Fish Don't Know About Water - Chapter 35

He gently wiped my face with the handkerchief, as if washing a baby. Every time the soft silk brushed my nose, his subtle scent wafted over me.

— This handkerchief doesn’t suit you at all, Commander…

— You always have something to say.

He stopped wiping the blood and wrapped the handkerchief around my nose. He pinched my nostrils with his thumb and forefinger and shook them slightly. He clicked his tongue and laughed softly when our eyes met.

— Who would think you’re a bride who’s about to be married?

— Marriage…

Remembering the reality I had momentarily forgotten in the pile of bodies, I became frightened. I looked down at my apron stained with red blood, pressing my nose into the collar of my blouse, which reeked of blood. It smelled of death.

— Can’t we postpone the wedding…?

I mumbled, suddenly sullen, and His Highness looked at me with a puzzled expression.

— Why, all of a sudden?

— Getting married on a day filled with death and screams feels wrong.

— Has there been a day without that since the war started?

— Well, that’s true, but…

— If we think like that, we should wait until the war ends to get married.

He leaned on the windowsill with his arms crossed, his eyes narrowing sharply. He looked at me with eyes like storm clouds for a moment, then asked in a subdued voice.

— If it really bothers you… should I ask Father to postpone the date?

I stood there blankly for a moment, then shook my head. I felt a bit embarrassed for making a fuss.
His Highness must be just as confused as I am before the ceremony, yet I acted like a child throwing a tantrum. (Is this what they call marriage blues?)

— You haven’t eaten, have you?

His Highness took something wrapped in red paper from his pocket. It was a chocolate bar distributed to soldiers during afternoon training. He unwrapped the chocolate himself and put it in my mouth.
As the sweet taste spread in my mouth, my foggy mind began to clear. (This is bad. The doctor told me to avoid sweets while taking the magic potion!)

— Who said I skipped a meal?

I asked with wide eyes.

— Those helping out over there. They’re my subordinates.

His Highness gestured over his shoulder. I saw soldiers busily carrying the wounded in the hospital yard beyond his shoulder.

— Eat some.

He pressed the half-eaten chocolate against my lower lip.

— I’m not hungry…

I shook my head and declined, but his gaze became more determined.

— Eat some anyway.

In the end, I had to eat the entire chocolate bar in front of him. He only turned away after I had emptied the remaining almond pieces from the wrapper into my mouth.

— I have an appointment, so I won’t be able to pick you up myself. I’ll send my adjutant, so come to the cathedral with him.

He stepped forward with a new cigarette in his mouth. Just then, he stopped and slightly shook his broad shoulders. After standing still, lost in thought for a while, he turned to me.

— Don’t think of coming with that doctor.

— Doctor? You mean the doctor?

— Yes, that pale guy.

— But the doctor is my father’s proxy…

— As a proxy for the Count, do you plan to hold that young guy’s hand and walk into the ceremony?

— Of course not. The doctor isn’t my family.

I shook my head firmly, and His Highness’s expression softened a bit. He almost smiled, then turned away without a word and started walking briskly. Even as he quickly moved away, I could clearly see him trying to light his cigarette.

— Stop smoking from now on!

I leaned halfway out the window and shouted at his retreating back. He paused in his tracks. The hand holding the lighter stopped.

— If the groom gets close to fire and smoke before the wedding, a black demon will settle in the venue and curse the bride!

— …What a ridiculously elaborate superstition…

— I can hear you muttering from here!

He shrugged lightly at my shout. There was still a cigarette between his fingers, and it was already lit, the tip glowing red. (Such a heavy smoker!)

— It’s not a superstition! My grandmother said that my mother’s life was hard because my father was close to fire and smoke before their wedding!

When I shouted emotionally, he flinched with the cigarette in his mouth. After a moment of hesitation, he threw the lit cigarette onto the dirt ground. I watched with satisfaction as he stomped out the cigarette with his boot.

— Good job! See you later!

I smiled as I watched him walk away briskly, but then I felt a gaze on me. I also smelled the acrid scent of cigarettes nearby. I quickly turned my head, following the gaze and the smell. Leaning over the windowsill, I looked around the building’s exterior.

— Pepe. Anyone listening would think you’re coaxing a hunting dog.

A fellow nurse was leaning against the wall, smoking a cigarette. (What was her name again?)

— By the way, Pepe. The wedding reception at the Commander’s residence at X o’clock, everyone must bring their invitations, right?

She blew out a puff of smoke and asked. I hesitated before answering.

— Uh, yeah…

— What’s wrong? You don’t seem very enthusiastic.

— Actually, I’m wondering if it’s okay to have a party during wartime…

— What are you worrying about now?

The nameless nurse clicked her tongue as she stubbed out her cigarette on the wall.

— Don’t you know that children are born even during wartime?

— What does that have to do with this?

— It means love blooms even during war. Just like you and the prince.

She giggled and approached the window where I was standing.

— It’s a rare chance to legally drink and have fun in the camp. Who would pass that up? If not today, we auxiliary nurses won’t get a proper break until the comrades’ night event!

— Really…?

— Yes. Everyone wants to wash away the exhaustion of the day with a warm drink. So make sure to prepare plenty of expensive liquor from the Commander’s vault.

— And lots of young, fit officers!

Another nurse passing by the window suddenly chimed in. I scratched my messy hair with an embarrassed look.
Young officers? We did invite many of the prince’s colleagues, but I don’t know if they’re fit. (I haven’t seen them, so of course!)

……

The field hospital, which had been flooded with injured soldiers, finally quieted down by late evening. The captain and my colleagues, who had gone through a tough day, all collapsed on the bare floor, exhausted.
I sat down heavily among them, wiping my sweat, and then quickly got up and ran to the operating room where the doctor was.

— Doctor, are you done?

I shouted as I threw open the door, and the doctor, who was cleaning up the operating table, shook his head.

— Not yet. You go ahead. I’ll follow you to the cathedral soon.

— Got it. See you at the cathedral!

I ran to the changing room and quickly put on the white dress I had prepared in advance. I looked at myself in the mirror inside the cabinet.
I didn’t look like a bride who’s about to get married at all. With my disheveled hair and exhausted face, I looked like a refugee. (It’s unfair. This is one of the prettiest dresses I brought from Costonia!)

— Wait! Wait a minute, Pepe!

I had barely managed to wipe off the blood splatters on my face and was about to run to the cathedral when a fellow nurse grabbed me in alarm. It was the girl who had told me to prepare some fit officers earlier.

— What’s with your face, bride? His Highness will be shocked! Come here!

She forcibly sat me down on a nearby drum and started applying makeup to my face and combing my hair. Other colleagues, who didn’t have critical patients to attend to, began to gather and help her. They all seemed excited, like they were playing with a doll, as they patted unknown substances onto my face.

— Oh, look at that, even the bride gets makeup?

Captain XX, passing by with a box of morphine, laughed heartily when she saw me.

— Psycho, you actually look pretty decent when you’re all dolled up.

— Really? Am I pretty?

— Who said you were pretty? I just said you look decent!

The captain snorted and walked away, and my colleagues, after checking their wristwatches, hurriedly pushed me out of the field hospital.

— Hurry up! You’ll be late!

— Yeah, thanks for the makeover.

— No problem, see you at the reception.

— Okay!

— Do well, Pepe!

I ran towards the cathedral, leaving behind their cheers. I could hear advice to not make a fuss and listen quietly to the officiant, and pleas or cries to keep my mouth shut during the ceremony.
Even those who had been distant since nursing school or had never spoken to me before were now cheering me on? It made my heart feel warm.
I felt my heart pounding painfully as I hurried along. (I thought everyone disliked me!)

……