Chapter 27 – You Should Have Said If Her Majesty Wanted to See Me

Since that day, I acted as if I had forgotten everything that happened before I collapsed. As expected, everyone seemed relieved. Pretending to gradually accept reality and adapt to my physical condition was easy because I was actually getting used to this miserable body.

“Liv, are you really okay staying in the capital? I think it would be better for you to leave until the social season is over… Dealing with people will be exhausting.”

“But then I wouldn’t be able to eat the macarons from ‘Afternoon Coffee.’ When else will I get to eat them to my heart’s content?”

I smiled brightly and popped a macaron into my mouth. Everyone pitied my skinny frame, so no one criticized me for eating. Besides, I needed more information. Whether it was awakening or divorce, I couldn’t rely on the help of those around me. I felt like I had to find a reason to stay in the capital.

“Did Ian bring these too?”

“Yes.”

He stuck to me so closely that I told him to go buy them himself, and he actually did. So, I started sending him out every day to buy this and that. Instead of getting annoyed, Ian seemed almost pleased with being my errand boy. I tried my best not to be irritable with him like before, knowing that it would make everyone let their guard down.

“Time to take your medicine.”

I quickly swallowed the pills my mother handed me and immediately put a lemon-flavored candy in my mouth. By dutifully taking my medicine and pretending to sleep all day due to the medication’s effects, I kept everyone worried and by my side.

If they let their guard down, they would start talking about things I didn’t know, and eavesdropping on those conversations while pretending to sleep had become my only hobby. Sure enough, as soon as I pretended to sleep today, my mother began to confide in Jane.

“Who would have thought that a holy wizard would be so hard to find…”

“Still no success?”

“No. Ian says it would be quicker to take a priest and teach them magic, but even priests who can use holy power are scarce. I’m really worried about who will help Oivia when the Crown Princess leaves…”

Oh dear. It seems the queen’s delegation has arrived. Eloise was staying unofficially at the Keppel residence, but she was supposed to stay at the palace once the delegation arrived. After fulfilling her advisory role, she would return to Laran. When that time comes, there will be no one to ask about awakening. I felt anxious.

Benjamin? He would never help; he looks at me with suspicion every time I try to get close to Eloise. He probably mistakes me for the 15-year-old girl he knew before he went abroad.

Or maybe he thinks I’ve become even more fragile. It’s absurd. The reason I closed my eyes while treating Benjamin’s wound wasn’t because I was scared of it, but because he told me not to look. I thought he was being sensitive, so I respected his wish…

I decided I needed to start socializing to gather information and find an excuse to go out. As a first step, I accepted the flood of visitors wishing to see me.

It wasn’t a bad choice. At first, my family was worried, but seeing guests come and go daily, they realized I was welcoming and enjoying the company, not stressed by it. Hearing every visitor say it was a relief to see me looking healthy made them think I was truly getting better.

“Still, let us know if it gets too much.”

Surprisingly, Ian was the hardest to fool.

“I’m really okay.”

“Liv, you always say you’re okay.”

“There’s no reason not to be now. Even Lady Avery apologized and asked to be friends.”

“…Still.”

“Thanks to being known as the Empress’s savior, everyone’s trying to get on my good side now.”

Despite my reassurances, Ian’s worried expression didn’t ease. I accepted his support as I descended the stairs. It was a significant improvement. At least I could walk down on my own now. And no one opposed my outings if I said I was going with Ian. I accepted his escort and boarded the carriage sent by the royal family.

“Do you want to lie down if you’re tired?”

“I’m fine.”

“…”

“Really, I’m fine now. I’ve been exercising diligently for a month. Other than not being able to run, there’s nothing different from before. And I don’t have any reason to run as a noblewoman anyway.”

Though it was exhausting to constantly reassure everyone, it was crucial to convince Ian. Frustratingly, he had more say in decisions about my life than I did simply because he was my husband. Ian, watching me sweat profusely, spoke.

“You look tired.”

“It’s just because it’s hot.”

After getting sick, my body seemed to sweat more easily even in slight heat. I sighed and loosened my bonnet. My damp hair clung to my neck, irritating me. I tried fanning myself, but it became tiring, so I sighed and rested.

“Liv, it’s too hot today. You’re still not in great shape. Should we go back?”

There it is. I knew he’d say that. But if we go back now, I might be stuck at the estate all summer. With Eloise staying at the palace, I can’t hope to bump into her at the estate. I need to get close to her to ask about awakening… I looked at Ian and then lay down.

“Please give it to me.”

Taking the fan from me, Ian started fanning gently. As expected, he didn’t suggest going back again.

“More gently.”

In response to my request, Ian began to fan me carefully. He had probably never been so meticulous about such a trivial task in his entire life. Was this his way of easing his guilt? 

I never imagined a day would come when I could brazenly have him at my beck and call like this. Enjoying the gentle breeze reminiscent of a spring wind, I closed my eyes and ended up truly falling asleep.

I had never even pretended to sleep in front of him before. I must have been genuinely exhausted due to the heat. Waking up to the sense of the carriage coming to a halt, I noticed Ian was still fanning me as I slowly sat up.

While I fixed my hair, which had dried from sweat, put on my bonnet, and straightened my clothes, Ian did not cease fanning. By now, his escort had become natural to me as I disembarked from the carriage. Jane, who was sitting on the coachman’s seat, hurriedly opened a parasol and followed me.

“I’ll carry it.”

I stopped Jane with my hand as she obediently tried to hand the parasol to Ian.

“Jane will carry it. And there’s no need for you to follow us to the Empress’s Palace.”

“Liv, it’s quite a distance from here to the Empress’s Palace. Even if I accompany you, Her Majesty will understand.”

“Are you saying you want to tag along to a ladies’ tea time?”

“But what if you collapse on the way…”

“Do you think there isn’t a single person here who would help me?”

Speaking indifferently, I then pretended to realize something and covered my mouth.

“Oh, if you wanted to see Her Majesty, you should have just said so.”

Ian’s expression hardened. However, I was no longer the person who used to be swayed by his expressions. Ian spoke in a low voice.

“I told you, it’s not like that.”

“Did you?”

I tilted my head shamelessly. Ian, staring at me silently, opened his mouth to say something but ultimately held back. Was he afraid that bringing up that incident might make me collapse again? Ian averted his gaze, looking quite sad.

“I’ll wait here.”

Hmm. I feel like a bad person. But it feels so good. Happily, I headed to the Empress’s Palace with Jane. There was another guest there besides Eloise and me.

“Welcome, Olivia. Was your journey difficult? Oh, this is Raphael, the fifth prince of Laran.”

It seemed Ian wasn’t the only man who wanted to intrude on a women’s tea time. Smiling warmly, I was about to show proper respect to the foreign royalty, but he declined faster.

“Please, don’t. A handshake will suffice.”

He offered his hand first, which wasn’t customary. Maybe things were different in Laran? Without overthinking, I took his hand. He was wearing a sapphire ring that Benjamin had lent to Celia.

“That ring…”

“Oh, this? It’s originally mine.”

Celia smiled awkwardly.

“I didn’t know it was the royal seal’s ring. I’m really sorry. If I’d known it was so important, I would have returned it through the Crown Princess earlier…”

“It’s alright. Given what you’ve been through, your concern is understandable. Even without the ring, I’ve cast a protective spell on Her Majesty, so she won’t be vulnerable to any curses. Although it’s not my main specialty, I’m a competent holy wizard.”

“So, when you two return to Laran, will you be getting married?”

“Probably.”

Amidst the friendly conversation, I tried to piece together the information. So this man is the fifth prince of Laran, has the royal seal’s ring, and will get married when he returns… to Eloise? They’re siblings? I was inwardly shocked but pretended to sip my tea calmly.

“Thank you for coming to help the empire before the royal wedding.”

“We’re also pleased to gain a reliable ally.”

I should have brought Ian along. I thought this was a tea time for women, but it turned out to be a diplomatic gathering. As I remained silent, feeling out of place in the conversation, Eloise spoke to me first.

“You seem much healthier.”

“Ah, thanks to you, Ellie.”

Eloise smiled happily at my use of her nickname.

“Raphael wanted to see you, so I brought him along. If you’re uncomfortable, I’ll send him away.”

“Of course not.”

Considering how the future queen of Laran had spent months healing me personally, it made sense that he’d be curious. Realizing I had troubled someone so important, I bowed again.

“Ellie, you saved my life. I want to repay you. I’ll do anything…”

“Oh, no. Receiving something as precious as your life is enough. Don’t worry.”

“Did Ian give you something?”

“No. Though the Duke of Keppel wanted to offer something, I declined. I decided to accept the favor from Benjamin.”

Even though my uncle had hidden and treated me a few times, it wouldn’t cover the debt of my life. Now, I was indebted to Benjamin. I should have just died. I felt overwhelmed by the unwanted debt.