A flicker of hope blossomed in a corner of my heart at the thought that he hadn’t abandoned me, but rather couldn’t return because of his status.

“It’s been quite a while. Is it okay for you to stay out this long? Shouldn’t you go back to the banquet hall?”

“It’s fine. I was starting to feel stifled anyway. It was hard finding an excuse to leave.”

Bel murmured softly, then leaned back on the bench and closed his eyes. His temperament seemed unchanged—still disliking formal occasions.

I sat quietly, absorbing Bel’s voice that resonated softly like a whisper. Every time I heard that intoxicating voice laced with subtle pheromones, shivers ran down my spine.

“Bel, I missed you. Not in a romantic way, but purely, without ulterior motives.”

I smiled, pretending to be mature just as he had done.

“Yes, I missed you too.”

His dry response, coming after a long pause, seeped into my heart. It felt like a confirmation shot to the pointless hope I had harbored moments ago. It’s okay—this must be one of the ways adults conduct relationships.

The kind where only bodies intertwine. Where people turn away mercilessly after a night of pleasure and become strangers again. The kind of casual relationship where people meet again, exchange pleasantries with easy smiles, and then drift apart.

“How old are you?”

For the first time ever, I asked his age.

After a long silence, he answered, “Twenty-two.”

Somehow, it felt like a lie.

“Really? You’re not lying like you did about your name?”

“I never lied about Bel being my name. I told you from the beginning it was an alias. You… must have gone through your coming-of-age ceremony this year.”

He still won’t admit his real age. I fiddled with Bel’s hood wrapped tightly around my waist and nodded.

Seeing the lanterns in the garden going out one by one, it seemed we would need to return to the palace soon. I was about to suggest heading back when I swallowed quietly and chose my words carefully.

“Would you like to go inside and talk more?”

I felt his gaze studying me. Oh dear, had I been too obvious about wanting to stay together?

“Do you have a place where we can talk away from prying eyes?”

“No, there’s no such place within the imperial palace.”

“Then walking would be better.”

There was a small walking path behind the rear garden that followed a rose thicket. I followed Bel as he led the way and casually asked:

“Don’t you need to return to your lodgings? Someone might be looking for you.”

“I don’t mind. But what about you? Can you stay out here? Everyone seemed busy with the closing festivities.”

Of course not… but I planned to play hooky for just one hour. I shrugged my shoulders and responded with deliberate cheerfulness before taking the lead.

“I don’t particularly mind either.”

Bel smiled faintly at my excited demeanor. Gaining a bit of courage, I approached him, gently grasped two of his fingers, and pulled him toward the entrance of the walking path.

“Still, it would be troublesome if others spotted us, so let’s quickly head deeper inside.”

We walked along the maze-like path, venturing deep into the garden.

Having held back for some time, Bel asked my permission and chewed on a kamora cigarette. Kamora, sometimes called the devil’s drug for its tremendous addictiveness, produces smoke when inhaled like tobacco. Each time Bel exhaled, light purple mist spread around us.

I had heard from the Princess that early kamora was rumored to be made from condensed blood and demonic energy of ancient demons, giving it various effects: stimulation, anesthesia, arousal, hallucination, hypnosis, and more.

Of course, nowadays only low-risk kamora with mild stimulant and excitatory properties is commercially available. Perhaps Bel habitually chewed kamora because of its stimulant effect for his work?

Sniffing the sweet scent, I sat down in a gazebo covered with rose vines.

“Bel, I’m sorry for bringing up what happened six months ago, but after you left, I realized what adult relationships are about.”

“Adult?”

“The fact that you can enjoy physical relationships without love, and without coercion.”

I declared in a solemn voice, like a monk who had completed a profound meditation.

“Is that what you think adult relationships are?”

I heard a laugh that sounded like air escaping from lungs. It wasn’t mocking, just a laugh tinged with mild curiosity about why I thought that way.

“Not entirely, but it’s one approach, that’s what I mean.”

Slightly embarrassed by his reaction, I quickly added.

“Why do you think that?”

“I used to believe that only romantic couples or lifelong spouses could share a bed. But I realized people can simply sleep together and walk away without attachment. Besides, s*xual relations are only permitted for those who’ve completed their coming-of-age ceremony.”

My logic was extremely simple.

“I see.”

Bel fell silent briefly before parting his smoke-wreathed lips. His intensely red lips, eerie yet sensual, traced an alluring curve in the moonlight.

“Well… Does becoming an adult physically make one truly grown up? Are you telling me your fantasy has been shattered?”

“That’s not what I meant. I’m just saying that everything was a first with you.”

I deliberately didn’t mention that it happened when I was sixteen. I didn’t want to call that experience my first. I had always considered those pleasurable moments with him as my true first time in every sense.

“First?”

Just like when we first met, Bel’s eyes remained unreadable. That’s why I was always curious about what this man was thinking. Even after he left, I couldn’t forget him and thought of him often.

What did Bel think of me?

He was mysterious, like the faint light of dawn breaking. Even when making light jokes or skillfully flirting with honeyed words, or showing a detached attitude like someone who had lived for thousands of years—I could never tell what he was thinking.

“Vivi, what did you think adult relationships were before meeting me?”

“Hmm. Far from innocence, more serious and mature… something like that?”

Is that right?

“Caring for each other like your own body and firmly trusting each other? And of course, frequent physical intimacy when dating?”

“Is that all?”

“Actually, I’m not sure.”

“I see.”

Bel gazed steadily at my intimidated appearance and slowly opened his mouth. The fresh scent of grass overlaid with Bel’s kamora fragrance spread a sweet aroma around me.

“Anyway, that’s what I thought adult love was.”

My own statement felt like a puzzling riddle even to myself. Bel, who had been silently listening to my declaration, smiled thinly with amusement.

“Isn’t it a bit funny to talk about love after spending just one night together? But Vivian, I never treated you with falsehood. Some might say what’s the big deal about being honest with a woman you’ve slept with, but none of that matters—I was sincere.”

Still difficult words to interpret. They seemed like glib wordplay yet also like an unfiltered confession of his inner feelings.

Of course, few people at the party where I first met Bel would have mixed bodies hoping for a long relationship, but it still upset me.

One more thing I realized was that Bel’s way of speaking tended to be direct, seemingly unfiltered like Lucifer’s. Yet the difference between them was that Bel’s meaning remained difficult to grasp.

“Vivian, do you still like me?”

“…”

“If that’s what you want to hear in return, I feel similarly. I can’t call it love, but I liked you, and even after returning to Helcamber, I thought of you occasionally. Whether you believe it or not is your choice.”

“Then why did you pretend not to know me when we met in the garden?”

“I came back, didn’t I?”

His expression remained calm, almost eerily so. My back hunched at Bel’s voice, which sounded almost coldly detached. Despite having the cloak covering my legs, my body trembled.

“Ah, perhaps you’re hoping for a passionate end-of-century romance, like in fairy tales passed down among humans? Since I’m from an enemy country, it’s not an impossible story.”

“N-no, I’m not!”

Bel chuckled at my flustered response. Wait, what did he mean by “among humans”?

I decided not to think too deeply about Bel’s sincerity. Instead, I nodded blankly, like a puppet with its strings cut.

Though his answer seemed forced, Bel said he liked me too, so what did it matter? I had heard the words I’d longed for, yet I didn’t feel as elated as I’d expected.

So I quickly brightened my expression and told a natural-sounding lie.

“Why are you deciding things on your own? Who said I still like you like before?”

“Do you dislike me?”

“No, it’s not that, but I don’t particularly like you either.”

“That’s fine. As long as you don’t hate or despise me, whatever you say won’t change my feelings, so it doesn’t matter.”

My attempt at a verbal dagger seemed to have no effect on him whatsoever.

“So you’re saying we can go back to our previous relationship anytime as long as I don’t dislike you.”

Whether Bel’s claim that his feelings for me remained unchanged was true or false, I honestly felt good about it. Despite my insistence that I didn’t like him, he didn’t seem to believe me.

‘He’s really full of himself.’

For someone who casually played with people’s hearts, Bel’s expression remained unchanged.

After pondering, I suddenly mumbled in a casual tone, appearing to remember something:

“Oh, what should I do?”

“What is it?”

Bel tossed away his finished kamora and turned his head at my troubled voice.

“Prince Kenneth ordered me to come to his bedroom tonight.”

“…”

“Since no one has come to fetch me yet, he might have forgotten. Perhaps I should go see him directly?”

Bel pulled out a second kamora from his pocket and chewed it vigorously. He continued chewing until the dreamy smoke spread so thickly that it became difficult to make out his face.

“Do you enjoy that so much? It must be incredibly addictive.”

“I told you before.”

“What?”

“That it makes you feel good when doing it after smoking. I must have mentioned it several times.”

He gripped my wrist with meaningful intensity. A chilling laugh transmitted through our touching skin. I wasn’t oblivious to what he wanted from me, but… after staring intently at the devilish smile of Bel whom I once loved so deeply, I lightly brushed his hand away.

“I’m just going home today.”

Keep talking in riddles. This is punishment for confusing me, you jerk.

As expected, he didn’t try to stop me a second time. It had always been me who yearned, not Bel, and this time was no different. But I hadn’t acted with any expectations from him either. I genuinely wanted to go home, that’s why I refused.

Unlike in the past when I had fretted over Bel’s every word and action even during our intimate moments, I now ignored his lingering gaze and calmly left the garden, leaving him behind.