“Don’t worry, I’m doing well here in the imperial palace.”

I wrote that single sentence and then pondered for a long while. I felt at a loss, unable to decide what else to write. In the end, I sat there blankly until the ink ran dry on the nib, and only then crumpled up the letter paper. It had already been a week since the Emperor hadn’t even set foot in the Empress’s quarters.

I was in the midst of drafting a reply to a letter from Ian. His letter was more like a report than a personal note. After that one initial meeting, Cade had continually refused Ian at the door.

Ian, in his way, had tried several approaches, but there seemed to be no way to draw the Emperor out from his confinement within the palace. At the end of his letter, he wrote that Cade would have no choice but to attend the next assembly, so they would settle things then.

“It’s just… so far away.”

“Pardon?”

“Nothing.”

I shook my head with a smile at Jane, then picked up a fresh sheet of paper and began to write again.

[I’m doing fine, so please don’t worry.]

I wanted to write something like, “Don’t bother coming” or “I don’t want to see you right now,” but it seemed too cold-hearted to put down. After searching for softer, more refined words, I finally wrote, after much hesitation:

[Let’s meet once things are resolved.]

Ian had come to the Empress’s quarters several times, asking just to see me for a moment. But when I turned him away under the pretense of being asleep, he began leaving letters. The content was extremely businesslike, but it somehow felt even more complex than a love letter full of flowery language. It was plainly evident that he wished not to burden me but also wanted to write as much as he could.

In the end, I put the few words I had written into an envelope.

“If Ian comes, give this to him, and please let him know not to visit anymore, as it’s becoming a little noticeable by His Majesty.”

“You won’t write that directly in the letter?”

“I… can’t.”

Jane hesitated for a moment before speaking.

“My Lady, it doesn’t seem like His Majesty particularly notices…”

“It’s just that I don’t want to see him for now.”

Without another word, Jane took the letter I handed her and stored it away.

Feeling stifled, I left the room to go for a walk. I didn’t blame Ian for what had happened. Not wanting to see him wasn’t out of resentment. I simply lacked the confidence to face him. I didn’t trust myself to act unaffected. Knowing him, he would probably tell me to blame him, and though I knew that wasn’t right, I feared I might end up taking out my frustrations on him.

As I walked down the corridor, I noticed through an open window that Prince Benedict was practicing his walking. Recently, the prince had been focused on taking his first steps on the soft grass. His chubby little body wobbled unsteadily, perhaps weighed down by his baby fat. I overheard Celia worrying that his development seemed slow compared to Prince Arthur’s.

“But he’s just adorable.”

It struck me as a tragic fate, having to constantly be compared from birth. Watching the baby prince from afar, I took a step back, worried that if anyone saw me, they’d think I was envious of the child.

Then, as I continued down the corridor, I unexpectedly encountered someone.

“Greetings, Your Highness.”

It was Prince Arthur. Despite being only ten, the boy carried himself with an air of maturity, bowing to me with a gentleman’s grace.

“Duchess.”

“Her Majesty the Empress is in the garden.”

I expected him to pass by, but the young prince hesitated and asked me,

“Where are you going? May I escort you?”

I paused to consider. Bringing Prince Arthur to the Solar Palace might make it impossible for Cade to avoid me. However, I didn’t want this well-meaning boy to feel guilty for causing trouble for his father. I simply smiled.

“I was just out for a stroll.”

“May I accompany you?”

“…That would be nice.”

Since it felt unkind to reject the courage of such a young boy, and somehow, I sensed he had something he wanted to say to me, I began walking with him, deliberately steering us away from where the Empress and Prince Benedict were.

As we stood in an open space admiring the flowers, I asked,

“Is there something you’d like to say?”

“Oh, how did you know?”

“It shows on your face.”

His surprised, round eyes dropped, looking disappointed. He must already be learning to manage his expressions from his etiquette tutor. After checking to see that the attendants were at a distance, Prince Arthur lowered his voice and spoke carefully.

“I actually have a favor to ask of you, Duchess.”

I felt intrigued. What could be so important to a ten-year-old that he’d ask me with such sincerity?

“It’s really important. You mustn’t tell anyone that I asked you this.”

I nodded. Prince Arthur leaned in and whispered,

“Could you ask Uncle Ian to support my younger brother?”

“…Pardon?”

I was so shocked that my heart started to race again. Prince Arthur blushed suddenly and said,

“I mean, if Uncle could help persuade Father, maybe he’d be a bit less stubborn…”

“Hold on, just a moment. Your Highness, I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that.”

“But you already did.”

“You mustn’t speak about things like this lightly.”

I was about to faint; even the slightest shock seemed to make me feel faint these days. But this extraordinary child only continued to astonish me.

“If you convince Uncle, I’ll make sure you get to meet with my father.”

“…Your Highness, just how much do you know?”

“I know you’re staying in the Empress’s quarters because there’s something you want to say to my father.”

“Do you also know what I intend to say?”

After tilting his head in thought for a moment, Prince Arthur answered.

“That, I’m not sure of.”

Would he even understand the concept of divorce? I sighed as I responded.

“Your Highness, I’m hardly in a position to offer advice, but you should only speak about such matters with those you are very close to and trust completely.”

It would be prudent to keep doubting whether someone was truly trustworthy, but I refrained from saying so, as it felt too heavy-handed for a child of ten. Prince Arthur gazed at me with bright, eager eyes.

“My father said Duke Keppel is a man he can trust.”

“But I am the Duchess, not the Duke.”

And soon, I wouldn’t even be the Duchess. But the prince simply smiled as he replied.

“I heard that Uncle Ian listens well to his wife, since he’s known to be henpecked.”

…People really don’t hold back what they say in front of children, do they? Swallowing a sigh, I spoke.

“Why are you making this request? His Majesty wouldn’t approve.”

“It’s only my father who’s being stubborn. Mother wants things to proceed naturally.”

“Proceed naturally…” Not exactly a phrase I’d expect a ten-year-old to use. Life in the imperial palace seemed to have stripped this child of his innocence.

“If I were to step aside, Father would have no reason to fight, and Mother wouldn’t have to suffer.”

Arthur was a weak spot for Cade. Yet here he was, saying he’d give up the throne for his parents’ sake. Celia’s refusal to eat had likely shaken him deeply as well. Prince Arthur whispered softly.

“…I just don’t want Mother to suffer.”

Watching him with sympathy, I noticed his face was still flushed.

“Your Highness, please excuse me.”

Ignoring decorum, I reached out to feel his forehead.

“It seems you have a slight fever. Are you alright?”

“What? I… I was fine, but suddenly…”

“Perhaps it’s best if you return now.”

Prince Arthur looked startled and grabbed my hand.

“What about my request?”

“I’ll deliver your message. But I can’t be certain how Ian will feel about it.”

“Couldn’t you persuade him?”

“How could a mere woman like me possibly persuade him?”

I meant it as a playful remark, but the prince furrowed his brows and responded.

“Please don’t say that. I learned that, since ancient times, husbands and wives are like one body, and a husband should consider his wife’s opinion as if it were his own.”

This child was sharper than I expected. Sighing, I leaned closer to the prince and whispered.

“Since you put it that way, I’ll be honest with you. I don’t want you to give up the throne, Your Highness.”

“…”

“Why are you surprised?”

Prince Arthur’s face turned beet red, and he was left speechless. Feeling a strange discomfort, I took a step back, and he seemed to relax slightly. When I took another two steps back, he began watching me curiously. Unperturbed, I took a pill from a locket in my ring and swallowed it. Surprisingly, as I did so, the color returned to Arthur’s face as well.

It seemed he could sense magic. Rather than voicing this revelation, I kept my tone light.

“Of course, it’s up to Your Highness to decide your path, but I’d hope you haven’t set your future in stone just yet. You’re still young, and Prince Benedict is even younger. If an elder brother has his fate decided the moment he’s born, he might come to resent it.”

“…I hadn’t thought of that.”

With a look of surprise, Prince Arthur nodded. Suddenly, he bowed his head to me.

“Thank you for your guidance, Duchess.”

I noticed the distant attendants murmuring among themselves at the prince’s excessively polite gesture. Hurrying to conclude the walk, I returned to my quarters. As I changed and prepared for bed, a thought crossed my mind. It would be nice to have a child like Prince Arthur. For the first time, I felt a pang of envy.

Seeing a child who so openly cherished his family made me recall what Joyce had once said. Didn’t she mention that, at least among the Mollys, she had finally found someone who would love her? At the same time, Ian’s voice echoed in my memory.

“I just wanted someone in the family to be happy.”

Wasn’t that really his way of saying he wished there was someone in the family who loved him? If there had been a child between us, perhaps that child might have been able to soothe Ian’s wounds.

Even during those difficult times, Ian had wished for a younger sibling to love freely, rather than someone to bear his burdens. If there had been a child who didn’t doubt his love, who could proclaim their love for him without reservation…

“My lady, are you crying? Are you hurt?”

“I… I’m alright.”

“Shall I fetch the doctor?”

“No, it’s fine. Could I have some time alone?”

Left alone in my room, I reflected. What if that night, when Ian reached out to me… if I had allowed it, would there have been a child between us?

Looking back, there were countless chances. On the night we argued at the hotel, if I had listened to Ian’s words, perhaps something would have changed.

Or if, as Cade suggested, I had cried and vented my resentment instead of avoiding a conversation about divorce… If I had demanded answers rather than shutting down… In hindsight, every moment was filled with regret.

And I could no longer deny it. That in all those moments, I had suffered deeply, and now, here I was, regretting it once again. I still don’t want to call this feeling love; I can’t bear to admit that my love is so petty. And yet, it was love, all the same.