Although the direction is different from now, I’ve achieved something similar, so it’s fine. Isn’t it even better since I don’t have to lift a finger?

‘I can achieve it later. There’s plenty of time.’

I spoke while mentally sketching a future that had not yet come.

“I wanted to live like that. I still do. I will live like that, later.”

“Without me?”

For a moment, I doubted my ears. As I glanced around and slightly turned my head, Rashid was looking at me. His golden eyes shine even more brilliantly at night. Like a full moon, his gaze that burned through the darkness and reached me suddenly felt frightening.

I avoided his eyes and mumbled.

“……Yes.”

Without Rashid, alone. Or with someone else. Where? Somewhere that’s not Granrose or Camelli, somewhere without Rashid.

But I found myself already accustomed to daily life with Rashid.

‘A year isn’t short.’

It was a long but short, short but long time. During that time, he was always by my side, whether I wanted it or not, and so, even as I wished for separation, I gradually came to regard daily life with him as natural.

‘It shouldn’t be like this.’

“Without you.”

Then Rashid gripped my hand tightly.

* * *

I left saying I was tired and went into the bedroom. Rashid didn’t stop me.

Macy, who followed me in first, prepared my bed. There was no waste in Macy’s movements as she sprayed perfume on the pillow and prepared lemon water for me to drink during the night.

I lay down on the bed and closed my eyes.

I thought I would fall asleep quickly because I was tired, but for some reason, sleep didn’t come. I tossed and turned several times, changing positions. But even as my mind became hazy with fatigue, I still couldn’t fall asleep.

Thinking a drink of water might help, I reluctantly got up. Just as I was about to lie back down after taking a sip of water from the glass, it happened.

“Ugh……”

A sound came from somewhere. What is it? Surprised, I listened for a moment, and the groaning sound became louder.

“Haa, hic……”

I got up from the bed and moved towards the sound. It was coming from beyond a door on one side of the bedroom. Putting my ear to the door and paying attention, I heard the sound once more from inside.

‘……It’s Rashid.’

The bedrooms in the ducal mansion are connected by a door between the Duke and Duchess’s rooms.

When I first learned this fact, I was a bit embarrassed, but it wasn’t strange for a couple’s bedrooms to be connected. I thought I could just ignore the existence of that door by not opening it.

The door wasn’t locked. It wasn’t even designed to be locked in the first place. I opened the door and crossed over to his bedroom. By then, my eyes had adjusted to the darkness, making it easier to move.

Rashid was lying on the bed.

“Rashid.”

I approached the bed and called his name, but he didn’t wake up. Rashid was groaning, drenched in cold sweat. Looking closely, his face was also wet, perhaps from tears.

Is he sick? Rashid?

I was perplexed. I wiped his eyes and cheeks with the sleeve of my chemise.

What should I do in this situation? Should I call a servant? If I ring the bell, someone will come running immediately.

‘But then I’d have to show Rashid’s appearance.’

Is it okay to expose the Duke’s weak side to the servants? It felt different from when I was sick. Shouldn’t I at least ask him first?

When I turned on the bedside light, his face was illuminated by a soft crimson glow. His deeply furrowed expression looked very unwell. As I was debating whether to call a doctor and about to pull the bell rope, at that moment.

“Huh!”

Rashid opened his eyes.

He swiftly rose and gripped my shoulders tightly. It was a nimble movement like a wild beast discovering its prey.

“Ah!”

His grip was so strong that my shoulders instantly felt crushed. My face involuntarily grimaced. It felt like my bones might crumble if this continued.

“Rashid! It’s okay, it’s me.”

I hurriedly tried to calm Rashid. The golden eyes that had been blazing with wariness glared at me fiercely, but soon extinguished the fire within them.

Recognizing me, Rashid took deep, ragged breaths. Then he slowly rested his forehead on my shoulder.

I gently patted his back. His hot breath warmed the skin beneath the fabric. His breathing gradually steadied. Seeing him regain composure because of me gave me a strange sense of satisfaction.

“Are you feeling a bit calmer now?”

“Alisa……”

“Yes.”

“Alisa.”

Rashid called my name repeatedly. As if checking if I was really here…… His anxious voice trembled and scattered into the darkness of the night.

“Yes, it’s Alisa.”

As I answered Rashid’s question several times, he hugged me tightly. The space between him and me was filled densely without even the slightest gap. I was a bit flustered by how his body felt burning hot where it touched mine.

What should I do, I wondered, and then stretched out my arms. Rashid’s back was so broad that it was difficult to embrace him completely. I wanted to let him know for certain that I existed here. Because I thought that might reassure him a little.

At this moment, he wasn’t the black panther that ruled the forest, but a frightened little rabbit. A pitiful being seeking someone to trust and rely on, something I couldn’t help but keep an eye on. That was Rashid right now. It was truly unfamiliar and heartbreaking.

“Are you hurting somewhere? Should I call a doctor?”

“No.”

“Then did you have a nightmare?”

“……Yes.”

He answered obediently. That’s a relief. A bad dream is better than being sick. I let my guard down a little.

“It’s okay, it was just a dream.”

“Is that so.”

“Of course. Your clothes are wet, should we change them?”

As I stood up to find clothes, he grabbed my wrist. He was like a child.

“Just a moment, I’m only going to get clothes.”

Only after soothing him once more did his grip loosen. Rashid, who had had a nightmare, looked so fragile that it was hard to believe he was the Empire’s strongest warrior, and I found it fascinating.

I rummaged through the wardrobe in the bedroom and brought back a suitable shirt. I also grabbed a towel placed by the bed.

“Here, change into this. And wipe off your sweat with the towel.”

Rashid stripped off his shirt right where he was sitting. His well-muscled upper body was suddenly revealed without warning.

‘Ah……”

To think he would act so quickly! Shouldn’t he at least give me time to move away?!

Not knowing where to look, I cast my gaze downward. The light from the lamp entered between the creases of the crumpled blanket, creating a stark contrast between the bright and dark areas. For a moment, I just traced those shadows with my eyes.

‘I was going to wipe his sweat, but I can’t do that now.’

My face felt hot. Thankfully, the lamplight was a warm color. Even if my cheeks had flushed, it probably wouldn’t be noticeable.

While I was at a loss, fidgeting with my hands clasped together, Rashid changed into the new clothes.

He strode over and sat on the edge of the bed, gently placing his hand on my shoulder.

“Are you alright?”

He asked. It seemed he had now fully regained his senses.

“Did I…… that is, did I not act violently towards you?”

“Pardon?”

What does he mean? My head tilted in confusion.

So he’s asking if he hit me or not, is that it?

I shook my head.

“No. You did grab my shoulders too tightly a little while ago…… But that’s all.”

“Really?”

“Of course. If you had, I’d be resenting you terribly by now.”

Absolutely. If Rashid had hit me, I would have been stomping my feet demanding compensation while crying bloody murder. That is, if I hadn’t fainted first…. Honestly, if he were to hit me, I’d consider it attempted murder.

I could see him rolling his eyes in the darkness. He seemed confused, as if finding it strange that he hadn’t treated me roughly.

‘Don’t tell me he wanted to hit me that badly……”

Well, considering all the money I’ve spent, he might have wanted to give me a slap. I did cause some trouble too.

But that should remain just a thought; he must never actually hit me.

‘He’s not that kind of person anyway.’

I couldn’t understand what he was so worried about. Anyway, I reassured Rashid again.

“Nothing happened, Rashid. I woke you because you seemed to be in pain, and you just sat up suddenly. Are you okay? Can you go back to sleep?”

He closed his mouth at my question.

“……Are you worried you might have another nightmare?”

“……”

He must be worried. What should I do? Rashid didn’t want to sleep because he’s afraid of having nightmares. I wonder what kind of dream frightens him so much.

“……Should I stay beside you until you fall asleep?”

He nodded slightly at my suggestion.

My feelings were complicated. On one hand, I was glad he nodded, and on the other hand, I thought maybe I shouldn’t have.

And yet another part of me wondered why I had said such a thing.

I found myself ridiculous. Words that differed from thoughts, actions that differed from words, thoughts that differed from actions…. Everything was a mess. I want to avoid him while wanting to be by his side at the same time. It was a clear contradiction.

‘Anyway, right now I’m just taking care of someone who’s frightened.’

Though it’s hard to believe that frightened person is none other than Rashid, it’s still the truth.