“Momo! What are you thinking about with that blank look?”

“…!”

I snapped back to reality at the call of Ninian, who had been newly hired as the Princess’s attendant a few days ago. My startled reaction, like a child caught misbehaving, prompted Ninian to peer intently into my eyes with a meaningful expression.

“Something’s bothering you, isn’t it?”

“No, nothing like that.”

“Then why have you been so absentminded since last night? You usually move so quickly, but now you’re completely distracted. I’m worried about you.”

Ninian, a sheep beastkin with cotton candy-pink hair and lime-green eyes, had become the Princess’s temporary attendant while I was busy going back and forth to the temple. I had only taught her how to make honey oil and mix aphrodisiacs in the proper ratios for cocktails, along with some precautions, yet she had been following me around and acting quite friendly ever since.

Though sharp-witted, the kind and gentle Ninian knew nothing of the rumors about me and seemed uninterested in them. That must be why she could be so warm toward me.

“I’m certain something happened to you, Momo! My intuition tells me so! I’m positive!”

“Based on what evidence?”

“Your face turns red whenever you space out!”

Was it that obvious? When I blinked my wide-open eyes rapidly, Ninian laughed loudly, having discovered my weakness.

“See, I was right. Come on, be honest and tell me everything. It’s better than keeping it all to yourself.”

Unable to resist her persistent questioning, I hesitated but finally confessed what had happened at the temple the night before. Ninian, herself at a vigorously youthful age just discovering romance, reacted immediately as soon as I uttered my first words.

“What did you two do? So you and the temple slave made eyes at each other and kissed? Secretly in that cramped, dim, intimate temple storage room?”

“Yes. But it’s not worth making such a fuss with all those flowery words…”

“Goodness, you only went that far? Why! Two people in love, alone in a tight space—why on earth didn’t you go further!”

Wait a minute. What exactly were you expecting? Ninian grabbed my collar, clearly disappointed, and pestered me to reveal more.

“Don’t distort things. It wasn’t a kiss, just a light peck. And we’re not in love.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. You committed such a daring act because you have feelings for each other! Momo, he’s a temple slave. Don’t you know that all attendants there must keep their bodies and minds pure? Only the priests can touch the servants. How did you dare to do something so bold…!”

But Narcissus has already been with the Princess— I swallowed the rest of my words and tried to calm Ninian, who demanded to know the man’s name.

I couldn’t share the details of what happened with Narcissus because even I wasn’t certain about it. The kiss felt too sincere to be merely impulsive, yet the moment was too brief to confirm that wasn’t just my imagination.

So why had it been circling in my mind all day? Strangely enough, Narcissus himself seemed perfectly normal afterward, acting like nothing had happened. He simply looked at me with an even more intense gaze while I rolled my eyes in confusion, and then pressed his lips against mine once more.

Though I’d done more intimate things before, I couldn’t sleep that night. Why had Narcissus suddenly acted that way? Could he possibly like me? This thought naturally came first. While many people seek physical relationships purely for pleasure without emotional attachment, Narcissus didn’t seem like that type.

Ah, perhaps he was practicing for what we’d have to do at the ceremony?

Ugh, I sighed, holding my throbbing head. Maybe I should just ask him directly why he did it.

This was my first non-coercive physical contact with a boy my age. While I couldn’t define my feelings from that day, what was certain was that I enjoyed it too.

Romance… between Narcissus and me? Get a grip, you fool!

Just because of one little kiss, my mind was already racing through dating, kissing, and all sorts of wild scenarios. I bit my lip hard, exasperated at myself for letting my imagination run wild when I hadn’t even received a confession.

The laws inside the temple were particularly strict, just like in the imperial palace. The privilege of intimate relations between men and women was granted solely to the High Priest, under the laughable pretext of a “unity ritual for the young and beautiful High Priest’s vigor.”

It was all for show. Nothing more than the corrupt High Priest’s secret indulgence.

Not just the priestesses but even the apprentice priestesses—there probably wasn’t a woman who hadn’t passed through Shahan’s hands. While the women of the imperial palace belonged to the Emperor, all women in the temple were under the High Priest’s domain.

Every single one of them was crazy about Shahan, which was quite remarkable to witness. Even Elpida, a young apprentice priestess who had recently entered the temple, desperately waited for the High Priest to summon her at night.

Fortunately, the slaves rarely caught attention and thus avoided receiving advances.

There was once an incident where a foreign princess fell in love with Shahan at first sight, slept with him, and even proposed marriage. She promised to give him her throne along with many bribes, and when he still wouldn’t yield, she even undressed before him, begging to be taken.

Unable to mistreat a foreign princess, he supposedly shared endless intimacy with her for a whole week, but ultimately the princess couldn’t conceive a child and returned to her homeland.

No one could bear Shahan’s child unless he wished it. A peculiar form of sorcery, if you will.

Ugh, it suddenly gives me chills. It was obvious how cruelly possessive and obsessive Shahan would be if he ever lost his heart to a woman, though he had never felt romantic love before.

Of course, the noble celestial lord would never harbor such “petty emotions reserved for beings less than human”—his own words.

Whoever she might be, I couldn’t help feeling immense pity for the woman who would become Shahan’s wife. Though few women would reject him, of course.

“By the way, Momo, this might seem random, but is that really your true name?”

Ninian, who had been clinging to my side all this time, asked. I shook my head.

“I thought so… The Princess calls you Momo, the High Priest calls you JeJe, and the Commander-in-Chief who occasionally requests an audience calls you Shasha.”

“That’s just how things turned out.”

“Don’t tell me you don’t have a name?”

Her eyes held pure curiosity. They were different from the malicious gazes of those who looked at me saying, “A child born of a pr*stitute doesn’t even deserve a name.”

I stared at Ninian for a moment, then turned my head and parted my lips softly.

“I do have one.”

“Then why don’t you tell anyone?”

When I was found wrapped in cloth by the palace maids, they said my body was marked with strange, incomprehensible writing. Those who intended to report me to the Emperor took pity on the infant and secretly raised me in the kitchen. The markings embedded on my body like a brand mysteriously disappeared the day I first learned to read.

I couldn’t be certain if “that” was my name, but it was clearly written in a language only I could understand.

Instinctively fearing danger if I revealed it, I had kept this name to myself.

So…

“It’s a secret.”

“Come on, that’s not fair! Can’t you at least tell me?”

“Ninian, I’m sorry.”

Ninian was one of the few people who had approached me without ulterior motives. So I answered her with genuine sincerity. The ancient language that had vanished without a trace could make one a criminal simply by uttering its words. I had to be careful.

“So nobody knows your name?”

“No, nobody knows yet. And I don’t plan on telling anyone.”

I murmured while playing with Ninian’s fluffy pink hair, soft like sheep’s wool. Thinking about it made me feel somewhat aggrieved. I wasn’t sad that no one called me by my real name, but it was occasionally confusing.

The Princess’s attendant, Momo.

The Commander-in-Chief’s sister, Shasha.

The High Temple’s slave, JeJe.

The monster’s wife, Lala.

The demon’s bedmate, Vivi.

Everyone called me whatever suited them. I had faithfully fulfilled the roles they desired and demanded of me, and except for a few things, I considered my life not particularly bad. I accepted whatever they called me.

—Momo, would you bring me a cocktail with aphrodisiac?

As the loyal attendant who turned a blind eye to the Princess’s secret indulgences.

—Shasha is now my only family.

As the beloved sister of brother Rictusa, who cherished me dearly.

—JeJe. Don’t mistake my help for compassion or interest or anything else.

As the thorn in the side of the High Priest who tried to instill twisted desires in me.

—Lala will bear my child in six months.

As the girl who received the seed of a young monster after his persistent obsession.

—Vivi, I loved you, but isn’t it ridiculous to talk about love after spending just one night together?

As an outlet for the s*xual desires of a demon who seemed to meet me out of curiosity.

Suddenly, a thought occurred to me. Later, much later, what kind of relationship would Narcissus and I end up having? How would he remain in my single-line memory?

Most likely, we would end up as close friends. Having never had a friend in my entire life, such a relationship would be incredibly precious to me.

Hmm, being a man, Narcissus, who seemed as modest as Rictusa, would probably develop feelings someday. Truthfully, I hadn’t given it much thought until he kissed me yesterday, which sparked these wandering thoughts. Partly because the Princess, my entire world, had brainwashed me with the idea that “there’s no such thing as friendship between men and women.”

Ah, I really don’t know. All I want is a friend I can talk to comfortably about everyday things, go out with to eat delicious food, occasionally gather mushrooms in the mountains—someone I can be completely at ease with.

Is that too much to wish for? I stared blankly at the floor, then shrugged my shoulders and stood up. Though I could perform my daily routine with my eyes closed, today again I had mountains of work to do. I couldn’t afford to be distracted.

“See you tomorrow then! I’m off to work now!”

With Ninian seeing me off, I headed toward the kitchen with determined steps.