Chapter 8 (Part 2)

Unconsciously, her hand reached toward his cheek but stopped midway. Cardin didn’t miss the movement and lowered his head.  

“Touch it. My skin has gotten rougher than before.”  

As if entranced, she lifted her hand and touched his cheek. It felt smooth.  

“Your skin seems fine, though.”  

Cardin chuckled, as if amused.  

“Really? Then, do you want to touch here too? It’s always rough without you.”  

Startled, she jumped back. He had pressed his thigh against hers.  

Cardin simply looked at her with a faint smile, saying nothing.  

“You’re joking, right?”  

For some reason, it didn’t feel like a joke. By now, the smile had disappeared from Cardin’s face.  

“A world without you feels shapeless to me. No matter how much I work or eat, nothing ever feels complete.”  

“……”  

“Just this once, can’t you come with me?”  

His voice, which sounded almost like a plea, trembled uncharacteristically.  

She still hadn’t decided whether to go to Devok or not. Yet, Cardin’s earlier words kept pricking at her heart.  

“I know how hard it was for you because of my mother and the people in the social circles. If we go back, I won’t let them bother you again.”  

“……”  

“Brienne.”  

Even though he was simply calling her name, her heart stirred uncontrollably. Perhaps it was because his voice sounded so sorrowful.  

Her mind grew more tangled. She had been certain that she was only a burden in Cardin’s life, but when he spoke, it felt as though she was essential to him.  

“Am I not a hindrance to your life?”  

“Far from it. Without you, my life might as well not exist.”  

“……”  

“When you left the cabin, all I did was search for you. It’s the same now.”  

She couldn’t bring herself to look at him.  

Now that she thought about it, avoiding and hiding from him didn’t seem like a solution. After all, they always ended up meeting again like this.  

She let out a deep sigh. Her mind was a mess, and she considered the situation around her.  

What if Cardin returned alone? She knew she wouldn’t be able to forget him easily and would miss him constantly.  

And if Cardin occasionally visited her like this, her heart would grow heavy each time, and she wouldn’t know what to say.  

Reluctantly, she opened her mouth.  

“You’re busy enough as it is, and staying here might make Kelle uncomfortable. Batrick might not like it either, so going back to Devok with you might be…”  

At the mention of Batrick, Cardin’s brow furrowed slightly.  

“You’re worried about Batrick?”  

“Well, he’s helped me a lot with my work…”  

“Good thing I came down early. If I hadn’t, you two might’ve grown even closer.”  

Her face stiffened instantly.  

“What are you talking about?”  

“The way Batrick looks at you isn’t ordinary.”  

“Cardin.”  

“If he knows you’re married and still looks at you like that, then he’s the problem.”  

“Batrick hasn’t approached me in that way.”  

“If I’d been even a little late, he would’ve confessed to you for sure.”  

Cardin’s lips curved into a pleasant smile, but his gaze was icy and sharp.  

She chose not to say anything further.  

Then, Cardin gently guided her to sit on a chair.  

“You haven’t eaten much.”  

She didn’t feel like getting up again, so she stayed seated as Cardin poured orange juice for her and added more salad to her plate.  

She silently watched his actions and finished the rest of her food.  

As she set down her fork, she noticed the plate in front of Cardin. He hadn’t touched the ciabatta.  

“Why didn’t you eat the bread?”  

He chuckled softly and replied warmly,  

“I’ll eat it if you feed me.”  

Since Kelle had prepared it, leaving it untouched felt wrong. But she was too full to eat it herself.  

Reluctantly, she tore a piece of bread from Cardin’s plate and handed it to him.  

Cardin, perhaps intentionally, lightly grazed her fingertips with his teeth as he ate the bread.  

When she flinched, Cardin laughed heartily, clearly enjoying himself.  

“It’s delicious.”  

The way he looked at her, his eyes sparkling, made it seem as though he was savoring everything about her. She wiped her hands on a nearby cloth.  

Her face felt inexplicably warm.  

Then, Cardin stood up.  

“Let’s go.”  

“Already?”  

“You said you’d come with me.”  

“I haven’t even told Kelle yet.”  

“Leave her a note. I’ll send someone later.”  

“But I’d prefer to tell her directly.”  

Kelle had treated her so well during her stay and had prepared such a lovely breakfast.  

After thinking for a moment, Cardin said,  

“Then let’s wait a bit before leaving.”  

When she nodded, Cardin began clearing the dishes and placing them in the sink.  

Although she had decided to return to Devok with Cardin, she wasn’t doing so to try to mend their relationship.  

She didn’t want to think that far ahead yet.  

For now, she was only going with him because it seemed like the best way to avoid making things difficult for those around her and for Cardin.  

As she sorted out her thoughts and looked up, she saw Cardin standing at the sink, washing the dishes.  

She quickly approached him.  

“Cardin, why are you…?”  

“I figured you’d do it if I didn’t.”  

“But still…”  

“It’ll be quick.”  

Cardin lightly kissed her cheek. Even so, she couldn’t bring herself to leave his side. It felt like she was burdening him with her responsibilities.  

“I’ll do it.”  

When she moved to stand beside him, Cardin leaned slightly toward her.  

“I did this a lot when we lived in the cabin, so I can handle it.”  

He smiled brightly and continued washing the dishes.  

Now that she thought about it, standing beside Cardin like this reminded her of their time at the cabin.  

Back then, it had been summer. Now, a cool breeze was blowing.  

Outside the window, red autumn leaves were beginning to fall.  

“This reminds me of those days.” 

Cardin said, as if reading her thoughts.  

When she turned her head, she met his handsome gaze.  

“I was happy with you.”

The words, faintly falling, tickled the ears more than usual. For a moment, it felt as if they had returned to that time. They stared at each other for a long while.  

Her heart fluttered. His gaze pierced through her, and his presence felt like it could cross the line at any moment. Cardin seemed the same as before, yet why did her heart ache as if it were burning inside?  

When she took a step back, Cardin lowered his head. As his breath was about to touch her lips, she made up her mind and stepped back further.  

She spoke the words she had organized in her mind beforehand.  

“Cardin, I’m not going with you because I want to try to make things work between us…”  

“I know.”  

“……”  

“But you were worried about me, weren’t you?”  

“It wasn’t worry, more like…”  

“I’d like to think it was interest.”  

His gaze, meeting hers, was unusually tender. He smiled. The atmosphere, which had briefly calmed, brightened as if it were breaking apart.  

***

Fortunately, by the time they were about to leave the house, Kelle returned. Although she accepted Brienne’s departure as natural, she seemed saddened. Perhaps the bond they had built during her short stay had grown deeper than before.  

“Make sure to visit again soon, alright?”  

Brienne smiled and nodded. After exchanging farewells, she looked around, but Batrick was nowhere to be seen.  

Cardin wrapped his arm around her waist and drew close.  

“Let’s go.”  

It felt unsettling not to say goodbye to Batrick, but there was no helping it.  

***

When she awoke, the surroundings were already enveloped by tall buildings and shades of gray. Devok remained the same. The large, imposing buildings stood where they always had, and the bustling people and busy carriages seemed as lively as ever.  

She had thought she would stay in Peroy for at least a year. She hadn’t expected to return so quickly. This made her doubtful about coming back with Cardin.  

Most of all, Foyne’s face still lingered in her mind. Along with it came the reality that her infertility couldn’t contribute to Cardin’s life.  

At that moment, warmth completely enveloped her hand. His long fingers intertwined with hers, one by one.  

“What are you thinking about?”  

Cardin glanced at their clasped hands before lifting his gaze to hers. She couldn’t pull her hand away and simply looked at him.  

From the beginning, Cardin had always seemed endlessly generous and bright. Even his radiant smile resembled sunlight.  

Looking at his face, her dark worries seemed insignificant, as if his world was filled with light and unhesitating reality.  

“Nothing.”  

Then, Cardin lifted their clasped hands and kissed them. The touch was soft and warm. She instinctively flinched.  

Cardin looked at her curiously and slowly lowered their hands. As soon as his grip loosened slightly, she pulled her hand away.  

“I’d like to use a separate room.”  

She was certain Cardin would suggest sharing a room.  

“Why?”  

“I think it’d be more comfortable that way.”  

“I can’t sleep well without you by my side.”  

“Either way, it’s pointless to share a room because of my infertility.”  

Even as she said those words, her face flushed, but she couldn’t help it. To be honest, she wanted to avoid sharing a room with him.  

Even if they parted ways later, she didn’t want to leave any lingering regrets. That was why she insisted on having separate rooms.