Part 2

4 years ago.

[My Daughter, Byul.]

Jiwook’s gaze fell on the small name tag on the tree.

A tag made only with a prenatal nickname, without a proper name.

Jiwook couldn’t even begin to imagine what Seowoo’s heart must have gone through as she made it alone. Seeing her handwriting pressed deeply into the tag felt like a punch to his heart.

After dropping Seowoo off at the hospital, where she collapsed after losing her child, Jiwook headed straight to the memorial park.

“…”

Holding a bouquet of white chrysanthemums, his face was filled with despair.

The whole way there, he felt so dazed, as if he was in a dream or reality had become blurred. Now that he was actually seeing it, the reality began to sink in.

Jiwook slowly bent his knees in front of the tree and sat down.

He set down the bouquet of chrysanthemums and gently swept the soil with his trembling hand.

“Why…”

Jiwook clenched his eyes shut and gritted his teeth. He had never imagined such a thing could happen while he was away on a business trip. 

He felt guilty for not being there for her, for letting her go through everything alone.

And the guilt of sending their daughter away without being able to do anything about it.

Closing his eyes, the corners of Jiwook’s eyes grew wet.

‘It’s a girl.’

‘I would have been happy with a daughter… but… I wonder if you…’

Her face, as she spoke of the baby’s gender, was filled with anxiety.

Like she had sinned.

Due to his gruff nature, he had never even spoken the common words of affection to her during her pregnancy.

His broad shoulders shook as he bowed his head.

“…Sorry. Ha…ha..”

If I’d known it was going to be like this, I would have been a little nicer. 

Jiwook’s voice was thick with emotion.

“I’m sorry, Byul.”

Speaking his daughter’s nickname out loud for the first time unleashed all the suppressed emotions. 

He had never accompanied Seowoo to the hospital after her initial pregnancy confirmation, always excusing himself as being too busy. 

Every moment was now tainted with regret.

He couldn’t shake off the feeling that it was his fault this had happened. Jiwook found it hard to leave that place even after a long time.

***

“Ms. Seowoo collapsed during their shooting and has been hospitalized.”

It was right after a meeting when Jiwook had just returned to his office that Cheol-hoon urgently informed him about Seowoo’s condition. 

‘She had collapsed while shooting at the amusement park. It was unclear whether it was due to illness or overexertion.’

Cheol-hoon suggested that the situation would be clearer once he visited her, prompting Jiwook to head straight to the hospital.

“How much did you cry…”

Jiwook muttered to himself as he looked at her sleeping face. Her face was a mess from crying and seeing her swollen eyes pained his heart. 

When he arrived at the hospital and went up to the VVIP room, Jung-ah was by Seowoo’s side.

She gave him a contemptuous look as he approached.

“I’ll stay by her side.”

“With what right? Please leave.”

“Jung-ah.”

“Do you know why Seowoo ended up like this today? Since you’re already divorced, please stop making it hard for her and just stop coming around.”

Jung-ah’s harsh words continued until Seung-min arrived. His expression was also displeased upon seeing Jiwook. 

After a moment’s hesitation, Seung-min left only a brief word of request for Seowoo’s care before taking Jung-ah with him.

Seeing her hospitalized, memories of the past resurfaced—when she had been hospitalized after losing Byul.

“…”

Jiwook took her hand, now pierced with an IV needle. His gaze lingered on the thin, scarred back of her hand.

Jiwook caressed the scar with his thumb.

“Only scars.”

A bitter smile formed on Jiwook’s lips.

From childhood till now.

All he had ever given her were scars.

Physical scars, emotional scars. The thought that he had never created any good memories for her made his heart constrict.

“Ha.”

He took a deep breath and gripped Seowoo’s hand tightly.

‘The scene today involved losing a young child actor. They filmed for an hour searching for the child, and she kept crying until she fainted… She has been overworking lately and seems very weakened. They’re going to do more tests, and I’ll update you as soon as the results are out.’

Cheol-hoon’s report echoed in his head.

Seeing her still living in guilt after sending away their child makes his heartache.

He told her it wasn’t her fault, but she always blamed herself. She has lived like that even when he wasn’t around.

So, it seems that today, too, she ended up collapsing from crying.

“I’m sorry.”

Jiwook finally opened up about his true feelings. Seowoo was still asleep, her eyes closed tight.

‘There are multiple reasons, but I also thought a lot about my daughter, who passed away… After filming the drama, maybe I could let go of some painful memories. I wanted to feel a bit more at ease now, so I made this choice.’

The reason she decided to come back.

He remembered her being interviewed at the drama promotion. Watching her calmly share her feelings, Jiwook understood.

Now he knows that Seowoo is really determined to let Byul go completely.

That’s why she was living so fiercely.

Still struggling like this.

“When will you ever find peace?”

Seeing her suffering, he felt helpless because he couldn’t offer any comfort, and it was distressing to watch her struggle alone.

Jiwook’s gaze fell somberly as he looked at Seowoo.

Then, her forehead slightly creased in her tranquility. Seeing her in pain, Jiwook momentarily stood up.

“…Huh.”

Was she dreaming?

Even in her sleep, her expression seemed tormented.

Soon, a sob escaped her lips. Unable to just watch, Jiwook gently shook her fragile shoulders and called her.

“Seowoo. Yoon Seowoo.”

“Ha, huhu.”

“Seowoo. Wake up.”

“…Ha. Ha.”

Shaking her a bit harder, Seowoo gasped and opened her eyes. As she caught her breath looking at the ceiling, tears filled her eyes once again.

Holding back tears, she sobbed quietly. Jiwook lifted her upper body and hugged her.

“Huhu. Hmmp.”

Her fragile little body was trembling.

“Ha.”

Jiwook hugged her a bit tighter, and her sobs deepened. As he gently stroked her back, he spoke.

“It’s okay.”

“Hmph.”

“It’s okay.”

Please be okay.

Please feel better, unburdened. 

Jiwook comforted her for a long time until her tears stopped.

***

“You should go.”

“I’ll go after you eat.”

A conflict erupted over a bowl of porridge.

Jiwook wanted to feed her, but Seowoo refused to eat.

Neither was willing to give in; they just repeated the same words.

After calming down from her crying, breakfast arrived. Seeing it, Seowoo immediately said she wouldn’t eat, but Jiwook wouldn’t back down either.

“Just eat five spoonfuls.”

“…”

As Seowoo turned away and tried to lie down again, Jiwook grabbed her wrist. Then, with the other hand, he scooped up a spoonful of porridge and brought it to her mouth.

Seowoo looked at him as if he was being absurd.

“If you don’t want me to feed you…”

“What kind of nonsense is that?”

“So just eat.”

She didn’t know why he was here, and she didn’t know why he had the nerve to insist on doing this.

When Seowoo stared back at him with a crinkled brow, Jiwook locked eyes with him and opened his mouth.

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

He was right.

Jiwook had always been known for his indifference, almost to the point of being synonymous with it. 

Yet here he was, spoon in hand, ready to feed her. She wondered if this was a dream.

Seowoo closed her eyes tightly and then opened them again to look at him.

“It’s not a dream.”

As if reading her mind, he spoke.

“Let me watch you eat, and when you’re done, I’ll leave.”

He wasn’t budging an inch. Jiwook knew well that she tended to lose weight, especially during shoots because she hardly ate when she was stressed.

And now, perhaps due to the emotional strain as well, she looked even thinner than she had at the start of the shoot. It was visibly concerning.

“It’s uncomfortable, you being in front of me while I eat.”

“Do you really hate seeing me that much?”

She bit her lip, avoiding an answer, and Jiwook’s brows drew together.

“I guess that’s really how you feel.”

“You’re busy, so just go back. It’s just me overworking myself, nothing to fuss about.”

Fortunately, the shooting had ended before she collapsed.

She wondered if it was the release of tension after the shoot that made her collapse. After a deep sleep, she felt somewhat refreshed.

If only Jiwook wasn’t making her so uncomfortable by being in front of her.

Seowoo averted her gaze from him and looked out the window, a small sigh escaping her lips. She just wished he would leave like this.