106. Declaration of War
“Why must I not love you, Grand Duke?”
Katya became confused.
“I thought you would be happy when I confessed my feelings.”
Her voice trembled slightly as if she might burst into tears at any moment.
Nikolai felt what it meant for one’s heart to shatter into pieces.
Of course he was happy.
No man in this world wouldn’t be happy receiving a proposal from the woman he loved.
But he couldn’t accept Katya’s confession.
“I’m sorry, Tia.”
This wasn’t the answer she had hoped for.
“The divorce will proceed as planned.”
“Why?”
“I can date you but nothing more. I can’t be a good husband. I can’t be a good father either.”
“No? You’re already a good husband now. I know you’ll be a good father when our child is born.”
She could tell from his care for his people.
She knew from the infinite affection and attentiveness she had received from him so far.
Even now he was fussing over his wife, not knowing what to do—with their child, he would surely dote on them completely.
“If you’re disappointed, you can withdraw from the marriage.”
“What?”
I want you to be happy.
Nikolai couldn’t bring himself to say those words out loud.
Though he had wanted so desperately to be loved by her, ironically, he hadn’t expected her to truly fall in love with him.
He thought he wasn’t worthy of anyone’s love.
Especially not from a bright and lovely woman like Katya who grew up cherished with parental love. He thought she could never come to love a man like him.
“Nikolai, you should never have been born in the first place.”
“……”
“You should have disappeared with your mother. Then you wouldn’t have ended up like this.”
Oksana’s words to him on the day Ruslan died remained vivid.
The memory of being loved by someone felt so distant.
When he was imprisoned in the tower, waves of depression had crashed over his young self.
Everyone who had loved him had left his side.
His very existence ended up making everyone unhappy.
Perhaps he was someone who shouldn’t exist in this world.
Such pessimistic thoughts tormented him.
Everything felt like his fault.
The only reason he hadn’t died then and was still alive now was for his mother’s revenge.
That was the single reason for living this hellish life.
“You said you needed a woman who would endure by your side until everything ended. Why did you fall in love?”
“I know. I don’t know what I’m doing either.”
“……”
“But I always keep in mind not to be greedy. I’ll give her everything I can while I’m alive and then let her go.”
He had planned to die after completing all his revenge.
He intended to entrust the position of Grand Duke to his sister Klavdia and follow his mother.
But—
‘When I see you, I keep wanting to live.’
Though he had resolved never to give his heart to anyone again…
He fell in love with Katya.
Even knowing there was a set ending, he craved her affection.
He became greedy for a happy life with her.
It was a selfish choice.
‘I fear my misfortune will befall you.’
He shouldn’t have proposed to her in the first place.
For Katya to be happy, he had to disappear from her side.
“Even if you break off the engagement, I’ll make sure you aren’t harmed. I’ll even grant you a separate title—”
“No. I don’t need titles. I’m happiest when I’m by your side.”
Katya declared firmly with reddened eyes.
“Tia……”
“If this was your intention, why were you so good to me all this time? Why did you say you loved me?”
“……”
“You shouldn’t have said you wanted to be loved. You shouldn’t have made me fall in love with you.”
Her green eyes grew wet like a rain-soaked forest.
His heart sank seeing his wife cry.
Though he felt the urge to embrace and comfort her immediately, Nikolai barely maintained his rationality.
“I just needed someone to fill the Grand Duchess position.”
Hiding his emotions as much as possible, he repeated Oksana’s words with an expressionless face.
“As you know, assassination attempts targeting me would target the Grand Duchess too. I needed someone who wasn’t her spy and wouldn’t die easily. You seemed suitable, that’s all.”
“……”
“I would say anything to make you completely fall for me.”
“……”
“I never loved you, not even once.”
Now that she had fallen in love with him, everything had to be put back in its place.
At his harsh words, the tears that had barely pooled in Katya’s eyes rolled down her cheeks.
After briefly lowering her head with a sorrowful expression, Katya roughly wiped her face with the back of her hand and lifted her head straight.
When she met his gaze again, her eyes had changed dramatically.
“No. I know you’re lying.”
She had never once doubted this man’s heart.
“You love me, Grand Duke. Everything you’ve shown me until now couldn’t all be lies.”
“……”
“I don’t know why you’re doing this, but I will find out. And I’ll propose again, so brace yourself.”
After declaring war, Katya ran out of the study without waiting for a response.
***
“Is the tea to your taste?”
Oksana smiled as she spoke from across the table.
Katya was now at the Summer Palace.
Earlier, on her way back to her room, she had encountered a servant sent by Oksana at the central fountain.
She had come here following Oksana’s summons.
Perhaps she meant to establish dominance from the start.
Though uncertain, Brunhilde grew anxious and tried to send someone to inform Nikolai, but Katya stopped her.
She would have to meet this opponent separately at some point anyway.
“Yes. It has a nice aroma.”
Katya smiled as she lowered her teacup from her lips.
In truth, she hadn’t taken a single sip.
‘Who knows what’s in it.’
Though internally full of wariness, externally she acted the part of a gentle, naive young lady.
Having just experienced an unexpected rejection, it was especially taxing to act while her heart was already troubled.
“It must be very worrying trying to get recommendation letters. I called you because I was concerned.”
Was this giving medicine after causing the illness?
Hearing such words from the main opposition leader, it was like a cat pretending to care for a mouse.
Though disgusted and feeling rebellious, Katya didn’t show it and smiled sweetly again.
“Your Highness is as thoughtful as I’ve heard.”
“Klavdia won’t cooperate with anything because she thinks Nikolai caused her brother’s death, and my daughter-in-law will be the same.”
“I know it won’t be easy.”
“If I give my approval, everything would become easier, what do you think?”
“What?”
This was an unexpected statement.
Though she didn’t know the ulterior motive, it would benefit her side if Oksana helped.
“Then I gratefully—”
“But there’s a condition.”
“A condition?”
“After marriage, you’ll have tea time with me like this every day.”
“Is having tea with me worth that much to Your Highness?”
Oksana stared at Katya with curious eyes.
She seemed quite perceptive.
Well, it wasn’t actually difficult to figure out.
The two were mutually uncomfortable with each other.
A stepmother-in-law with poor relations with her husband.
A stepdaughter-in-law who was a thorn in her side.
In this situation, having tea time everyday… she had to suspect there were ulterior motives.
“Indeed it is.”
“……”
“While staying by Nikolai’s side, you’ll tell me what he does every day. I’m a mother who worries much about her son.”
At those words, Katya set down her teacup with a clatter.
“So in other words, you want me to become a spy?”
“Well, you could understand it that way.”
Oksana smiled with seemingly kind eyes.
She couldn’t ignore Katya’s existence.
More precisely, her father was the one who needed to be kept in check.
Though Duke Smirnov had no interest in factions, he had a good reputation and broad connections.
His decision to send his daughter to the Grand Duke meant he had ultimately chosen to side with the Grand Duke.
Quite a few people in Oksana’s forces had friendly relations with Duke Smirnov.
Katya and Nikolai’s marriage would eventually cause confusion among the boyars.
It would be troublesome to make an enemy of Duke Smirnov and create unnecessary variables or conflicts.
So she had calculated that she needed to sweet-talk his beloved daughter onto her side.
“I know from experience that being Grand Duchess is a very difficult position. You absolutely need help from the family. It will be hard if you become Grand Duchess relying only on your husband. You’ll face opposition at every turn.”
It was a kind of threat disguised as negotiation.
A threat saying to take her hand if she wanted to live comfortably.
Without even a second’s hesitation, the answer came immediately.
“You don’t need to write the recommendation letter. I refuse.”
“What?”
“Your Highness, think about it. My husband will hold the national ceremony even if he has to change the law. Did you think he would follow the family elders’ wishes in this matter when everyone calls him a tyrant?”
“……”
“That’s how much he loves me. So that’s not a reason at all.”
What Nikolai wanted to give her was power that would prevent anyone from looking down on her.
For this, he had broken his principles and proposed.
Katya understood this well.
“Even if I chose to be a spy and had the national ceremony, I wouldn’t be a real Grand Duchess then but Your Highness’s puppet for life, so what would be the point of becoming Grand Duchess?”
“……”
“Wouldn’t it be much better to join hands with the Grand Duke and become a free Grand Duchess, even if it’s difficult at first? As Grand Duchess, I would enjoy wealth and glory—if you were me, Your Highness, would you choose to be Grand Duchess or spy?”
Contrary to Oksana’s expectations, Katarina de Vasily was not an easy opponent.
