Chapter 79

“Madame.”

Costance called her once more. She was too afraid to turn her head.

Why?

“Costance……”

In shock, she simply called his name.

“Yes.”

With his response, Costance pulled her body into his embrace. Powerlessly drawn in, she found herself facing Irini, sound asleep in his arms.

After having only seen Irini’s suffering face, her heart ached as she now looked at the peaceful expression of the sleeping Irini.

“Ah…”

The reality of Irini’s death hit her all at once. 

Irini, Irini…

Overwhelmed with grief, she clutched Costance’s sleeve tightly.

“Sob…”

It was all her fault. Irini, who could have been happy, had met this fate because of her…

“Ah… sob…”

I should never have brought Irini along in the first place.

Even if I had, I should have left Irini behind in that small village…

Why had I brought her? Why had I dragged her all the way here?

“Benny…”

Costance held her trembling body close. The shock and despair made it hard for her to breathe.

“Sob… Costance…”

If only I had died instead.

〈You must live, Benny.〉

It was only now that she understood her father’s heart. It wasn’t just the fear of parting with Irini. The thought that there could be another separation beyond this one tormented her.

“Ah…”

Her peace had completely crumbled.

Not only had it collapsed, but it had vanished into thin air.

Irini was gone.

* * *

What could have caused Irini’s death?

She combed through every little action she had taken, considering each as a possible cause. Every time, the thought “I shouldn’t have done that…” followed automatically.

But regardless, Irini was gone.

In this unfamiliar village, Irini had met her end.

Unable to hold a proper funeral, she buried Irini’s body in a secluded forest behind the village. There was no grand gravestone—just a single tree branch stuck into the ground…

“…”

And beneath it lay Irini.

“What do I do now…?”

She asked Costance, who stood beside her. Lost in Irini’s death, she wandered aimlessly, forgetting her original intent to travel to the Papal States.

She turned to look at Costance’s face. His darkened expression scared her, but she didn’t mind. She wanted him to be so appalled by her weakened state that he would leave her behind.

“Madame.”

Even so, Costance called her gently. He sat down beside her. The tears she thought had dried up began to flow again.

“Sob… I just want to give up on everything.”

“Benny.”

Costance called her name firmly. The weight of his resolve was evident in the hand he placed on her shoulder.

“I hate everything… I just want to erase all my memories and live like nothing happened.”

“…”

“I’m so tired of losing people, of saying goodbye, of witnessing death right before my eyes.”

She looked directly at Costance.

“Costance.”

He did not avert his gaze from her.

“Even if you don’t mind Vivi Ferren, but being with me, Benny Galinne, isn’t a good idea.”

“Benny.”

“It’s so painful, saying goodbye, experiencing the death of someone right in front of me… I’ve lived like that before. Do you really want to stay by my side, even if it means enduring that kind of pain? Truly?”

It’s not too late.

You can still pretend you don’t know me.

But Costance didn’t budge. His stubbornness to stay by her side, even if it killed him, irritated her now.

“Please! We said we’d be each other’s salvation. Let’s save each other this time too. I’ll let you go, and you let me go…”

“Is that salvation?”

Costance asked her.

A single tear fell from his eye. His bloodshot gaze seemed to scold her.

“Do you really think that’s salvation?”

“…Yes.”

Even Costance, who had been her only salvation, now felt like a weakness.

“To me, it is.”

At her words, Costance gritted his teeth.

“It might be salvation for you, but not for me. …The thing I feared most after Irini’s death was you pushing me away like this.”

“…”

“Right now, Benny, every word you say terrifies me. Even the sight of your lips parting makes me afraid.”

“Then… leave me…”

“Stop.”

Costance covered her mouth.

“…Please stop.”

His voice was strained as if he were squeezing it out. He only held her mouth for a moment before removing his hand and kneeling before her.

“Am I a fool? Yes. I know you’ve been trying to push me away. Even while saying we should stay together, you were always looking for a chance to send me far away!”

Costance spoke through tears. The moment she had dreaded had arrived sooner than she expected.

Seeing Costance in such pain made her want to bite her tongue. She wished someone—anyone—would point a gun at her head and pull the trigger right now.

“Costance.”

“That’s why I was scared. I was scared you’d abandon me. That you’d say it was for my sake, that it was salvation, and push me away.”

Costance grabbed her hand.

“Since I was a child, the abuse I suffered from my father left marks all over my body. People called me a hero, but I didn’t even know if that was a good thing, Benny.”

Costance’s lips trembled.

“I truly didn’t think about anything. I just lived as things came and went…”

His head rested on the back of her hand. The heat of his breath and the weight he had endured were palpable.

“But then I met you. After meeting you, I finally saw color. You’re my breath of life. Damn it, why do you keep…”

Costance had never been this honest before.

His emotions were in every word. She couldn’t utter a single response with her parted lips.

“…”

His broad shoulders slumped before her.

“I know I did wrong. I spoke carelessly, not knowing you were Benny Galinne. So even when you tried to push me away, I endured it. But… please don’t abandon me. I mean it. I’m truly scared.”

Irini’s death had peeled away the layers hiding Costance’s feelings.

“Ah…”

Only now did she realize that the person who had been driving a wedge between her and Costance was herself.

Seeing Costance cry so desperately made the truth clear.

It was her.

She was the one who had come between them.

“…I’m sorry.”

She spoke in a weak voice.

Even as she apologized, Costance couldn’t lift his head.

“I was wrong.”

Her trembling voice faltered with every word.

Costance, his cheeks wet with tears, looked at her with shaking pupils.

“Truly… I’m sorry.”

She placed both hands on his tear-streaked cheeks.

“Benny.”

“I couldn’t bear the thought of you being unhappy because of me. If you, like Irini, suddenly left me…”

She swallowed the tears that threatened to overwhelm her. Her eyes stung from crying so much, and the cold tip of her nose felt numb.

“That’s why, after letting Irini go, I tried to let you go too.”

Just as Costance had poured out his heart, she spoke her truth.

Her honesty made Costance clench his fists tightly.

“But… when you found me in the forest, I was truly happy. My heart felt so relieved.”

“Benny.”

“Thank you for calling my name. Thank you for holding on to me, even after learning the truth.”

She was grateful for everything. It was genuine.

“If that’s your final goodbye… don’t thank me. Hate me forever.”

Costance said.

“I have a request.”

“I don’t want to hear it. Don’t say it.”

Costance shook his head.

“Please.”

“If you say it… I’ll kiss you. Every time you speak, I’ll stop your lips.”

“Stay by my side.”

Costance froze.

“Stay… Costance.”

“…”

“Be with me until the end. I love you. I like you so much. Even if being with me makes you unhappy, I don’t want you to leave me forever.”

“…”

“Please… don’t abandon me. Love me forever.”

Costance held his breath.

“You, of all people, must not leave me. If you promise me that, I’ll always stay by your side.”

That was truly what she wanted. She never wanted to part with Costance.

Even if they couldn’t live like other couples, she wanted to share small conversations with him and live together forever.

“Stay with me…”

Costance wiped her tears with trembling hands. The cautious touch he had always shown was now unrestrained. He wiped her tears, touched her lips…

She lightly bit the fingers that brushed her lips.

Her front teeth pressed against Costance’s fingers. He stared at her actions, unable to comprehend them.

“…Can I stay by your side?”

Costance asked with trembling pupils.

“Yes.”

She left her teeth marks on his fingers.

“Please stay.”

As if sealing a promise, Costance’s expression slowly changed at the sight of her bite mark.

She, too, wiped the tears from his cheeks. With her other hand, she brushed against his lips.

“I have Irini’s fur with me. Let’s go to the Papal States together and bury it. Let’s comfort each other over Irini’s death. Until the end. Please…”

Her thumb slipped into Costance’s mouth. Just as she had done, he bit her finger gently, as if making a pact.

When she pulled her finger away, Costance’s teeth marks were visible.

“I truly love you.”

This time, he didn’t cry but held her as if he would break her. The warmth of his arms wrapped around her.

“Benny, Benny…”

He repeated her name endlessly. Now that their true feelings were laid bare, the wandering in their hearts was resolved in an instant.

‘Irini.’

Irini, who had suddenly left them, had left behind an incredible gift.

‘Irini.’

Even though your body is gone, you’ll always remain in our hearts—mine and Costance’s.

Irini. Our peace.