Chapter 1 (Part 9)

“I’m curious, so let me ask.”

“Please go ahead.”

Therese, with a face more rigid than a judge in court, looked at him.

“Do you dislike my face by any chance?”

“……Pardon?”

Caught off guard by the unexpected question, she stammered.

“You seem to avoid even making eye contact with me, so I’m asking.”

“……That’s not it.”

The reason was the exact opposite of what the Duke knew.

The reason was the exact opposite of what the Duke thought.

Like a sunflower following the sun, she instinctively kept looking at him.

His dazzling blonde hair and black eyes were beyond beautiful.

She had liked Duke Richard for a long time since childhood.

Though they didn’t share romantic feelings, it was a reason she accepted their arranged marriage a bit more easily. And Therese came to love the Duke, even though he didn’t open up to her.

Perhaps because she was starved for affection since childhood, or because she had always harbored a one-sided love for him.

‘It was inevitable.’

It was as natural as the sun rising and the moon waning.

So she couldn’t answer the Duke’s question.

She didn’t want to lie.

“If you stare at something bright for too long, you’re bound to go blind.”

What she meant to mutter to herself slipped out of her mouth.

“……Pardon?”

The Duke was about to ask more about the incomprehensible answer when the carriage arrived, and he couldn’t continue speaking to Therese, who turned away.

❖ ❖ ❖

Even with the fireplace blazing, she couldn’t bear the cold. Therese covered herself with the blanket up to her forehead, shivering. 

Had I overexerted myself and caught a cold? 

Just as she was about to pull the cord to call Sophia, a harsh cough erupted.

Cough, cough.

“……?”

Something sticky stained her hand.

Startled, she pulled back the blanket, revealing the red blood on her palm under the moonlight.

“……Ha.”

A faint, bitter smile appeared on Therese’s face as she coughed up blood.

Words from her childhood, repeated by Sophia until they were ingrained, suddenly came to mind.

‘Miss, God is always fair. Sometimes it may feel unfair, but later you’ll see it’s not.’

It was something her easygoing personality would say. But young Therese questioned those words.

‘Sophia, then what talent do I have?’

If everyone had a talent, surely she had to be good at something. However, Therese wasn’t exceptionally good at studying, nor did she show aptitude for swordsmanship or horseback riding.

‘Miss, you are blessing just by existing.’

Sophia, who hugged the disappointed Therese tightly, said so.

‘Hugging such a lovely lady makes one forget all the world’s worries. That’s something money can’t buy.’

To young Therese, Sophia’s words offered no comfort.

“Yes, Sophia. God is truly fair.”

Though Therese was given the chance to live again, she was left with the poison she last consumed.

“Wasn’t I supposed to be happy?”

Was I supposed to enjoy a temporary happiness with a body that could die at any moment?

“There were so many things I wanted to try again.”

She wanted to restart the information guild work she had given up upon marriage and enjoy the life she had abandoned.

Yes, she just wanted to live ordinarily.

Though despair made her eyes red, tears still didn’t fall. With a blood-stained hand, Therese gently stroked her belly. Though she pretended to be strong, she hadn’t forgotten her child.

Her child, gone before her belly even began to swell.

‘Madame, you are still young, so there will be plenty of opportunities.’

‘Early miscarriages are very common, so taking care of your body is more important.’

The physician comforted her as she lay in bed after the miscarriage.

Though she understood with her head that they were all right, her heart couldn’t accept it.

‘What should we do with this thing that can’t even produce an heir.’

Her mother-in-law’s added words made her feel apologetic.

It wasn’t anyone’s fault; it was just a sad event, yet no one soothed Therese’s heart.

“Sob, sob.”

Why was my life filled with nothing but suffering?

Why did God never hold my hand?

The metallic scent of blood filled the bedroom, and Therese slowly walked out of bed. Her face in the long mirror was nothing short of gloomy.

Pale skin, red lips flushed with fever, and crimson blood staining her white chemise.

“It’s a mess, really.”

Wiping the blood from her mouth and cheeks with the back of her hand, Therese turned her body. She staggered to the window and flung it open. Though the sudden cold wind made her body sway, she held onto the window frame and endured.

“I can’t just stay still.”

Though it was a terribly depressing situation, she couldn’t just squeeze out her dried-up tears. Therese recalled the name of the poison she had taken herself.

“Yes, first, I need to find an antidote.”

There was no guarantee she’d find it, and she might be too late, but.

She had to live for there to be a next step.

Her vacant eyes looked up at the sky, and an owl flew across the night sky. With large ear tufts, it was a familiar shape. When Therese extended her arm, the owl landed lightly. The owl was a gift from Roshan to communicate with her.

“Snow, it’s been a long time.”

Though it had only been a month, for her, it was actually a few years since their last meeting. As she untied the note Roshan sent, the owl immediately flew back into the sky.

“Leaving again without even a goodbye?”

She wished to see the owl a bit longer. But remembering that Snow had always been like that made her chuckle. Lost in complex thoughts, Therese stayed there until Snow became a tiny dot. It was a night where only the piercingly cold moonlight embraced her.

❖ ❖ ❖

The Duke, who was gazing at the distant forest, let out a long sigh. Having just bathed, the cold wind hit his still damp hair. He stood there for a long time, lost in deep thought, seemingly unaffected by the cold.

“Could it be that I’m mistaken?”

As he spoke, a misty breath rose into the night sky. He had never made a wrong decision. He always made rational choices, and his methods always worked. At least, they did on the battlefield.

“I believed it was the best for both of us….”

As he roughly wiped his face, a long scar on his chest peeked through the loosely tied nightgown.

“……Was it not?”

It was a night filled with many thoughts.

Before he even shed his boyishness, he became Duke Richard. It wasn’t something he wanted. He knew he would eventually succeed his father, but he never wished for it to be so soon. 

His father, reported to have died on the battlefield, was actually poisoned. Even he and his brother were secretly exposed to poison. It was a closely guarded secret known to very few. Behind the glory of being the empire’s most prestigious family, such tragedy existed. 

After losing his father, his mother changed significantly. Or perhaps she had always been that way, and he just hadn’t noticed because he was young.

‘Duke Richard! You must become the shining face of the empire. You are to be the sword for His Majesty the Emperor’s victory.’

Yet, his father, who stood at the forefront for His Majesty the Emperor, had died. 

His mother became obsessively attached to the honor and duty of nobility and pure bloodlines. He didn’t completely fail to understand it, but at some point, her behavior became burdensome to him. 

Thus, he hesitated to return home. So, when his only brother entered an academy with a dormitory, he almost completely stopped visiting. 

Whether it was fortunate or unfortunate, the monsters threatened the empire year-round, and Duke Richard could shake off his thoughts by wielding his sword.

‘But marriage…….’

Because of it, everything became a mess. 

There were complex reasons why the Emperor chose Baron Demori’s family as his match. The Richard family was a prestigious family in the Empire, and his marriage drew attention for various reasons.

‘Wouldn’t it be troublesome if you married the daughter of someone who might rebel?’

The Emperor joked, but it was close to the truth. The Emperor lived in fear of rebellion more than Jeremy Richard, who had suffered assassination attempts all his life.

‘This is the best choice for you.’

The bride chosen by the Emperor was the only daughter of Baron Demori’s family. The Emperor favored the Baron because he was straightforward and honest. The Baron’s desires were clear.

‘More wealth and a son-in-law from a decent family.’

There was no one in the empire who met the Baron’s criteria for a son-in-law better than the Richard family, so it wasn’t a wrong choice.

‘If you think about it, there’s no better bride than this, is there?’

Mentioning his secret, the Emperor’s words made the Duke frown for the first time.

‘……Ah.’

Jeremy couldn’t distinguish women’s faces except for his mother’s. He couldn’t remember when or why it started. Only he, the Emperor, and his aide knew about this. He had met with several physicians but couldn’t find the cause.

‘You may have been poisoned or cursed.’

On the battlefield, it wasn’t much of a problem. There were no women among the monsters or soldiers. But attending a ball would expose his weakness. When women with similar faces approached him, cold sweat ran down Jeremy’s back. He could distinguish voices, but unfortunately, he knew very few women.

“But there was one.”

There was one woman Jeremy’s cursed eyes could see.

He could clearly see Therese Demori’s brilliant silver hair and blue eyes. 

Again, he didn’t know why, but among the women filling the ballroom, she was the only one he could see. The Emperor, upon learning this, pushed for their marriage. However, he considered it a nominal marriage, far from a normal life.

Yet….

“Damn it, why did things get so tangled?”

Jeremy slumped onto the bed as he returned to the bedroom from the balcony. All the problems surrounding him weighed heavily on his chest.

‘If she came to destroy this family…….’

The woman with the shining blue eyes he could recognize.

He might have to harm his only wife with his own hands.

“So, I hope you’re not a spy.”

Jeremy’s voice echoed lonely in the vast, empty bedroom.