Chapter 24

The clothing store owner was as warm-hearted as the grandmother on the first floor.

Although Elina was tempted by the baby clothes displayed outside the store, she only bought one indoor dress and two outing dresses for herself

The store owner said custom-made dresses were possible, but Elina didn’t want to spend more money and time on them.

When she decided to buy ready-made dresses that seemed to fit best, the store owner insisted on taking her measurements with a tape measure for accuracy.

“If you don’t mind… are you perhaps pregnant?”

The store owner, as if having a realization, looked through the store ledger and asked. 

How did she know?

Even though she was pregnant, it was still early, and it wasn’t noticeable from the outside. As Elina blinked without a proper answer, the owner explained her reasoning.

“It’s just that you kept covering your stomach. I thought it might be helpful to know when recommending dresses….”

After hearing the store owner’s words, Elina reluctantly revealed her pregnancy, and she was then recommended many beautiful and comfortable dresses.

Ultimately, she chose dresses in soft pastel tones, which she usually liked. They were similar in style to the pale yellow dress she was wearing.

Though she only purchased three dresses, the store owner offered to deliver them to her home if she provided the address and also included a warm shawl suitable for autumn.

“Next time, come with the baby’s father. The baby clothes here are really pretty too.”

The store owner’s words, which were surely without malice, dampened her spirits slightly when mentioning the baby’s father. Unable to leave without responding, she hesitated before saying:

“I’ll come when the baby is much older. Or maybe before that.”

It wasn’t entirely a lie. She had told Floyd to come see the baby a few times when it grew. She somehow believed he would surely visit.

She didn’t want to speak ill of Floyd, knowing the baby would listen.

As the warm midday sun passed, the outside became quite chilly.

After putting on the shawl the store owner had provided, Elina decided to eat a little more of the fruit skewers she had for lunch before heading back.

***

Anyway, all that was in the basket were two onions, a bunch of vegetables, and a little flour.

She wondered if the grandmother on the first floor had left a large basket of leftover food at the front door again today.

With such concerns, Elina finished three fruit skewers on the spot.

The fruit skewer vendor, pulling a large cart, roamed around the commercial district, and Elina found herself at the far end of the district, opposite her home.

She thought about just going home after buying clothes, but she couldn’t help thinking about the fruit skewers. It was such a delicious snack she hadn’t had in a while, and she felt she would regret not eating more.

However, being so far from home, she would need to find a carriage to return. As she looked around for a carriage rental, a familiar building caught her eye.

It was the building where she first met Floyd. A social venue where nobles met without revealing their status.

The difference from two months ago was that the building’s door was firmly closed. Perhaps the owner decided not to operate it anymore.

Sitting on a bench scattered throughout the street, Elina finished her fifth fruit skewer of the day, claiming it was the last.

Seeing the building reminded her of the day she handed over all her money to get in, even though the owner wasn’t taking more guests.

It was the first time she defied Lady Rasiche’s words and her parents’ will to do something, but meeting Floyd…

Though she wanted more, it was too much to eat another sugar-coated fruit skewer. Discarding the empty skewer, Elina stood up.

Where could there be a carriage rental nearby?

Unlike the commercial district near her home, this area was densely packed with social venues, filled with people.

As evening approached, it was a good time for a light drink. Some might spend the night like she and Floyd once did….

Just as she thought she might lose her way in the crowd, she noticed someone standing on the second-floor terrace of the building, which had its doors firmly closed.

Curious about who was inside a non-operating building, she looked closely. Although many people were on the street, it seemed only Elina noticed the person.

“Isn’t that Floyd? Floyd…?”

Realizing she had said his name aloud, Elina quickly covered her mouth in surprise. Who would dare casually speak the name of the Empire’s only Grand Duke?

Fortunately, the people passing by paid no attention to her small voice, and it was too far away to reach Floyd.

Standing alone in the bustling street, Elina saw Floyd leaning on the terrace railing, holding a wine glass.

In the past, she wouldn’t have recognized him, but Floyd had a unique aura. Even from afar or at night, he was a remarkably beautiful person.

However, seeing him didn’t mean she could approach and acknowledge him, so Elina just watched him for a long time.

Was he there thinking of me? Or was he meeting someone else for a drink, like when we they first met…?

But no matter how she thought about it, it was just self-consciousness and useless thoughts. Floyd had kept his promise to let her go, and she had decided to forget him.

Just as she was about to find a carriage to return home, Floyd’s gaze moved toward where Elina was standing.

It must be a mistake. Even if it wasn’t, it wouldn’t matter, she thought, as she walked toward where she assumed a carriage rental would be.

When she turned to look at the building where Floyd had been, he was no longer visible. 

Was he keeping his promise to let me go?

Elina calmed her trembling heart and finally found a carriage rental. She caught her breath as soon as she arrived. There was no need to run, but at some point, she had been running.

Perhaps noticing her urgency, a coachman quickly emerged from the rental to hear her destination and estimate the fare.

But it seemed Floyd couldn’t let her go after all.

Just as she was about to board the carriage, a knight, clearly from the Rennes Grand Ducal family, ran up and bowed, though no one had asked him to.

Should I feel relieved that Floyd didn’t come personally? 

The coachman looked puzzled, seeing a customer who had run to the rental and a knight who appeared suddenly.

Still, Elina didn’t explain to the coachman. She would leave soon anyway.

“The Young Master just wanted to ask if you’re doing well. That’s all.”

Floyd sent a more perplexing question than expected. 

Asking if I was doing well… what kind of question was that?

She felt a bit sorry for the knight, who was just following orders, but she couldn’t give a positive answer to that question. Honestly, she wasn’t doing well.

And she was curious why he was asking such things. 

Was it to tell me to return to the Grand Ducal residence at any time? That he could officially marry me despite the retainers’ opposition?

She had barely erased him from her mind, and now this. Her thoughts were once again filled with him.

“Well… I’m not doing well. But it’s better than staying at the Grand—no, the Young Master’s house.”

She changed his title so the coachman wouldn’t hear. Not Floyd, not His Grace, but Young Master. It really felt like he was someone unrelated to her.

Leaving a message for the knight to return safely, Elina told the coachman to start the carriage.

On the way back, all she could think about was Floyd. 

Was he doing well at the Grand Ducal residence? 

Seeing him today, it didn’t seem like it, and it worried her.

She said she would forget him, but she never wished for him to be unhappy. Part of why she gave up enduring at the Grand Ducal residence was because she couldn’t bear to see him struggle more.

Her heart ached so much that she cried. At the same time, she felt she couldn’t return to him, and it was truly unbearable.

“Oh… hic, hic.”

“Miss, are you alright…?”

The coachman, who was driving the hired carriage, seemed surprised to see the customer who had just left a cold refusal now crying like a child.

It seemed the words she had spoken earlier weren’t sincere. The coachman handed her a handkerchief, hoping the young lady wouldn’t be more heartbroken.

Elina clutched her trembling chest and cried loudly inside the rattling carriage. It was still hard to see him. But she also wanted to see him.

What should I do with myself? 

She liked him so much… but she felt that expressing those feelings would make both of them suffer.

The only person who ever loved her. The only person in the world who was kind to her, she felt she couldn’t help but like him, even if she tried not to.

“What should I do… I want to be by Floyd’s side.”

This was why she couldn’t visit even though she had his address. She felt she wouldn’t be able to handle the emotions that had grown too big.

But she also didn’t have the courage to express them freely.

So she endlessly repeated words that could never come true, in a place where he wasn’t.