn’t care, so Seowoo swallowed her words as she twisted her wrist to pull away and continued dressing.

“Ha.”

He let out a sigh. Lifting his wrist, he looked at his watch and dialed a number.

“Let’s postpone the meeting for half an hour, no, an hour.”

At his sudden change in attitude, Seowoo’s actions momentarily stopped.

“I’ll be in as soon as I can, just make sure to pass it on.”

After the brief call ended, he approached Seowoo and grabbed her chin, looking directly into her eyes.

“Is that okay now?”

His voice sounded arrogant, as if he was implying that this was what she wanted.

“…….”

But Seowoo remained silent.

Jiwook’s brow furrowed at her continued silence.

“What’s the problem?”

“…….”

“If you don’t want to, just say so. I’ll take you home.”

He looked away and picked up his tie.

“Ah.”

As he was tying his tie, something seemed to occur to him, and he spoke up.

“‘You’ll be doing a cosmetics advertisement this time.”

“…Why all of a sudden?”

Her face crumpled in an instant from the nonchalance she’d been trying to put on. Jiwook’s eyebrows rose stiffly as he read her expression.

“Yoon Seowoo.”

“I don’t want to ……I don’t want you to do that. I can do that by myself… I don’t need your help.”

She said urgently and quickly pulled on her clothes. 

Why are my hands so slippery? Ugh.

As she quickly buttoned up her shirt, she sighed softly, as if blaming herself.

Despite feeling uneasy about their relationship and the constant discomfort it brought her, nothing felt worse than being stabbed in the heart by words.

Finally buttoning up her shirt, she grabbed her bag with a face that looked like she was about to cry.

“Wait.”

“I’m leaving.”

“Yoon Seowoo!”

Even as he yelled out, Seowoo continued walking towards the door, changing into her shoes.

‘If you need someone to look out for you as a sponsor, I’ll do it.’

On the day they met again.

The words Jiwook said suddenly crossed her mind.

This is the worst. 

As she quickly left the room, Jiwook blocked her way, standing in front of her.

“What the hell is wrong with you?”

He asked, sounding genuinely confused.

Seowoo didn’t even meet his gaze, instead fixing her eyes on his tie. She clutched her handbag tightly and gritted her teeth to keep from crying.

As big as her feelings. No, she didn’t even expect that much. She just hoped for a little bit of attention from him. But it seemed even that was too much to ask for.

Why does this hurt so much? 

Seowoo, momentarily holding her breath, lifted her gaze.

“I don’t want to do it.”

Jiwook carefully examined her face.

Her eyes were wet, and her pupils were trembling slightly.

“Tell me. Why are you like this?”

“It’s the payment.”

“What?”

“I’d rather just have a partner.”

As payment for sleeping with him: dramas, advertisements, and variety shows.

She didn’t want anything like that.

If they were just partners, they could console each other by enjoying themselves together. If she ended up receiving anything from him in this manner, it would truly make her feel like cheap goods.

“Ha.”

He closed his eyes tightly and put a hand to his forehead, finally realizing what she was so annoyed about.

“My shooting schedule… It’s almost done, so I’d better go.”

“Talk to me before you go.”

Ignoring Jiwook’s words, Seowoo swiftly passed by his side.

***

“Seowoo, congratulations!”

“Thank you, Jung-ah.”

The K Art Awards ceremony had ended. It was an event where awards were given to producers and actors who had excelled in TV, film, and theater over the past year.

Seowoo received the Best Supporting Actress award for her performance in a drama last year.

“Of course. I knew Yoon Seowoo would win.”

“I’m still a bit overwhelmed. I was lucky, that’s all.”

She hadn’t really expected it, considering the tough competition among the nominees. It felt like she was walking on clouds, dazed.

To win a supporting actress award at such a prestigious arts event.

The moments of effort she had put in flashed before her eyes.

“Even though I’d like to celebrate with a drink, we have filming tomorrow again. It’s better to go and rest.”

Seung-min said, pressing the accelerator.

It was already past midnight. Although she was in the midst of filming a drama, she had managed to clear her schedule for today.

“That’s too bad.”

“It’s fine. Let’s have a drink.”

Jung-ah also wore a disappointed expression. Seowoo said she was okay, but Seung-min shook his head firmly.

“What’s okay about it? Seowoo has to be on set again tomorrow morning at 7 am. Go get some sleep.”

“Yeah, you’re right. Besides, you’ve seemed really tired lately.”

Shortly after they started filming, the show aired.

While it had the advantage of being able to gauge real-time reactions, it also meant that filming had to be conducted in real-time as well.

“Come on, go inside. Get some good rest for a few hours and come back out. Next time we have a chance, we’ll let you stay out.”

“I’m really okay…”

Seowoo looked disappointed.

Her eyes sank low as she looked out the window.