Chapter 61

‘I still have to graduate.’

Chase gave a simple answer.

He no longer spoke to her as casually as before, but he seemed to have no trouble going about his daily life.

Without sparing Judith a single glance, he kept his eyes fixed on the blackboard. His face, seen from the corner of her eye, clearly showed boredom.

She felt relieved. It seemed like Chase was erasing Judith’s existence from his life. If that were the case, he wouldn’t have to go through the same pain she did.

At least she wouldn’t become as cruel as Axel.

It was fortunate that she had decided to maintain a cold attitude. Judith calmed her trembling heart.

But after the class ended, Chase called out to Judith.

‘Judith.’

Judith, in the middle of packing her bag, looked up. Her unwavering red eyes met his gaze. Her breath faltered for a moment, but she didn’t show it.

‘Can we take a walk?’

Chase glanced at Rodesha, who was beside him, and added:

‘Just the two of us.’

Was Chase blaming me in his heart right now? Or was he suggesting a walk alone to vent his anger?

And so, she followed him without resistance. Whether it was blame or anger, she was ready to accept whatever Chase wanted.

A silent garden, devoid of even birdsong.

Though Judith’s situation was no different from that of a criminal being led to their punishment, the autumn scenery was beautiful.

Feeling the cool and dry breeze, Chase and Judith walked in silence.

Only the sound of dry leaves crunching underfoot echoed in the stillness.

Judith thought.

Dragging this out any longer wouldn’t do any good. 

She thought it would be better to take the blow first, so she mustered the courage to speak.

‘You can blame me if you want.’

Chase said nothing. He simply kept walking. The sound of leaves crunching under his feet was the only response.

Why isn’t he saying anything? It’s not like he couldn’t hear me because my voice was too soft. Is he just ignoring me?

‘Didn’t you call me here to get mad at me? It’s fine. Do as you wish.’

‘…….’

‘I was prepared for this ever since I decided on the arranged marriage.’

Surely, the reason Chase hesitated to speak was that he found it difficult to say something harsh to her.

From what she had observed, Chase was, deep down, a soft-hearted person. He wasn’t someone who could easily hurt others.

That’s why, even though resentment may have filled his heart, he couldn’t bring himself to show it.

But Chase finally spoke.

‘Why would I be mad at you?’

‘You don’t have to hold it in. I—’

‘I’m not holding it in. I’m just not angry.’

Chase and Judith had always walked side by side. But now, Chase was walking a few steps ahead of her.

So even when she raised her head to look at him, all she could see was his back, not his expression.

‘I can’t be angry at you, Judith.’

His voice, carried by the wind, sounded calm and composed. It was so convincing that it seemed like he truly meant what he said.

‘Then why did you call me?’

Chase, who had been scuffing the dirt with his foot, turned his head slightly. After a brief hesitation, he spoke in a detached tone.

‘I wanted to make a proposal.’

‘……?’

Judith stood still, trying to guess what he was about to say.

No matter how generous Chase was, he couldn’t possibly be happy about his fiancée harboring feelings for another man.

Could he be suggesting that we end our relationship here?

If that were the case, she resolved to accept it without hesitation.

‘You said before that our relationship is purely an arrangement.’

‘…….’

‘That we’re only together to use each other. Do you remember?’

‘……Yes.’

‘So let me ask you.’

When Chase lifted his head slightly, his vivid red eyes came into view.

‘Have I been useless to you as your fiancé?’

‘……No.’

If anything, he had been helpful. He had never caused her any harm.

Being with him had significantly reduced her confrontations with Axel, and over time, she found his easygoing personality so comfortable that she even thought a loveless marriage wouldn’t be so bad.

But using Chase for her own goals was an entirely different matter.

Now that Chase knew everything, now that he had confessed his feelings for her, it felt cruel to expect him to continue playing the same role.

That’s when Chase spoke again.

‘Then wouldn’t our relationship be fine as it is?’

‘……What?’

‘For some reason, you need this engagement, and I like you. If you let me stay by your side like this, nothing would have to change, right?’

‘But then…….’

Wouldn’t that be too unfair to you?

Judith swallowed the words that had risen to her throat. But Chase, continuing to speak, seemed completely unfazed.

‘Anyway, that’s all I wanted to say. Let’s just continue as we are.’

‘…….’

‘Stop worrying about whether I’m okay or not, like you did today. Just do whatever you want.’

Chase finished speaking and looked at her as if to ask what she thought. Her vision blurred again.

Perhaps, Chase, you’re just like me?

After countless waves have swept over you, have your emotions dulled to the point where you can act like nothing’s wrong?

Otherwise, how could you say such things with such a calm face?

How can you not be angry with me after all the cruel things I’ve said?

She had thought Chase was someone who expressed his emotions honestly—someone who got angry when he was upset and cried when he was sad. Unlike herself, who always hid her feelings.

But at some point, he had stopped being honest with his emotions. He was trying not to show his pain or wounds.

Had I broken him?

She was used to being hurt and knew how to cope. But she wasn’t used to hurting others.

Looking at his dazzling silver hair shining in the sunlight, she whispered toward the sturdy figure standing before her.

‘Chase, no…….’

She continued, hoping her voice would sound as composed as possible.

‘I don’t think that’s right.’

* * *

News spread that Student Council President Axel Fedelian was recovering quickly and regaining his strength. Consequently, preparations for the summer party resumed.

Hannah was so excited about the party that she lost sleep every night.

“Judith, look at this.”

Judith, who had been studying for exams at her desk, turned her head. She read the part of the newsletter that Hannah was pointing to.

“A non-alcoholic cocktail bar?”

“Yes, doesn’t it sound fun?”

Judith couldn’t bring herself to ignore Hannah’s sparkling eyes as she looked at her.

So she responded appropriately, pretending to be interested, and continued reading the newsletter with her.

But no matter how much she read, she felt no excitement. Her heart remained empty.

She tried to refocus on her studies, but she couldn’t stop thinking about Chase’s expression the last time she saw him.

His red eyes, bloodshot as if he hadn’t slept, lingered in her mind. He must have been tormented by everything that had happened between them.

In the end, their conversation that day had been inconclusive. She had expressed her desire to break off the engagement, but Chase had given no response.

However, continuing their engagement now didn’t seem right.

Judith had tried several times to write a letter to Madame Fedelian, the mediator, to express her intention to break off the engagement. But each time, she hesitated and put the pen down.

What would Madame Fedelian think if I told her I wanted to end the engagement now? Would she be surprised? Disappointed? Angry?

If she were angry, I’d have to explain myself. I’d say it doesn’t matter who my fiancé is, as long as it’s not Chase. As long as he’s not dragged into my situation, I’d be fine…….

Even knowing all this, she couldn’t bring herself to leave things as they were. She had grown too attached to Chase.

But asking for another fiancé now felt shameless.

And so, as she wavered without coming to a conclusion, time flew by.

Before she knew it, the day of the summer party had arrived.

The girls’ dormitory was bustling. Excited students were busy dressing up and leaving their rooms.

Judith, on the other hand, had prepared herself quickly and was about to leave her room when Hannah, horrified, stopped her.

“Judith, you’re not seriously going to the party dressed like that, are you?”

Judith looked down at herself. Her outfit was simple but neat.

It didn’t seem like there was anything wrong with it, so why was Hannah so alarmed?

Tilting her head in confusion, Judith asked:

“What’s wrong with it? It’s normal.”

“Exactly! That’s the problem. Why would you dress normally for a party?”

With that, Hannah dragged Judith back into the room in an instant. She opened both her and Judith’s wardrobes with determination and declared:

“There’s still some time left. If we just fix your outfit and hair, you’ll be fine.”

Judith could only awkwardly smile as she watched Hannah wiggle her fingers, urging her to surrender herself to her care.