“Yes.”

Rashid answered calmly. To me, it sounded as if he was saying he had never been terribly angry.

After fighting and making up over my trip to Elzedun, we buried the matter as if by agreement. We had been pretending not to know, afraid of making each other angry again.

‘I’m not sure if digging this up again is the right thing to do.’

But I remembered and wanted to talk about it.

“I wasn’t trying to take her side.”

It was easier when I couldn’t see Rashid’s face. Even though not seeing doesn’t mean everything, it just felt that way.

“The situation was unavoidable then. I was anxious about what might happen, and also…… worried things might not go as planned if I just sent Kendrick.”

“I don’t want to hear another man’s name in bed.”

“……Ah, really.”

I was being serious!

When I protested by shifting my body at Rashid’s joke, his low laughter came through the blanket.

“I know. However……”

“However?”

“However, I think I was afraid.”

“Of what?”

Was it Natalie? Or the conflict with Limnike? No, that couldn’t be. Then what could have made him afraid?

Though I was curious, no answer came.

“Rashid?”

Did he fall asleep? I rustled out from under the blanket.

When I peeked out, I felt his gaze on me.

“I thought you were asleep.”

He just laughed softly.

The next moment, he kissed me.

* * *

The next day, the hunter and Lian returned home with my send-off.

“Thank you so much, my lady. Could we see you again?”

The child who was reluctant to part stamped his feet restlessly.

I hugged Lian tightly.

“Yes, let’s meet again. Listen well to your uncle, and stay healthy.”

“Yes! And next time…… I’ll come back as someone like the Happy Prince!”

After they left, quiet daily life continued.

I often soaked in the hot spring. Fortunately, I didn’t run into Rashid there again.

At night, I would fall asleep after quietly talking with Rashid. Sometimes, we discussed quite serious and careful topics like governing the domain or trends in politics. I listened earnestly because I wanted to understand him better, and I spoke just as much.

Everything was peaceful. I was happy in my own way. My health had improved significantly and there were many enjoyable things. These were precious memories worth keeping for a long time.

* * *

When I returned to Camelli in a much fresher mood, Anna had already hung mistletoe wreaths at my bedside.

Not just the bed, but the entire castle was covered in mistletoe wreaths.

“What’s this?”

“Anna made lots of decorations while you were away, my lady.”

“So you wouldn’t miss your homeland, my lady!”

When Macy told on her, Anna protested.

After listening with sparkling eyes before, she had finally gone ahead and hung the decorations.

I praised Anna’s initiative with a smile.

“Did you make these yourself? They’re well made.”

The wreaths woven with mistletoe branches and adorned with holly berries and cotton were lovely to look at. I told her to leave them as they were, and Anna was very pleased.

“Can I leave them in other places too?”

“Go ahead.”

Anna grinned and elbowed Macy. Macy shook her head in horror.

“Why? Do you dislike mistletoe, Macy?”

“No! Not at all, my lady!”

Macy shook her head vigorously again and again. Not knowing what was going on, I just shrugged it off.

I instructed Sylvester to send gifts to a hunter’s cabin in Terde. Soon, clothes, toys, and long-lasting food would be delivered to Lian in Penvernon’s name.

“Seems like excessive attention.”

That night, under the mistletoe wreath, Rashid grumbled. Though his expression was emotionless as usual with his solemn air and low voice, it was definitely grumbling.

“Lian is a growing sprout of the Penvernon territory. Besides, we’ve met him in person.”

I turned toward him as I spoke. Rashid, who was leaning against the bed’s headboard, gently stroked my hair as I lay there. His hand touching near my eyes made them flutter involuntarily.

The next moment, he leaned down to kiss me.

I didn’t avoid Rashid but accepted him.

His lips gently collided with mine. At first, it was a soft sensation that pressed down lightly. After slightly overlapping our lips like a tickle, he soon opened up and came in deep, rubbing against the wet membrane.

“Mmm……”

A soft moan escapes between parted lips. I must not have talent for kissing. I kept running short of breath.

He naturally put his weight on my body and climbed on top.

“No……”

Startled, I twisted my head away to avoid him.

“Alisa.”

“Don’t.”

This wasn’t right.

This was somewhere I couldn’t go. A dream that shouldn’t be dreamed further. I barely held on while standing on tiptoe on that drawn line. Just before the taut string of reason snapped, I grabbed hold of it again firmly.

“How much longer must I wait?”

Rashid spoke while keeping me trapped in his arms. His gaze seemed soaked in some kind of yearning.

“Don’t wait.”

When I firmly refused, he gently stroked my lips. I felt a bit embarrassed about how they must be glistening with saliva. What expression am I making right now? I stared quietly into his eyes, trying to see my reflection in his irises to find out.

“You make me live in celibacy despite having a wife.”

“There’s nothing we can do about it.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m going to get divorced……”

“Until then, we’re still married.”

That was true.

My relationship with Rashid was strange. We’re a couple married for political reasons, saying we want divorce while I accept his warmth like this… It was a contradictory attitude that time had given me.

How should I appease him? After hesitating for a moment, I lifted my head and lightly kissed his cheek.

“Won’t this do for now?”

At that, Rashid’s face hardened. Not knowing what to do, I just rolled my eyes around, and he burst out laughing.

“I can’t win against you.”

And then he held me in his arms. I also reached out and hugged Rashid’s neck. His body temperature and mine overlapped and gradually became the same temperature.

Being like this was comfortable. So much that I wanted to stay like this forever if I didn’t know he was the male protagonist of some romance novel.

However, at the same time, I felt some guilt.

Sometimes I felt like a traitor to the original story, having stolen a fate that should belong to someone else.

‘But maybe this is okay for now.’

So just for a moment. Let’s stay like this a little longer.

Because I want to make him a little less sad. And because this…… makes me peaceful.

Even if these feelings went against the future I knew, I wanted to fully feel the world around me at this moment.

Time passed while I held him to sleep, sharing breaths both shallow and deep, suffering from immeasurable ambivalence.

The frozen river began to thaw gradually. The snow piled thick on tree branches also melted and fell to the ground.

Camellia flowers dyed the wet ground, making Camelli’s garden all red. When this color fades, soon spring will carefully reveal itself in pale green.

One day, while waiting for familiar scenery to arrive, Anna exclaimed joyfully.

“It’s almost your birthday, my lady!”

My birthday was between winter and spring. It was also the real Alisa’s birthday.

“Will you prepare a banquet, my lady?”

I shook my head at Macy’s question.

Though we held a grand banquet for Rashid’s birthday, that was in the capital. Here, there was no need to gather various high nobles, and I didn’t want to either. First of all, it’s tiring. And there’s no one here to show off to about how I’m wasting resources.

“I’ll just spend it quietly.”

“But it’s a day that only comes once a year.”

“It comes back every year though.”

Macy drooped her shoulders dejectedly and lowered her eyes.

“You must have been very tired during the last banquet, do you really want to do it again?”

“But it’s your birthday, my lady…… I thought everyone would be disappointed.”

“Who would be disappointed? I don’t want to just create more work.”

There was no need to make a fuss since holding a banquet would only be tiring.

Anna and Macy weren’t the only ones who remembered my birthday.

That evening, at our usual dinner, Rashid brought up the same thing.

“Your birthday is coming up soon.”

“Yes, it is.”

Ah, he remembered. I was thinking whether I should tell him if he didn’t know, but that would be a bit embarrassing.

“I was thinking of holding a banquet.”

“No need.”

I refused immediately.

“But we can’t just ignore the Duchess of Penvernon’s birthday.”

“What does it matter, we’re not even in the capital. Besides, you’re busy these days.”

The day to return to Granrose was approaching. Before that, Rashid was busy running around again taking care of Camelli’s internal affairs and nurturing various policies.

“I have plenty of time to spare for my wife’s birthday.”

“Use that time to work hard instead.”

When I answered like that, there were no more pleading words, so I thought he understood and happily ate my meal. The dishes made with Camelli’s specialties were very delicious.