Chapter 18

“Not at all.”  

While Yaein was still struggling with how to face him after last night, Taeheon remained as indifferent as ever. It was hard to believe that those composed lips had pleaded with her not to leave.  

“If I had been drunk, it would’ve been much worse.”  

His low voice dripped with lingering desire.  

He leaned in, close enough for their lips to brush. Yaein turned her head away, but Taeheon didn’t pull back. Instead, he kissed her cheek before immediately attempting to capture her lips again.  

She didn’t manage to escape this time. If she had truly wanted to reject him, she could have pushed him away.  

But she didn’t.  

The second kiss, strangely sweet, unfolded between them. Unlike the usual hunger that drove him, this time his tongue and lips moved gently, as if savoring her. The kiss felt like it was slowly dissolving her awareness.  

When it ended, Yaein let out a warm breath, carefully choosing her words.  

“You said you’d do anything I wanted, except for a divorce.”  

Was it really the right time to bring this up? She hesitated, biting down lightly on the inside of her cheek.  

The scent of last night’s rain still lingered in the air. The aftermath of the storm carried in the damp fragrance of soil and grass through the cracks of the window.  

Taeheon, waiting for her next words, looked more disheveled than usual. Yaein reached up and combed her fingers through his hair.  

She had always believed that Taeheon was perfectly fine on his own. But last night… hadn’t he seemed strangely unstable?  

Could it be that he needed her, too?  

The thought alone was enough to make her ask.  

“What about a child?” 

Taeheon’s expression shifted.  

“What?”  

“A child,” she repeated. “People always say that a couple truly becomes a family once they have one.”  

She felt ashamed, resorting to words she didn’t even believe in just to make her case.  

She was begging a man who didn’t even love her for *their* child.  

“You’re often away. It gets lonely… But if we had a child—”  

“This is sudden.”

Taeheon’s touch withdrew from her skin.  

He sat up from the bed, and the distance that had felt so close just moments ago stretched apart in an instant. His half-turned profile was etched with the familiar coldness.  

“What do you mean? I’ve always been open to the idea of having a child.”  

Yaein sat up as well, her voice laced with an edge of frustration.  

“Is this really something to discuss in a situation like this?”  

A rejection.  

Yaein pressed a hand to her aching sternum. No matter how many times she experienced it, the feeling of her hopes being discarded never became any easier.  

“You said you’d do anything as long as it wasn’t a divorce. But now that *I’m* the one bringing something up, why are you suddenly acting different? You’re so selfish.”  

Her feeble accusation was met with silence. Taeheon didn’t bother to argue.  

Yaein hesitated for a moment before placing a cautious hand on his back, where scars of burns and other wounds still remained.  

She didn’t want to seem desperate. But anxiety was pushing her forward.  

Even now, a child was growing inside her.  

This wasn’t something she could avoid.

“Why do you hate it that much?”  

Her mouth wouldn’t stop moving.  

Taeheon didn’t look at Yaein. His gaze was fixed somewhere far away, distant and cold.

She wanted, somehow, to make him focus on her request. In the end, Yaein brought up the one thing she had avoided until now.

“Do you remember our first child?”  

“Can you even call it a ‘first’ when it wasn’t even eight weeks old?”  

His sarcasm struck her like a blow, making her inhale sharply.  

The man who had once pieced together her shattered heart was now the one trampling on it. This pain was the proof of a love that had gone wrong.  

Taeheon finally turned to look at Yaein, who could no longer find the words to respond.  

“If you give birth to a child that looks like me, you’ll only end up breaking even more.”

At last, Yaein could see Taeheon’s face clearly.  

He was still expressionless, yet there was something eerily dark about him. The morning sun had broken through the storm clouds, filling the room with golden light, but none of it seemed to reach Taeheon.  

“You want me to see that?”  

His self-mocking tone came out almost bitterly.  

Yaein had no idea why he was acting this way, so she moved closer to him.  

“What do you mean?”  

“I should start getting ready for work.”  

Taeheon got out of bed and stood up. Kwon Taeheon never spoke about himself.  

He knew all about Yein’s school days, yet his own past remained a mystery.  

“Tell me.”  

Yein blocked his path.  

“Do you just hate the idea of a child? Or is it that you hate the thought of having one with me? Tell me what you’re thinking, please…”  

She hated the sound of her own pleading voice. She was clinging to him again.  

“Taeheon… if…”  

The words pushed forward on their own. If I were pregnant with your child. If you won’t divorce me, then does that mean you won’t abandon me and the baby either?  

Will you stay with me?  

If Taeheon could be a good father, then it wouldn’t matter if he never loved her. As long as their child didn’t have to live the kind of life Yaein had.

“You once said it yourself. If I hadn’t lost the baby, it would’ve looked just like you.”  

Taeheon stopped in front of her.  

He remembered.  

She had told him on the way back from the hospital. *If our baby had been born safely, it would’ve looked just like you—so handsome.* Taeheon hadn’t responded at the time.  

“I was relieved when that child didn’t make it into this world. It would’ve been a nightmare if it had.”  

Yaein’s shoulders slumped.  

She couldn’t process what she had just heard.  

It was our child. That baby had done nothing wrong. It hadn’t even had the chance to be born.  

“So don’t bring up children again.”  

Taeheon brushed past Yaein and walked into the bathroom.

Left alone, Yaein’s throat quivered. It felt raw, as if she had swallowed sand.  

Her hope had shattered completely.  

The fragments pierced her, and though she should have been used to this by now, it still hurt.  

The bathroom door closed. Slowly, Yaein sank to the floor.  

She was genuinely relieved that Taeheon didn’t know she was pregnant.  

If he had found out and then told her he didn’t want the baby, her heart would have been crushed beyond repair.  

One person born into this world unwanted was enough—Yaein herself.  

Listening to the sound of water spreading from the bathroom, she wrapped her arms around her shoulders. It felt like that day when she had walked in the rain alone.  

A cold, desolate day where she had wandered endlessly, not knowing where she was going, but forced to keep moving.  

Even as Taeheon finished getting ready for work, Yaein couldn’t pull herself together. She could only manage to stand out of habit, just to see him off.  

“Take care.”  

The words left her lips mechanically, but her mind was elsewhere.  

Then, suddenly, she felt strong arms wrap tightly around her waist, pulling her back to reality. Taeheon was as close as he had been in bed.  

“I wanted to say goodbye before I left.”  

His lips pressed against hers.  

She was pulled into a suffocating embrace, caught in a kiss that drained all the strength from her body.  

Even when she tried to pull away, he chased after her lips, capturing them again. He devoured every breath she had, leaving none behind.  

A dizzying haze wrapped around her, as if she were on the verge of suffocation. Her limbs refused to move.  

“Haa… Huu…”  

As Yaein gasped for air, Taeheon licked the corners of her lips, collecting the saliva that had spilled from their rough kiss with the tip of his tongue.  

“I’ll be home early today.”  

“You don’t… have to.”  

“Why? Is there something inconvenient about having your husband at home?”  

When she shook her head weakly, still breathless, Taeheon bit down on her swollen lower lip from the friction of their kiss.  

“Ah…!”  

“Don’t refuse. It’s not for your sake anyway.”

He spoke teasingly, but Yaein knew it wasn’t a joke.  

He meant it.  

“I need to keep a close watch so you don’t run away while I’m gone.”  

At the end of his warning, another brief kiss followed. Their lips overlapped slightly, brushing together before parting, but the dampness lingering on her mouth made a lewd sound.  

When Taeheon finally pulled his large, heavy body away, the sticky kiss ended at last.  

While Yaein leaned against the wall, Taeheon straightened his wrinkled tie and walked toward the entrance.  

“I’m off.”  

He was as composed and immaculate as ever.  

Only Yaein was left behind in disarray.  

She touched her damp lips and took a step back. Even as she watched the door close, the tension heating her veins refused to subside.  

What should I do now?  

Yaein rubbed her lips with the back of her hand.  

She had thought that once she brought it up, the divorce would be simple. But it wouldn’t be as easy as she had expected.  

She had never once believed she could win against Kwon Taeheon if she made him her enemy. But now, his stance was too clear to ignore.  

He would never give her what she wanted.  

Yaein rummaged through her bag and checked the old cellphone. Still no reply.  

She bit down on her fingernail, gnawing at it anxiously.  

“Don’t let me escape…”  

She repeated his words.  

Blood seeped from the ragged edge of her bitten nail.  

“…Escape.”  

Yaein stared at the firmly locked front door.  

‘Don’t abandon me.’

She recalled the way that massive man had once pulled her into his arms and whispered his desperate plea.  

But what about you?  

Unlike me, who has nothing, you could abandon me at any time.  

“It would’ve been a nightmare if it had been born.”

That sentence still stabbed sharply in her ears.  

Yaein took a step toward the door.  

She would make sure he couldn’t abandon this child.  

And to do that—she had to run away from her husband.

***

“Does it not suit your taste?”  

At the housekeeper’s overly concerned voice, Yaein shook her head and wiped the corner of her mouth. The woman, visibly anxious, quickly placed a glass of water in front of her.  

“No, it’s nothing. I think I might have indigestion. I’m sorry, especially after you prepared such a nice meal.”

The dishes looked delicious even at a glance. Everything was something Yaein liked. But today, the moment she put a bite of grilled fish in her mouth, nausea surged up.

“Oh no, should I get you some digestive medicine?”  

“I’ll find some and take it myself. More importantly, if you’re done with work, you should go home early. Didn’t you mention something about your child today?”  

“Oh my, you remembered? Are you sure it’s okay?”  

“Of course. Go ahead. I’ll clean up the table myself.”  

The middle-aged housekeeper, unable to hide her joy, left quickly.  

All the household staff worked on a shift basis. Her mother-in-law had insisted on hiring a live-in housekeeper, but Taeheon despised the idea of having someone else sleeping in their home.  

Her husband had a peculiar obsession with cleanliness.  

For Yaein, it was a relief. If someone had been in the house every day, they might have noticed the changes in her.  

After clearing the table despite barely having eaten, Yaein reached for the glass of water. The moment she took a sip, a wave of nausea crashed over her.  

She rushed to the bathroom in a daze, but only dry heaved.  

Sitting in front of the toilet, waiting for her stomach to settle, she turned to the mirror.  

She scrutinized her reflection.  

On the surface, nothing had changed much.  

Her stomach was still flat, and rather than gaining weight, she had been losing it.  

Pulling down the turtleneck sweater that covered her neck, she saw them—scattered reddish marks staining her skin.