“I may not have graduated from academy in Cadia, but I do know people. There were those I associated with for a short time after returning to the country. Introducing you isn’t difficult, but I don’t have time…”

“……”

“I’ll make the arrangements, but it’s better if you meet with Ian Kepel together.”

I looked at Benjamin, stunned, and spoke.

“With Ian?”

“Yeah.”

“Why?”

“I told you, I don’t have time. If I did, I’d escort you myself, but I’m truly busy to death, so I have no choice.”

I chuckled in disbelief.

“Are you telling me to consult on the divorce with Ian?”

“…You’ve both agreed to the divorce anyway, right? Liv, you’re not unaware of your situation, are you?”

What situation? As I looked at him, confused, Benjamin sighed. He spoke as if frustrated.

“You’re not in a different position from that Ellen person. You’re getting divorced, aren’t you? But you’ve got the highest honors. Even without that, all sorts of scoundrels would be after you.”

I was taken aback because Benjamin pointed out an issue I hadn’t even considered. Honestly, I had never thought of divorce as re-entering the marriage market. After all, I wasn’t expecting to live long, nor could I have children. But unless we publicly announced the reason for our divorce, no one would know that.

“At the very least, meet with Ian Kepel, or wait and meet with me.”

I sighed. I finally understood Benjamin’s reaction. After the divorce, as my cousin, he would become my legal guardian.

Of course, my uncle would be included too. I had been so preoccupied with concerns about my post-divorce life that I hadn’t thought about this aspect.

Now that I had the label of a divorcee, I might be troubled by all sorts of people. And here I was, worrying about Ellen’s situation—how absurd. Even I couldn’t help but laugh at myself.

“Ian seems busy too…”

“But he’ll make time if you ask him, won’t he?”

“I just feel bad about it. If he stayed out like before, I wouldn’t even know if he was busy or not, but now he’s overexerting himself to have dinner with me every day, only to work late into the night.”

He even seemed to be working in the carriage on his way to and from work. Once, I suggested he stay and sleep at the Prime Minister’s residence instead of exhausting himself commuting, but then I saw those tearful eyes again. I was so afraid he’d cry that I told him to do whatever he wanted before he could even respond… Lost in thought, I noticed Benjamin’s disapproving gaze and felt embarrassed.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

“You’re getting divorced, but your relationship seems to be improving? You’re even worried about him?”

“…I guess because I no longer need to hate him?”

Benjamin stared at me silently and then spoke.

“Do you trust that guy?”

“…?”

“You know, divorce isn’t child’s play, and it doesn’t happen overnight. If that guy changes his mind in the middle of it, everything could fall apart.”

That’s true. Thanks to Benjamin, I realized that I had come to trust Ian’s promises. In a way, expecting and trusting something from Ian was almost a first in our marriage.

“If you ever need to run away again, let me know next time. I gave you a necklace, didn’t I? You still have it, right?”

“Oh, that… it’s at home.”

“Do you even know what that thing is?”

“Ellie said if I break it, you’ll appear and help me.”

“You know it well. So why haven’t you used it once?”

I smiled sheepishly.

“There hasn’t been a particularly urgent situation? I’ve been saving it…”

Benjamin looked exasperated and downed his cold tea in one shot. Then he burst out.

“What’s wrong with you? You should’ve told me instead. If you’d asked for my help before running away, you wouldn’t have had to go through all that trouble. Do you know how worried Aunt was?”

“……”

“Have you ever thought about how worried the people left behind were? How worried we were, how worried I was…?”

Benjamin couldn’t bring himself to continue speaking. Seeing the clouded look in his eyes gave me a strange feeling. I should feel sorry, but I didn’t feel sorry at all. I looked at him with a sullen expression and then said bluntly.

“Have you ever thought about it?”

“What?”

“Have you ever thought about how I felt back then, why I ran away without saying anything?”

“Of course, it was because of that bastard…”

“Because of Ian?”

Benjamin fell silent. And I stayed quiet too. After a long pause, he spoke in a trembling voice.

“You didn’t tell me on purpose?”

I gave a bitter smile.

“I’m not blaming you. It’s just that I was in a situation where I had no other choice.”

Benjamin still looked shocked and said nothing. I took a sip of the now-cold tea and spoke.

“You may not understand, but to me, there’s no difference between Ian and you.”

Benjamin flinched. Ignoring him, I continued to explain.

“The easiest thing for me would have been to do nothing and maintain my marriage, rather than run away with your help. After all, Ian is so worried I might collapse again, or even die, that he doesn’t dare treat me badly. If I have to rely on someone, it’s natural that he’d want me to rely on him.”

“I also…”

“Yeah, you too.”

I didn’t give Benjamin a chance to speak.

“So to me, you’re the same. Even if my body is comfortable, it wouldn’t be a peaceful life. After my father passed away, I was really anxious. After I married Ian, I even started having dreams about him dying. I guess I was scared that if he died, I’d be out on the streets again.”

“Why would you worry about that? I’m here…”

“But you weren’t there when father died. Ben, don’t you see? I don’t want to live depending on something uncertain anymore. It’s too unsettling to rely on someone’s affection when I can’t offer anything in return. How can I be at ease when I’m constantly worried that the person might die or get tired of me? In the end, the only person I can truly rely on is myself.”

Benjamin looked at me with wavering eyes. I smiled faintly.

“You know, Benjamin, for the first time in the past six months, I felt like I was truly living. I thought I wouldn’t have any regrets if I died tomorrow, but I was wrong. I have to prepare for tomorrow with my own hands, and I don’t mind that.”

“……”

“It was the first time in my life that I felt like I was standing on my own two feet.”

Benjamin rubbed his face with his hands repeatedly, then let out a long sigh. He spoke in a quiet, low voice.

“I used to think that I could do anything if it meant you could live just one day longer. I don’t like Ian Keppel, but he has a lot. I imagined us setting up a villa in a quiet, peaceful place where you could only see the people you liked and do only the things you enjoyed. I believed that was how you could live one day longer. But that’s not… that’s not what you wanted, is it?”

“Right.”

“The divorce will cause a lot of noise again. People will start writing novels about you two, and society will be abuzz. Are you okay with that?”

“Yes.”

“And even if life after the divorce is noisier and more uncomfortable than you expect, are you still okay with it?”

“I lived in a boarding house without a bathroom; could it be worse than that?”

I tried to lighten the mood with that comment, but Benjamin took it seriously. When he started scolding me about how I had lived, I slipped away. As soon as I stepped outside, Benjamin’s secretary, who had been waiting, pulled him into the office.

‘Phew.’

**

“Together?”

I know how absurd this suggestion is. But surprisingly, Ian…

“Really?”

He seems happy. As if I’d just asked him out on a date when I suggested we get divorce counseling together. I was deep in thought, trying to figure out what to do with this man in front of me, who seemed thrilled at the idea. But I wasn’t sure. Is this something that can be solved just by thinking about it?

“When would be a good time? You’re busy, so I’ll adjust to your schedule.”

“Wait a minute, Phillip, when can I free up some time this week?”

“You have no free time this week.”

“Okay, but when can I free up some time?”

Phillip looked at me with sad eyes. It was a look that made even the worst people reconsider if they had done something so wrong.

“Next week is fine, Ian. You don’t have to push yourself.”

“It’s okay, Liv. My schedule is packed next week anyway. It doesn’t matter if I cancel this week or next week.”

“That doesn’t make any sense!”

Phillip started to say something but then gritted his teeth. Rubbing the back of his neck as if it were stiff, he took a deep breath and spoke.

“There isn’t a single appointment this month that can be canceled without consequence. And that’s only if you work non-stop without a break. This tight schedule is because you’ve insisted on finishing by evening every day. Thanks to that, I haven’t been home in days. My wife is pregnant, and I can’t even bring her what she craves! At this rate, I’ll be divorced before you two are!”

As Phillip continued to speak, his frustration seemed to build, and soon his eyes were welling up with tears. Listening to his story, I realized it was truly heartbreaking. Even though it wasn’t my fault, I felt an overwhelming sense of guilt. Ian, with a cold voice, interrupted.

“It’s not like you can handle the work just because I cancel my schedule. When I go home, you should too.”

“If I had a mansion in front of the royal palace like you, I would! But my house is far from here! And who do you think organizes the documents you sign off on in the morning? It’s me, working all night at the residence!”

“Does it really take all night to do that?”

Phillip’s silent scream was palpable. I was also shocked and glared at Ian. How could someone be so insufferable? Seeing my expression, Ian hesitated and mumbled.

“I mean, it should only take a couple of hours… but when you said you stayed up all night…”

When I widened my eyes at him, Ian, looking like a scolded child, muttered gloomily.

“…I’m sorry.”

I sighed and approached Phillip, who had collapsed into a chair with a defeated expression. I patted his slumped shoulders and said,

“You’ve been through a lot, Phillip. Congratulations on becoming a father, even if I’m a bit late. Is there anything you need? I’d love to give you a gift to celebrate. And if there’s anything I can do to help…”

“Really?”

“What?”

“Would you really help me?”

Seeing the desperate look in Phillip’s eyes, I nodded, feeling a bit taken aback.

TL NOTE: Visit dusk blossoms for more advanced chapters and stories