Chapter 3.2

“You know I’m right. Besides, this has always been the assumption… I’m here to help you recover, Sir Clyde. Once you regain your memories… you’ll see me as an obstacle. I’m just a commoner… and you’re someone with a status that comes with things I shouldn’t know or be involved in.”

She spoke as if it didn’t matter, forcing herself to sound indifferent. But contrary to her calm expression, she felt like she was suffocating.

“That’s why I’m trying to settle things beforehand. It’ll be better for both of us in the long run, even if it feels awkward now…”

“You said you like me.”

Her heart dropped with a loud thud. It felt as if the emotions she had been desperately hiding had been laid bare.

“…What?”

As she froze in shock, Clyde’s face contorted even more as he pressed her further.

“You said you liked me. That’s why you kissed me.”

Did I say that? 

She frantically searched her memory, but the alcohol had blurred everything.

“Ah… that… I don’t really remember…”

“Then are you going to pretend it never happened?”

“….”

It wasn’t working. She bit her lip hard and tried to run past him in a panic.

“Ah…!”

Suddenly, her body was lifted into the air. Clyde had picked her up in his arms. Without a word, he quickened his pace, the surroundings blurring as they passed by. Startled, she instinctively wrapped her arms around his neck.

When she opened her eyes again, she found herself sitting on the edge of his large bed in his room.

Still in shock and confusion, she looked at him as he knelt before her. His next words were an interrogation about what had happened earlier.

“You said you liked me. You even kissed me first. Do you really not remember?”

So this is how she would have to apologize. Dropping her shoulders, she lowered her gaze to the floor and answered.

“I think I did… I’m sorry about that. I must have been out of my mind because I was drunk.”

“…”

He said nothing. Instead, he took a deep breath. His voice came only after a long pause.

“Why are you apologizing? Did you hate it? Do you regret it?”

“…What?”

What kind of absurd question was that? 

She had expected him to be angry or annoyed, to demand why she had done such a thing.

Startled, she looked up at him again, and her breath caught. His eyes were red. Though no tears fell, he looked as if he were crying.

“Don’t you remember? You told me you liked me. You said you were hiding it. And then you asked me to forget everything for just one night and hold you.”

Did I really say such things? I must have been completely out of my mind!

She felt like she couldn’t even begin to calculate how much she needed to apologize. Just as she squeezed her eyes shut in embarrassment, he spoke again.

“I… thought you liked me. I thought you gave me permission…”

“…What?”

What was he saying? Was he implying that his feelings were the same as mine?

Unable to suppress the faint hope rising in her heart, she cautiously asked, 

“Permission… for what? Sir, weren’t you uncomfortable with me…?”

At her question, his already pained expression twisted further. This time, however, there was more disbelief than sorrow in his eyes.

“Why would I think that? You’re the one who’s uncomfortable with me. Don’t you regret confessing? Isn’t that why you’re avoiding me now? Because once you said it, you realized it wasn’t true? You’re just treating me like some pitiful fool—”

“What are you even talking about? I thought you saw me as family, Sir. That’s why… I thought you’d find what I did awkward and uncomfortable. You’ve been looking at me like I’ve frustrated you ever since. I thought you’d be angry and demand to know why I did it… because I betrayed your trust.”

As she spoke, her hands slowly clenched together, trembling slightly. She looked like a child about to be scolded.

“I crossed a line… I confessed my feelings and kissed you without permission. So it’s only right for me to apologize.”

“…”

“I’m sorry, Sir Clyde. Someone like me… daring to kiss…”

How do other people confess their feelings? 

She had never experienced it herself, so she didn’t know. But one thing was certain: no one else would do it as pathetically as she had. Surely, no one else would tremble like a frightened squirrel.

Just as she was about to continue speaking, Clyde suddenly tilted his head and leaned his beautiful face close to hers. Then, she felt the sensation of his lips pressing against hers. Before she could process it, a hot tongue slipped through the gap between her lips. Startled, she tried to pull back, but he extended his arms and grabbed her shoulders. He deepened the kiss, their tongues intertwining passionately. The pounding sound in her ears grew so loud it almost hurt.

‘Why does this feel familiar?’

She was still trying to make sense of it when the overwhelming sensation scrambled her thoughts completely. Just as her mind was spinning, Clyde pulled away. A thin string of saliva stretched between their lips, glistening before it broke, proof of how deeply they had kissed.

“If I only thought of you that way, would I kiss you like this?”

“…Pardon?”

“We kissed that night too. Just like this. For a long time. And when you asked me to hold you, we almost went further. But then you suddenly fell asleep…”

“We… we did…?”

Her face flushed hot, as if it were on fire.

Then, amidst the chaotic mess of her memories, the events from that night started to come back to her. Shocked, she finally realized what had happened and let out a shaky breath.

“Ah, I… I’m so, so sorry…”

“What exactly are you sorry for, Hestia? Do you really regret it?”

At last, Clyde raised his voice, sounding frustrated. His expression twisted into one of sadness, as if he were someone who had already been rejected.

That’s not what I meant.

In the end, Hestia couldn’t suppress the words she had been trying to bury deep inside.

“It’s not that… It’s just… someone like me, saying I like you… it must have confused you.”

You’re a knight, one of the Empire’s finest, while I’m just a commoner. Our lives are completely different. You’re only leaning on me now because you’re unwell.

“You’re still recovering, Sir Clyde… That’s why you’re relying on me. I confused you. I should have kept my feelings to myself. After all, once you regain your memories, someone like me…”

But before she could finish, his lips covered hers again. He stole her breath, deeply drawing it into himself. The slippery, heated sensation of his lips overwhelmed her, leaving her powerless. Clyde only pulled away when she started to sway from the dizziness.

This time, he spoke first, cutting off her attempt to say anything.

“I love you. I love you, Hestia! Whether or not I regain my memories, nothing will change.”

“That’s not… that’s not true…”

Sir Forrest had told her otherwise. He had said the “real” Clyde would never love her.

“Please, just believe me. Okay? These are my feelings. Why won’t you trust my words instead of someone else’s? Why do you keep looking at someone else? Smiling at someone else? Giving your hand to someone else? For the past few days, you haven’t even looked at me once…”

As he spoke, he grabbed her hand and pressed it against his face, rubbing against it desperately. His expression was one of someone begging for trust. Amidst the pounding of her heart, Hestia felt a tender warmth spreading through her.

He says he won’t change? Can I really believe that? What if he does change later?

Her mind was a whirlwind of anxiety. But those worries only lasted a moment. In the end, she tightened her grip on the hand he was holding and clasped it firmly. Then, as if to answer him, she leaned in and gave him a brief kiss on the lips.

“Then… I’ll believe you.”

At that, Clyde looked at her with hopeful, almost tearful eyes. Gathering her courage, she asked him softly.

“Can I… call you Lian?”

Calling him by a different name signified that he was now something more to her. That he was no longer just “Sir Clyde,” someone she would eventually part ways with, but someone closer, someone dearer.

In response, he lifted her into his arms effortlessly and laid her down on the bed. Gazing down at her with a gentle smile, he spoke.

“You already called me that before.”

“Did I…?”

“Yes. I thought you’d keep calling me that, but after that night, you pretended not to know me. I thought you regretted saying those things to me.”

Even though it had only been five days, he sounded as though he had been tortured by the thought.

“I like you so much… I can’t turn back anymore.”

His confession made her heart swell with emotion.

He likes me. He truly likes me.

And this time, it wasn’t impulsive. It wasn’t because of alcohol. Both of them were speaking with clear minds and honest hearts.

“I feel the same… truly…”

Overcome with emotion, she wrapped her arms around his chest. Unable to resist her embrace, Clyde’s body pressed down over hers. A deep kiss followed, and the heat between them began to spread through their entire bodies.