Chapter 6 (Part 5)

“Ahhh! Ahhh!”  

n*ked, Cecilia cried out as she was trapped beneath his firm body. Being pinned under such a virile man was no easy task.  

As Ian thrust into her vigorously, he continued to utter words of resentment.  

“If it weren’t for you…”  

Before he could finish his sentence, Ian buried his face in Cecilia’s chest. Cecilia gently stroked his sweat-drenched hair.  

As always, his words and actions were full of contradictions. Though his guilt consumed him, reddening his eyes, he showed no intention of stopping his rough movements.  

And seeing him like this only drove Cecilia crazier. He seemed like a divine creation designed by God to captivate women.  

“Ahhh!”  

Each time his p*nis plunged deep inside her, Cecilia alternated between stroking and clutching his hair.  

The air in the room grew thick. Their breaths became labored. The obscene sounds of their bodies colliding and their moans filled the room.  

Ian looked down at the woman panting beneath him. Her slender limbs, her heaving chest rising and falling with each breath—she was beautiful.  

The sight of her wet inner walls and the moans spilling from her lips seemed unbearably seductive.  

What the hell am I doing!  

Realizing he was momentarily entranced by a woman he was supposed to seek help from, Ian’s mind became a chaotic mix of self-loathing and desire.  

Even amidst his confusion, his body moved instinctively. Though guilt weighed heavily on him, Ian thrust into her with all his strength.  

“Ahhh! Ahhh!”  

Cecilia’s moans stimulated his senses, and the dazed look in her eyes only fueled his lust. How could he stop now?  

If he could continue feeling this pleasure, he thought he’d be willing to give up everything—even his body. He knew it was an insane thought.  

But consumed by an uncontrollable desire, Ian wanted to surrender to his instincts, at least for this moment.  

However, they didn’t have much time. They had to finish before the devotees woke up, so, driven by urgency, Ian pushed Cecilia harder.  

***

The first time is always the hardest. 

After that, Cecilia and Ian frequently shared their bodies. It felt as though they were releasing everything they had suppressed for so long.  

But the longer this went on, the more Ian’s anguish grew.  

He began to fear himself, overwhelmed by his uncontrollable desire.  

On the days he met Cecilia, he would use a particularly fragrant soap to cleanse himself and put extra care into grooming his hair. None of this was intentional—it was all unconscious.  

This must be the devil’s temptation!  

Though he could still restrain himself to some extent, Ian believed that this filthy desire would eventually consume him.  

It seemed better to stop here before the desire grew uncontrollable.  

Even if his insomnia returned after cutting ties with Cecilia, that would be something he would have to bear.  

The problem started with the lie that his insomnia hadn’t been cured.  

From that moment, it was clear that Ian had already been captivated by fleeting pleasure. As a result, he had failed to restrain himself and had become a slave to physical pleasure.  

No, this can’t go on.  

Ian wanted to deny the changes happening within him. He convinced himself that his wavering emotions were only temporary. He was sure that he had lost his mind for a moment because of sensations he had never felt before.  

And it was all because of Lady Bucklew. Whenever she was near, he couldn’t help but harbor impure thoughts.  

She was like a tiny droplet of water. A droplet so small it shouldn’t matter, yet when it fell on the calm surface of a lake, it created ripples he couldn’t predict.  

He believed that with time, his heart would return to being a tranquil and peaceful lake. He told himself he couldn’t allow himself to be swayed by Lady Bucklew any longer.  

To regain himself, he needed to sever ties with her completely, no matter how cruel it seemed.  

“Thank you for everything. I won’t call for you again.”  

On the day he made up his mind, Ian met Cecilia in the resting room. Before she could even touch him, he delivered his rejection.  

“Has your insomnia really been cured?”  

“Yes…”  

“That’s a relief. You should have told me sooner. Then I wouldn’t have come today.”  

Cecilia’s expression turned bitter, but Ian deliberately avoided looking at her face. If he met her gaze, he feared he would say the opposite of what he had planned, so he tried to maintain a cold demeanor.  

“I didn’t have a way to contact you, so I couldn’t let you know.”  

“You managed to contact me just fine through the young acolytes before.”  

Cecilia looked at him with eyes full of resentment, but Ian continued to avoid her gaze.  

So now he’s discarding me because he doesn’t need me anymore.  

Cecilia realized that Ian had been using her until his insomnia was cured, only to discard her afterward. Their ending had been inevitable from the start.  

A priest and a devotee engaging in such acts… How could it possibly end well? That was why she had tried to avoid getting involved with him in the first place, but she had been drawn in by Ian, leading to her current state.  

Of course, Cecilia herself had also thought that her relationship with Ian was nearing its end. While the pleasure had been good, she had started to feel a growing sense of emptiness after each encounter.  

She knew why she felt that way. Their union lacked Ian’s genuine feelings.  

Cecilia also believed it was right to end her relationship with Priest Ian before her feelings grew any deeper. If her emotions deepened further, it would only make it harder to let go.  

Even though she fully understood that, Cecilia couldn’t help but feel her heart grow heavy. Perhaps it was because she hadn’t expected him to cut things off so coldly.  

“Will you have no regrets?”  

“There will be no regrets.”  

“You’ll never call for me again?”  

“I won’t.”  

Not wanting to accept this sudden farewell, Cecilia asked him one last time, hoping this wouldn’t be the end. But his demeanor was firm and cold.  

“In that case, we’ll never have another conversation again.”  

“We may exchange greetings if we run into each other. If you ever have something to say to me, feel free to visit the confessional as always.”  

“Understood.”  

What a cruel man… If this was how it was going to end, he should have let me go home earlier.  

She hadn’t expected a romantic farewell. She had only hoped that, at the very least, he would thank her for everything and express some gratitude. But there was none of that…  

Cecilia felt anger welling up at Ian’s cold attitude, but she suppressed it.  

When she thought about it differently, this kind of farewell wasn’t so bad. For a love that could never come to fruition, being cruelly rejected might make it easier to move on.  

Maybe this was for the best. Ending it here was the right thing to do. In fact, this was a relationship that should have ended long ago, but I just dragged it out.  

Making excuses to herself, Cecilia left the resting room without even saying a final goodbye.  

* * *  

The next day, Cecilia began preparing to return home early in the morning. She had decided to end her tumultuous time at the temple once and for all.  

Although she had told Priest Ian yesterday that she would stay at the temple a little longer, she no longer had the will or reason to remain.  

Soon, the 50 days would be over, and leaving a day or two early wouldn’t cause any issues. She could just tell her father that the event had ended sooner than expected.  

The only problem was that she didn’t have the money to hire a carriage to take her home.  

Should I swallow my pride and ask to borrow some money?  

There were two other ladies besides Cecilia who were freely participating in the 50-day prayer. She could ask them to lend her some money.  

She would be able to repay them as soon as she returned home, so it wouldn’t be an issue. However, it was a blow to her pride, and the thought of asking for money made it difficult for her to bring it up.  

What should I do?  

Should I borrow money from the ladies and return home immediately, or should I stay here for another day or two while looking for a coachman who would accept deferred payment?  

As she pondered this while heading toward the chapel, someone called out to her.  

“Cecilia…?”  

The voice was filled with curiosity as it addressed her, and Cecilia found it strange. There shouldn’t be anyone here who would call her like that.  

She turned her head toward the source of the voice with a puzzled expression and saw a middle-aged man.  

“Oh, it really is you, Cecilia! My goodness, praise be to God. God has guided you to me. I came here to pray and ask Him to let me meet you since Viscount Bucklew kept blocking me, and now, here you are!”  

The man approached Cecilia with an emotional expression. He was a stranger to her, so she widened her eyes and took a step back.  

“There’s no need to be alarmed. Or… is this surprising?”  

The man laughed heartily and held up both hands in a gesture of harmlessness. Only then did Cecilia stop retreating and cautiously ask,  

“Do you know me?”  

“I am a Beaut, the Earl of Beaut, your mother’s brother. In other words, I’m your uncle. Meeting you like this at the Atheon Temple feels like divine intervention.”