90. My Wife’s First Love (5)

When dinner was nearly over, it truly began to drizzle as Pavel had predicted.

The knights quickly cleaned up the dishes and retreated to their pre-set tents.

Nikolai entered the cave with Katya, wrapping her head and back with his robe to keep her from getting wet.

“Go into the tent in the back.”

He pointed beyond the tent immediately visible.

He had specifically instructed them to set up Katya’s tent in the innermost part and his own tent near the entrance in case of emergencies.

Only after sending Katya to the back of the cave did Nikolai enter his own tent.

After briefly washing his face and brushing his teeth, he took off his top and laid his tired body on the blanket.

Sleep started creeping in as soon as his head hit the pillow.

His energy had been considerably depleted from catching fish directly in the valley without even a fishing rod.

Just as his eyelids were about to droop, Katya suddenly swept aside the tent flap and entered holding a lamp.

“What’s this, suddenly?”

Nikolai startled, hurriedly gathering his clothes to cover his bare upper body.

Seeing this, Katya couldn’t help but laugh.

Though he would strip without hesitation no matter how much she protested when he wanted to, now he acted flustered when caught off guard like this.

“It’s not like this is the first time I’ve seen Your Highness’s body, why are you covering up?”

“Weren’t you the one saying I should stay completely covered even in front of you?”

“That’s true.”

Katya smiled mischievously with playful eyes.

That face was so lovely again that Nikolai held his breath for a moment.

“What brings you here? Is your bed uncomfortable?”

“That’s what I want to ask. Were you uncomfortable sleeping with me at hotels until now?”

“What?”

“Well, isn’t it strange? We’ve been fine sharing rooms until now, but today you suddenly want to use two tents and sleep separately.”

As she approached his side, Nikolai unconsciously retreated backward into a sitting position.

Usually, he was always the one approaching, and Katya was the one stepping back feeling burdened.

But today, the situation was oddly reversed due to his unusually assertive wife.

“Sleeping separately is more comfortable since you’re alone and can use more space.”

“Rather than that, wouldn’t the knights be able to use more space if we gave them one tent?”

“What? Don’t tell me……”

“That’s right. I already gave it away so there’s only one tent here now.”

Katya now openly sat beside him and slipped her legs under the blanket.

Her wiggling toes slightly touched Nikolai’s bare leg under the blanket.

He was startled for a moment and pressed himself against the edge of the tent.

It felt like an electric thrill wrapping around his entire body.

“Then you use this. I think I’d better sleep outside.”

“Are you angry with me?”

“……What?”

Nikolai, who was trying to escape past her out of the tent, turned around in surprise at those words.

“Are you trying to avoid me because you’re angry about something?”

Katya said with a dejected expression, hanging her head.

Her husband naturally fell for the sophisticated act and closed the tent, quietly sitting back down at her feet.

“What could I possibly have to be angry about with you?”

“I heard from Boris. He accidentally told Your Highness that Pavel was my first love, isn’t that why you’re acting like this?”

What should he do with this aide who quickly opens up his secret pouch and speaks carelessly once he becomes close and comfortable with someone.

“It’s true that Boris said that, but that’s not why I had the tents set up separately.”

“Then why?”

“People normally relieve their daily fatigue while sleeping, right? I gave those instructions because I was worried you might not get proper rest being conscious of me.”

“But you once threw pillows out the window saying married couples must share a bed no matter what.”

“That had some playfulness mixed in……”

Nikolai said, flustering.

“Then you’re not particularly bothered that Pavel was my first love?”

“As a husband, I can’t help but be bothered by that.”

“Do you regret putting Pavel as my guard knight?”

“To be honest, it’s fifty-fifty. Though I keep being conscious of it, there’s also no one else as capable, making him the most suitable person to protect you.”

He finally started pouring out what had been bothering him.

Like a dam breaking, his inner thoughts flowed out like a flood.

“I’m sorry. For being a narrow-minded man.”

“You can be jealous, but you’ve got the wrong target.”

“Huh?”

“Pavel isn’t my first love.”

Katya said with a faint smile as she watched her husband readily admitting his fault.

“It’s true I admired him, but that was only being attracted to his performance at the jousting tournament, it never developed into love or admiring him as a man.”

“He’s not…… your first love?”

“No. He’s not.”

The unexpected twist made Nikolai feel like he’d been hit in the back of the head.

But one thing was certain: it was a pleasant twist.

He should have been angry at Boris for carelessly speaking without knowing the facts and making him worry, but now that peace of mind had returned, none of that mattered anymore.

As the dark clouds of jealousy cleared, a bright smile bloomed on Nikolai’s face.

This time, he came and sat next to Katya, slipping his feet under the blanket.

“Really not?”

“You already look like you believe it’s not.”

“That’s right. I believe everything you say. Because you would never lie to me.”

“Don’t trust me that much, even if it’s me. You might get badly burned someday.”

“I don’t mind getting burned if it’s by you.”

Nikolai, back to being smooth, lightly kissed the back of Katya’s hand and whispered while looking up at her.

Katya couldn’t help but laugh at his attitude that changed as quickly as flipping a hand, all because of who her first love was.

Still, she was glad he had returned to his usual self.

Though it was slightly burdensome when he acted slick and initiated skinship so boldly like this, this was more like Nikolai.

“Are you tired? Let’s go to sleep now.”

“You said being alone is better for proper rest.”

“That was about you, but I can only relieve fatigue when you’re here. I fall asleep every night looking forward to what I’ll do with you tomorrow, and wake up every morning to see you.”

Nikolai, who had laid down on his side first, said while looking up at his wife.

His blue eyes filled with affection sparkled like starlight fallen on a lake in the lamplight.

He always confessed his love in unexpected moments like this.

They weren’t words prepared beforehand but ones that naturally flowed from his mouth.

Yet they always reached her heart with sincerity, stirring up her feelings.

Nikolai, who had been looking up at her, pulled her hand to make her lie down beside him.

Thus the two lay facing each other.

“Am I really Your Highness’s first love?”

“Yes. But I wonder if we need to distinguish it as first love.”

“Why?”

“Because you’ll be my only love until the day I die. I have no one else but you, from beginning to end.”

Looking at this man who only looked at her, Katya thought,

Was there really no end to this blind love?

If so, that would be trouble.

Because she too might not be able to end this love.

‘Even though I have to leave you someday, what if I can’t?’

Time felt too short.

A year wasn’t as long as she had thought.

That’s why she wanted to spend as much precious time as possible staying close to Nikolai each day.

But choosing to sleep by his side tonight was for a different reason.

“Your Highness. His Highness ordered us to set up two tents in the cave earlier, would you mind checking if that’s alright?”

“Two tents?”

“Yes. His Highness asked us to prepare separate sleeping quarters for both Your Highnesses.”

When she first heard those words from the knight before dinner, Boris, who was beside her, had muttered regretfully.

“Why is he doing this? His Highness doesn’t have the usual nightmares or suffer from insomnia when sleeping in the same bed with Your Highness.”

Come to think of it, the first time she saw him suffering from nightmares was when he had left the bed to sleep alone on the sofa.

Katya realized then,

Just as he protected her from all dangers during the day, she could protect him from night demons at night.

She had found the easiest way she could help Nikolai.

“It seems wasteful for two people to use one tent each, so take one back for you all to use.”

That’s how Katya had gotten rid of the tent dividing them and boldly entered Nikolai’s space.

Perhaps just having his wife nearby made him feel at ease, as Nikolai quickly fell into deep sleep.

She gazed freely at her sleeping husband’s face and thought.

‘Your Highness, actually… you are my first love.’

She swallowed those words without being able to speak them aloud.

Nikolai always spoke of love without hesitation.

Katya wanted to do that too.

But she was just a contract Grand Duchess.

Love wasn’t permitted in this relationship.

If she expressed her feelings and allowed love to begin, there would be no turning back.  

The moment love starts, everyone begins racing toward goodbye.

Parting always exists at the end of meetings.

Whether it was voluntary or involuntary separation, it was a fate no one could avoid.

To love means to be prepared to let go of the loved one someday.

Though Katya had fallen in love, she was still afraid of creating a new family.

How much time had passed?

Katya, who had fallen into the abyss of sleep, suddenly opened her eyes feeling empty.

“Your Highness?”

Nikolai wasn’t beside her.

When she opened the tent with half-closed eyes, she was in the middle of raging flames.