“Alois is really amazing.”

Her muttered soliloquy was mixed with subtle sarcasm. But even after spitefully uttering these words, Olivia sobbed, hurt by her own words.

Annoyingly, she wasn’t drunk.

She wanted to get drunk like other people, throw away all reason, vent her anger at anyone, resent, curse, but no matter how many times she reconsidered, all the blame ultimately lay with herself. Even cursing Alois only proved her own wretchedness, so in the end, only her guilt toward him continued to pile up.

Staggering as she rose from her seat, Olivia slowly left the room. Her thin nightgown wasn’t properly closed, giving her a shabby appearance as if hastily thrown on, but she didn’t have the energy to care about this. Holding the half-filled wine glass, Olivia now stopped in front of Alois’s bedroom and fumbled around her neck area before grinning and grabbing the doorknob.

“Right. I don’t need the key anymore.”

Passing through the smoothly opening door, Olivia headed inside. Amusingly, Alois’s room was as familiar to her as her own after spending several days rolling around here. Taking another sip of alcohol as she approached the bed, Alois, who had been reading a book by the soft light, turned his gaze.

“What brings you here at this late hour?”

“Just…… I thought coming here might make me think of other things……”

She needed memories other than those of humans being bitten, cut by swords, blood gushing, and the little ones calling her name. It seemed to be somewhat effective.

Sitting on the bed, she recalled the face of Alois driving into her with excitement, and the sofa table in the distance reminded her of lying under Alois, shaking uncontrollably from the pleasure he poured into her, regardless of the dishes getting messed up.

Alois tried to take away the precariously swaying wine glass by wrapping his hand around hers, but Olivia refused his touch and wouldn’t let go of the glass.

“It seems you’ve drunk enough to be intoxicated?”

“I’m not drunk. I wanted to get drunk but couldn’t, that’s why I’m sad.”

Muttering in a sorrowful voice, Olivia smiled faintly and leaned her head against Alois’s chest. Once again, Alois took the wine glass from her hand, and the space left by the removed glass was filled with Alois’s fingers intertwining. Lowering their clasped hands, he put away his book so Olivia could lean on him comfortably.

“Since I’m not drunk, please listen. I came to apologize now.”

“Apologize? To me?”

“Mmm. I’m sorry for getting angry that you didn’t listen to me and didn’t wait, for resenting you for killing the little ones, for all of it.”

“……”

“I knew it wasn’t true. That it was already too late, that it was irreversible, that whatever I did would have led to the same result.”

Alois, leaning against the bed headboard, and Olivia, leaning sideways against his chest, were silent for a while. Feeling Alois’s calm, regular breathing, she gazed vaguely into the void. Having someone’s warmth nearby made the unbearable afterimages no longer appear, giving her some relief.

“If I had done something a little faster, could I have saved them all?”

“……”

“No, even if I couldn’t save them, maybe I could have prevented them from being used in such horrible experiments.”

Where did it go wrong? If this was going to happen, I shouldn’t have treated those little ones, letting them suffer in pain for so long. She wondered if she should have sent them off peacefully with her own hands, but then she would torment herself again for having such a cruel thought of killing lives that could have been saved.

Gently stroking the back of her clasped hand with his finger, Alois met Olivia’s eyes.

“The one who abused those little ones and used them for strange experiments, the one who did wrong, is all the administrator.”

“……”

“And as you saw directly, I’m the one who finally ended the life that had become a monster.”

“I said I apologized for those words earlier.”

“No, I have no intention of accepting your apology. So you can continue to resent me.”

Unlike his firm words that showed no gaps, Alois’s eyes looking at her contained a gentle energy as soft as the glow of the subtle lighting. At his words that he would willingly accept it even if she continued to resent him, Olivia turned her gaze away with a tearful expression.

“All you did was treat those little ones’ wounds and try to save them, so you have no responsibility for all this misfortune.”

“……I understand why you were irritated.”

She grumbled peevishly, rubbing her reddened eyes against the hem of Alois’s shirt. Confused about how to respond to her childlike sulking, Alois’s hand wandered in the air for a while before awkwardly patting Olivia’s shoulder.

“On the day of the accident during your first heat cycle, you were really irritated with me.”

“Yes.”

“I feel exactly the same way. It’s annoying. I did something wrong, but you keep worrying about me, which makes me feel even more sorry.”

“So your conscience is being pricked twice as much?”

“That was mean, really.”

At the joke repeating what Olivia had said then, she glanced at Alois with moist eyes. His eyes, which had been unusually languid and playful, quickly turned serious. His large hand cupped Olivia’s cheek and carefully rubbed the path where tears might fall with his thumb, though none had yet.

“You really can resent me without worrying. Even if your resentment is added, I won’t feel much difference.”

“How can you say that.”

While she couldn’t alleviate the unfounded rumors floating around the world, she had no desire to add another resentment to them, so Olivia didn’t like his self-deprecating joke. She didn’t know how to express this feeling. Affectionate, pitiful, sad, yet ticklish. The feeling of wanting him to accept all her tantrums, yet wanting to willingly share his burden—do you know this emotion?

Olivia stared at Alois with eyes mixed with excitement and melancholy, thinking that even in sadness and pain, she ended up coming to his side like this. For a moment, their gazes intertwined gently. Looking at Alois’s eyes, which still didn’t reveal what he was thinking, Olivia slightly raised her head.

Her eyelids softly closed. She cupped Alois’s cheek and carefully pressed her lips against his. Exchanging the slightly escaping breaths, she prayed that the emotion she was feeling right now would be fully conveyed to him.

After the brief kiss, as she slowly opened her eyes, slightly surprised enlarged pupils were staring at her. Looking at the man who probably hadn’t closed his eyes even during the kiss, she smiled at him.

“What does this mean?”

“……I don’t really know either.”

“Today isn’t my heat cycle.”

“I know that too.”

It was fortunate that he didn’t misunderstand in that way.

“Humans usually kiss even without heat cycles. Think about what that means yourself.”

“You don’t know either?”

“Yes. Since I don’t know either, I hope you can find the meaning, Alois.”

With a confused expression, Alois examined every corner of Olivia’s face as if searching for an answer. The despair that still remained thick, not yet having fully thrown away her sadness, caught his eye first. He knew that wasn’t the meaning of this kiss, but he didn’t want to send her away with such suffering left as it was.

“Do you need comfort?”

“Is that it? I just want to not think about anything. Can you do that?”

“I think I’ve already done that several times.”

This time, Alois kissed Olivia first. It was a completely different emotion from the tender meaning she had conveyed just before. It was the exchange of instinct that already felt familiar.

His tongue roughly delved into her lips and captured her. Just as their legs tangled as they overlapped and fell, their red tongues rubbed against each other and intertwined. Their lips met and parted as they turned their heads over and over, and a thin thread formed and broke repeatedly between their lips, which were becoming increasingly wet.

As her breathing became more and more burdensome, Olivia panted and returned the same question she had wanted to ask herself.

“Can you really do it? Today isn’t your heat cycle.”

Alois didn’t answer and just buried his head in her neck, pulling her close. Between their tangled legs, Alois’s firmly er*ect c*ck could be felt. Olivia’s robe, which she had been wearing half-undressed, had already fallen to the floor below the bed.

“If I couldn’t, I wouldn’t have laid you on the bed.”

At Alois’s confident answer, Olivia let out a soft laugh. I hope I can sleep tonight. Whispering in his ear that she would rather be completely filled with Alois so that no thoughts could enter, Olivia closed her eyes.

Lying in bed together with a completely sane mind, not in heat, felt strange. Usually, she would be swept away by pleasure poured out violently like being engulfed in a tsunami, but now she could fully feel each of Alois’s small movements. His tongue slowly glided over her chest like a brush painting a picture.

“Mmm……”