I didn’t like this unexpected answer. I poked his cheek in protest.

“Because you poke like a child.”

“When do I?”

“Now.”

“You mean touching like this?”

Poke, poke, poke, I moved my finger repeatedly.

“No, the kissing.”

“Tch.”

Somehow hearing this made me feel competitive. I kissed Rashid again. When I gently bit his lower lip, Rashid softly opened his mouth. But that was all—otherwise he remained completely passive, letting me be.

Recalling past memories, I diligently rubbed inside his mouth. Even a man as hard as rock on the outside and sharp as a blade has such delicate inner membranes. While my tongue clumsily caressed the smooth, wet surface, sticky sounds with viscosity filled the quiet inner chamber.

Rashid, who had entrusted his mouth to me, stroked my waist instead. With each deepening kiss, his grip holding me tightened.

“Haah……”

I finally raised my head after a while. I was completely exhausted from the long kiss that required my full attention. I slowly raised my body, feeling like I couldn’t do any more. My arms resting on his chest trembled.

I was definitely short of breath. It’s because I still don’t know how to breathe skillfully while kissing. I watched his reaction for a moment while panting. Even in the darkness, I could see his moistly wet lips shining softly. Thinking they were traces I had left, my hand resting on his body curled up. I felt a bit embarrassed.

Rashid moved his hand from my waist to grip my thigh. Because of my position straddling him, my dress was disheveled, leaving my bare legs exposed.

“Ah……”

A shallow sigh scattered. His body heat against my skin was too hot. As I squirmed unable to bear the heat, his hand gently followed along.

I looked down at Rashid reproachfully.

‘Too much……”

His chest was exposed through his carelessly opened robe. And that wasn’t all. Through the places where we touched with only thin cloth between us, I felt like I could tell all the curves of his body, even the texture of his skin.

‘Why is the robe so thin anyway.’

Ah, is it because it’s summer? Why does it have to be summer of all times.

「Rashid looked up at Alisa with eyes wet with heat.」

Between releasing heated breaths, letters wavered and appeared in the darkness.

My heart felt like it would burst. The sound of my pulse pounded heavily in my ears.

“Mmm……”

I tried to push away his hand to stop him but what came out of my mouth was a sweet breath. Unable to believe my own voice, I made a crying face. This makes it seem like I’m seducing him.

As if claiming that wasn’t my intention, I hung my head low and shook it. My hair swung wildly following the direction of my movement.

“Alisa.”

Rashid called me. His tone was gentle, as if soothing me that it was okay.

Leaning on that kindness, I barely managed to raise my face. My cheeks felt burning hot.

“Don’t go.”

“……Where? The imperial palace?

When I answered in a small voice, Rashid reached out his other arm to cup my face.

“Anywhere. Nowhere.”

A temperature cooler than my thoroughly heated cheeks enveloped me. Finding that pleasant, I slowly placed my hand over his.

I felt the wedding ring neatly fitted on the fourth finger. The sensation of the cold metal was somehow welcome. When I pressed his protruding hand bone slightly while wearing a faint smile, Rashid moved his hand as if in response.

“I need you.”

His voice calling me sounded so desperate. No, perhaps I just want to believe it was.

“Don’t lie.”

“It’s true. I can’t do without you.”

“Why……”

“What do you think?”

The question came back as another question.

I felt anxious and stifled. I wanted an answer. It felt like I shouldn’t come up with the answer to that question alone. I wanted to know his intentions more precisely.

“Rashid.”

I called his name to ask again. My voice scattered weakly like a sigh.

In response, Rashid pulled my hand to kiss it repeatedly. On my palm, on the back, on my fingers…… My heart churned and throbbed roughly at his careful movements, like he’s handling something very precious and fragile.

Why are you doing this to me? Why are you being so tender?

This is almost as if……

‘As if you love me.’

When my thoughts reached that point, suddenly my breath caught.

Love? That’s impossible.

Rashid’s love isn’t prepared for me. The owner of that love, the person who will become Rashid’s lover, is someone else. So he can’t possibly love me.

Then, why are you saying such things to me? Why are you shaking me?

Countless emotions whirled violently like a vortex. I watched Rashid while vainly caressing his chest. Like the moon cutting through the pitch-black night, it felt like Rashid’s eyes were piercing through my heart.

The moonlight shining into me clearly revealed the bottom of the vortex. The chaos helplessly exposed its inner flesh under the vivid light, and I finally realized what was residing there.

……It was joy.

The moment I realized this, tears fell like monsoon rain.

* * *

I don’t know how the night passed. Time flew by like an arrow released from a bow.

I ended up crying loudly, and Rashid had to stay up all night trying to comfort me.

I cried so much it felt like I could make a river and form an ocean with my tears.

After crying for a long time, pouring out all my body’s moisture, I hiccupped in his embrace. My head felt dizzy from the fever.

Rashid gently patted my back. From his perspective, he must have felt like he was suddenly subjected to misfortune, but his calm way of comforting me without panicking only stimulated my tear ducts again.

I’m sorry but I can’t help it. My insides were too complicated; I had no room to embrace his feelings.

Having fallen asleep near dawn from crying exhaustion, I barely woke up around lunchtime. My eyes were so swollen from crying they only opened halfway. The narrowed field of vision was uncomfortable. It seemed there was hardly any difference between having them open or closed.

“Are you awake?”

Rashid’s voice came from above my head.

“……Yes.”

When I lowered my head to hide my face from him, Rashid carefully kissed my forehead.

Usually since Rashid wakes up early and I wake up a bit later, he’s often already left the bed in the morning.

But today, even with the sun high in the sky, he was still staying by my side. He’s probably being considerate because I cried. My heart ached again at his small but thoughtful tenderness.

Even after waking up, I dawdled in bed for a while. Rashid waited for me calmly and faithfully. He called Macy to bring tea, and even got a towel soaked in cold water to gently wipe my eyes.

“You can go attend to your business first…… you must be busy.”

“Well, it seems you won’t be able to see ahead. With your eyes so swollen, you probably can’t even get up from bed alone.”

Eek…. I opened my closed eyes as wide as possible and glared at him. Rashid chuckled and lightly pinched my cheek.

“Were you that moved to cry so much?”

I pressed my lips together. While I was rolling my eyes around wondering how to answer, Rashid continued unconcerned.

“Or do you dislike it? Thinking you should divorce but why is this happening?”

“……Which do you think it is?”

“Well.”

I grabbed his robe sleeve. My gaze kept falling. I needed to say something quickly……

“It doesn’t matter either way.”

Rashid lifted my chin with his finger. At my naturally raised gaze, his face appeared. My image was reflected fully in Rashid’s golden eyes.

“Either way, you’ll be by my side.”

“Rashid.”

“Even if you don’t like me now…… I need you.”

Impossible. How could I not like you? Even though you don’t really think that yourself, what nonsense are you saying?

“Are you still finding it very difficult?”

“What?”

“Being a duchess.”

“That……”

“You don’t have to do it if it’s hard.”

I stared at him blankly, wondering what he meant. Then Rashid gave me a brief kiss.

Surprised by the lips that suddenly swooped in without warning, my body naturally drew back. Rashid quickly supported my back and embraced me, preventing me from escaping further.

“Just do what you like.”

“……”

“Don’t do anything you dislike. Just think about staying by my side.”

“Rashid, I……”

“Trust me.”

He cut off my words. I tightened my grip on Rashid’s robe.

“There probably isn’t a better husband than me anyway.”

“……Where did you get that confidence?”

“Am I wrong?”

“Good grief……”

Unable to say he was wrong, I just turned my head slightly, pretending to be dumbfounded. Rashid didn’t miss that moment and softly kissed my cheek. Then my eyes, forehead, and bridge of my nose.

Meeting him as he returned to my lips, I felt joy once again.

* * *

‘I’m crazy, I’m crazy!’

After Rashid left the bedroom, I clutched both my cheeks and thrashed about wildly. When he disappeared after making me thoroughly enchanted with his sweet words, I suddenly felt like waking from a dream and falling into reality.

After writhing for a while thinking about last night and just now, I lay back down on the bed and hugged his pillow tightly. The white pillow had a scent similar to his, making it feel like I was embracing him.

‘So, does this mean Rashid likes me?’

His gaze toward me, his words to me, even the touch of his hands—everything about Rashid was saying that.

‘Impossible. Why? Why would he like me? Is it because I’m the first love role in the original work? But……”

According to my memory, in the novel, after Rashid connects with Priscilla, he realizes his feelings for Alisa and Priscilla are different. Then Rashid buries Alisa in his heart.