Chapter 16

“…I wouldn’t let that happen.”

“If I beg you, Your Grace, even if I get on my knees like this, will you marry me?”

“Ella!”

“I know… that you were supposed to be engaged to Lady Silvesta. How could you marry me then…?”

As Elina tried to kneel on the cold floor, Floyd was startled and held her back.

Her arms were so frail, as if they might break if touched wrong. Floyd carefully led her back to the bed and parted his lips.

“I know it’s hard to believe. But I mean it. Not as a mistress, but a proper marriage.”

“Can you promise a lifetime to a woman you spent just one night with, Your Grace?”

“I can promise.”

“Really…?”

Could I truly believe his words? Ignoring all the laws, customs, and traditions that bound him for a lifetime…?

At that moment, the sweet scent of strawberry tart filled the room. It was rich, perhaps due to the expensive sugar and butter used.

When the maid entered with the tart, Floyd exchanged a few words with her before she quickly left.

“Eat first. You said you hadn’t eaten anything today.”

Floyd cut a piece of the tart with a fork and handed it to Elina, who couldn’t refuse and put it in her mouth.

The strawberry tart was delicious. Made by the Grand Ducal residence’s patissier, it couldn’t possibly taste bad.

Elina closed her eyes briefly and then opened them wide.

But all her thoughts flowed to extremes and negativity. The fact that royal marriages weren’t just about the consent of those involved lingered in her mind.

She already knew there were marriage customs among high-ranking nobles. Madame Rasiche, as her legal guardian, had taught her noble etiquette and bridal lessons.

Even if those were memories from years ago, she knew one thing: no good outcome awaited her current escapade.

Her stomach felt uneasy. She wanted to pretend she knew nothing, to rely on Floyd’s sincerity and trust him, but that alone couldn’t make everything go well.

“Water… please give me some water. Sob.”

“Are you okay? You don’t have to force yourself to eat… don’t cry.”

She poured cold water into her mouth and vomited what she had eaten. She couldn’t swallow something so sweet and delicious.

Her throat hurt, and her voice wouldn’t come out properly. The way she was acting towards Floyd now was because he kept being kind to her, comforting her even when she cried and whined, leading to a naïve belief that he’d continue to be kind.

“The child inside… it’s your child, Your Grace. You shouldn’t doubt that. Understand…?”

“I’ve never doubted it. And I wouldn’t care so much about something uncertain….”

“But….”

“Stop overthinking. There’s nothing more to make you unhappy.”

“But there’s no way I could dare marry someone from the Imperial Family just based on your judgment, Your Grace….”

“I know you’re very anxious. But I won’t take you as a mistress, so don’t worry.”

“What do you know! You’re part of the Imperial Family. You don’t have to cling like I do, so you can say that.”

As Elina’s voice rose, there was a knock at the bedroom door.

When Floyd briefly said to come in, the maid he had sent out earlier appeared with Elina’s personal physician.

“Hello, Miss Elina. How are you feeling today?”

“…Not very well, Bianca.”

“Strawberry tart… I guess you didn’t like it. Is there anything else you’d like to eat? Ta-da. I brought orange juice too…!”

Elina shifted her gaze from Floyd’s eyes to Bianca. Though she had seen her continuously in recent days, she still couldn’t adjust to her.

Was she treating me like a child, or comforting me? 

She couldn’t tell.

“I’ll have the orange juice.”

“How about a salad with a refreshing dressing? With lightly grilled bacon on top. Or maybe some tender chicken?”

“Do as you please….”

Looking at the clock, it was lunchtime. Bianca offered Floyd lunch as well and placed the salad she had brought on the bedside table.

And she subtly pushed a bread roll she hadn’t mentioned. She’d find reasons to make her eat it too.

“But I don’t plan to eat the bread… If you keep bringing it, I won’t eat it.”

“Just have one. I’ll eat the rest. You didn’t have breakfast either.”

“Just half. It’s freshly baked and really delicious.”

As she pushed the warm bread away and stared at it reluctantly, Floyd picked it up and took a bite.

Bianca just smiled faintly beside him. She not only provided medical care but also made sure Elina ate.

There were people as kind as this….

“I want to run away….”

“Sorry? What did you say?”

“Nothing… I said I’d eat the bread.”

* * *

Every time she saw Floyd’s face, her stomach churned.

She had felt this way before, but since yesterday, it had intensified, and she ended up telling him through tears. That it was too hard to see him.

Just seeing his face reminded her of the words of those who criticized them, and she hated the stares of people standing in the hallway outside the door whenever he came to the bedroom.

And she still couldn’t accept that the child inside her was really his, someone of the Imperial Family.

Floyd seemed quite hurt by her words.

But honestly, she feared he might be thinking, ‘Even after being so kind, does she still push me away?’

She still resented him, but she didn’t want him to abandon her.

Especially since he was someone who was going through so much trouble for her. He always came to the bedroom for meals and visited whenever he had time.

He didn’t ignore the child inside her, and he was more responsible than she was, who only cried and said she wanted to protect it. He truly didn’t intend to take her as a mistress.

“Miss Elina, are you okay? Would you like this?”

“Yes….”

“Though it’s fortunate you’ve been eating a little more… please think only good thoughts, Miss. Please….”

“I want to, Bianca… but what can I do when all I have are bad thoughts.”

What Bianca gave her was a lemon candy that looked like a shiny bead. 

Was it to prevent the iron supplement I took after my meal from tasting bitter?

But enduring the current situation, an iron pill wouldn’t be bitter.

If… if everything happening now became nothing, could I do anything?

But even if I hadn’t met Floyd, my life would have been equally unhappy. I had lived a life deceived by Madame Rasiche since childhood, and later lived under her abuse.

Would I have had an arranged marriage with an unwanted man next? Even if she was lucky and inherited her parents’ wealth and family a year after becoming an adult.

Could I truly be happy? Could I?

Maybe she was more unfortunate now. But her life was never smooth before. Elina put the lemon candy in her mouth, rolling it around, and leaned her head against the bed’s headboard.

“Since His Grace isn’t here… I miss him, shamelessly.”

“I’ll call him right away. If it’s your wish, he’ll come running!”

“That’s not it… If I see him again, I think I’ll feel unwell again….”

Oddly enough, she could eat relatively well if she didn’t see him. Though Bianca insisted she eat a little more….

Was it because seeing him made her feel guilty? She felt sorry for constantly calling him over.

A high noble’s marriage wouldn’t happen overnight, so even if they did marry, he’d have to endure a lot in between.

From what he unconsciously mentioned during meals, he was trying to persuade his retainers, but it didn’t seem smooth.

Moreover, it seemed he wasn’t in his position as Grand Duke just because he was the only son of the previous Grand Duke Rennes.

On the day they first met, though they didn’t know each other’s status, they shared their family stories.

Including how he wasn’t on good terms with his father, the previous Grand Duke.

She wanted to hear the exact circumstances, but he trailed off and didn’t give a proper answer.

Dealing with retainers opposing the marriage and handling her, who cried and said she hated him so much every time he visited, seemed emotionally taxing.

“You said you’d protect the child inside. Then think only about the child for now. Babies are stronger than you think… but if you collapse, there’s nothing we can do.”

“I think I’m already thinking only about the child… to the point that… I even sent His Grace outside for the child’s sake.”

“Well… I think His Grace is thinking a lot too. Though he doesn’t seem to be in a good state either. Still, no one will hate you for blaming His Grace.”

“Everyone already hates me, so it’s only natural… it’s not even to the extent of hating.”

Even to the only person who spoke kind words for her, she could only respond with sarcasm. She desperately wanted to pull herself together but didn’t know how.

The words the maids whispered kept circling in her mind, and she was stuck in the mire created for her, unable to pull herself out.

“His Grace is trying, and rumors eventually fade over time. And there are too many baseless malicious words… just a little longer….”

“For me, that time passes too slowly… no matter what rumors are out there, His Grace is blocking them now… but the words I’ve already heard and the ones I’ll hear later are terrifying.”