Chapter 3.1

After that day, the relationship between Clyde and Hestia began to change precariously—and in a negative direction at that.

Until then, she had been relatively comfortable around him, as she had been hiding her feelings. But now, that was no longer possible. Whenever he tried to hug her out of habit or rest his chin on her head, she would subtly pull away and avoid him. 

If he hugged her now, she would find herself wanting to embrace him tightly in return. To prevent that, she had to avoid physical contact as much as possible.

It didn’t stop there. Eventually, she couldn’t even look him in the eye for long. Whenever she gazed into those beautiful amber eyes, her heart would waver, so she decided it was best not to look at all. As a result, she not only avoided physical contact but also avoided meeting his gaze altogether.

‘…This is the right thing to do.’

She stared at the beautifully baked apple pie in front of her, lost in thought. The distance between them was supposed to be like this from the start. After all, he was someone who would leave once his memories returned. What was the point of growing closer?

But behind this seemingly reasonable excuse lay a cowardly truth—she couldn’t handle what had happened a few days ago when she had impulsively kissed him.

She didn’t clearly remember what happened after eating the chocolate laced with alcohol that day. However, she distinctly recalled drunkenly clinging to him and pressing her lips to his, which left her feeling mortified.

‘How could I do something so foolish?’

It was, without a doubt, something to regret. If she had gone all the way with him, perhaps she could have let go of her unrequited feelings. But judging by the state of her body, nothing had happened that night.

What made things even more confusing was Sir Clyde’s behavior after that day. Every time he looked at her, he wore a strangely frustrated expression, as if something unresolved was weighing heavily on his mind.

She concluded that she must have made a terrible mistake or that he found her impulsive kiss unpleasant. 

It was true that he cared for her, but she believed his affection was more like that of a duckling imprinting on the first being it saw after hatching, rather than romantic love. She was convinced that her kiss must have made him uncomfortable. While he often hugged her and showed affection, he had never kissed her before.

So, she decided to apologize once his mood had calmed down. But even after five days, Clyde still frowned and looked at her with smoldering eyes every time they crossed paths. Unable to bear it, she avoided him even more. She feared that if he asked, “Why did you do it?” her heart would crumble.

It was during this time that something unexpected happened.

“What exactly happened between you and the deputy commander?”

“What do you mean?”

“Did you two have a fight?”

“…”

That evening, as usual, Sir Forrest visited to deliver his report. For some reason, he came directly to the kitchen, where Hestia was, and began questioning her about the situation.

“We didn’t fight.”

Feigning ignorance, she tried to brush it off, but he wasn’t fooled. Despite his laid-back demeanor, he was sharp enough to notice that something was amiss.

“Don’t lie. If you didn’t fight, why aren’t you in the room when I come to report?”

“Well… I’ve just been… busy…”

“Busy making pie?”

“You don’t understand. This takes a lot of work. And technically, aren’t knightly matters classified information? As a commoner, I shouldn’t be hearing about them anyway.”

“What’s with this sudden concern? It’s not like you’re going to sell the information. If I cared about that, I wouldn’t have let you listen in the first place!”

Although she tried to come up with excuses, Sir Forrest wasn’t buying it. He was annoyingly perceptive at times like this.

Annoyed, Hestia cut a piece of the apple pie she had made earlier and shoved it into his mouth. While he was busy chewing, she said, 

“I just thought… we needed some boundaries. Didn’t you always tell me the same thing?”

“Mm… mmph…”

He seemed to be trying to say, “That’s true,” in his unique, whining tone. Amused, she let out a small laugh and sighed. Just then, he finished the piece of pie and slumped his shoulders, making a request.

“Then can you at least come in during the reports? Lately, he’s been so irritable that it’s scary to be alone with him. From the way he talks, it seems like he still hasn’t regained his memories, but his behavior feels like the old days. He’s ice-cold. Today, all I heard was ‘Shut up,’ ‘Get out,’ and ‘Leave.’”

“Oh dear. But no, I can’t. Think about it, Sir. I’m going to leave eventually. If I keep giving him reasons to rely on me, won’t that just delay the return of his memories? He needs to get used to being without me…”

Unable to argue further, Sir Forrest let out a deep sigh and slumped to the floor in despair. Hestia crouched down and patted his shoulder.

“You’re doing fine. Cheer up.”

“How can I?”

“Should I give you more pie? You seem to like it. Take some home and enjoy it. I made a lot, but there’s no one to eat it.”

“That sounds good. Then give it all to me.”

“Sure.”

His eyes lit up at the mention of pie, as if all his despair had vanished in an instant. Finding his reaction absurd, she chuckled briefly and stood up. Just as she reached out to help him up, a cold voice came from behind.

“What are you doing?”

Startled, she turned around to see a large shadow entering the kitchen. It was Sir Clyde. Though she had only been avoiding him for a few days, he now seemed colder, almost like a different person.

Panicking, she turned to Sir Forrest and stammered, 

“Uh… is this what you were talking about earlier?”

Sir Forrest nodded subtly several times.

“What are you doing? Aren’t you leaving?”

“I didn’t do anything! Yes, I’ll leave now! I’ll see you in five days!”

“Wait! You’re not coming for five days?”

Hestia grabbed Sir Forrest’s arm as he tried to leave and asked. He replied, 

“I have some reconnaissance work to do.”

No! 

At least with him visiting daily, she had been able to endure. Her face fell as she looked at him with a pleading expression.

“Sir Forrest! At least take some pie with you!”

Desperate to buy more time, she tried to hand him the pie. But before she could, Clyde’s voice cut in sharply.

“You’re not giving him anything. Just leave.”

“Yes, I’ll leave right away. See you later.”

Sir Forrest gave a quick bow and hurried out of the kitchen.

All events unfolded extremely quickly. Hestia could only stand there with her mouth slightly agape, murmuring, 

“Ah…”

Then, she suddenly sensed the uncomfortable silence that had settled in. Slowly, she turned around and said, “Well then, I’ll just…” intending to leave the kitchen. But at that moment, Clyde stepped sideways and blocked her path directly. It was the side leading to the kitchen exit. Startled, she looked down at his feet and spoke.

“Um… if you don’t move, I can’t leave.”

“Raise your head. Why aren’t you looking at me?”

At the pointed question, she clutched her skirt tightly. Her palms seemed to grow damp. Was it because it had been so long since she’d been this close to him? Just the fact that he was standing in front of her, looking at her, made her heart race.

As she had told Sir Forrest earlier, it was time to “draw the line.” There was nothing between them, and all she needed to do was apologize.

But she wanted to delay doing that for as long as possible. So, once again, she chose to feign ignorance and escape. She wasn’t ready to hear the words “Why did you do it?” come out of his mouth just yet.

“It’s not like that…” 

She muttered.

“Look at me.”

At that moment, she noticed his hand clenching into a fist out of the corner of her eye. Moreover, his voice was filled with frustration. It was something she had never heard from him before. Surprised, she instinctively lifted her head. Clyde immediately closed the distance between them, as if he had been waiting for this moment. His face, thinner than she remembered, was twisted into a sorrowful expression.

“Why do you look so upset?” 

“…Don’t you really know why?”

He questioned her. Looking up at him, she hesitated, unsure of how to respond. Before she could say anything, Clyde pressed further.

“What? A person who’s going to leave? That I can’t return to my original state because of you, so you’re drawing a line? That I need to get used to being without you? After saying all that, you can still smile so easily at that guy?”

Why was Sir Forrest suddenly being brought up? 

In any case, it seemed Clyde had overheard everything she had said earlier. If so, it was understandable why he felt upset. She would have felt the same way if their positions were reversed. Not only had she been avoiding him unilaterally, but he had also overheard her telling someone else, “I’m just someone who’s going to leave anyway.” Of course, it would hurt.

But this wasn’t something she could explain or comfort him about. After all, it was something she would have to endure eventually. Struggling with her thoughts, she ignored the voice in her heart screaming, “He looks so upset! Just comfort him already!” and replied coldly.