VOLUME 4

Part 1

Jiwook’s hand is covered in blood as he grips the glass.

He was so drunk that he couldn’t even feel the pain.

Thud.

He slams the glass down on the table, picks up the whisky bottle, and fills the glass to the brim.

‘When I saw how nice he was to Haewon, I thought to myself during the whole shoot, of how I wished someone like him, so sweet, could be my child’s father.  To someone like that……It must be nice to be a loved woman.’

The words Seowoo had said kept echoing in his mind.

Staring into his glass, Jiwook’s gaze sank low. He thought he could hear anything because those words were probably said just to get away from him.

But those words ache his heart so much.

“A loved woman…”

Jiwook muttered as he took another sip of the alcohol.

He tried to understand it as his own karma, but those words were etched in his mind and wouldn’t go away.

He had never stopped loving Seowoo, but it seemed his feelings didn’t reach her.

‘You’re your mother’s blood, too, and I hate you for it.’

If he himself felt this horrible, he couldn’t imagine how Seowoo must have felt. And if she found out that Myeong-hye, his own mother, had even deliberately caused an accident to get a divorce, it would be irreparable. Jiwook himself also never wanted to see Myeong-hye again.

“…Haa.”

He sighed deeply and picked up the ring case he’d set aside.

Opening the lid, a sparkling diamond caught his eye, and a bitter smile tugged at the corners of his mouth.

He had dreamed so many times of the moment when he would propose to her with all his heart.  He had imagined countless times how she would react when she saw this ring.

‘I keep thinking about that moment, lying alone in the delivery room, going through labor, waiting for your call. Crying as I said goodbye to our child.’

Where did it all go wrong?

It was all because of his own shortcomings. Even if Myeong-hye had intervened, if he had given her assurance, it wouldn’t have turned out this way.

Every moment was tainted with regret.

Thud.

He closed the case lid and put it back inside his jacket. Then he tilted his head back and poured the alcohol into his mouth directly.

The corners of his eyes watered as he stared blankly into space.

***

“This is delicious. You should try some too. It’s a little spicy, but it’s a tasty spicy flavor. You just keep wanting to eat more.”

“…”

“The food here is really good. Let’s come again next time.”

Seowoo scooped up a big spoonful of rice and shoved it into her mouth. From the moment the food came out, no, from the moment they met, Seowoo had been chattering endlessly.

Jung-ah stared at her in bewilderment at how different Seowoo was from her usual self.

“Shall we order another bowl of rice?”

“Yoon Seowoo.”

“Hm?”

“Did you break up with Kwon Jiwook?”

“…”

Seowoo’s chopstick movements paused for a moment. But she soon picked up the fried smelts and took a big bite.

“This fried smelts is really savory too. You should try it. If you’re not going to eat it, I’ll finish it all.”

“If you’re having a hard time, just say so. Don’t forcibly act like you’re fine.”

“…”

“For someone who acts so well, why are you so bad at pretending like this? It’s so obvious, you know.”

At Jung-ah’s keen observation, Seowoo tightly closed her lips and bitterly smiled as she chewed the food.

She couldn’t stay alone at home.

Depressing thoughts kept entering her head, causing her to burst into tears.

A few years ago, after divorcing him, she went through this for a long time. And now, she was back to square one again.

When will I be okay, when will I be able to forget him?

How long would it take this time?

“Cough. Cough.”

As she kept eating forcibly, she eventually choked. Covering her mouth, she coughed repeatedly, and Jung-ah handed her a cup of water and a napkin.

“Don’t choke. Here, drink this.”

“Cough.”

After gulping down the water, Seowoo looked at Jung-ah, who looked at her with worry-filled eyes.

“Are you okay?”

“I don’t think I am.”

“Then why did you break up with him if you were going to struggle so much?”

Although Jung-ah still disliked Jiwook, she knew Seowoo still loved him very much. Just looking at Seowoo’s face now, she could tell.

Seowoo looked so fragile, as if a touch would make her burst into tears.

“Really, you make love so difficult.”

Jung-ah clicked her tongue and shook her head.

She couldn’t understand what was going on in their hearts that made them both end up like this for years.

While only the couple truly knows their situation, it is full of incomprehensible aspects.

“Then why don’t you just get back together? Honestly, I think it’s better if you break up because I really don’t like him, but the most important thing is that you’re not suffering.”

“No. I really think it’s time to stop now.”

“Do you think you can?”

Seowoo had to.

Partly because of Myeong-hye, but the biggest reason was the children in her belly. She had wanted to tell him that day, but because Myeong-hye suddenly showed up, she hadn’t been able to bring it up until now.

“I have to. I can do it.”

“Will Kwon Jiwook agree to it?”

“Jung-ah.”

“Yes.”

“I’m pregnant.”

At Seowoo’s words that she was pregnant, Jung-ah’s face hardened immediately. Blinking her eyes repeatedly, Jung-ah picked up the water cup next to her and gulped down the water.

“Are you sure?”

“…Yes.”

Ha.

Jung-ah tightly closed her eyes and let out a sigh.

It was like a déjà vu, the same situation as five years ago.

“So what are you going to do? Does Kwon Jiwook know?”

“…No, he doesn’t.”

“Again, he doesn’t know.”

“I’ll just… do it alone…”

“No, are you really this foolish? Why aren’t you telling him! He has to know.”

Back then, Jung-ah had to step in because Seowoo was being so frustratingly difficult.

Jung-ah didn’t really want to butt into her friend’s love life, but she couldn’t just sit and watch her friend, who was like family to her, raise a child alone.

And now, she was back to square one again.

“I really don’t want to be involved with that family.”

“So you’re planning to raise the child alone again? Don’t do that, at least tell him.”

“No. There’s no need for that, and I don’t plan to.”

“Do I have to tell him again?”

Seowoo shook her head vigorously. She took the napkin and wiped the corners of her mouth, looking at Jung-ah.

“Please, just let it go this time. Don’t tell him.”

“Agh, this is so frustrating.”

It’s so frustrating. Jung-ah kept sighing and furrowing her brows.

“I also have to tell Seung-min oppa… I don’t know what to do, I’m sorry.”

It’s been a difficult comeback, and now, it seemed like she would have another break as soon as she finished one project. She wanted to manage the postponed schedules as much as possible after the show ended, but she was also worried since she was expecting twins. She was afraid that pushing herself too hard might cause complications.

“Who are you worrying about now? Is this really the time for you to be worrying about Seung-min oppa?”

“I just feel bad.”

“Seriously… You make me so frustrated. You’re too nice for your own good.”

Jung-ah clicked her tongue.

Seowoo’s gentleness and kindness always seemed to lead her to this state. In the end, she’s suffering alone without telling Jiwook again, and Jung-ah’s heart aches.

“Why is it that you always end up suffering alone when you both made the child? It’s just too unfair. I can’t ever see that guy in a good light.”

“It’s my fault.”

My fault for not being able to cut him off and falling for him again.

No, it was my fault for never forgetting him. Pathetically, at this moment, I miss him so much.

Seowoo laughed bitterly, and Jung-ah rolled her eyes and pushed the food in front of her.

“Are you having any morning sickness?”

“No, not at all.”

“Eat, come on. If you want anything, just tell me. I’ll get it for you.”

Tears welled up in the corners of her eyes at her friend’s affectionate words. Seowoo smiles weakly and picks up her chopsticks again.

“You’re the only one I have.”

“You’re just realizing that now? Anyway, it’s a relief you’re not having morning sickness.”

“Yeah, it’s a real relief.”

“Sigh.“

Seowoo bitterly smiled and started forcing herself to eat the food in front of her.

She needed to eat well and stay strong to protect the two precious lives growing inside her. 

She steeled herself against her wavering emotions.