120. Happiness Named You
If his worry was about children, she thought this was the best solution.
Though there would be gossip about a Grand Duchess who couldn’t bear children, she didn’t care about that at all.
If a child’s very existence troubled Nikolai because they didn’t know when the prophecy would come true, then they simply wouldn’t have children.
Living just the two of them forever would be fine.
Nikolai alone was enough.
It would be a lie to say she didn’t want a child who looked just like him and herself, but right now, finding a way for them both to be happy took priority.
“You won’t be able to continue the line anyway if you divorce me, Grand Duke.”
Katya said to her husband who was staring at her blankly.
“Don’t tell me you were thinking of divorcing me and remarrying another woman to have children?”
“How could I ever do that!”
Nikolai exclaimed seriously at her playful words.
He was a man devoted solely to her.
Even though he loved her, he had to push her away because he didn’t want to give her the sorrow of losing a child.
Such a man would never take another woman to continue his line.
Katya knew this too.
“Right?”
She smiled brightly.
“I’ve thought about what you planned to do after divorcing me. You definitely weren’t planning to hand it over to His Highness Mikhail.”
“……”
“You were planning to pass the Grand Duke title to Her Highness Klavdia, weren’t you?”
The Grand Duke’s eyes widened as if she had hit the mark.
His wife was someone who always saw through his thoughts precisely.
He realized anew how ridiculous it had been to tell such a person that he didn’t love her all this time.
“You’re right. I thought it would be good if my sister or her child inherited it.”
“I thought so.”
“My sister is too tender-hearted to carry out reforms.”
That’s why he tried to resolve everything during his time, even if it meant pushing too hard.
Even if he ended up in danger while doing this work.
He wanted to create a peaceful Hersen that Klavdia and her children could rule.
Forcing policy reforms was to weed out those with strong loyalty who would follow even such orders and fake supporters who would try to oust him at this opportunity.
He planned to leave only those who truly cared for the country in the government.
Originally he had planned to wait until after divorcing Katya and seeing her safely returned to the south, but once he decided not to marry at all, things progressed faster than planned.
“If we’re both afraid because of children, let’s not have any until we eliminate our uncertainties and feel confident we can be good parents.”
“What if it takes a lifetime?”
“That’s fine too. We can be happy without children. I’m not marrying you to have children.”
“……”
“I just want to become your real family. I’ll be worth a hundred people by myself. You’ll be so busy with just me that you won’t have time to feel lonely, right?”
At those words, Nikolai laughed with reddened eyes.
“I’ve never been lonely since meeting you.”
“That means you’ll be lonely again without me. So just give up and accept me into your life, Grand Duke.”
“Tia.”
“If you avoid me again, I’ll assume it’s because I’m inadequate as a Grand Duchess and live with rock-bottom self-esteem.”
“You really are impossible.”
Nikolai embraced her just as she was.
From behind, Katya’s small body was completely hidden as if it had become one with his, invisible behind him.
“I can’t let you live with low self-esteem.”
“That’s right. You thought well.”
He buried his face in her small shoulder.
Katya slowly patted her husband’s vast back as if soothing a crying child.
Though he was as big as a mountain with fierce features, at times like this, he really felt like a large dog like Laika.
“Even if you beg to run away and plead to let you go, I won’t let go anymore. Is that alright?”
“Yes. Don’t let go. Hold me tight, like this.”
She answered, gently resting her head on her husband’s nape.
Nikolai closed his eyes slowly while holding her tight.
He felt so happy he wished time would stop forever like this.
Had he ever been this happy in his life?
His life before meeting Katya was all hazy memories.
Looking back, he thought he had been very lucky.
If he hadn’t gone to that shop in Padovangrad to buy a sword that day, he wouldn’t have met her.
An absolute stroke of luck named Katya appeared in his unlucky life.
That luck colored his life with happiness.
Nikolai thought:
I will never again lose this happiness named you that has come to me.
And I will surely protect it.
Katya, who had been silently held in his arms for a while, suddenly raised her head from within his embrace as though she had just remembered something.
“Grand Duke, what about the match?”
“I’ll say I’m better now and compete.”
“That’s a lie. You’re not better.”
“I’m all better because you hugged me.”
“That’s impossible.”
Nikolai gently pinched the cheek of his wife who was opening her eyes primly.
“I want to show you that I won. I’ll prove that your man is the best in any field.”
“I don’t need that. Just forfeit.”
“Don’t you trust me? I’ll focus properly now and definitely won’t get hurt.”
“I just want to stay with you more, Grand Duke. I hate having to be apart and only watch you from afar.”
“Where did you learn to say such breathtaking words?”
Nikolai spoke like a sigh at his wife’s words that made him crazy with love.
“Who else would I learn from? The expert is right here.”
His gaze naturally went to Katya’s lips that curved prettily to the side as she smiled.
Nikolai gently gripped her chin with one hand and slowly tilted his head down.
Just as their lips were about to meet—
Bang bang bang!
“Your Highness! You need to come out now! It’s almost your turn!”
The unwelcome guest knocking tactlessly at the door was Boris.
The Grand Duke barely suppressed his anger, remembering he was in front of his wife, and spoke low through his teeth.
“I forfeit.”
“Even if you forfeit the match, you still need to attend the awards ceremony.”
“Alright, wait. My knee hurts so I’ll come out in a bit.”
“What? Are you alright? You said it was nothing earlier!”
“I think it’ll get better if I rest a bit.”
“You still have pain even after resting all this time! Are you badly hurt? Please open the door! What are you doing in there that you locked it?”
“I want to be alone, so could you please go?”
But the loyal retainer who was only worried about the Grand Duke’s wellbeing seemed to have thrown his tact to the sky, even ordering a palace servant to bring keys to open the door.
It seemed Boris thought Nikolai might have been attacked.
“Your Highness! Please wait a moment! I’ll come in right away! Ack—”
At that moment, a choking sound came from Boris as someone grabbed his neck from behind.
“Sir Pavel, what are you doing?”
“Come with me for a moment.”
“Sir Boris, do as Sir Pavel says.”
“No, why are you doing this too, Lady Brunhilde? Let go of me! His Highness might be in danger right now!”
“If you open that door, you’ll be the one in danger, not His Highness.”
Fortunately, Pavel and Brunhilde had the tact that Boris lacked.
He should truly be grateful to them both.
For they were benefactors who saved his life.
“Even if you’re the Captain of the Guards, you can’t treat me, His Highness’s aide, like this……”
Boris shouted loudly as he exited, not knowing Pavel was extending his lifeline.
Nikolai slightly closed and opened his eyes like he was suppressing his anger while listening to Boris’s voice growing distant.
“You just had a bad thought, didn’t you?”
“You know me too well.”
“That’s how I caught your lie too.”
“Should we go out?”
Though he said that, Katya pushed away his approaching lips with her index finger.
“We should go.”
“Are you getting revenge?”
“My, what revenge?”
“For making your heart ache?”
“That’s right. You should be punished for that.”
Saying that, she broke free from her husband’s embrace and stood up abruptly.
Nikolai lost his balance for a moment and steadied himself with his hand where she had been.
Seeing him looking up at her with a thoroughly disappointed expression, Katya said primly:
“We can’t do this and that yet before the state wedding.”
This from the woman who had already kissed him twice.
She did as she pleased but wouldn’t let him do the same, which was torture for Nikolai.
“I dug my own grave.”
He muttered with a deep sigh.
Katya extended her hand like she’s training the Grand Duke.
“Grand Duke. Let’s go together.”
“Are you saying we can hold hands?”
“Well, I’ll allow holding hands at least.”
Nikolai snickered and took her hand to stand up.
Yellow sunlight poured over their heads through the window.
Just touching her hand made even this moment feel somehow sensual in the afternoon.
“After the state wedding, what will you allow?”
“Hmm. I’ll think about that.”
Their positions had reversed again.
Nikolai went from receiving courtship to courting again.
It was essentially back to normal.
But this felt more familiar.
“Yes. This is right. Now I feel more at ease.”
“About what?”
“This situation where I’m pursuing you again. It feels like I’m wearing my own clothes now, shall we say.”
“Then were you uncomfortable before because I came on too strong?”
“No. I was happy. Too happy, which made me rather anxious.”
“I just can’t win against your words.”
She clicked her tongue and shook her head.
Her abundant strawberry-blonde hair that fell over her shoulders swayed slowly like it was dancing.
“Where should we go for our honeymoon after the state wedding?”
“We already went on our honeymoon.”
“Last time was a honeymoon of terror. I want us to have a real honeymoon just for us two.”
Nikolai whispered while pressing a lingering kiss to the back of their joined hands.
“As long as I can be alone with you, Grand Duke, anywhere is fine.”
“I agree.”
If only he weren’t the Grand Duke, so he could be alone with Katya forever.
This moment of talking about the future with her felt like a dream.
Even if it was a future he couldn’t grasp in his hands.
