Chapter 1.8

Crisen, Matilda’s son, had frequent interactions with Lisael, and there was a time when Lisael admired him as a mature older brother. Seeing Crisen and Matilda doing well after a long time relieved Lisael considerably. With Crisen unexpectedly joining the conversation, the solo debate that was like a volcanic eruption finally came to an end. Instead, the uncomfortable expression of the host, who was dissatisfied with the visitors, once again stiffened the atmosphere. Even when Crisen and Lisael skillfully changed topics, Matilda’s piercing gaze showed no sign of relenting.

‘But why… does it seem like the village chief is also displeased with me?’

Lisael wanted to dismiss it as her imagination, but ominous feelings always proved to be surprisingly accurate. Matilda seemed to want to quickly chase both the Young Earl and her out of her house. The guest, the Young Earl, was equally desperate to leave. As soon as there was a gap in the conversation, with no more topics to forcibly prolong, Miguel intended to seize the moment to say they should leave.

“Lisael, can we talk outside for a moment?”

Suddenly, Crisen took the initiative and tried to take Lisael away from the table. 

Could it be that he intended to make a belated confession to Lisael, who returned as a married woman? 

In the world of nobles, openly leaving the table with another person was an unthinkable rudeness, leaving Miguel dumbfounded and unable to stop them.

“I hope we don’t have to meet again in the future. It’s uncomfortable for both sides.”

Left alone with Matilda, Miguel feared another round of tedious estate management talk, but Matilda calmly issued a single warning. Saying she hoped they wouldn’t meet again was a suggestion Miguel would gladly welcome with open arms. Even so, being able to bluntly tell the Young Earl she found him uncomfortable showed her formidable spirit.

“Of course. It was my wife who insisted on coming. There will be no need for us to meet again.”

He spoke his mind readily, and what did it matter if it was a bit rude? Instead of threatening her for the undignified directness, Miguel maintained a noble dignity and responded smoothly. He inadvertently referred to Lisael as his wife naturally. After saying it, it felt awkward, but somehow it wasn’t a bad title.

“Lisael… no, I should call her the Young Countess now. She is also included in those I hope not to meet again.”

Miguel’s eyebrow twitched slightly at the unexpected statement. 

Including Lisael? 

Did that expression, which made the other feel uncomfortable as if sitting on a bed of thorns wasn’t directed solely at me?

‘Ah….’

He hadn’t thought that far. Realizing something, Miguel felt his mouth dry as he looked at Lisael’s empty seat.

*   *   *

“I’m sorry I couldn’t attend the wedding.”

Crisen, who had taken Lisael to the garden, spoke softly. Although it had been years since they last saw each other, Lisael sensed a strange discord in his cautious demeanor.

“No… I know you’re busy. I heard the tourism business you’re involved in is thriving.”

“Being busy is just an excuse. A wedding is an occasion you can attend if you have the heart for it.”

Crisen had always been a kind and gentle older brother to her. Lisael’s intuition painted a bleak future, suggesting that his oddly distant attitude wasn’t solely due to the awkwardness of meeting after a long time.

“When I heard about the engagement with the Dante family, my mother was very surprised….”

Crisen paused for a moment, as if contemplating what to say. His blue eyes, shining brightly even under the moonlight, gazed at Lisael with a lingering look.

“She was angry. She was very disappointed in the Cherlin family. I’m sure the former village chiefs of other villages would react similarly. I don’t need to explain why.”

“…I see, it wasn’t just my imagination that she seemed uncomfortable. I completely understand. Of course, they would be upset. But….”

Hearing Crisen’s words until the end, Lisael felt as if something had dropped heavily inside her, as if she had received a terminal diagnosis. Her worries had hit the mark precisely. How could they not be disappointed in the Cherlin family? The Dante family was a public enemy that abandoned the villagers and village chiefs for personal gain. Miguel and Lisael’s marriage would appear as if a comrade who fought against a common enemy had betrayed and joined the enemy camp.

However, Lisael couldn’t offer any explanation and could only remain silent. Prenuptial agreements and divorce contracts, among other contracts related to noble marriages, are all conducted in secrecy. Having already promised not to disclose related clauses, Lisael had no choice but to silently accept the misunderstanding. She couldn’t utter a single word of the detailed explanation that village chief Cherlin secured a bit of livelihood for the villagers by handing over his daughter along with the densely wooded land to the Dante family.

She had already made the choice to sacrifice her entire life for the sake of the village. A choice she regretted deeply, wanting to avoid it so much that it pained her after less than a day. Yet, even that devilish transaction seemed insufficient, and now there was a further price to pay. Cherlin had turned its back on all the villages it had built deep bonds with over a lifetime. Realizing this firsthand in less than half a day, Lisael had to muster all her strength just to stand there, pretending to be unaffected while hiding her shock.

“I won’t visit Chief Matilda again….”

“…I’m sorry, but I feel the same way, Lisael.”

Crisen followed up with words that cruelly pierced her heart as she looked up at him abruptly.

“I’ve always supported you, but I can’t understand this time. I’m disappointed in you.”

How could he make such words and expressions with those upright, kind eyes and lips? Seeing the unmistakable disappointment on Crisen’s distorted face, Lisael’s slender hand began to tremble finely.

“But… despite making a selfish choice, you don’t seem happy at all, Lisael.”

There was a hint of pity in the last thorn Crisen softly pushed in. He glanced at Lisael and then walked past her, leaving. Lisael, unable to say anything until Crisen disappeared, collapsed helplessly as if her legs had given out.

‘How… how could I possibly be happy….’

A selfish choice. Despite making the most sacrificial and altruistic choice of her life, she lamented her situation, bearing the stigma of selfishness. All the relationships and precious people who supported her and her family must have turned away, seeing only the ugly facade of disgrace. Left alone, Lisael could finally vent her emotions without concern for others’ gazes. Her small shoulders shook sharply as she faced the chilly night wind alone.

“Uh… sob… sob….”

After letting out a cry, Lisael bit her trembling lips forcibly again. It didn’t matter anymore if others didn’t understand. She hadn’t made a shameful choice. Instead of despairing and suffering, she should feel proud. The faint reasoning floating in her mind was soothing her in that way, but the stormy emotions showed no sign of calming down.

‘It’s okay… it’s okay…. At least the villagers can find jobs now. They won’t have to worry about their circumstances, and the children won’t go hungry… the people wandering the streets will disappear….’

“Sob… sob….”

She bit her lips so hard they almost bled, but it wasn’t enough to stop the overwhelming sadness. Unable to control her emotions, Lisael buried her face in the grass and burst into tears and sobs.

‘Lisael….’

What did that pale fellow say to leave her in such a broken state? Having come to take Lisael back, Miguel, upon discovering her sitting and sobbing, quickly hid behind a pillar. At first, he thought he might go back and grab Crisen by the collar, but soon her pitiful sobs held him back.

He couldn’t leave her alone and go elsewhere. But he couldn’t approach her to offer comfort or solace either. He was Miguel ‘Dante,’ after all. His previous thought of grabbing Crisen by the collar seemed laughable now. Without needing to ask, the cause of Lisael’s sorrowful tears right in front of him was surely himself, so who was he to punish whom? 

As Lisael wept sadly before him, paradoxically, a helpless self-deprecation escaped from his lips.

“…Let’s go back.”