Chapter 1 (Part 3)

Startled, she looked at Cardin. Yet, her startled heart didn’t calm down. Cardin looked at her quietly and asked.

“You haven’t, right?”

“Why would I kill someone? I’ve never even thought about it.”

The question was strange. Why would he ask that? Cardin took the blanket she gave him and lay down beside her. She positioned herself at the very edge to avoid touching him. Yet, Cardin’s presence was strongly felt due to his large build. Their arms occasionally brushed.

Feeling a peculiar sensation, she hurriedly turned off the light on the nightstand. The sound of raindrops hitting the tin can and the window was intense. Cardin’s earlier question lingered in her mind.

‘What on earth? Why would he ask that?’

No matter how much she thought about it, she couldn’t understand. Then she heard the sound of Cardin turning toward her.

“Brienne.”

His low voice distinctly resonated in her ears. As she nervously glanced sideways, she met his deep green eyes. The air became so heavy that she could hardly breathe for a moment. His breath slowly brushed against her lips. Her heart pounded. He didn’t say anything more and quietly watched her, seemingly absorbed only in looking at her.

Cardin’s gaze had been stirring her emotions from earlier. Perhaps it was because this was the first time he looked at her so intently. Long-buried feelings inside her seemed to surface eagerly.

She suppressed her emotions by recalling the past. As she tried to turn away, his low voice reached her.

“Thank you.”

Her gaze shifted back to Cardin. He continued to speak while still looking at her.

“It couldn’t have been easy to treat me.”

For a moment, she felt as if her heart was crumbling. Her first love, whom she met after two years, didn’t remember the past she wanted to erase and treated her like a stranger. Seeing him not hating her felt like a dream.

Even so, her words came out firmly. She didn’t want to get hurt anymore.

“Leave as soon as your wounds heal. Preferably before you regain your memory.”

Judging by the missing note from the nightstand, he probably saw it, but Cardin didn’t say anything. Maybe he intended to stay here from the beginning. In any case, since Cardin had lost his memory and was quite injured, she set her own standards and spoke accordingly.

“Before I regain my memory?”

“There’s no need for you to be here once you regain your memory.”

Cardin didn’t respond immediately. As she turned away, his low voice echoed.

“Are you upset with me for some reason?”

“No.”

“Then why do you seem so eager to send me away?”

“…….”

“The note as well.”

His low words left a strange question hanging. She made an effort to explain.

“I’m comfortable living alone. I’ve lived like that until now, so having someone else around….”

At that moment, a bright flash lit up the surroundings, followed by a loud rumble. It was thunder so intense it shook the windows. She involuntarily inhaled and shrank back, moving slightly closer to Cardin’s chest. As she tried to move away belatedly, his calm voice resonated.

“You’re used to living alone, but not to this, it seems.”

His lips curled up charmingly. For a moment, she even felt grateful that Cardin had lost his memory. She had never imagined seeing this side of him now.

He calmly met her eyes.

“Are you always this scared?”

“…No.”

As she said that, she felt as though she was too close to Cardin. Their breaths mingled. It felt as if his breath was entering her mouth directly.

For a moment, her chest swelled as if she were short of breath. His close gaze was intensely warm. In the damp air, his eyes slowly moved down to her lips. Cardin’s gaze lingered on her lips for a moment. As his breath slightly faltered, she moved back.

Embarrassed, her breath came out quickly. Cardin just looked at her without saying anything. Feeling awkward, she took out a fan from the nightstand.

Just as she began to fan herself quickly, his large hand took the fan from her. She had no time to react. As she turned her head sideways, Cardin fanned her face.

“Strangely, when I look at you.”

His low voice spread through her ears, stimulating them. As she remained tense, Cardin’s voice mixed with a light breeze spread.

“I feel like there’s something.”

“…….”

“Were we nothing to each other?”

“Yes.”

Then she hurriedly turned away. Her heart pounded like a drum. Even if Cardin couldn’t remember her precisely, he seemed to subconsciously know about the incident involving her father. 

She bit her lip, suppressing her emotions. It felt like holding a bomb that could explode at any moment.

‘Was saving Cardin the right choice?’

But now she couldn’t just kick Cardin out. He had lost his memory and didn’t know where his home was. Moreover, Cardin had helped her once. Although it was just lending her an ocarina, it meant a lot to her at the time.

‘I should repay him. There’s also the sin my father committed.’

With that thought, she forced herself to organize her thoughts and closed her eyes, ignoring the gentle breeze touching her body.

* * *

Cardin slowly lowered the fan. Brienne’s breath had become calm and regular. As he looked at her face, he remembered her startled expression.

Just like a rabbit.

Such a face for such a question….

‘She said she’s never killed anyone.’

He was lost in thought as he watched Brienne for a long time. Under the moonlight, her face was spotless and clear…. For a moment, Cardin frowned.

‘What am I thinking?’

He immediately turned to lie on his side, but he felt hot. He fanned himself again, but the heat didn’t easily subside. He eventually set the fan aside and closed his eyes. If the heat didn’t go away, he would have to endure it.

* * *

The next day, the rain continued. Unable to gather herbs, she decided to clean, but she saw ants. Cardin tried to help by cleaning around, but when he attempted to cover the ants with his hand, she instinctively grabbed his arm. Cardin paused and looked down at her. His eyes were mixed with curiosity. She quickly released his arm and pushed the ants outside the window.

Without looking at Cardin, she spoke.

“There’s no need to kill them. They might have friends waiting for them.”

He just watched without answering. Feeling embarrassed, she turned and went to the other side. She could feel Cardin’s gaze. Though she should have gotten used to his persistent gaze since yesterday, she never did. She pretended to be busy and cleaned the bed frame.

By evening, she opened the upper cabinet and took out all the ingredients. It was barely enough for two people for one meal. She would have to visit the village soon to buy groceries. She put cabbage, eggs, and sausage in thin bread. Just then, she heard the bathroom door open.

Cardin’s hair was slightly wet. He came over to her, wiping the moisture with a cloth held in his left hand. The forest scent wafted over, making his presence particularly noticeable.

“Is there anything I can help with?”

His low voice brushed against her neck. She forced herself not to think about it and replied.

“It’s almost done.”

As she withdrew her hands from the dish, Cardin took it and brought it to the table. It was so natural that it felt awkward for a moment. It felt like they were living together as a couple. But she quickly forgot the thought and went to the table.

Cardin looked at her.

“Thank you for the meal.”

His lips curled up gently. Cardin, though seemingly indifferent, smiled at her rather often. Whenever he smiled, her heart fluttered as if it were a habit.

‘I don’t want to show that I like him.’

Without answering, she lowered her head and focused on eating the sandwich. She felt Cardin’s gaze but didn’t pay attention. She busied herself with taking a bite, and just then, Cardin placed a glass of water in front of her and spoke.

“Why do you live here alone?”

Her hand paused momentarily. She was afraid to tell the truth. Cardin wouldn’t remember anyway.

“I’m comfortable living alone.”

It wasn’t a complete lie. Living alone was better and more comfortable than living with her father.

“What about your parents?”

“They both passed away.”

Her mother died not long after she was born. Her father took his own life after the incident, leaving her with all his debts. Since then, she had to live hidden in places far from creditors because of her father, but she was repaying the debt. She had to survive, so the amount she repaid wasn’t much. Moreover, the interest kept increasing to an unmanageable level.

“I’m sorry.”

At his low-spreading voice, she quickly lifted her head.

“It’s okay. A lot of time has passed anyway.”

She felt his steady gaze.

“Then you don’t have anyone besides your parents?”

She nodded. Cardin seemed to be pondering something. Curious, she asked.

“Why?”

“It’s nothing.”