Chapter 30 – Adriana’s Promise

Not long after Ian left, maids came into my room and searched it. They removed anything that could be used as a blade. Only then did Jane come in, on the verge of tears, and started to stay by my side. They were treating me like a complete lunatic. I didn’t want to talk to Jane either, so I remained silent. Unable to sleep, I just lay there, and after midnight, my mother arrived.

“Liv.”

Only then did I sit up in bed.

“What did Ian say? Mother, let me explain. I was just…”

“You attempted an awakening?”

“…”

“When Benjamin said you might do something like that, I thought he was worrying unnecessarily. But I was wrong.”

I couldn’t help but accept that my mother was angry with me. She loves me, so I had to accept it. Still, it felt a bit sad that no one was on my side.

“Jane, I’m so shaken that I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep tonight, so I’ll stay with her. You go and rest.”

I lay on my side weakly, turning my back to my mother. What should I do now? I felt like no one would listen to me. I had tried the most certain method, but no one seemed to understand.

It seemed everyone wanted me to live with this pathetic body that might die from the slightest stress. Even now, my heart hurt as if it were being squeezed. Why do I have to live like this? For whom? I missed Father. Father would have understood.

“Liv. I know how you feel. I’ve been preparing ever since you said you wanted a divorce. I’ve saved quite a bit of money by taking on the education of wizards who will be receiving titles this time.

It won’t happen overnight, you know that, right? Everyone knows Ian has taken great care of you, so a divorce lawsuit is impossible without grounds. Even for a mutual divorce, you’ll have to convince him. Don’t keep provoking Ian.”

How much of my mother’s words could I trust?

The next morning, my mother-in-law came to visit. I didn’t react much. I was almost resigned.

“Have you eaten?”

“…I’m not hungry.”

“I see.”

She sat next to me and started embroidering. I just lay on the bed. I didn’t care anymore about my mother-in-law or anything else. The more I thought about it, the angrier I got. He refused when I asked for a divorce, yet now he says he won’t let me go. Talking about love and then treating me like a madwoman.

“Liv.”

I pretended to be asleep, lying with my back to her, not wanting to see her face, which looked so much like Ian’s. I just wanted them to leave me alone.

“I never thanked you.”

“…”

“Thank you for saving Ian…”

Why now? What do they all want from me? I was so angry that I was about to snap at her, but her next words left me speechless.

“I heard you said you wanted a divorce.”

“…”

“If you want,” 

She paused and closed her eyes. I could tell she was composing herself.

“If you want, I will support you.”

“…”

“You’ve done enough.”

She had never shown weakness in front of me before. Now, she looked at me with tear-filled blue eyes.

“I thought I could do whatever I wanted with him since I gave birth to him and brought him into this world. So I pushed for your marriage as I wished. But I shouldn’t have done that.”

“Mother…”

“…In fact, Ian was the reason I kept living.”

As soon as she lowered her head, the tears that had filled her blue eyes fell like jewels.

“When you said you were okay, I thought you really were. No, I pretended not to know. I kept telling myself that once Ian came to his senses, you would be happy. I tried to convince myself of that.”

“…”

“It’s all my fault.”

“…”

“I’m really sorry. I thought you could give him the love I couldn’t. That he’d realize it if you, who grew up in a loving family, loved him. I was foolish. It wasn’t something that could be resolved so easily…”

I could only watch as her shoulders started to shake. It was a sad situation. What she had wanted was a daughter-in-law who truly loved her son, but what she got was me, someone who constantly doubted and feared even her parents’ love because of past memories. But what could I do about it now? It was no longer my concern. She spoke cautiously when she saw my face.

“You’ve come to hate him too, haven’t you?”

Well, I never liked him enough to hate him. I thought I knew Ian well. But Ian, who said he never loved Celia, seemed like a stranger to me. Now he just felt unfamiliar and scary. My mother-in-law suddenly stopped crying and continued in a strangely cold voice.

“I felt the same. I hated my husband too. When Ian showed us the blood-stained knife last night, it was as if my dead husband had come back to life. When I first harmed myself, my husband had that exact same expression. I thought it was all over, but how can it repeat like a curse…”

I was taken aback by the story I’d never heard before. It seemed like I had triggered something in Ian yesterday.

“The maids were told to watch over you all night, but Maria and I insisted on doing it ourselves, fearing you’d feel too suffocated. After that, Ian locked himself in the study and then left the house at dawn. When I checked, he had burned all the books related to family law. He’s just like his father in his actions. Is it because that’s all he learned from him?”

“…”

“He won’t want to let you go. No one has loved him like you have. Not knowing how, he will likely try to imitate what his father did. At first, he will try to imprison you. Then, he will try to negotiate. And later, he will blame the Emperor, saying a noble’s divorce requires the Emperor’s consent.”

Her unexpected revelation sent chills down my spine. I never imagined that my deceased father-in-law was like that. All I’d ever heard in social circles were praises for his excellence.

“So you will definitely need my help. The only sure way to get out is to file for divorce. I couldn’t use that method because I had Ian, but you….”

Mother-in-law said resolutely.

“If I testify in court, it should be possible.”

“…”

“I will testify that you two never consummated the marriage. We’ll need a few more witnesses, but I can persuade Jane or Phillip.”

But Mother-in-law, you just said Ian is your reason for living. How can I trust your words?

“So, can you hold on for just one more year?”

Mother-in-law started crying again. Looking at her small, sobbing shoulders, I thought to myself, “Of course, this would happen.”

“I’m not asking you to get along with Ian. Just give him some time to face reality. And I need time too. To prepare to live without you…”

“Mother-in-law.”

“And you need to prepare to live on your own. When you get your medal, ask the bank to set up a secret safe for you. It’s a trick used by women having affairs, but we should learn from it. If you siphon off money from the Keppel family, Ian might find out, so I’ll give you a portion of my business profits. One year should be enough to save up to move somewhere far away.”

A secret safe? I didn’t even know such a thing existed because I was always ostracized among the ladies. I gave her a weak smile for providing useful information.

“You’re the only one thinking of me, Mother-in-law…”

“Will you do it?”

“First, write a witness pledge today.”

“Alright. Liv, please don’t have any more bad thoughts. Let’s just think about living well, okay?”

Yes, I should. As soon as I get the medal, I’ll run away. Everyone seems to be doing fine without me.

***

“Why do I have to move rooms?”

“We need to replace the marble and rehang the door.”

I hadn’t thought that marble could absorb blood. While the floor mess was my fault, the door was Ian’s doing, so why did I feel guilty about it? How much would it all cost?

“Then I’ll move to the guest room.”

Ian smirked as if he found my words amusing, then suddenly his expression hardened.

“Do you want an honest reason, or should I give you a plausible excuse?”

It’s terrifying how he suddenly changes. I couldn’t choose between the two, so Ian smiled and spoke.

“No lady of your stature uses a guest room. Visitors would find it odd. Besides, it’s on a different floor, so it would be a hassle to go back and forth to the reception room every time someone visits. That’s the plausible excuse. My honest feeling is…”

“I’m not interested.”

Ian fell silent when I interrupted him. Instead, he came closer and, without permission, lifted me into his arms.

“What are you doing? Put me down!”

“I’m taking you to your room.”

“Ian. Put me down now.”

“No.”

Ian carried me to his room. When I angrily tried to leave, he blocked the door.

“I won’t touch you. I’ll just watch over you. I’m anxious, Liv… you made me anxious.”

I slapped away his hand as it approached my cheek.

“Ian, I might have triggered your trauma unintentionally, but I was only trying to awaken as a wizard.”

Ian smiled as if my words delighted him, but what he said next was in stark contrast to his expression.

“But if you loved me, you wouldn’t have risked something so dangerous that could have killed you. Right?”

I thought he was completely mad, but it seemed he still had some sense. I bit my lip, unable to find a rebuttal.

“I’m not asking you to love me as you did before. Just don’t make me anxious. I can’t sleep without you now. I used to fall asleep only after confirming you were breathing every night… but now, I need to drink to fall asleep.”

Ian added with a smile.

“It’s better than me being drunk all the time, right? Since you woke up, I’ve been getting drunk every night, and I feel like I’m losing control…”

Is it just my imagination, or does this sound like a threat that he might do something reckless while drunk?