Chapter 4.15

It had been a terrible day.  

As Luette entered the marital bedroom, that was the only thought in his mind.  

When Lady Gwen had approached him with a somber face, saying it was a disaster, he hadn’t felt this way.  

‘You don’t know how I feel.’

The voice of his mother lingered in his ears. It sounded as though she resented him.  

‘If you knew what I’ve been through, you wouldn’t dare say such things.’  

Her eyes reddened as though she was overwhelmed by sorrow. Looking at his mother like that, he let out a powerless smile. He wanted to tell her that she didn’t understand what he was going through either, but he no longer had the will to say such things.  

‘Don’t be too impatient, Mother. A child isn’t something I can have all by myself.’  

In the end, that was all he could say. To make matters worse, he even smiled at her in reassurance.  

“Master, I’ve brought the whiskey you requested.”  

With a cautious knock, a maid entered carrying a bottle of whiskey and a glass. She was one of the maids brought from Melfir

… Damn it, what was her name again?  

“Leave it there and go.”  

“Yes, Lord. I’ll bring Madam shortly.”  

The maid with brown hair tiptoed towards the corridor where the bathroom was located. Even that sight annoyed him. As soon as they arrived at the townhouse, all the servants acted as though they were walking on eggshells around him. Considering what had happened before, their behavior was understandable, but it still irritated him. Everything right now was just…  

Watching the maid enter the bathroom, Luette finally remembered the last task of the day.  

The conjugal duty. The act of sharing a bed to produce an heir.  

An obligation that wouldn’t be complete without a child. The thought of it was absurd no matter how many times he considered it.  

In the end, he muttered a curse under his breath and reached out to grab the whiskey bottle the maid had brought. The golden liquid he poured into the glass carried a sharp alcoholic scent. It wasn’t the kind of drink suitable for consuming before bed, and the reason why such a drink had been brought was obvious. That obvious reason annoyed him even more.  

“Are you sure you’re alright?”  

“I’m fine. I’m just tired.”  

The soft voice came after he had already taken a considerable sip from his glass. Soon, Solnia entered the bedroom.  

She was dressed in a thin gown that barely covered her. Her exposed calves and wrists were strikingly pale. His gaze traveled upward and landed on her light brown hair, still damp from her bath. A maid was carefully drying her hair. And then…  

“……”  

He saw Solnia’s face. What on earth had she done in the bathroom to make her cheeks so flushed? Her makeup-free eyes looked somewhat softer than usual.  

“I’ll take my leave now, Madam.”  

The maid, sensing the atmosphere, quickly left the bedroom, closing the door behind her.  

*

This was a dreadful situation, one he hadn’t even encountered in his dreams.  

Luette Trovill, similarly dressed in a gown as though he had just taken a bath, and herself, barely clothed, in the same room.  

What unsettled Solnia the most, however, was the way his gaze had been fixed on her since earlier.  

“Have you been drinking?”  

Her eyes were drawn to the whiskey glass in his hand. The bottle on the small table was already half-empty.  

When had he managed to drink that much?  

She hadn’t taken long to get ready. After all, this wasn’t the kind of occasion that required elaborate preparations. Solnia had only done the bare minimum—tidying her eyebrows and applying a fragrant oil. It had barely been thirty minutes, but when had he…  

“Are you drunk?”  

“……”  

Once again, there was no reply. She wanted to make a biting remark about whether his lips were glued shut, but she couldn’t bring herself to. The atmosphere simply didn’t allow for it.  

Luette Trovill slowly tilted his head, as if appraising the person standing before him.  

A mix of irritation, shame, and fear rose within her all at once. Without realizing it, Solnia fumbled to tighten the collar of her gown.  

Luette Trovill’s gaze followed her movements.  

The slip she wore beneath her silk gown had a deep neckline. When Solnia adjusted her gown’s collar, the motion accentuated her curves. Fixating on that made the figure before him seem distinctly feminine.  

Wicked thoughts began to surface.  

“Perhaps having a child would make things easier for both of us.”  

His low murmur left Solnia pale with shock. She was such a simple woman.  

“You said we needed to act like a proper married couple. Having a child might be beneficial for you as well, Miss Solnia.”  

“You’re drunk.”  

Her voice, calm yet sharp, cut through the air.  

“You’re clearly not in your right mind, so let me make this clear: having a child was never part of the agreement. Besides, pregnancy isn’t something that happens so easily. Most importantly, I have no intention of getting pregnant. And…”  

“……”  

“You should stop now, my lord.”  

A faint sneer appeared on his lips.  

Am I drunk?  

It seemed likely. The room already felt uncomfortably warm, and his heartbeat was loud and unrelenting. Above all…  

“If we spend a few nights together, even if there’s no child, at least the gossipy servants might spread the word that we’ve been trying.”  

The fact that such words escaped his mouth confirmed his drunkenness. He could clearly see her horrified expression, yet he still said it.  

“I told you I don’t want this.”  

Solnia’s voice was firm.  

“I’m clearly rejecting this.”  

Her fists were clenched tightly by now. Solnia was starting to feel angry. No matter how drunk or despicable he was, how could he say such things?  

“This situation might be familiar to you, my lord, but it isn’t to me. So don’t you dare lay a finger on me.”  

Luette Trovill let out a faint laugh, as if mocking her. Then, with a gesture, he politely indicated the bed.  

Seeing that, her anger surged even more, and she glared at him fiercely for a while.  

That was a mistake. She had spent the entire carriage ride worrying about his dark expression, wondering if something had happened. What a waste of concern. Who was she to worry about him? It was utterly ridiculous.  

“I’m sorry, but even if you glare at me as if you’d tear me apart, I’m not leaving.”  

“I hope you feel utterly embarrassed about this moment tomorrow morning.”  

With those words, Solnia turned to the bedside table. In the first drawer, there was a bottle of pills. Without hesitation, she took one out. It was a night where she couldn’t imagine falling asleep without it.  

Yet, as she held the pill in her hand, she hesitated, wondering what might happen while she was asleep.  

“Can’t you stop taking those pills?”  

His voice, tinged with irritation, pierced her ears. Now even her sleeping pills were a source of annoyance to him. Why was everything he did so infuriatingly messy?  

“I’m taking it because I don’t think I can sleep properly otherwise…”  

As she began to explain, Solnia suddenly turned to look at him.  

As expected, Luette Trovill’s face was contorted as if he had seen something filthy.  

“What do you think this is?”  

“……”  

“Ha.”  

She had suspected it, and she was right. Luette Trovill thought these pills were some kind of medication for mental illness.  

She had forgotten. It was entirely possible that he, too, saw her as a madwoman.  

“Let me make it clear: I’m not crazy. These are just sleeping pills.”  

“Don’t make me laugh. Who takes sleeping pills so religiously?”  

Luette snapped at her sharply, venting his misplaced anger. It was exhausting for him, too, to constantly hear people ask about his wife’s condition, whether she was safe at night, or if she had hurt herself. All the things he had suppressed seemed to be exploding tonight.  

“Dr. Brown said you don’t even touch the medications he prescribed. So why do you take sleeping pills so diligently?”  

“Because everything passes while I’m asleep.”  

Solnia’s voice was calm. So calm, in fact, that it felt unsettling.  

“That’s how I endure. There’s no other reason.”  

“……”  

The word “endure” stuck in his mind.  

“Well, then. Watch for yourself, my lord.”  

“……”  

“See for yourself whether I’m mad or not.”  

Solnia demonstratively returned the pill to the bottle and slammed the drawer shut. The loud noise echoed heavily through the bedroom.

The redness in her cheeks had disappeared before she knew it, but the gray hue of her eyes still carried the same meaning as before.  

‘I hate you, Luette Carter Trovill.’  

*

Even with her eyelids closed, she could tell when dawn was approaching. In the pitch-black room, simply lying with her eyes shut made her feel as though she could hear the sound of dew forming on leaves.  

In the end, Solnia greeted the dawn without having slept. Despite how exhausting the day had been, her mind felt as if it were burning hot. She didn’t know if Luette Trovill had fallen asleep. From the moment she lay down, she had turned her back to him.  

All she knew was that long after she had lain down, he had climbed into bed. He didn’t move at all, nor did he comfort her as he had at the villa near the hunting grounds.  

And when dawn came, she felt it with her entire body as he got out of bed. His movements weren’t particularly cautious. He left the bed and exited the bedroom, and only then did Solnia open her eyes and turn to face the ceiling.  

It had truly been an awful night.